TTC after miscarriage- March 2007

[duchesse]

Sorry, guys, can't leave a redirect at the old one- it's not accepting new messages. I hope nobody's already set a new one up...

Hi All - sympathies and hugs to everyone. Its a tough time isn't it.

I have begun to tell people that we are struggling in the production of number2, if they ask. Its so rude to ask but people do all the time if you're in a relationship and at acertain age, or have 1 or more and they get to a certain age. People are just damn nosey.

Also sympathies on knowing pregnant people - I know eleven at the mo. Its hard.

11! Wheelybug I really feel for you. I only know 2 and that's bad enough!

Thanks Gillian - I guess it comes with being in my early 30s knowing lots of people with children dd's age (2)....

How awful for you Jules, of course you want to feel normal, like you, again. Was going to ask if you had conceived again too. I had similar to you - still had +ive tests 7-8 weeks after m/c last year - they sent me for blood tests, messed them up, sent me for more and finally scanned me. However, with me they could see my womb lining was about 3cm thicker than it should be and I had to have an D&C. They didn't expect to see anything on the scan though - they told me there only has to be 1 cell left behind to still give you HGC in your system.

GP - complete waste of time. He agreed that I was ill trhough stress but offered me sweet FA. No counselling, no chemical therapies, no blood tests, nothing.
He was a total arsehole.
Going to try my company's confidential counselling service instead.

Hello everyone - not really been keeping up as I am working away at the moment, so apologies if I have missed updates or got things wrong here - just wanted to say a few hellos...

Jules - just seen this and wanted to say how sorry I am that things are still dragging on for you. I have no experience or advice to offer, only my sympathy. I hope things get better somehow.

MrsMc - really glad to see you are still being your positive self (well, most of the time) . I wish you good things this month!

Catbaby - I really fell out with my body after my second m/c too. I don't know what to say about the treatment (or rather lack of it) from GP. The aftercare following m/c or ectopic or chemical pregnancy is just so poor.

Duchesse and all the others from the Hut - sorry to see us still on these threads. .

Gillian ? sounds like your colleague was more sensitive than some though!

I think that MC is still a taboo and most people really don?t know what happens and what the issues surrounding them and trying again are ? for one, I wish I didn?t

Becklespeckle ? I do understand where you are coming from, but most people are probably worrying about you after what you have been through not what you might be about to go through. Don?t blame your body hon, it?s not that it is not working properly, it is just trying to recover from what you?ve already endured, be kind to it Poor you with that long wait for the HCG to go down, it really is a big fear after a MC isn?t it? The thought of having to go in for a D&C so much later is awful .

Jules ? god Jules, how awful for you I have to say that I am still too scared to test. I find it odd that they cannot see on the scan if there is anything in your tubes or not? Maybe they are trying to play it safe. I know a friend who had an ectopic was injected with something and as a result they saved the tube which was great for her but in your situation, I think I?d want to be very sure that they had done all they could to find out why before playing it safe on their part but pumping me with drugs I might not need when my body is already recovering from a shock. I?m sorry that is not much help but I think you need to quiz them more about why they are suggesting this.

Wheelybug ? I?m like you Wheely, I know 8!

Catbabymummy ? sorry that it went that way with the GP. Hope you have more luck with the counselling service.

Strangetown ? thanks hon you too! I know what you mean about the aftercare after a MC, I?ve had zilch, no referral back, nothing.

Catbabymummy - docs, etc are often useless during/after m/c - I can only assume they see it so often that they become desensitised to what a big deal it is for us, I was very lucky and my GP was lovely - shame I can't say the same about the EPU. Hopefully the counselling will do you some good, if not is there another GP you could speak to??
I agree that follow up is poor - I didn't get any at all after my last m/c despite the fact it wasn't straightforward. The only reason I've seen anyone since is because I went back to the GP because I didn't feel right. I only got follow up with my first m/c because there were possible signs of genetic problems on the foetus and they wanted to test it (came back with nothing wrong).
MrsMcJnr - you always seem so calm and positive despite what you've been through this year, I wish I had some of your inner strength. I am trying not to be too hard on my body, this time AF seems normal - is starting to slow now and hopefully will be finished by Sun. Am hoping and hoping this is a sign of hormones settling. Am eating porridge again (oats good for hormones) and after easter hols will be popping to the gym a couple of times a week, have not been able to go this term as been working at DS2s playschool (excercise and porrige are the only things I did differently last year - and had a nearly regular cycle before falling pg unheard of for me!).

hello all. well i'm back in the saddle as far as ttc is concerned.

as it were .

dh has been very kind and patient but he was quite forceful this morning (in a silly playful way to make me laugh and relax). i'd been getting worried about doing it for the first time since the m/c - strange feelings and thoughts. anyway, it was fine so we're back to the work in progress as catbabymummy put it .

jules - what a horrible thing to have to go through. I agree with MrsMcJnr; i would ask more questions about this procedure before going ahead with it.

Catbabymummy sorry to hear your GP visit was such a waste of time

Hi Peanutbutter! Glad you back in the saddle (in a totally non-kinky way), I found first time after m/c very strange, was very nervous. Personally I felt much better once we were trying again.

Hi
I sincerely hope this isn't inappropriate to ask - but I do not know where best to post.
I had a m/c last June after 10 days of brown spotting - and because of this became quite concerned with MrsMcJnrs scenario. Well, I just wonder if any of you had the same and if you have looked into what you might do differently. I have just had 36hrs of unusual spotting but now af is in full flow -I vowed I'd get lots of rest (which I did) but I'd like some suggestions of what to try IF the chance arises again.

Thanks - and sorry we are united in this way.

Hi Sunshinedays, I am sure it is not inappropriate to ask. Do you mean what would you do differently with regards to the pregnancy or if you got spotting again?
With regards to pregnancy I honestly don't think there is much you can do to stop a miscarriage, I think it is pre-determined. The GP told me that when the egg fertilises all the information needed to form a baby is put together. If the 'instructions' didn't merge properly and any info is missing then the baby will stop growing at that point (I think baby does most of the major stuff before 13 weeks, which is why the risk of miscarriage goes down after that).
With regards to spotting, I had brown spotting with each pg but more with the 2 I lost. I don't think I could do anything differently if it happens again, my GP was lovely and I rested as much as I could (with 2 DSs). I didn't find the EPU particularly helpful although saying that they did send me for quantative blood tests which showed I was miscarrying so I didn't have to go through the waiting that MrsMcJnr and others on here did. I would definitely would ask for those again as well as a scan.
If I am lucky enough to fall pg again then I will be asking for an early scan and a 12-13 week one (I lost my first at 12-13 weeks) as well as the 20 week one.
The first period after m/c I had a week of spotting and on/off bleeding before it got going. The second I had 2 weeks of it before full flow arrived - I even did a pg test while bleeding just in case.
Does that answer your question at all?

sorry for the long winded post

Becklespeckledegg ? like the new name is it seasonal?! I?m not really calm, I scream inside ? a lot! I think it is just my nature to be positive about things but it often verges on the ridiculous I think thank you for being so nice to me, the support helps me so much So glad AF seems normal, that?s definitely a good sign I plucked up the courage to do a test this morning, it was negative so maybe I am getting there, temps are still pre Ov though. I read that about oats last year and got teased for adding it to my chart because no one believed me! I always have porridge in the morning (with raisins ) and you know and odd thing, the only real cravings I had in those lovely pg weeks were for apples and flap jacks! I was having a chat to myself last night (as you do) about how I am really not happy with the way I look, I?d really like to be 2 stone lighter and get fit. I must find the motivation. DH and I have just got out of the habit of finding time for exercise ? this morning is a typical example, he?s still sleeping and I am on the internet when we could be outside having a lovely walk together in the beautiful sunshine going to go and wake him up and demand walkies!

Your description of what can go wrong was really good I do agree, I don?t think there is much that I could have done differently apart from being healthier before I got my BFP but in my heart I think I know that that would have made no difference at all. I think rest is important for the mind and for your body but at the end of the day, it will only help if the issue is with you e.g. a structural issue or something, it won?t stop the MC if that is was nature intends. We never saw a heartbeat and from my reading I now think that that was determinative that the issue was with the baby and we were just unlucky (that said, I?m going to push my GP on Monday to test me for the blood clotting issues I have now found out affect my family ).

Hello Peanutbutter ? I am making the most of being able to eat that at the moment by the way, I LOVE it! Glad you have got over that horrible hurdle

Hello Sunshinedays not inappropriate at all. Thank you for being concerned for me. You know, my hunch is still that that spotting was cervical sensitivity (maybe erosion?) rather than to do with the baby itself. At the first scan (though she was small for dates) they could see no reason for the spotting, nor at the second when the baby had grown, it was only after the proper full bleed that the MC happened. I do remember spotting a bit during sex in the first few weeks (the reason we stopped as it scared me ) but I have since read that it is quite common for the cervix to become more sensitive and bleed. What do you think? Could it be that with you? I was on the pill for so many years and one of the side effects is cervical erosion. Maybe the GP could look into it for you?

Morning MrsMcJnr, yes the name is seasonal, there are lots about and I thought I'd join in! Hope you enjoy your walk this morning! (dull and damp here) It is no bad thing to be so positive, I am the opposite and its no fun sometimes! IKWYM about screaming inside, I do too. I'm glad I'm not going mad about the oats thing too, others seem to be a bit sceptical!
I don't think being a bit heavier than you would like before your BFP makes a difference with regards to m/c, if it is going to happen, it will. I am a little on the thin size and would like to be a bit bigger but I don't think that made a difference either. I just make sure I eat well when pg (I don't get cravings, I just go off stuff - hot food, sweet stuff and bread - used to wait for dinner to cold before I ate it!) and take folic acid. I am sure it was nothing you did that made you m/c - I know it doesn't make it any easier but 1 in 4 pg ends in m/c. Hopefully this time next year all of us on here will have beautiful bouncing babies and be posting about sore nipples and lack of sleep!
What are the blood clotting issues in your family? (sorry if being too nosey). My family all have thick blood which clots a bit too easily. It is good to speak to your GP about anything that worries you, I am going to book an appt with mine to ask about hamsters! I have read that you can catch nasty stuff from them which is dangerous in pg, I want to know if wearing gloves while cleaning the kid's one out is enough and whether its okay to handle it.

Yes, thanks Beckle - the description you gave was really useful. Helps to put things in perspective. Hope you are all having a good weekend.

Catbaby-I hope you are ok, I had counselling in December, 4 months after my second m/c and it really helped me, she didn't just talk about the m/c, but lots of other things as well and it made me give myself timeout. I had to pay, to be seen quickly, but I can thoroughly recommend it
Best wishes

Well today I had a postive test result . 2nd cycle after mc. Am very exicited by now so scared. Both times have been at 10 weeks so we have decided to tell no body until after 12 week scan!!! Here's hoping there is 2 lines for you all soon!!!!!

Wow! Congrats Cazzybabs I understand you are scared but fingers crossed it will be okay for you this time. Will you be offered early scans or anything?

hey... i've come from mad hatters and march hares with a brief stop in november antenatal, whoch means that i now belong here

I'm ttc a second baby. I haed a dd who is almost 4, and i had a bfp last monday - and have been bleeding all today. I know it is probably The End, so i'm trying to make myself feel better by talking about it - and apart from my lovel;y dh and my parents, mumsnet is the only outlet so, can i come in???

Welcome alittlebitshy - sorry you are here. Feel free to vent/ask questions. We know what its like.

Congrats Cazzybabs.... and good luck.

Hello to all. Just a quick message as I am on dh's work laptop as mine has died so can't post much or he might catch me so don't know when I will be on next (also on hols on monday for almost a week) but will be thinking of you all.

Hi Alittlebitshy (again). Talk away...
Wheelybug about your laptop - hope you have a lovely hols though!

right - my question of the moment:

I have been bleeding since about 6.30 this morning. NO clots afaik but that amount of bleeding (not especially heavy but not light either), would mean a miscarriage at 5 weeks wouldn't it?!

I will go to gp on Monday but as my surgery is notoriusly crap (dh is going to call, and emand i see a dr, cos they normally make you see a nurse if you make an emergency appt, and i do not want to see the battleaxe who fobs you off. plus i want a drs opinon) should i be fighting for an early scan to check everything is okay (well, not okay, but to check it was a normal pregnancy in the uterus and that nothing is being left behind,) or is that unnecessary?
from people's experience - how long til you got your period back????

and if we felt up to it once bleeding stoped, it is safe to ttc isn't it??? feels heartless to say that but it feels that i need to be proactive and ttc is just that...

achey at the moment.

numb emotionally too. except huge amounts of love for my dd (who my wonderful mum is dealing with right now)

Does not necessarily mean m/c - but could be. I think 75% of pgs with bleeding m/c - but that means that 25% don't. I bled with all of mine (2 I lost and 2 born safely) although usually started around 8 weeks.
If I were you I would ask for quantative blood tests to test for HGC as well as a scan. A scan at 5 weeks might not always show a heartbeat (too early) and therefore they may want you to go back for a repeat scan in a week or so. With the blood tests they did mine 2 days apart and I knew much quicker.
No good asking me about periods - mine are always very irregular! I think (from what I have read on MN) that you would count first day of bleeding as CD1 and lots of people get theirs pretty much on time.

You can start to try as soon as bleeding stops. Docs like you to wait so they can accurately date your next pg if you fall immediately. I have heard there is a slightly higher risk of m/c again but opinion varies (even with docs) about that. It is a purely personal thing and you should do what feels right for you. It is natural to want to try again straight away - I feel there is a baby-shaped gap in my life at the moment and that everything is a bit on hold until I am pg again - but at least I am trying and that does help!

Hi All

alittlebitshy-couldn't read your post and not reply, how horrible for you, you sound so upset. You may be fine though (could be implantation bleeding), it's probably hard to say unless the bleeding gets worse. every m/c I had i just tried to rest and wait it out, after 2 days or so i had a scan, but bleeding became heavier by then anyway. The earliet m/c was at 8 weeks, so it was obvious no hb, etc, I guess I'm saying you could have scan but it may be too early to see hb and then you will have to go back. Hopefully bleeding has slowed and in that case just rest up and think positive.

jossie-great news

Cat- Hope you are feeling better, Hope you did something nice on the weekend too.

Mrs Mc- glad to hear you are having some blood tests, it will make you feel better to know and could save so much heartache as most things are so easily treated.

Hi to everyone else.