Let's get this shaggathon on the road! We are breaking out the buzzy friends, lubeing up our fanjo's and prepping the men! Let's make a baby the old fashioned way! It's only f**king JS'ing 63!

[jellypi3]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
   
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
   
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
   
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
   
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.
   

JSing lingo
~~~~~~~~~

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a Kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into TTC obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing a Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 62 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is HERE

Recent research PROVING WE ARE RIGHT is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

[honeysucklejasmine]

Oh, i am all nostalgic now!

Honey
30
DD aged 14 months and currently crying at her dad. 15 weeks with dc#2.

Just so pleased things are moving forward for you.

Jelly good luck with the shag when ILs are out.

Choo love the new name.

[Justwaitingforaline]

I figure JS is the way to go, I can't believe how wrapped up I got pissing on OPK's and knicker checking I was last month....only perk was how horny I got when I got a positive OPK

[JessKM]

justwaiting 3 sessions in a day!

[Justwaitingforaline]

Jess needs must! I'm enjoying it so much more this month because there isn't the pressure. If it happens, it happens, if it doesn't, at least I've had some very good sex and haven't tried to do handstands afterwards!

[Flashinthepan]

Eurgh, AF finally arrived. Boobs still hurt though which seems a bit unfair.

So onto cycle 6. No shagging for me until next week but I admit I love a daytime one. Usually at a weekend, after a late morning shower. Perks of not having kids I suppose!

[choochooo]

Struggling mentally today. Swinging between wanting to scream and cry and wanting to kill people. Not good. It's definitely dawning on me that baby is gone.

[Hobbit19]

Ah choochoo, scream and cry if you need to. You've been through so much. Focus on you DS to help you through. All the love.

Jelly, I didn't know you were such a prude!! Shag woman, shag!

Just, I was wondering how you were getting on. Everything crossed for you - you will get there.

Womb cam tomorrow, fun times!

[user1492606927]

'Ello ladies !!!

Nikki , 33
DD 10 & 4 . DS 15
Going for four to even things up , will probably end up with another girl (poor hubby!) DH is currently thinking all his xmas have come at once as he's had sex three days in a row and got to leave it in ((despite being on the pill before I also made him pull out!! Hate the squelchy mess they leave behind 😂))

[pretzelpieces]

pud

Hello other newbies and oldbies!

kwick I remember you!

bageldog that instant risotto sounds incredible, currently dairy, soya and joy free due to feeding an allergic toddler but will be right on that ASAP!

just good to see you again. GX for a miracle bfp before IVF, but glad things are moving forward for you.

NEVER, jelly?! You gotta get your daytime shag on this weekend fo sho!

Confession time: I haven't had a shag since conceiving DD 23.5 months ago I know, barely acceptable to even call myself a shagger anymore. I'm an eager beaver but DP has had a 'crisis of confidence' situation and needs some gentle persuading. So there's that and the toddler that is perma-glued to me , I do relish a challenge I really don't

[pretzelpieces]

Sorry for the witch flash

choo I'm so sorry. I hope you can take some time to grieve although I know you're eager also to move on with ttc.

pud good luck with womb cam. GX for the all clear.

[kwick]

@sofie I too have read that book and am on all the supplements incl DHEA, co-enzyme q10 and myo inositol to name a few!!! I am on 5mg of folic due to BMI.

Re plastic I think bendy plastic rather than rigid is far worse but I agree it is so hard!!!


@justtheonethen so glad to see you!!! 🤞🏼 for miracle baby

[jellypi3]

pret gx for DP managing a shag.

choo its so fucking unfair. Much love to you.

[choochooo]

MrsB have you been on here before then? I feel like I recognise you!

Jess I love your names for the central lines

Line (or just? But that's confusing) gx for JSing! Sorry to hear about your CPs :( I had what I think was one before this now departed (nearly :( ) baby.
3 times - fucking hell!

Gaggia! Stay and cheer us on!

Sofie I don't use bpa bottles anyway but I hadn't realised there was definite evidence. TBH there's so much that can effect fertility that I would drive myself mad worrying about all of it. Each time I've got pg it's been when eating healthily, not drinking much, taking b complex and dtd eod. Hoping that'll be my winning combo again!

Just! Gx for shagathon pre-ivf! LOS in action? I got pg with DS in middle of fertility investigations.

Jelly you prude! Get the buzzy pal going and you'll not notice that it's daylight! Or close the curtains. Shag shag shag

Flash so sorry about the witch. Bitchwitch.

Pud gx for wombcam. Let us know how it goes

User you nutter! Welcome!

Pretzel shag shag shag! Hopefully he'll find its like riding a bike!

Melted down on leaving work tonight, just felt miserable. Dh made me tea and made me lie down. Love him

[JessKM]

user do NOT decide on 4 to even things out!! We went for number four and it's such an awkward number!! Go for five

choo my heart breaks for you, it's an awful place. Kick and scream and do whatever you need too, don't hold anything in, it will not help. You feel whatever you need and want to feel!

[ZylaB]

Sort of here until we decide if we are trying for number 2 again or not. Tending towards not after mc number two in a row, but am going to hang around until I know for sure what we've decided! Also waiting on genetic testing from last baby to see if there are issues..

[Hobbit19]

Hi Zyla, waiting for those results must be tough. How are you feeling?

Ha ha Jess! 5kidsohmygod

[FeatheredTail]

Jelly you met DH at uni, right? How did you miss out on the day time bonk?! Get to it, it's great! Closed curtains = lovely flattering light

Pretz do you have family close by to look after DD for a few hours in the evening/afternoon? Would DH respond to a very subtle seduction? Is it nerves at not having done it for so long, or a little more complicated? He looks like he's SO good with DD that I'm sure the thought of anther will spur him on and that he'll remember that shagging is great.

Choo sending you all the hugs. How're you doing this evening? It's so shit, MC is so cruel - even 'early' MCs come with the grief of the 1-3 months you've spent visualising your new baby and how your life will be. Good on DH, he must be feeling low about it too. Hope you're not doing too much at work and pain management it alright.

Kwick helllo! I spotted some of your story on previous threads that I snooped in on, you are such a strong, positive viroid.

Zyla here for a hand hold.

Honey hello! I know, I feel totally nostalgic on this thread too - very 2015.

[cleanjean]

Name: Jean
Age: 27
DC: 0
TTC: 1st cycle actually trying, but been "not not trying" for a couple cycles.

Forgotten when ERTD due but I think it's May 5th.

[pretzelpieces]

choo i hope so! Hoping for some low pressure shags/fooling around during the rest of this cycle to Erm, break him in. Glad your dh is taking good care of you. He sounds like a good egg.

jelly clearly Mr jelly needs to be blindfolded, added kink factor and no self consciousness for you!

zyla good to see you. You can get support here whatever you decide. hand hold

feathered that's a good idea. My family are quite near so there's chances for babysitting we just usually use it to see nerdy films at the cinema. It is a little more complicated but I think the trying for number 2 thing could help as long as it doesn't add too much pressure, because there's an outside reason why we're doing it and maybe that'll take the focus away from his worries/fears? Also, he's always wanted a 2nd at some point so he is motivated, as it were

[SofiePendragon]

Just so nice to hear from you. Gx for a miracle bfp!

kwick I've Googled a bit more and apparently most disposable bottles are made of PET which doesn't contain bpa, which is reassuring.

to all going through hard times right now.

[Singingforsanity]

Wow, it's a hive of activity here! Welcome/welcome back to viroids old and new!

Name: Singing
Age: 36 (shit, had to think really hard there)
DC: DS 22months
TTC: Currently TTC DC2, on cycle 5 twot. AF due 30th, not that I'm counting...

Really need to up our game next cycle (not much chance this time, been shit at shagging due to sleep deprivation).

[JessKM]

Took kids to farm today, you knowC being all organic and natural parents.

There must be something in the air today cos Christ them animals were going AT IT! Everywhere you looked. Even a chicken and a duck? I don't even know what they'd make? A chuck or a dicken
Cue a very open old lady explaining to my four year old why the male bunny couldn't live with the lady bunnies cos he likes to love them up and they're his sisters...we've had some awkward shagging conversations today, far from being inspired by said animals we've been rather put of by sons questions

[HariboFrenzy]

Name: haribofrenzy
Age:34
DC: 22 mo DS
TTC: #2

Very cautiously joining you all. Have always said would like another one eventually. Don't want to do all the craziness of opks and symptom spotting as logically I'd rather it happened later rather than sooner (but I think that is just fear talking 😬).

Now in the TWOT (hope I got that right!). DH and I were both very excited about leaving it in (withdrawal til now) so much so that we DTD twice on the day I was pouring with ewcm . I gather that's the wrong thing to do if you want 'concentrated swimmers' haha but meh. JSing and feels good!

[jellypi3]

Welcome jean and haribo! I luffs it when a dirty title draws in new people.

feathered i can't remember back to uni! i can't remember last night some nights

We employed the bedroom floor for the shag last night. Man i need softer carpets.

[TriJo]

Totally cockblocked last night. Got back from the marathon expo and because DS got some sleep in the car he decided that staying up until 11:30pm was the absolute craic.