Thread 27. TTC #1 - we're stressed, we're fed up, we're bitter but I promise this will all be worth it when we're holding our precious babies

[AlexiaB]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

We've been going a while now so the novelty has worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

Here's our Grad's Thread. May 2017 lead us all to upduffed heaven and the Grad's thread, amen.

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

Key:
HS - have/had sex
GOS - good old shag
ELH - enthusiastic lavatory happenings
LSFX - legs spread, fingers crossed

Hey Tina sorry ur feeling low..i think we ladies take ttc so much more personally then our OH's, and so when its not happening it really affects how we feel ** (hugs!)

Thanks @CarleyColie we will all get through this together. AF is a b*tch 😂😂 xx

Just out of curiosity, how many of our oh's do we think are on similar message boards?!

Interesting point hanna... I know for certain my DH isn't but I do talk openly about mumsnet and FF to him.

Alexia - I'm so sorry if that came across in a way I didn't intend to. I have a lot of respect for you sharing your story and absolutely think you two sound like you have an amazing relationship. I really didn't mean to sound disrespectful. All I meant to do is show we've all had tough times and hopefully come out the other side. I shouldn't have used your example as it was of course a different situation.

Mine calls it "my community" 😂 xx

As in mine, he isn't part of any forums xxx

Placemarking as I love reading this thread:

Tonks
Age 29
Cycle 5
Currently 5+2 desperately hoping for a sticky bean.

I'll be lurking to cheer all of you lovely ladies on and to see your BFPs roll in.

Congrats on your pregnancy @Tonks87 ☺️ xx

Wow this thread moves so fast!
Hello tina carley
Sorry to hear all that he struggles and general shittyness oh and bloomin AF unwanted arrivals to all.
pjs sorry the letter was so report-like, does he normally communicate like this or can he open up emotionally? Maybe he feels because he's given up drink, especially if he was a bit of a boozer before, he's like a saint and resents that you went out and had some fun...which is not acceptable behaviour on his part at all. Like you said you only drink when AF arrives and not had much since Christmas so I don't get why he thinks you have a problem. Blokes meh! Seriously hope he grows a pair by the morning...

Oh and

Sorry posted on the other thread -

Missy
Age - 34
Cycle 5
CD17
Ttc#1
Got a positive opk finally today whoop just hoping my lp is longer than expected otherwise I am down for a short lp again meh fx

Thanks for the encouragement macs I'm finally over the post run fatigue! I might have a little 5k tomorrow to get things moving again. How often / far do you run?

Sorry AF got you Carley but glad you're feeling strong

Welcome Tina sorry you're feeling low - I think it's hard for family to or other people to fully understand TTC unless they've been through it themselves. It's a very unique experience. I hope sharing on here helps - I find it a huge support

Hanna my DH definitely doesn't use any forums but I wish he did, I think it would help him open up and not feel like he's the only man going through MFI

Glad all going well tonks

I congratulated my friend and chatted to her about her BFP experience and then told her we've been trying and a bit about the difficulty we've had. I had a bit of a cry and she was very supportive and sweet and incredibly understanding. I'm going to find it hard seeing her bump grow and grow but I'm going to have to overcome that and just feel happy for her. She's a lovely person and fully deserves this happiness.

It occurred to me that their baby will come in October. Our NHS treatment won't start until December at the earliest 😔 the waiting when you have fertility problems is just the worst 😪

Pyjamas I'm thinking of you and hope that you are okay and have some RL support. Please remember you've done nothing seriously wrong xx

Jam - try not to think about the timings. You may get lucky and get a BFP before the IVF for starters, in which case none of that will really matter. I'm glad you've opened up to her, it will make your meet ups a little bit easier as she will be well aware of how you are feeling. Try to think of this as an opportunity, she's going to go through everything before you so try and absorb all the knowledge you can for when your day comes.

Despite my AF being so fucking painful, I think it's finished. It was so short this cycle. I'm suspiscious of my body. 🤔

First of all I just want to say thank you all so much for your amazing support today - I really don't know what I would've done without it. You're all amazing.

I am absolutely exhausted. Emotionally and physically drained. DH isn't home yet and he hasn't got in touch. The thought of him out with friends at a birthday party I was also invited to without his wedding ring on is killing me.

I've been taking to my mum and brother on the phone and Skype pretty much since he left, which is at least something. They do understand why he was upset seeing me like that (as I do), but think the way he's responded is unacceptable. I honestly feel like I'm being emotionally abused and I literally feel sick and like I married a stranger. My stomach is in knots. Someone asked whether he usually communicates in this clinical way - yes, he's always been emotionally closed off and deals with logic rather than feelings. Don't get me wrong, he is usually a kind and gentle man and so affectionate, but when it comes to actually talking about feelings, he just doesn't.

I wish I could respond to all of you lovely people individually, but I'm just so exhausted 😞

So I was in the middle of writing the above when DH came out (having had a few beers) - he hugged me when he came in and it may sound lame as he's caused so much upset but I cried with relief. We agreed we need to talk properly and he's going to read my letter in the morning - he didn't want to read it when he was angry. He agreed that we both need to listen more and make changes. His note was intentionally cold because it's how he felt at the time. No apology for scaring me, but I don't want to broach that until he's read how he really made me feel last night.

Thank you all again - I promise I won't be so self-centred once this storm blows over. I see AF has hit for some and there have been other woes, 💐💐 and 😘😘 for all of you.

I think we were expecting AF on the same day weren't we sk1pper? Can't believe yours has finished and mine hasn't started yet. It's all a giant conspiracy.

Jam, glad you had a good evening and we're able to open up to your friend. I'm not even thinking about dates and what things might mean at the moment, way too depressing. I think we have one more shot at a 2017 baby :/

Hurrah for your positive OPK missy!

Welcome Tina, you're in good company here. I'm sorry about AF

Missed your post pyjamas. Glad things are looking a bit better for you. Hopefully once he's read the letter, he fully understand the impact of his behaviour. I think you're right to call it emotional abuse and you need to know how he's going to change so that he never treats you like that again. As for you, I don't think you need to be doing any changing. This is all on him. Get some sleep now lovely, wishing you lots of strength for tomorrow 😘

Thanks for clearing that up Geeup. Think I was a little over-sensitive and hormonal and read it completely wrong. How's your IVF going, I think you said you've started the meds? Do you have a date set for collection?

Missy yay for +ve OPK! A high dose of B complex really helped me with my short LP. Knowledge is power though so if it is on the short side you can make a few changes (if there's a next cycle).

Hi Tonks how are you feeling? Any symptoms?

Jam I'm glad you were able to open up to your friend tonight and that she was very supportive. It will undoubtedly sting if she gives birth before you get your BFP or start treatment. You will cope though, you're a very strong woman

Kath - we were yes! Are you going to retest this weekend or just going to ride it out for a bit? My AF is normally long and heavy so that's something to be greatful for, I'm sad we're no longer synced though.

Missed quite a few posts with slow typing...

I don't think I can sum it up any better than Kathrino did pjs. I hope your heartfelt letter lets him know exactly how he made you feel. I also hope you get a much deserved apology and reassurance that he won't treat you like this and ruin your day(s) again like he has. Glad your family were there for you. Rest up

Kathrino I wonder where AF is? I really hope it's good news but I don't want to get your hopes up. Hope you get your answer very soon, limbo sucks. I was also thinking the same thing about a 2017 baby earlier 💔

Pyjamas - glad you're okay. Some may disagree but IMO whatever happens tomorrow, do not be the first to apologise. There needs to be mutual understanding and forgiveness and he should be the one to make the first move after all the pain he's caused.

Welcome newbies 👋

Glad you had a good chat with your friend jam- opening up is such a release. As the wonderful kwick says- "remember you are in perfect time" (hey kwick!)

Pyjamas- I hope you get a better nights sleep and that tomorrow brings open conversation and a way forwards. I agree with skipper- don't apologise first as it implies you were the root cause (you weren't, he was obviously looking for a fight the day before). Your DH needs to know how seriously his actions affected you, and he needs to let you know why he had such a disproportionate reaction and apologise. I hope that by talking you can better understand each other and that this is just a blip and you are stronger than ever in no time. Stay strong 💐

So glad there's a breakthrough pyjamas - and you were most definitely not being self-centered posting here! Hope tomorrow & days ahead provide more progress

jam that's some impressive running motivation after the 8 miles!

Hi all
Bluebell here
Age 29
Cycle 6
CD3
TTC#1

Sorry I've been off the radar for so long. Been struggling getting my head around stuff so have taken myself away from everything for a while. Have been reading occasionally but not posted for a long time.

Having really heavy periods but the dr has given me something that's supposed to help - although no such luck yet.

Sorry to hear there's not been much luck on this thread of late. We must all be due lots of BFPs soon.

Sending lots of positive thoughts to you all, especially those having a tough time recently.

jam glad you opened up to your friend it will make the next months much better for you because she's aware now so will get sensitive to what you are going through...plus here's hoping for that BFP befor Dec arrives anyway!!!

pjs glad you spoke to your mom and brother, it's good to have a network. Hope you managed to get a good sleep last night and today you can work things through with DH - like others have said you don't have anything to apologise for. You do need to know why he totally went off on one though so fx he can be rational and open up to you a little...