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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

TTC after miscarriage- March 2007

698 replies

duchesse · 12/03/2007 20:13

Sorry, guys, can't leave a redirect at the old one- it's not accepting new messages. I hope nobody's already set a new one up...

OP posts:
feedmenow · 20/03/2007 16:09

I was really surprised after my mc when I told one of the school mums (who I knew had also mc a year or two ago) cos she just siad "oh." I'd kind of expected more cos she knew how it feels....but I guess evryone is just different?

gillian1973 · 20/03/2007 16:38

MIL had a mc between the two boys and I am still waiting for her to ask if I'm OK ( I mc in Oct). According to my husband, she didn't even know she was pregnant! Everyone is very different!

feedmenow · 20/03/2007 17:02

Am one step closer to April....just did a test and got a BFN. No real surprise there.

Catbabymummy · 20/03/2007 17:10

Peanutbutter - I'm very mad for you. What a shoddy attitude for the nurse to have.

Feedmenow - sorry about the BFN
Hey maybe you and I are destined to have Xmas babies? I guess everyone's attitude is different, but just because some people are indifferent about it, doesn't me that we should be as well!

Hugs all around ladies!!

feedmenow · 20/03/2007 21:29

Christmas, Easter, Chinese New Year....I'm not fussed if it arrives at any of these times, just want it to be sooner rather than later.......hell, it could turn up while I was out on a date with Brad Pitt and I still wouldn't care!!

Jossiejump · 21/03/2007 11:48

Am terrified
had my third m/c on 17th Feb, had a BFN since and on Monday got a BFP!
Have to inject with Clexane as soon as I get BFP, so have started that, but am too scared about tempting fate to go to EPU attm, as I spent a week last month going every other day for blood tests, to be told that my hormone levels werent increasing enough and then finally decreasing.
Am happy of course, but absolutely terrified!

gillian1973 · 21/03/2007 14:39

Josie congratulations hun! I understand your worry, concerns and anxiety though. I don't know what to suggest other than wait until next week do another test and then contact EPU? Do you have to let your GP/EPU know as soon as you get your BFP because you have to inject with Clexane?

Congratulations again!

Glimmer · 21/03/2007 15:45

Hi Jossie -- congrats! Understand absolutely about being terrified. Have been terrified myself because of continuous bleeding in the last three weeks of my 1st pregnancy after mc with complications. Feel welcome to post on the 'limbo' thread or 'pregnancy after mc thread' under pregnancy. Its a nice group of terriefied people there. Godd luck to you and everybody else!

Glimmer · 21/03/2007 15:45

Oinker -- are you out there? Haven't hread from you in a while Glimmer/d4phne

MrsMcJnr · 21/03/2007 16:51

Catbabymummy ? I?m sorry that there isn?t a way to get you more time off and less stress sounds like you are very valuable to them, make sure they know it! How?s the head today? I had a migraine yesterday (felt hormonal tbh) so I kept off the PC (I had a day off work).

Peanutbutter ? I can?t believe the nurse said that to you as if having a MC is like having a cold are you tempted to lodge a complaint? I?d want to. Good for you for keeping your cool, I would have either blown a gasket or cried my eyes out. How are you feeling? Are you ok?

Becklespeckle ? hello, sorry about AF hon, glad to hear the hormones are settling down though.

Feedmenow ? couldn?t agree more! sorry about the BFN

Jossiejump ? I really hope it works out for you hon, just do whatever you feel best and take each day as it comes.

Hello Glimmer

Haven?t a clue what?s happening with me!

poppy75 · 21/03/2007 18:11

Hello

Hope you don't mind me joining you guys. I fell pregnant last April after a few months of trying but on the 9 week scan there was no heartbeat. I waited 3 weeks then had a ERPC, had an infection afterwards and basically bled for about 6 weeks in total. I was so upset and and therefore had two months off TTC. We have been trying ever since but nothing. I did 3 ovulation tests which were negative. I just want to know if I am still ovulating or if something else is up. It seems that everyone at work is pregnant and two of my colleagues that fell pregnant at the same time now have beautiful babies. I was so upset that I hadn't conceived before my due date and now I think I will never be able to.
It is so good to speak to other people going through the same thing. People at work who don't know keep on asking if I'm going to have a baby soon as I am in my 30's and I just feel like saying I should have one now but it died.

Hayls · 21/03/2007 18:25

Hi all, hope all ok. Poppy, if anybody is insensitive enough to ask that question I wouldn't care less about their reaction and would tell them the truth. IME it's easier when people do know as there's no specualtion or gossipping (in my case when I had/ am having time off work). With my 1st mc I kept it quiet but felt it was a huge burden and ended up telling people and with my 2nd (only 2 weeks ago) I've been up front from the start.
I found that when dd turned 2 people were expecting me to get pg again and kept asking me. Now she's 3.2 and I've had 2 MCs. The fact that people know I've MCd twice has stopped the questions as they know we'd like another, although I think they now wonder when I am going to have a sucessful pg and are just waiting to be told! AT least it stops the questions though.

Catbabymummy · 21/03/2007 19:16

Poppy - I'm so sorry, people can be such idiots at times

Josie - I'm over the moon for you, I shall be keeping my fingers crossed for your little bean

MrsMc - head's been okay, still feel sick and tired all the time though, but going to the GP in the morning. Will let you know how I get one. I went to bed at quarter to nine last night I was that tired! My appertite has virtually disappeared, had to force food down myself last couple of days, which is very unusual for me as I love my food (as you can tell from my waist line!)

Glimmer · 21/03/2007 20:00

Hello MrsMcJnr

jess1996 · 21/03/2007 20:48

Hi all, I'm still feeling crap. My lower abdomen is so achy and I've had a tiny amount of brown/pink spotting the last 2 evenings. I feel really pre-menstrual as well. I was nearly ready to kill a printer at work today . Maybe AF is about to start, although my temps suggested that I may have OV'd obout 11 days ago (or maybe not at all). Before this m/c my cycles were regular so I don't know what's happening. I think I'd be glad to have AF though and then I could consider it a fresh start. A tiny bit of me is thinking that maybe I'm pregnant again and that these are implantation pains/spotting. If only!

Poppy - 2 weeks after my mc someone at work asked me if I was feeling broody. I was so upset by it, so I know how you feel .

becklespeckle · 22/03/2007 00:46

Hi Poppy, sounds like you've had a tough time . My cycle has been particularly bad since I m/c'd last year, although I didn't get an infection, I did end up having ERPC a long time after baby stopped growing (about 14 weeks after it died, about 9 weeks after I knew I had miscarried). I think it puts your body through a lot even without an infection. My cycle is always bad but has been particularly so since m/c, especially AF who when she turns up really messes around. AF arrived this week for the third time since m/c and seems a lot more normal - I am guessing it takes your body some time to recover from such trauma. I am sure you will get pg and have a baby although it is hard to picture sometimes - if you are at all worried then you should see your GP who can do some tests to see what your hormones are doing.
It's very hard when you pass your due date, I spent the afternoon with my friend and her little one, he is 10 weeks old, he was crying so I held him and he went to sleep on me - lovely. Couldn't help thinking that I should have a 6 week old there too though... and so many people I know are announcing they are pg

MrsMcJnr · 22/03/2007 11:26

Poppy75 ? poor you, you?ve had a horrible time, I?m so sorry but it?s lovely to have you with us and we hope this thread really helps and that you fall again very soon When did you do these OV tests? Do you chart your temps & CM or anything like that? It can help to show you things about your cycle in addition to pin-pointing the most fertile days. I?ve decided that if anyone asks me again when I am going to have a baby etc, I?m going to come out and say my baby died, I don?t care if it?s rude or if they squirm, if they?re rude enough to ask, they?ll wish they hadn?t. This comes off the back of being harassed by my PIL since our wedding day last June and by various other people and we got a BFP finally after 8 cycles of trying only for it to end at 10 weeks, I?m not letting anyone add to the pressure anymore. I?m 33 by the way and have 8 pregnant friends at the mo, one due a week before what should have been my EDD testing times ahead!

Hayls ? I agree, the burden of hiding a mc is so heavy. Even felt the need to tell my bank manager yesterday I do know her well though and was trying to get her to refund a bank charge and was blaming my dip into the red on my emotional state which think was fair enough. How are you feeling physically now? I feel empty and flabby, I know the latter sounds odd, I just do. I?ve had some twinges from each ovary but not really like OV pains. I was going to take a test this morning to see if it was ?ive yet (I think MC started 3 weeks ago today but not sure as had a scan 2 days into the bleed and the baby was still there) but I chickened out, it just felt too weird .

Catbabymummy ? hope the GP appointment helps. Wish I had an issue with food (I think I?ve been seeking comfort )

Hello Glimmer ? how are you doing? Feeling a bit better?

Hey Jess, so sorry to hear you are still not feeling right I?m having the same quandary as you about temps and OV, I was regular before and this is so stressful. I like you really want to fall asap but another part of me wants AF to arrive so I at least know where I am in my cycle. I just think maybe my body just doesn?t feel back to normal yet. I hope the pains stop soon.

Becklespeckle ? glad to hear that AF is more normal but sorry that she arrived at all. The dates and milestones do plague you don?t they? I should have been 12 weeks today based on LMP, instead, it?s 3 weeks since the scary bleeding began and 2 weeks tomorrow since they confirmed that the baby had gone . I so want to be pregnant again, it?s almost an obsessive desire.

peanutbutter · 22/03/2007 16:24

hello everyone. feedmenow, sorry about bfn .

poppy - sorry to hear what a rough time you've had. we do all understand how you feel.

MrsMcJnr - i know that empty feeling you talked about and I also try to fill it with comfort eating which of course only makes things worse .

I'm not thinking about complaining about the nurse at clinic - I work in NHS complaints and could probably write the reply i'd get myself . Ideally, she'll be the person i see when and if i get pregnant again, and i'll take a minute to explain to her how i felt after that appointment.

Earlier this week at work, one of the volunteers asked me "aren't you going to give him (ds) a little brother or sister?" . The words "I can't try any fucking harder" were literally in my mouth .

MrsMcJnr · 22/03/2007 16:26

You should have said them Peanut

peanutbutter · 22/03/2007 16:39

that's just it, isn't it - people have no idea how thoughtless and hurtful their throwaway comments are, but i'm too worried about hurting their feeling to saying anything. Actually, if i'm truthful, it's because if i did say anything it would be something rash and angry and i'd regret it - so i end up just laughing along with them and then going away and grinding my teeth...

I'm going to go now and make fudge. it's very therapeutic

MrsMcJnr · 22/03/2007 16:44

oh can I have a bit? People are just making conversation I guess. I'm sure I've made insensitive comments like that in the past without thinking, never again though.

gillian1973 · 22/03/2007 16:48

Enjoy the fudge Peanutbutter!

I have one more year left on my contract and today a collegue was asking about my future plans. I said I was keen to see my contract out but was also keeping an eye out just in case the perfect job came up. She asked if I was planning to take some time off to try again after my mc. I wasn't angry, I was shocked that she thought I couldn't do both work and TTC at the same time and that she thought it was so easy to make it happen. I told her that trying again was the only cure for the pain after a mc and that it was all work in progress!

Honestly!

becklespeckle · 22/03/2007 17:00

Ooh, people can be so insensitive can't they?! I have had a few people hinting at me that I might be pg lately (fat chance), little comments accompanied by significant looks as if to say - "you must be pg again by now" (be careful, you wouldn't want to hurt...anything / well you take care of yourself now). People do think it is just that simple but I don't want everyone I know to know that my body is not working properly at the moment.
Even close friends can try to be comforting and just not get it, but at least they are trying. One friend said she thought I must have been having another boy, her reasoning was my Mum (who died just before I m/c'd) knew I would have liked a girl and so took him away! grrr... am sure she thought she was being comforting but although for me a girl would be the icing on the cake, I would be happy with just the cake.

jules99 · 22/03/2007 19:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gillian1973 · 22/03/2007 21:20

beckle I am at what your friend said. Not only did you have to deal with the loss of your mum but also a baby. If her words were intended to offer any comfort I think she fell well short. How insensitive could she get?!!!!

Jules, I am sorry to hear everything is so confusing and upsetting at the moment. Could you have conceived again? Another pregnancy would be wonderful (are they 100% sure it is not another but too early to show in the womb?) but if it is a suspected ep then it is best to have it seen too sooner rather than later. I cannot talk from experience though. ((((HUGS)))) to you.