TTC after miscarriage- March 2007

[duchesse]

Sorry, guys, can't leave a redirect at the old one- it's not accepting new messages. I hope nobody's already set a new one up...

Hi ladies, MrsMc how come you know so much about the body - I am an anatomist and am put to shame by your knowledge - we could start MrsMc doctors corner where we tell you what is going on and you help us work it out. I am the same as basil - hate the fact that all these symptoms similar to PG. No CM at all [grrr]feel like am going mad as can't tell DH or anyone except you lot that feels like am PG (and that I sometimes believe it must be so) as it would be such a massive crash when AF arrives. I just want my body back to normal - and the cramps are annoying cos they interupt your thoughts saying "I'm here..are you PG??" and then I am in a state for a few mins afterwards thinkng AM I? AREN'T i?
it is official - i am now CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!! (aah ahhh ahhh - this is my basil brush impression - have my head thrown back and am boom booming on the keyboard)
p.s. where is the symbol for mad as a snake (as in "I feel", "you are" "lets be")

oh b*gger ar$e I have just been writing a huge email to everyone, and lost it all. I can't believe it.... will try again
but this one may be briefer in my comments.

Herbaceous - welcome, what a horrid time you've had. Wishing you lots of strength.

Torres - what a lovely evening, how great of your dh and the hotel. Make sure you take them up on the offer. LOL at Noel Edmonds. The thought of Noel always makes me laugh since my dh's grandfather told everyone in his old people's home that Noel was my dh's cousin's new boyfriend because she had a photo of them together (she works on deal or no deal). What a thought !

Beckle - not trying to get your hopes up but I too had dry mouth and cramps when pg. How many dpo are you now ?

Popsy - sorry you've been on the receiving end of insensitive comments. grr grr grr. Have a big (hug). Hope your AF (or a BFP) arrives soon. I DO know someone who conceived using withdrawal method and thought she couldn't. Her ds is now almost 3.

welcome back alittlebitshy - glad AF is looming ugly head. Hope it helps you move on.

KatyH - don't worry about your thoughts on the marbella thing. sounds horrendous - am sure we'd all have thought the same if we'd seen it !! Hope you enjoyed the chablis.

Basilbrush - menstruation vibes to you - how long since your m/c now ?

MrsMc - Glad you're taking some time off. I hope you find the motivation to write your report. and at your regular delivery of chocolate. I am going to have to take a look at this stuff. What do you all recommend ?? The poem made me blub lots too (and I started reading it thinking 'I won't cry, I am hard'). will take a look at that book. Sounds good.

well I am sitting here smelling gorgeous. Have had my trip to Jo Malone. I don't know whether i said before but a friend works there so she gave us hand massages and also used her discount for us which I didn't realise was 50% until I got home and looked at the receipt (she had to pay for it to use her discount so I hadn't seen the total before then). What a lovely friend... I bought some cologne and got some freebie bits too. Day slightly marred by the fact dd woke up vomitting this morning and its the first time she's ever been sick. Since I got home she's been eating like a horse so think she is over the worst (in fact she keeps asking for chocolate which I don't think is a good idea) and she's now asking for her friends.

Right off to peruse the hotel chocolat website...

Wow you've been chatty since I was last on here! Not got time to reply to you all as got to go to work soon but MrsMc - that poem made me cry! It's lovely (sniffing again just thinking about it).
I would guess I am now 12 dpo but that is only an estimate from the stickiest CM day. Cramps all gone now. Boobies a bit sore and put on a few pounds (without actually getting any bigger IYKWIM)but these are both things that always happen in the couple of days before AF. I am trying not to get excited because it could be either thing. CM darker cream (TMI)today too so thats probably not a good sign!
I too saw that programme last night and was swearing about the woman - then felt guilt when she lost the baby, and she looked genuinely upset I thought.
Anyway, must go or there will be no dinner for DH when he gets in and I will be late! Hopefully have time for a better catch up tomorrow x

Hello all , it seems to have been a busy day on this thread. I will definitely taking up the hotel's offer- I'm not one to turn down a freebie!

basilbrush sorry to hear of all those symptoms, it's such a confusing time isn't it. Hope you get an answer one way or the other soon to preserve your sanity.

MrsMc thanks for sharing that poem, it's sad but it did give me hope for the future. Glad to hear you're at home and work haven't deluged you with urgent stuff. I am very jealous about the chocolate delivery, I didn't even know it was possible. I will be investigating too- your friends are very lucky to be invited to dinner at your house! and I am very very impressed you have a backlog- what willpower! Like the idea of a higher force telling me to have fun rather than exercise- could become a regular excuse!

popsy am still laughing at imagining your basil brush impression! you may think you're officialy crazy but at least you are funny with it!

wheely your day sounds fab (apart from dd being poorly). Can you lend your friend out?!! PMSL about your Noel Edmonds 'connection'! I can just imagine the folks in the home chattering away about what a lovely boyfriend he makes!

beckle ooh it does sound positive- have everything crossed for you

Not been around much but just did something really stupid and thought this would be the best place for a bit of sympathy & understanding. Just looked thru threads posted on in the last 15 mins and saw the August ante-natal thread (I used to be there...) They are all listing whether they are having a boy or girl or if they are going for the surprise. I can't believe they are already at that stage. I can't believe I should have been there. I know it was a stupid thread to look on. I know I can't change what happened. But it still really hurts, and I think I feel all better but then I see something like that and just feel devastated all over again.

Hi Gilly - glad you've got the counselling sorted out, hope it helps. Sorry to hear its CD1... Good luck for this month.

Feedmenow - I used to torture myself with the due in March thread every now and then. Its impossible not to look but its so hard thinking 'that should be me'. Sympathies and hugs.

Oh sweetheart, I can imagine how tough that must have been. It's the constant reminders of where you should have been that are the hardest, they really do hit you when you least expect it. Hope you're okay

Hello all, am exhausted! Been a long day today, did a lot of walking and was out of the house nearly all day. Am very stiff from the walking - some of it was very fast and my thighs and butt are a bit achy this evening! Also was on a till all night at work which always makes my back and shoulders hurt. Doesn't help that I decided to lean on a trolley and ride it across the carpark - it tipped up leaving me with grazed hands and knees and sore elbows!!! Daft cow!
Herbaceous - sounds like you have had a really tough time hun. With my first pg I had a routine scan at 15 1/2 weeks which showed my baby's heartbeat had stopped at 12-13 weeks and they said there were some signs of Down's Syndrome on the foetus. They tested it but it came back with nothing wrong. On the one hand it was a relief there was nothing genetically wrong but on the other it meant I didn't have a reason. Waiting for diagnosis is horrible but fingers crossed for your Karotyping results - when will you get them?
Popsy Oooh, cramps and bloating for you too! It is possible to get pg with withdrawal method, it's none too reliable. ROFL at your swimming! I am a completely rubbish swimmer and usually end up swallowing half the pool, last time I went the lifeguard was starting to look quite worried as I kept choking!
MrsMcJnr Shop uniforms are awful aren't they! My firm don't do women's trousers long enough for me (am quite short but have long legs) so they gave me men's ones. Unfortunately when you sit down in them there is a bit that bulges (a lot) where a blokes bits would go in them! And the sleeves of the shirts aren't long enough either. I quite like shelf stacking too - I like lining things up, I am definitely a little OCD at times. Anyway, hope you had a lovely dinner with your friend and didn't let your work hang over you too much.
ALittleBitShy Hello! hope you enjoyed the last few days of DD's hols, mine went back Tuesday. Shopping sounds good, did you get some outfits??? Tell us!
KatyH Thanks for saying DS2 sounds cute - he is! Both of DSs are (obviously ) but DS2 is very outgoing and does make sure he stands out in a crowd! Sorry to hear your AF has arrived but I hope you enjoyed your wine!
Torres Hope your AF turns up soon, is horrible waiting for her, esp when you have no idea when she will arrive! She took 55 days to come after last m/c but for some people she comes much sooner. Glad you are taking up the hotel offer (you lucky thing!) - hope you have a fab time!
BasilBrush I don't think you are the only one who spends a lot of time examining what comes out of their hoo-ha! (am guilty of that too...) Trouble is for me that cos my cycle is usually very long and my AF symptoms include all the same symptoms I get when first pg (sore boobs (too sore to wear a bra one day last cycle!), bloating, slight weight gain, spots, tiredness) I convince myself everytime I am pg and am gutted when AF arrives. This is why I am trying not to get too excited this time, shorter cycle but AF signs all here, just have to wait and see now.
Wheelybug poor DD! Hope she is okay now - DS2 had his first sicky thing earlier this year and he was quite upset by it as he'd never been sick before. Glad you had a lovely day though - sounds really relaxing!
GillyDaffodil Is good that you have got an appt with the counsellors, I think it will do you the world of good. I find that new pg anouncements are the hardest thing to deal with at the mo because it is taking me so long to conceive again. I want very much to be pg again but am also very scared about having another m/c. Grr that your AF is here, hopefully you'll have better luck this cycle.
Feedmenow Don't be too hard on yourself for looking on the ante-natal thread - it is the sort of thing that most of us do at one time or another although I'm not sure how much good it does us. It will be your turn soon and hopefully next time it will go smoothly (for all of us). I just think it is a shame that for some people the joy of being pg is tainted by the worry of m/c but I think it makes us stronger in the long run.
Right, off to bed now!

Morning Girls! God had a shocker of a day yesterday. Spent afternoon counselling students (thoiught they would just pop in and say "I'm fine thanks" but OH NO hours and hours of moans and groans etc etc....
Went on to a staff leaving party and a colleague started shouting (he is Kenyan and does that kind of think in a loving way) at me that he had not seen me for ages and did not forgive me for disappearing with no word. I quietly tried to shut him up but he was in full flow and I just ran out in tears. Took a while to pull myself together (i did tell him in the end and his wfie has had one too - is there anyone out there not touched by MC?) but then went on to another drinks do - was SO PROUD of myself - only had one drink and then went home about 7pm but was so pleased to have pulled myself together. I really did it for DH as I think he is worried about me and wanted me to go out and get wrecked (like the old popsy ).
Had a much better nights sleep last night (changed the sheets - it always helps doesn't it?) and had dreams about getting AF. Did have yellowy red CM this morning (egg whites?) - think is that colour becuase of the ERPC and disinfectant (was all over my thighs when I woke up?). Anyway - this either means AF coming (as was a bit red) or am OV which means AF is coming in a few weeks hooray!!!!!!!!
MrsMc once you get hotel choc you just can't stop can you - they really do some amazing things though my fav is still the slab as can just gorge and gorge yum. We got sent a huge box by friends recently - went down much better than flowers!
Beckle and Basil so good to hear others talking about symptoms and messed up head - it is impossible not to fret over it all - was thinking would be a strange woman who managed to ignore it all after what we have been through wouldn't it?
feedmenow poor you - god that is one door i cannot open as know would send me over the edge - if i ever start thinking about what stage I would be at now or the what if the scan had been okay...ughhhh is so hard! I hate thinking it was all down to chance and the chips just didn't come down on my side this time - teaches you something about the fragility of life doesn't it - we should all be out there seizing the day ha ha - shame i just feel like hiding away at home most of the time .
Wheely I often lose my typing when get interupted but if you just click on go back it is sometimes there? I always then think I'll re do it but shorter but can seem to keep the postings short ...sorry ladies
Gilly Hi hon - how is it going in the toon? I lived in Elswick then Jesmond and Mum just moved back to westagte hill as Jesmond now full of students and stag dos. We went to Jesmond Dene hotel at Easter - was AMAZING! When I next come back up I'll give you a bell and we can have some chablis on the lawn . I spent alot of my youth at pets corner - I now take my nephew there and feel old ha ha
anyway better get back to work - hope you all have a good day - I'll be back online in an hour or so with next I'm not PG "incident" to cheer you all up
Maybe I'll get a T-shirt made up to advertise my situation and stop the comments?
p.s. I agree that we are all tainted by the MC - we can no longer be those people who sail thru and enjoy the experience hmmm but I'll have you lot to keep me sane so everyone in RL will think I'm coping admirably
p.p.s. I hope we all get PG at same time cos I'll miss you all

Hi, if you dont mind me asking, id just like to ask everyone, how long was it before you got your period following your MC? How long did you wait before ttc again?
Natalie x

missnatalie - I think I was about 6 weeks until AF arrived after a natural m/c. We didn't NOT try during that time but we weren't trying properly until after AF.

Popsy - Well done on your evenings out yesterday - you did well ! Agree that so many people have been touched by m/c but I don't think you realise it until you're in the club too ! I shockingly didn't notice how many posts there were on MN about people m/c and now I see them all the time. Thats so lovely about hoping we all conceive at the same time - I know what you mean.

Beckle - hope you're not too stiff this morning.

Hello to everyone else - aven't heard from Peanutbutter for a while , are you ok ?

Just had an impromptu coffee with a very good friend who has just moved near me and although she is single she works shifts so is often around which is great but she shared news of a friend of hers who I sort of know who is now expecting no. 2 - well she's fertile and married of course she is !!

I feel quite guilty though because my friend (who is one of my closest friends, is dd's godmother) doesn't know about our m/c or that we're struggling to conceive again. I didn't really tell anyone when it happened and have now told loads and I would tell her if she asked something but it just hasn't come up and I know she'd like to know. Sigh...

Gilly - definitely make a list I'd say. There's nothing worse than coming out of appointments for things, thinking you've forgotten to mention something you wanted to.

You don't have to follow the list if it takes another direction but at least you'd have it IYSWIM.

Gilly I would definitely make a list (I do that when I see my HV so I dont forget stuff) Even if you dont refer to it, it may help you think about what you want to say.

MrsMc Lovely poem - tears for me too! Hope your sort-of days off helped!

Popsy I am also amazed at how many people have had a mc. One of my closest friends hadn't told me but she also had a mmc when her DD was 10 months. But they soon fell pg with DD2 so there is hope!

Feedme I scab picked the other night. I was on my May 2006 babies thread and one of the other women got a BFP the same time as me but had only got announced it. So I wallowed in red wine, self pity and sobbed looking at the Due October 2007 thread...

Well for me Auntie Flo started yesterday. The first one since my D&C or ERPC or whatever you call it 3.5 weeks ago. Feeling quite chuffed that we can start trying again in a couple of weeks.

Hi to everyone. Sounds like a few of us are Auntie Flo-ing at the mo!

Right I am off to try to find out what CD and CM mean so I can join in a bit more!!

Morning all! Not stiff at all this morning thanks Wheelybug! (thankfully) Hands still feeling a little tender where I grazed them last night though. AF not here yet for me so was very very naughty and did a test this morning. I was going to wait until Sunday as that is when I think I am actually due but I had an appt to look at a dodgy mole today and I was worried in case they wanted to remove it (which they do) and I was pg - don't know how local anaesthetic is with pg. Anyway - nothing showed up immediately, control line and that was it - checked it a couple of mins later and there was the faintest of faint lines - same thickness as the control line but faint. Obviously I know I was quite early to test but am glad I did now! It was only a cheap ebay test and I did another one at lunch time with the same very faint line - am trying not to get my hopes up too high but the second line definitely appeared within 2-3 minutes and I don't usually get any lines other than the control line on these cheap ones. I am now going to sit tight until Saturday or Sunday when I will test again, it should be darker by then if I am pg (if not, judging by boobs, AF will be here). Also I have a touch of Thrush (sorry TMI ) which I had when first pg with both DSs (but not with m/cs). I told specialist today I thought I might be pg so he said he would wait a few weeks, check mole again but prob not remove it until 2nd trimester. He said it does not look cancerous but also does not look quite right. Please don't congratulate me yet though, I don't want to jinx this when I have waited for so long!
Wheelybug is hard when you have a close friend who you want to share with but don't know how to bring it up, I think she would be touched that you wanted to tell her and it would give you someone to talk about it all with. I would be lost without my RL and MN friends to talk to, DH's listening and advice just don't compare!
Popsy like the t-shirt idea! I bought a couple of smock type tops the other day and my friend who served me looked at me a bit funny - I said "no I am not pg, I just like them, and they are fashionable at the mo". Felt good to be so blunt - get fed up with the "looks" from people!
Gilly I would definitely make a list - that way you won't forget anything. Also, in the office of a counsellor your feelings may not feel as sharp as they do at home so your list would help you with that too.
Missnatalie - first AF was exactly 3 months after first m/c and 55 days after second one but then my cycles have always been long and everyone is different. On the plus side 1st m/c gave me a regular 28 day cycle (only time ever) and it only took 3 months to conceive DS1. I started trying after first AF after both m/c although was not always strictly careful!
Winkygirl your name always makes me think of Winky the house elf in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire! (sorry, am a bit of a fan...) Glad your AF here so you can get back on the TTC wagon! Really made me feel I was moving forward once I could start trying again. Oh and CD is cycle day (CD1 being first day of AF) and CM is cervical mucous (ie the gunk that comes out of your hoo-ha! - love that phrase BasilBrush, you do make me giggle!)

Hi beckle good tentative news - my test was really faint line first time and then mega clear 2 days later as hormone levels double everyday so won't be long until you know for sure. I am of course crossing eyes, toes and fingers for you in a non-expectant way

I am having an okay day - am getting more blunt and just using humour to get through talking to people - they probably hate my TMI approach but sod it

Also wrote email to PG friend about getting together with girls and was open and hopefully funny about my current predicament - lets see how she took it (must be better than my avoidance tactics ha ha

Laters ladeeeeeeeeeez

Hello everyone. It's been great to catch up with so many messages. You all seem so energetic at the moment. I'm at work and finding it really hard to concentrate. Luckily I have my own office so I can slack off when necessary. But day by day, I feel more normal IYKWIM. I'm sorry I haven't been in touch much, but I think I am still a little raw and don't want to bring you all down. But I'm very excited for beckle. Tell us as soon as you know. I hope you don't mind me asking, but how long has it been since your m/c? When I told me mum last week about my m/c she began to talk about hers over 30 years ago. I knew that she had had one, but I didn't realise that it was with twins. She conceived us right after. She says she still thinks about the other twins but knows that we wouldn't have been if they hadn't been first. It's morbid in a way, but I know what she means and many women who have given birth after a m/c say the same thing. It's as though all our babies are in league with each other and have a plan (though the rational me knows that can't be true). I know we've all said it before, but isn't it amazing just how many women have had a m/c? I haven't mentioned it to a single person - male or female - who hasn't said that they or their wife/sister/friend/daughter etc.. had one or more too.

That poem made me cry too. It's lovely and sunny here today: I hope it is where you all are too.

I am trying not to get too hopeful Popsy cos I will be soooo disappointed if I'm not - just needed to talk about it, don't dare mention it to any RL friends. Glad you having an okay day today, they will get more regular for you. It is great you can make jokes and your attitude is good but please make sure you don't cover up your hurt too much with humor. It is hard though when people expect you to be over it/pg again and you are not - really it's none of their business is it?!
Hi Patkica please don't stay away because you think you will bring us down, we have all been through it and are all here to listen, these ladies here have really helped me pick myself up over the last couple of months, I wish I had found MN months ago. I don't mind you asking hun, ask anything you like. I found out I was m/c early last August, I was 11 weeks but when they scanned me baby had stopped at 5. They sent me away to wait for ERPC but lots came away in the meantime so they didn't do the op but it wasn't complete so ended up having it at beginning of October anyway. Cycle has been horrid since too. IKWYM about lots of people having m/c, out of my closest friends, all but 2 have had one at some point. I like your theory about the babies being in league with each other, I think life does have a definite plan even if it is sometimes hard - if I had not m/c my first, I would not have DS1 (who was conceived just before lost baby's due date).

ooh ooh.. sits on hands trying not to get excited for you Beckle. Seriously though sounds like you are doing the right think - not believing it till you see it for definite. I will keep everything crossed for you (which will make me look a bit strange).

Hello Patkica. Please don't think you're going to bring us down, that is what we are here for and we all have bad days and its pretty recent for you so you're bound to be more down than up.

Popsy - glad your day is going ok

hello Winkygirl - glad AF has arrived and you didn't have to wait too long for it ! Good luck for ttc now !!

oops sorry Popsy - I didn't mean not to enbolden your name.... popsy popsy popsy - there, thats better...

Morning ladies and a special hello to wheely tee hee Had a bit of a crap day actually yesterday - still way too much work stress - think is just am not on top form so stuff i would usually ignore is really annoying/stressing me out. Had a good chat with my boss though - she has been amazing - am sure this is cos she has been thru it too?
Enforced Dh on a walk last night as was so wound up when got home. Ended up having a lovely (read boozy) evening - just like the old days - am starting to know what he meant when he said he wanted to get back to normal - it has just taken me longer to realise this doesn't mean not have a baby but just get over this totally depressed and disappointed stage - am actually happy for 50% of the time which is a massive improvement!. Got friends coming over this weekend - have organised a long walk ending at a beer festival - ha ha maybe I am getting better! Still writing a journal everyday to get stuff off my chest and seems to help me stay sane(ish)
Hope you are all having a good morning and are looking forward to the weekend
torres my love - did you meet your friend last night? I have been for another swim this morning (get me!!) - were testosterone types splashing around like mad things and trying to do butterfly - they might as well have just flashed their dicks to us all IYKWIM - was annoying but gave me and this woman in my lane something to chuckle about!
beckle you are v. sensible lady - sending big hugs! I think am ov due to hoo hah stuff (and sex obsession) but still have a tiny rasin of hope that is early PG signs..ho hum

Hello girls

To answer your question re karyotyping, I had it done a while ago, and it showed no problems.

As for pregnancy symptoms, GAH. For the last week my boobs have been so sore it hurts to walk, I've been having cramps (so bad I thought AF had come) and last night got that weird hungover feeling with metal mouth, etc. I was terrified, as it's only four weeks since my m/c and didn't want to pregnant again so quickly.

So... I did a test this morning, bracing myself for a positive and all that would mean - more doctors' appointments, stress, etc - and the buggering thing was negative. So now, being a loon, I'm all disappointed. And, being a loon, wonder if it was too early - 28 days after m/c - to detect a whole lot. The main symptoms - enormo-boobs - being caused by progesterone not hgc. Or am I talking through my bot-hole.