TTC after miscarriage- March 2007

[duchesse]

Sorry, guys, can't leave a redirect at the old one- it's not accepting new messages. I hope nobody's already set a new one up...

Oh poor Jess, I'm so sorry to hear you've been poorly. Glad you are feeling a bit better {{{{hugs}}}}

FMN - yes, thanks for asking. BFN. Have posted a potted history on another thread hoping to get some more advice and hear any success stories...

AF has arrived. Feeling very depressed now. I'm going to go to my GP for advice because to be honest I'm under so much stress at work I really don't think this is a good time for me to be TTC.
So good luck to you all ladies, hope to see you all on the pregnancy after miscarriage thread soon..

Hello to all of you. I haven't had time to read through all of the posts but I@m so sorry you're all suffering and/ or struggling. Hope nobody minds me joining in. I have had 2 MCs very recently (Oct and then last week) and we have decided to ttc again straight away. I'm finding it very stressful though! I'm going to see my GP tomorrow but I doubt they will say/ do anything- both MCs happened at around 6 weeks so I'm hoping there's no physical reason and just plain bad luck.

I know you're supposed to wait at least one cycle before trying again but I don;t know if I can bear it...

ON the plus side, it seems that we can get pg quite easily (had history of endometriosis but have now been pg 3 times) and I know I can have a successful pg because I have my gorgeous 3yo dd!

Afternoon all.

Hayls - hello ! sorry you're here and to hear about both your m/c. Am pleased you're sounding positive. I hope your doctor can help or give you some comfort.

Catbaby - so sorry to hear AF has arrived. It sounded so hopeful - I can imagine how gutted you must be feeling.

Jess - hope you're feeling better !

Feedmenow & MrsMCJ - sorry to hear (gosh this post is getting a bit repetitive but I am truly sorry to hear everyone's news) you're both feeling down. FMN - I think being pre-menstrual now is just sooo bad, not only are your hormones making you feel like sh*t but you know another month has gone by without bfp. For some reason people always choose my pre-menstrual time to tell me they are pg too. MrsMc, its still such early days for you - I can remember going out to things shortly after m/c and just bursting into tears at inappropriate moments. I hope you and your dh have had a chance to clear the air. I think it is very hard for DH's - they prop us up as we're going through the physical/hormonal stuff but they have 'lost' too. This week, on my due date my dh sent me a lovely bunch of flowers and I didn't think to get him anything (well I was out at a craft fair thingy and did buy him some chocs but htink I would have done that anyway to assuage my guilt at what I was spending on me .
But anyway, I am feeling much better this weekend so just shows you can survive your 'due date' not that I hope any of you get that far if you haven't already.

Hello everyone else - Hope you're all doing ok at the moment or as well as can be expected...

DH is finishing the decorating - DD's room is almost done - hurrah ! Just have to buy the furniture now and then move on to t he next room... sigh....

hello everyone, thanks for the kind words - they do help; they're like a hug in RL.

Sunshinedays thank you for your post I snuggled up to DH on the couch last night after I posted and felt much better. Today was always going to be hard and I?m quite glad I spent it alone. DH was at the football and his team won the cup so he?s out celebrating with his mates tonight. I?m really pleased for him, I think a blow out is just what he needs. I hope you are ok, sorry to hear you are feeling low.

Glimmer ? I think so, they just don?t know what to say (and my Mum just says totally the wrong thing!) I know what you mean about blocking the world out, I?ve been doing that too. Hope you are feeling better today.

Hello Feedmenow sorry to hear you were feeling so sad, I really know what you mean. I keep thinking of the milestones too. I tippexed out the weeks in my diary that I?d written in but I can still see them (would have been 11 weeks today). Sending you hugs and hope you fall really soon.

Catbabymummy so sorry to hear about AF, we were all so hopeful for you. Sorry to hear about the stress at work, want to talk about it? I have a stressful job too and sometimes it helps to talk about it I find. Glad the migraine?s gone.

Kensgirl ? thank you for sharing that, I can already feel a new awareness between us that comes from sharing something, I?m glad it?s that way and not apart as it is for some. It is cathartic being on here and talking to you all, I don?t know what I would do without it. Funny isn?t it how things hit you, I was hovering this morning, just thinking and I suddenly realised that I had fallen in love with my baby just by knowing she was there and that really I had lost someone I loved and that?s why it hurts so much.

Jess ? I?ve posted for you on the temp thread but I just wanted to say again how sorry I am that this is happening to you please make sue they keep on checking you until you know you are clear. Sending hugs x

Hayls ? welcome! I am really sorry to hear about your MCs, you must be feeling so rotten. I just can?t imagine how much harder it must be to be hit more than once. We were told by the EPU that there was no harm in trying immediately as long as the bleeding has stopped (risk of infection otherwise apparently). I really hope you fall again soon

Wheelybug ? PMSL I said ?gosh? the other day and DH teased me for hours, so glad others still say it too! That was sweet of your DH to send you flowers. Glad to hear you are feeling better

So glad they help Peanutbutter

Good morning...

MrsMcJnr - I think a lot of people just don't know what to say. I found my family were quite happy to talk about my m/c if I raised them, but never raised them themselves. It's unfortunate, because, as you say, you end up feeling isolated.

Catbabymummy - sorry to hear about your af. Good idea to go see the doctor. I can't remember, but do you work in the NHS or something similar? Have a recollection of you mentioning working in a lab. If so, I'm not surprised you're stressed...

Morning, have had a chance to read through some of the posts now and really hope you are all ok.
GP said it was an unfortunate coincidence it happened twice in a row and said next time she saw me I'd be pg. Not sure I'm convinced it'll happen but at least I know there shouldn't be any reason for it happening.
THank you for making me feel welcome. I've been using MN since pg with DD, now 3, and have never been a prolific poster but at times like these I'm so glad it's here! I can't/ won't talk to people about it in RL so it's good to have this outlet. ATM I'm not really thinking about what's happened because it's so raw- whenever I think about it my heart sinks so I just stop- but I know the time will come when I have to. DH was much more affected this time as well, which is strange, think he'd assumed (like me I suppose) that lightning doesn't strike twice.

Still convinced not to wait one cylce befoer trying again so we're just going for it. NO idea when/if I'll ovulate but never mind. We're going on holiday on Friday and GP has signed me off till then so at least I'll have a couple of weeks rest

Sorry for the essay that was meant to be a a few lines to thank you for welcoming me!

Welcome Hayls, sorry to hear you've had a tough time , I also find MN a great place to talk, people in RL often feel uncomfortable talking about miscarriage so it is good to have an outlet! How did appt with GP go today?

ah, just re-read your last post Hayls. Glad your GP seems positive, am sure she is right!

Just want to give a massive hug to cat ((hug))

Sorry to see lots of new faces on here xxx

Good to see all is well in Ozzie land tho Uki! Where abouts are you from btw?? got a good friend in Adelaide and many friends up the east coast :D

Feeling very sh1t about things atm, keep feeling like bawling my eyes out which is moste definitely NOT like me.
Sick of seeing bumps and newborns everywhere , of mates getting pregnant "by accident" when its nearly a year in and I cant

Ignore me... having one of those days......

think AF is on her way - maybe she heard me moaning? only a tiny bit but had it on/off for 2 weeks before heavy stuff last time. would you say today was CD1 or when the heavy stuff comes, have got to have a CD1/2 blood test and don't want to do it on the wrong day IYSWIM

Beck - think CD1 is first day of red blood. Are you sure its day 1-2 you need the blood test, the one I'm havng has to be day 2-5, which gives you more chance of being sure, but it might be for a different thing ?!

sorry things are hard for you at the mo minx - we all have times like that (actually seems like most of the time here too..).

hope you're not all snowed in ! Nothing here...

thanks for advice Wheelybug, had red blood on and off for 2 weeks last time before heavy started and for 1 week the time before. Definately day 1-2 - testing levels of LH, FSH, estrogen, progesterone and testosterone. Last time was tested on day 21 for all of the above plus prolactin as well but the consultant said that the docs told me the wrong day to test. I might go get a test tomorrow and then see if can get another form and have another when it starts up heavily. what are you being tested for?

Being tested for the same things Beckle... but was told CD2-5. also being tested on CD 21 for something else (progesterone I think).

Wheely - just checked the blood test form and it says day 1-3. starting to redden a bit now so I might go get the test on Weds if it keeps up. I think you may be right about progesterone test on CD21, it will show whether you have ovulated or not. My day 21 test showed I hadn't.

Hello everyone, hope you are all okay. Thanks for your hugs and kind words. I've got an appointment with the GP for thursday morning to talk about the constant nausea and migraines, and I had a word with my boss too.
I work in the Waste Management industry, we recycle hazardous waste into a fuel. Basically at a crisis at work due to understaffing, and over work plus lots of issues to do with control (or lack therof!) of inputs versus outputs to site, and am under a lot of pressure as although I'm the lab manager, I effectively run the site. My boss is the manager for my site and two others but is based on of the others, and the person who normally runs the operations on site is on long term sick due to suffering a heart attack probably brought on by stress! I've had a new guy start this week and another new person starting next week so really busydoing training, plus major computer issues the week before meant we have a huge backlog of data put on the computers and I've got the brunt of it! So no wonder I'm so stressed!!! I've been working 10 hour days, plus getting phone calls when I'm away from work, due to the nature of the site i'm bascially on 24-7 call out for emergencies (happily most have been minor ones dealt with over the phone!) but have had to work some saturdays to try to keep on top of my workload. Once I get my new people trained up, things will get much easier, but until then it is really hard.
I'm sure I'm not alone in having horribly stressful and busy job, how do you cope?

Thanks Mumpbump, I know you are right

Hayls ? I?m sure a break will do you both lots of good good luck with TTC again; I know what you mean about not having a clue what is going on, it?s really frustrating.

Sending hugs to you Minx.

Wheelybug and Becklespeckle ? hope the tests come back with good results.

Catbabymummy ? glad you have a GP appointment; I hope they can get to the bottom of it. Just a thought but it?s not related to the hazardous waste is it? I know very little about these things so ignore me if that is silly it does sound like things are very stressful at work but I am glad that you?ve got a plan in sight with the new starts. This sounds very selfish and a year ago I wouldn?t believe I?d said it but priorities change and at the end of the day, if you are an employee, it is not ultimately your problem and if you need to cut hours to get your life back on track, that?s what you need to do, it might not go down well with the company but what choice do you have? My migraines were at their very worst when I was under severe stress in a previous job. This might not be helpful but do try and take back a bit of your own time.

MrsMc - thanks for your concern, you are not being silly. I had to have a risk assessment done when I fell pregnant which was to ensure that my way of working had to change to avoid contact with harmful substances. As to cutting down my hours, it is not an option. Due to the nature of our waste management licence I'm legally obliged to be on site for 40% of the operational hours because of a particular qualification (which no-one apart from my sick colleague in the company has). Happily we are in the process of applying for a new type of WML which means that the qualification will no longer be needed, but until that happens and my colleague comes back I'm a bit stuck. We did have a 3rd colleague with the same qualification, but he left quite recently. And the nature of the qualification means that very few people have it as it is very specific and you can only get the qualification by working on a site such as mine. However, I will be taking my holidays.... It's a completely stupid situation but that's the EA for you!
Whoops sorry, I think I'm hijacking the thread here, sorry!
Good luck to all you waiting for the test results or coming up to possible BFPS!!!

hello everyone. Well, the bleeding's stopped, which was a relief on one hand but brought its own sadness as well. I went to the family planning clinic last night as i'd intended and had the clinic nurse tell me briskly:

this happens to lots of women, a lot would probably think it was just a heavy period, you've already conceived twice and delivered a healthy baby so you can do it again, you could have lots more miscarriages after this one, nobody's going to do anything about a miscarriage at 6 weeks....

Fortunately i'd prepared for the possibility of this tho my heart still sank when it was the nurse who called my name rather than the lovely female doctor who jointly runs the clninic. So I had a few calm and reasonable responses ready along the lines of me not anticipating or even wanting anything done - merely it being recorded in my notes, and as we've been ttc for several months i was acutely aware of exactly where i was in my cycle, and that this was a very much wanted second baby...

It would have been nice just to have a "what a disappointment - how do you feel?"

Anyway. Sorry to hear those of you who are struggling with work-related stress on top of your own sadness. Gillian1973 have you had the reflexology session yet? When does your work colleague start her maternity leave - that will hopefully make your work environment a little easier to bear.

Good luck to those having tests done - hope they come back with good results.

Oh peanutbutter, they can be very cold about it all can't they? Some of these nurses/doctors/consultants don't seem to see that we are real people with emotions, thoughts and feelings do they?
AF is definitely here, went for blood test today although am assuming I won't get the results until July when I see the consultant. It seems fairly ordinary one so far which is good, hopefully hormones are finally starting to settle down a bit.

That kind of thing makes me so cross & sad, Peanut. People just don't seem to realise that having made so many lifestyle & diet changes, you don't just get pg and carry on as if you're a "normal" woman....you carry on as if you have made a conscious decision to try for a baby and all your best efforts have paid off cos you're pg, and you're going to carry on doing everything you possibly can to make it go right! No matter whether you are 4weeks pg, or 8weeks or whatever, you were still pg and it was STILL a BABY to you. Bloody bastards.....

yes i know - it did leave me feeling glum but i'd prepared myself for that reaction so at least i wasn't left getting upset and doing the "i should have said....wish I'd said....." for the rest of the evening. You're so right feedmenow - when the nurse said about lots of women taking it to be a very heavy period, I replied that I wasn't one of those women - and went on to (patiently) explain about it being a much wanted and tried-for baby etc etc and that for a week i'd been pregnant and it had been wonderful.

becklespeckle - yes let's hope things are settling down for you and you can at least start getting to grips with your cycle again.

Peanutbutter - that is a terrible attitude for the nurse to have. Grrrr... it makes me so cross - a little sympathy doesn't take much even for someone who is busy and 'seen it all before'. Try not to take it to heart Peanutbutter - we all know it matters.

Peanutbutter, I'm so sorry you had a bad experience with the nurse. Sometimes the public in general are lost for words or even worse say the most inappropiate things when told about a miscarriage; but you would have thought that a medical professional would have handled it better.