TTC after miscarriage- March 2007

[duchesse]

Sorry, guys, can't leave a redirect at the old one- it's not accepting new messages. I hope nobody's already set a new one up...

Morning

Hello littlebitshy how are you today? Sorry you felt so awful at work I was the same, someone accused me of jamming the printer and I felt like I was going to cry. I hope it passed quickly and wasn?t too bad, being nosy but what is it you do? The hormones really don?t help the situation; you have to be really nice to yourself . I don?t think it matters how pg you were, it?s the loss of the expectation as much as the physical loss that hurts so much. I gave up biscuits for Lent but I have to say, the day I found out I?d lost my baby, I had two chocolate digestives, I figured that Jesus wouldn?t have minded too much and would understand my lapse Take care of you x

Hi Popsy ? hope the call went well with your friend. It?s quite exhausting talking about what you?ve been through sometimes. Enjoy buying nice clothes today I?ve been to Brent Cross! My sis used to live near there! I think the whole TTC process as well as being pg shows us that we really have no control whatsoever over these things and nor can we hope to, in some ways that makes me feel better. Though I am a self-confessed control freak, I have learnt to realise that when there are things you cannot change, it?s a waste of energy to try. I know what you mean about looking forward to events and wondering what your condition will be, I?m trying to tempt fate at the moment and assume for the hens and weddings I have coming up that I won?t be and have bought clothes accordingly! Not that I?ll mind buying new ones if I am pg I?ve always thought that the things that are hard to come by in life seem to be the things I cherish the most, I?m sure I will feel like that about my baby ? blood, sweat and tears but worth every one! I?m like you; I need a new focus but am very time poor! Wish we had some sunshine, its cold and wet up here By the way, I agree with you about what your dr said, if we behaved like that, we?d never feel the excitement that we should, even if it is short lived!

I?m impressed about your self control over the booze Popsy. I love my wine and though I did give it up as soon as I got my BFP, I have to say, I have drowned my sorrows a bit. I am being good and not drinking too much and I agree, I will say to people now that given what?s happened to my body, I want to take it easy and that means it will be easier to hide another pregnancy better than the last one (though I fooled them all ? even over a hen weekend with all my lush friends! ) How about taking up relaxing as our new hobby? I will need lots of practice as I?m not good at it!

Last year, I really threw myself into my garden but I lack motivation this year, especially as we are trying to sell the house. I like reading too alittlebitshy, I?m in a book club with 8 others and we?ve read some great books, the one at the mo is awful though it?s a Cathy Lette one called ?How to kill your husband? it?s full of smutty innuendos and there?s not much of a story Like chick lit on hols but not for evening escapism from real life!

Hello Peanutbutter bit better today thanks. Think I was just tired from doing too much and worrying about work. It?s a bit stressful at the moment and I have a business meeting tomorrow which is going to be really gruelling. I never have problems sleeping . My diet is quite good, I really try to eat lots of healthy things (in fact, I just eat too much ). How are you doing?

Hello Poppy ? I like your thinking I wish I could give up work altogether but we need the cash DH says he?s love a stay at home wife! We live and learn don?t we! Flaxseed oil is full of omega oils as I understand it

I like the new name GillyD! what is your masters in? I?m so nosey

Hello Winkygirl ? I love beauty treatments too glad to hear the bleeding is tailing off, I felt so much better when it stopped

No one?s really mentioned TTC for a while, how are you all getting on? I just feel that my body is not ready yet

I'm back - phew can you smell the melting plastic? Better get an evening job ha ha. Bought some tightish jeans in case I manage to lose the belly and a smock top in case I don't.I also found a fab red dress in coast (£35 in sale!!) for my friends wedding in Prague in June. Was supposed to be faulously blooming so dress is to cheer me up.
Brent cross is full of ladies with babies ...do not go there unless feeling very strong - actually most of them looked very harrassed so I actually felt okay as I tucked into my mango frescato and berry muffin with a book (billy no mates).

MrsMclovely you are so nice to everyone and thoughtful -bet all your friends love you! How do you manage to be a high flying business woman too? I laughed out loud when you suggested taking up relaxing as my new hobby - that is exactly what I should be doing. I was on my "relaxing" walk yesterday and had to keep stopping to tell myself to slow down as I was marching as if late for a train or something hmmmm is rediculous that I have to work hard at relaxing .

alittlebitshy I too am addicted to chick lit. I am a lecturer by day and a total trash junky by night - can't get enough of the stuff - and the magazines. Actually glad to hear that Kathy Lette is crap as I nearly bought it today - got four others instead - can't wait to get settled on the sofa with the cat and the last dregs of the chocolate box - work on Monday so really getting the most out of the next few days.

On the booze front I am going out for the first time tomorrow night (in my too tight jeans and smock ha ha) so very unlikely to manage it sober but we'll see...Actually think I should or I might forget the doctors no sex orders...a month is a bloody long time if you ask me.

hello everyone.
Sounds like we're having slightly better days today? no?

We had a lovely day actuallly. Dd's term ended yesterday so we are spending today and tomorrow doing trips before all the other schools break up (ie so places are slightly less busy - ha! forgot about school trips ). So today we went to the science museum - i'd never been before. It was good - dd liked it a lot. Then we went to pizza hut for a late (buffet - yum) lunch. Tomorrow it's the zoo. We have an annual membership so even if it rains it's not a waste of money cos we have technically already paid for the ticket so not wasting a whole day's ticket (although this year we have not gone as many times as last year cos of dd having started school nursery).

MrsMcNosy ( I am a librarian. A qualified one and all that jazz too. Although - i did my masters and qualified, we got married in the july (this was 5 years ago), got a job and then found out I was pg with dd, had crap crap m/s and a very rubbish boss, so left (in the end went for constructive dismissal). Then I went back to the lovely little library i had done eves at while i was doing my ma, and worked 3 eves a week for the rest of the pregnancy, and went back at 1 night a week when dd was 8 months old................

popsy - your shopping sunds great!!!!!!!

winky - gkad your bleeding is tailing off.

Mine seems to be too - whch means that this m/c is, apart from clots etc and the pain and discomfort, not much longer than a normal period (of course i may be wrong - it may just be taking a rest before it comes back with avengeance). I suppose if i had not been ttc i would have thought it was a rather late, rather odd looking period. Next time (ha!) i'm NOT testing til I am 2 weeks late!!!!!!!

re ttc again, I am waiting til i have had one period, then we'll get going after that has finished. If af comes back "when expected" I guess I'll be trying for a bfp in may.

hi littlebitshy - from your description i think i might have had an early mc before this one. I got really bad really bad cramps for a whole weekend without any bleeding then started bleeding but really heavy and really painful - spesh at night (never had them wake me up before). Bloody hell - if it was then I must be due a good one next time (third time lucky ?)

I imagaine a lot of people probably have them without realising. I mean if they're not as obsessive as us lot about knowing the second they're pg, they might not tik to test for a while.

scary.

gillydaff: where are you doing the ma? do you work in museums now?

questions. lol.

me again.
oh feck. a bad week in all. My dad has this bizarre problem where sometimes when eating, his throat feels like it is closing up and he cannot swallow. food gets stuck and he has to try and retch it up. He has refused to have a camera put down- daft fool that he is. Just had text from my mum - they're at a and e cos it's happened tonight and is still stuck. he has agreed to cameras (i imagine she extracted promise as he sat gagging, bless him) thank god - hope they refer him asap.

it never rains but it pours he'll be fine but i have always been scared of my parents' mortality and feeling so fragile makes it worse. I'm an only child too so i feel it quite acutely

hiya

can i join?! i used to be on this thread ages ago. i am trying to be positive and look to the future and have the attitude of "good things come to those who wait" so i thought there wouldnt be a better thread for moral support than a thread where veryone knows what you are going through.

i am on my 11th cycle following mc in june (conceived very easily for that pg) it is getting very tiring and repetitive and heartbreaking as every month the thoughts get stronger about somthing being wrong following my mc (i had an infection which was untreated for 1-2 weeks)

hope you dont mind x and big hellos to you all x

Morning all, welcome iwillbepgbydec07 i like your name - very positive! Have you been back to the doctor about your infection/link to ttc? I think you have to be quite pushy with them these days as they are so over worked and just ignore you unless you get in their faces a bit? If I have enough money I want to go private for anything that happens after this - particularly if I have to have another erpc - was such a conveyor belt at Lister - shudder at the thought! Mind you would be bloody expensive if I keep having problems.Don't realise how healthy you have been til you are trying to get PG eh?

My friend is arriving in a few mins. Have made brownies to tempt her off her pre wedding diet (evil laughter from me). Wearing smock top - look like my mum 30 years ago ha ha ( i think top shop have stolen her wardrobe)

Have a good day everyone xxx

Hello very tired MrsMc here ? help me through the nest 3 hours! I was meant to be away on business today but due to flights being cancelled and then delayed, I was back in the office for 10.30am having already been on the go for 6 hours! Had teleconferences ever since and can?t wait for the bell to go for home time!

How is everyone today?

Popsy ? Living life to the max on your credit card are you hon? Like the sound of your wares, Coast sale?s are great, they really mark the prices down. You are very organized buying an outfit for June now but I know you are an organized lady and like me, apart from trying to tempt fate to make you too big for it by then you are also trying to avoid wearing anything that someone else might be wearing by buying it now, and for less, am I right? I think shopping centress are full of Mums and kids generally, seems to be thought of as a great day out for the little ones I only go shopping on my own by the way, not because I have no mates but because I need full concentration! Thank you for saying those nice things about me I have lots of faults and I?m sure my friends could point those out to you! I?m going to be strict with you about the relaxing how about we both try to do at least one totally relaxing thing a week and report back? I know what you mean about the walk, I?m one for ticking the done box more than enjoying the doing! That must change! Hope you?ve spent a large part of today with the chick lit, sofa, chocs and cat! Enjoy your night out, bet you do succumb to the booze but it might be just the kind of night you need right now!

alittlebitshy ? are you a scary librarian?! (alittlebitscary!) Glad you and DD had a lovely day. Wish my Mum had done stuff like that with me Hope the weather is holding out for you at the zoo. Glad to hear the bleeding is stopping. You?ll feel much better when it does I know exactly what you mean about the length of time for which it lasted, I was the same. The other thing is how quickly you forget just how awful the actual process was and how bad the physical pain was, I guess your mind just wipes it out (like labour?!) I?m not belittling what we have all been through, just marveling at the power of the mind to forget physical pain. I said that too about testing next time round but don?t believe a word of it.

Gillydafodil ? hello your masters sounds interesting, I?m a bit of a dance when it comes to your specialism sorry about your Mum

Popsy ? I think I may have had a V early MC in October, I was a few days late and the period was very heavy which is very unusual for me. It was nothing like what I had this time round but then the difference is about 6 weeks I suppose! You?re due a good one anyway hon! Brownies, YUM! have fun with your friend.

alittlebitshy ? hope your Dad?s ok very worrying for you. I can?t even think about my parents mortality, I can?t even read magazine articles about it.

Hello Iwillbe, old chum of course you can join us

Hello all, hope you all okay. Am feeling quite positive today (early on in new cycle and all that). Don't know how any of you feel about this type of stuff but went to Clairvoyant evening last night and the medium gave me a message from my Mum - there was quite a lot she said and it was all accurate but the thing that got me was the first thing she said.
She told me I had lost a little one by miscarriage, that it was a boy and that my Mum was holding him. I m/c'd a couple of weeks after Mum died and he would have been about 6 weeks old by now. She also told me that he would come back to me when the time was right. I have been told previously that I have to move forward too and last night she told me I had 'made it'. I am hoping that means I have come through the worst of it all and fingers crossed I'll have my LO soon.
As I said, I don't know how others feel about this but it has given me a great deal of comfort and I just wanted to share it with you.

Hello everyone. Haven't been here for a couple of weeks. Really busy at work and have had nothing to report.....but am worried that unless I pop in and say hi I'll get forgotten about
Have started grapefruit juice this month and have noticed increased cm already. (Am now on CD9)
Also, have a question about health after ERPC....ever since my ERPC (on 19th Jan)I have had a strange pain when I orgasm. It kind of feels like it runs diagonally backwards down my vagina. However, I have to confess that my orgasmic opportunities have not been vast since mc, and also that the pain/sensation only lasts a second or two, which means that I don't really have time to concentrate on it to suss out exactly what it is, IYSWIM!! The pain obviously isn't that bad cos it hasn't made me want to not have sex or anything, and I've been assuming that it is just me being a but bruised from ERPC, but it is now 2 months on and still happening. Should I be worried or do you think I'm right about just being a bit bruised?

MrsMc - I would not worry about AF not turning up yet - didn't turn up until 3 months after my first m/c and 2 1/2 after my second - sometimes it takes a bit of time to settle down although it is frustrating! You are right about m/c not just being physical - you also lose the new future you had planned - it all changes.
Sorry to hear you are working so hard too - tut-tut! How smart to be in a book club though - I would love to be as I love discussing things I have read, especially if I loved it! I love to read anything! (BTW, hope you don't mind but I peeked at your pics on your profile (pre-easter name), you look just like I imagined! I noticed the kilts in the pic, are you Scottish? (am vvvv nosey). My DH's father was Scottish and we had kilts at our wedding - they are fab!)

Popsy - glad you had a good shopping trip! I am hoping to get one out of DH for my birthday, am not really one for big presents - nothing I really want - am very easily pleased!

Alittlebitshy - I am so at your job! I love books, I quite wanted to be a librarian when I was small! Am sorry to hear about your Dad though, glad he has agreed to some tests, hope they go okay and find the problem.

IwillbepgbyDec07 - hello! I would definitely go and see the docs if I were you even if just to get checked out. Is your cycle quite regular? Docs could also do some blood tests to check that you are ovulating too.

GillyDaffodil - like the name - IMHO Daffies are one of the nicest flowers and they always make me smile.

WinkyGirl - glad that your bleeding is slowing. I felt much better once it had - I felt I could start to move on.

Peanutbutter - how are you? Hope you okay.

Hi Feedmenow, you're not forgotten but I know what you mean! Popped my head in the hut earlier actually for the same reason...
I had similar pain to you after ERPC in Oct, It did happen for the first couple of months and was quite sharp and quick but more a discomfort than a pain IYSWIM. I can't remember when it stopped actually but it has definitely gone now. I would imagine it could be bruising of some kind but if it worries you I would speak to your GP (that seems to be my standard answer doesn't it?!)

Beckel, tbh, I am happy just to hear that it has happened to someone else and that it will go away of it's own accord. It makes sense that it is just bruising so I think I'll just wait a while longer. If it hasn't stopped in a few weeks I might pop along to GP just to be on the safe side. Thanks for the reassurance!!

no probs, I remember worrying there was something wrong too but was a bit to go to GP as we don't have any female ones!

FMN - know what you mean, have not been here much coz been working late an awful lot at work, plus major IT issues to no Mumsnet during the day
Hope everyone is okay, sorry to hear avout your Dad littlebitshy, I hope you manage to persuade him to have the camera down, I know a couple of people who've had that and it really isn't that bad, just rather uncomfortable!
Beckle - you have to remember there is nothing to be embarrassed about, doctors have seen it all...

Morning girls, had a good day yesterday with my friend - it made me realise how much I've been through as she was so upset when I told her everything. Am going to be her bridesmaid again after all (would have been 8 months) as even if we get right to it next cycle and everything goes to plan (not that hopeful to be honest) I'll only be 12 weeks by then so am going to get a fab dress and look forward and if nothing happens by then at least I can properly enjoy the fab hen do I've organised after all !

Met DH in town afterwards and went for a nice meal then on to meet friends in the pub. I didn't fancy any more booze so Dh did it for the both of us - was up all night chucking his guts up ha ha - I have changed!!!! Anyway, we got back on the wagon this morning yippee had forgotten how much i hate condoms - god is going to be a long month. Felt like quite a watershed actually (and yes I get strange pains too- hoping they'll go!)
NCT leaflets came through post yesterday (great!). I emailed to say won't be needing it after all and the lady dropped a miscarriage leaflet through the door this morning. Is actually useful but realised I get my support from all of you ahhhh.
I'm on internet this morning looking for tickets to benicassim a festival in spain - PMA!!
Anyway - the sun is shining today yippee am going to enjoy it and think positive thoughts - sending big hugs and successful conception vibes to everyone!!!
xxxxxx

Glad to hear you so positive Popsy and that you had a good day with your friend! It is good that you are finding positive things to look forward to - that is a big part of recovering I think - and one I have struggled with this time. I am getting there now though and I think a lot of that is due to you guys, it does me so much good to talk to people who have been through it too and who don't mind if am feeling down and need a whine!

Becklespeckledegg ? I?m a believer that?s incredible what was said and I really hope that it really means you are nearly there . I?ve been before and have been told amazing things that subsequently panned out. If it gives hope, that has got to be a good thing!

Don?t say that about the lack of AF that is my biggest fear at the mo, the amount to time until I fill that baby sized gap, at least when you have normal cycles and trying there is hope that it might happen. I know I need patience but it?s not one of my virtues! Funny that I looked like you imagined do you have brown hair, big brown eyes and freckles? Just what I imagine! Yes, my Mother?s family is Scottish, ex-pat and my DH and family are Scottish and we live in Scotland at the moment.

Hello feedmenow we did miss you you know! don?t know the answer to your question I?m afraid but I hope the others have made you feel better.

Hello Catbabymummy ? hope next week is a better one at work!

Hi Popsy ? so glad you had such fun with your friend and that you are looking forward to her wedding! It is so hurtful when pg related mail arrives isn?t it? Every week I get an email from Emma?s diary pronouncing how many weeks pregnant I am now not and though each time I try to unsubscribe, they still send them and it sets me back days .

We had a friend I met on MN and her Ds & DH round for lunch today, I really enjoyed it and we actually sat outside for drinks ? in Scotland on 31/3

MrsMcEasterBunny - I have always been a believer and the message on Thursday really has given me hope, I am feeling fairly positive now.
And just to tempt fate I have ordered some new trousers for summer and I sold my people carrier yesterday (bought last summer when pg to accommodate extra child) and am looking for a smaller car.
I do understand your fear of AF taking long time to arrive, every day you wait feels like you are treading water. Didn't mean to be insensitive at all , was trying to be reassuring! I'm not massively patient either but with TTC I have no choice. I have to say that I hoped and hoped that I would be regular after the D&C as that is what happened after the first one but maybe my body is just not ready yet.
You are nearly right with your image of me - I do indeed have brown hair and some freckles but have big greyish eyes rather than brown! Isn't it funny how we imagine what others look like on here?! I have seen whole threads on it!
I do love Scotland and would love to live there - have not been to much of it but been through a fair bit of it! On our way up again this summer to visit family on Orkney and I can't wait! How lovely to meet someone from MN! Glad you had a lovely day and the weather was good!

It is very hard when pg related mail and such arrives, I had a phone call just before my due date from the Health Visitor - she wanted to do my home visit before the birth - she had no idea I had miscarried, that was hard.

Anyway - sorry for the waffle, I do tend to talk a bit much, even on here!

thanks everyone for your kind welcomes

popsy - i havent been back to the doctors about the infection part of me is very scared to a) be turned away and feeling silly and b) that they actually will find somthing wrong with me.
it hasnt been a year yet so im trying to give it some time. i was thinking of going back in june when we have been ttc a year. i tried to go private when i found out i was pg but bupa dont cover you unless somthing goes wrong but boy did i wish i had taken the policy out! i had my treatment at the L & D and boy was it shocking! i was treated as nothing!
you sound like you had a wonderful day the other day. im pleased your spirits are lifting

beckle - that sounds so lovely and reassuring what the clairvoyant told you, i suppose it must give you such an overwhelming sense of peace? my periods arnt that regular the shortest was 22 days longest 31. at the moment they seem to be 26-28 days.

feedmenow - i remember your name from somewhere were you on the ttc threads? sorry to hear about your traumas. i would get yourself checked out if the pain is bothering you. sorry im not much help.

mrsmcjnr - helllloooooo! im so sorry your frustration is creeping in by the lack of af its so annoying when you are waiting around and have no power to influence it unlike when we are ttc. as hoprrid as it is some women go a few months before it arrives and some a few weeks. i pray that it will be sooner rather than later for you ((hugs))
i completely know where you are coming from with regards to lealets etc - as soon as i found out i was pg i applied for every freebie going online and didnt receive a thing until i mc then they seemed to be flooding in. i found it very hard at first especially when some of the leaflets from huggies and pampers counted down the weeks to go. i made up a little box and i have kept everything in it all the leaflets and doctors notes so i still have the memory of how happy i was for the 12 weeks i carried my baby. a little crazy i know but it helped.

hello all, it's been a few days since I logged in and now i'm sitting with my mug of coffee catching up on everyone's news. Does anyone else have days when they just can't face MN? The majority of the time I have a warm feeling about MN, i've been posting for 2 years and lurking for about a year before that, and the vast majority of people are warm and friendly; but just like in RL there are those that - well, - aren't! Having a break from MN here and there helps me keep it in its correct perspective iyswim.

Anyway. Gilly - glad to hear the reflexology left you feeling reassured. I started reading up on reflexology a few years ago with the vague and woolly purpose of learning it, but it fell by the wayside as these things often do

beckledspeckledegg - i'm open minded about the afterlife but i'm glad your experience gave you comfort - I would have found enormous comfort from it too.

MrsMcJnr - hello! glad you're feeling less tired than when we last spoke. I place a huge premium on sleep - I immediately notice the difference if I can't have at least 7.5hrs. I often go to bed at 9pm (or earlier) just so I can read a little then get plenty of sleep. Sometimes wish I could be like Margaret Thatcher and function efficiently on 4hrs or whatever crazy amount she said she had. I sometimes feel I waste loads of time asleep in bed!

feedmenow - not sure about your question but it seems beckledpeckledegg experienced similiar which went in its own time. But like she also said, have a word with your Dr if you're worried .

I have to get ds lunch ready now because we're then dashing out to enjoy the sunshine. Hello to everyone else and welcome to the newcomers.