40+ ttc: bring on the bfp's!

[ababsurdum]

Continuation of the long-running 40+ ttc thread.

Link to the previous thread.

Quick question - how long is everyone normally 'fertile' for? I usually get lines on opk's for about 3 days but this month it's coming on 8 days! What's going on?!

How you doing polly? X

Hey Weasel. I’m ok. Temps stopped dropping but they are not as high as they should be for a viable pregnancy, and a CBD said ‘not pregnant ‘ today having said ‘pregnant 1-2’ on Monday. Clearly this is failing, but I am quite heartened by the fact that I got pregnant at all and am definitely going to start the serrapeptase etc again as soon as I start bleeding. At my age miscarriage is very likely, but the total lack of pregnancy was a bigger issue. If I can at least get pregnant surely eventually I will get a good egg, or at least that’s what I am choosing to think.
Haven’t told DH yet as I can’t deal with his stress as well as my own but will tell him when I start bleeding.
Hope you are all ok.

Cleo, usually I get 3 or 4 flashy faces, but a couple of months ago I had loads. It did hit peak eventually though.

Thanks Polly, and so sorry to hear it's not going well. You are right that it is a good sign that you actually got pregant in the first place, fingers crossed next one will be a sticky one

Polly. So sorry to hear about what is happening. But glad you can take a small positive from it. Definitely a good sign. Sorry if you’re repeating yourself but how long have you been ttc? It’s #2 isn’t it?

Not much happening here. I think I’m late but im not getting excited. I think I’m 14-15 dpo but to be honest I’ve no idea these days as my body does weird things mid cycle. According to my temps I am 15dpo but then again I had days and days of ewcm this month so god knows. My temps are still high but boobs are no longer sore. In the words of Peter Kay “what’s that all about?!”

I think that a good sign Littlemimosa! As long as those temps stay high you are in with a shot. Boobs do honestly lie - this time mine hurt like mad but the last time I was pg (MC at 9 or 10 weeks) I had no idea at all! I reckon you should test in a day or two.

We are trying for number 3 and so far it has taken over 7 years, during which time I’ve had 3 miscarriages (including this one) quite evenly spaced. Told DH about this one this evening, he seemed a bit upset. I am a bit, but I am realistic - given my history I have no choice!!

Btw question for those of you who temp: what numbers do you get pre and post ovulation?
I’ve had between 36.5 and 36.6 pre ovulation and between 37 and 37.3 post. They’ve been very steady with a clear rise at ovulation BUT I think my digital thermometer reads high (by about 0.5-I’ve compared it to two others I’ve got) so now I’m worried that they are more like 36.0 pre and 35.5/8 post. Dr Google says these are too low. Anyone any ideas??

Sorry to read your updates POLLY. I have had a few chemicals and it’s such an awful feeling to have that feeling of seeing a bfp to the awful realisation that‘ the pregnancy isn’t progressing. Have you ever had immune issues which could explain these chemicals? I feel my chemicals of late are probably due to my age but I honestly feel that 42 which is what I believe you are is still not that old at all in terms of ttc. I had my second dc at 42.

LITTLE -
Sorry unable to offer advice re temps. I’ve never done this. Hopefully someone can advise x

THabks Polly. Appreciate your advice. I love your line ‘the boobs lie’.
I’m also ttc #3. My dc are 6&4 and it’s been about 18 months but only about 12 cycles. Am losing hope though as am 41.5 and seeing cycle changes. Mainly between AF and ovulation. Keep ovulating too early. How are your hormones?!

Lucky no immune issues I think. I do have ‘raised clot strenth’ so am on baby aspirin from BFP, but I know my previous 2 MCs were due to abnormalities, and that’s the likely cause of this one too. My long and tedious history goes: DC1, ectopic (medical management), chemical, ectopic (same side, tube removed), DC2, MMC (9 ish weeks, I could see on scan it was abnormal), MMC (9ish weeks, Patau), and now this chemical. I am hoping this CP is the start of me getting pregnant more easily...

Mimosa, my temps are usually below 36.55 pre-ov and above 36.6 post ov (minimum- more usual would be 36.75-36.9, and that’s where they stay with a viable pregnancy for me). This time my temps told me something was amiss, and they helped me spot my first ectopic too (I otherwise would not have known I was pregnant).

POLLY - I was told to take Baby aspirin continuously plus higher strength prescription only folic acid. Prior to conceiving dc2 I had immune issues and had treatment which included steroids but the other things I had to take were vitamin D and also omega oil daily plus pregnancy vitamin. I was told to take higher strength folic acid because of age and to take aspirin as they didn’t fully understand why but it seems to help actually getting pregnant for some reason. Might be worth taking Baby aspirin during ttc if you have no health issues with aspirin? Just an idea. I believe you may be more fertile after any pregnancy chemical or otherwise too? Good Luck xx

This is my first month temping, and am already totally confused. No proper rise yet and I got my peak cbfm on Sunday and positive opk on Monday. The positive on monday was the darkest I have ever seen a line. However ewcm dried up way before that. And now no temp rise. So confused and hate my OAP body right now

Cleo, often to start with charting seems a bit uninformative but it’s the overall patterns that tell you what you need to know. Just keep going - all will become clear (I sound like a fortune cookie).

Polly - how are things going? Have you taken any more tests? I meant to say the other day that I was so sorry to hear about all your losses.
Also thanks for the info on your temps x

Cleo - sorry it’s all getting confusing. I don’t have a monitor so can’t help you on that front. It’s my first month temping too so am also a novice. Am going to do another month then after that no more as it’s too stressful.

Thankyou fortune cookie 😁 all helpful stuff, will keep going this month.

Think I'll give up after this month too littlemimosa - completely stressful! Problem is with these things, is they are never clear or straightforward and if they don't go exactly like we expect we panic (well I certainly do) and to be honest if I had not been temping this month I'd have been so massively chuffed and happy with my peaks and strong opk readings, now it feels irrelivant as my temps are not doing as they should, which is a shame! Plus faffing around with thermomitors every morning and trying not to to get up in the night to wee and worrying about taking temps after solid sleep is bloomin hard work! Not doing that over Christmas.

Little I haven’t tested again but there really is no need. My temp was low again today and I bet the bleeding starts any minute. It’s ok. Quite apart from the fact I am v resilient these days, I’d prefer pretty much anything to going through several weeks of pregnancy and then getting the bad news.

Lucky I’ll look into the aspirin thing. I know it isn’t helpful for recurring miscarriages, but my clinic did put me on it alongside progesterone (whether in FET or fresh cycle) as they thought it helps with lining. Fingers crossed I’ll be more fertile next month too (although since I am about to go on a chocolate and wine binge...)

Cleo some women don’t get a quick or obvious rise - you might find that your progesterone rises slowly (which is ok) and that your chart shows a rise that has happened in stages (and which you can identify in hindsight). You should show us your chart when you get to the end of the month. I know I sound a bit keen but I am pretty evangelical about charting. Many years ago with my first ectopic I would not have known I was pregnant, much less that something was badly wrong, if I hadn’t charted. And this CP is no surprise because of how my temps have been. Sometimes it hasn’t been that perfect - the chart from my second ectopic was normal-looking - but overall I think it is so useful and I’ll be teaching my daughters to do it when they are older. I’m hoping that when my hormones start to wobble it will give me some clues then too.

Hi, I just joined and only just starting trying to conceive. My partners younger than me and only last week decided he wants to try. I just turned 40 a few months ago. Little apprehensive about the chances but crossing my fingers! Using the first months to get the vitamins in the system and check things ‘are working’ but would love some advice as to what I should be doing!!! Apart from BD of course ;)

Welcome Karigan. Good luck with your journey. I don’t know if I can tell you what you should be doing. Chances are you’ll BD a few months and take your vitamins and you’ll be pregnant. At the stage you’re at I wouldn’t stress over any added extras just go for it. Maybe work out when you approx ovulate though?

Polly, you sound very strong. I’m glad you’re not falling apart.

How’s everyone else?

Still no AF here. I’ve had 17 days of high temps now (since it shot up on day 10) and it was still high this morning. I’m too scared of disappointment to test....

Lots of luck Karigan. I’d just have sex every 2-3 days if you can, or at least a couple of times when you are fertile (10-16 days before you next expect your period) and see what happens.

Littlemimosa - how long is your luteal phase normally? This sounds like a pregnancy to me. I do understand the reluctance to test, though.

Bleeding has started properly now, lots of cramping etc, but DH and I are going on a baking course today so that’ll take my mind off things .

I hope everyone’s ok.

Sounds promising Mimosa - any symptoms?

You’re in a similar situation to me - I’ve just turned 42, have 2 dc and have been trying 18 months. I’m also worried about shorter cycles and early ov.

For the past ten years I’ve had a 26 day cycle but recently it’s a 25 day cycle which means I ov on cd10. It just feels too early. I’m feeling pretty down about it all today.

I read back on

Sorry, posted by accident...

I read back on earlier posts about your temps. I got higher temps with one thermometer once - was actually relieved as they were too high.

Did you mean your temps were 36.0 pre and 36.5/8 post? That sounds about right to me.

Pre AF headache and spots here this morning and temps are dropping. Sigh. Could’ve got excited there for a minute. Why oh why does my body tease me each month with a slightly different pregnancy symptom?! My luteal phase is normally 14-15 days so to have one at 18 days is unusual for me. Had my little cry. Just got to focus on my two little ones today and move forward (again!)

Ali I meant that on my thermometer I was getting 36.5-6 pre and 37.0/1 post. BUT I think my thermometer reads high (I once checked it against a hospital one) by about 0.5 of a degree so they are more likely to be 36.0 pre and 36.5 post. What are yours?

Polly hope you’re ok and the bleeding comes and goes without too much pain. Have a lovely day with your DH cooking!

Welcome Karigan, hope things happen quickly for you.

Littlemimosa, sorry to hear it's not looking positive this month, although you are not out until af arrives. Our bodies do like to tease us don't they. I've had the same. Different symptoms every month that always result in nothing. It's like they are having a laugh at our expense.

Polly- soundsyou are coping well. Distraction is the best way. On to next cycle, fingers crossed for that one.

My FF chart thingy managed to pinpoint ov on cd20 (day after +opk) took me by surprise yesterday as I had not noticed the subtle temp shift which FF must have done. Will be keeping an eye on it now to see what happens. I must admit that the temping thing is really fascinating and does seem to hold a lot of answers. I really like it in a way, and totally see the benefit, it's just unfortunate I find it so stressful!
Anyway very releived to see I must have ov'd this month. Currently 4dpo. Will try not to get hopes up too much

Mimosa - yes I used to get similar temps to that 36 pre and 36.5 post. Although they used to fluctuate which I later realised was when my 6-year old sleeps in our bed. Sorry you feel AF is coming.

I took the SI this month and now wishing I hadn’t as I took them cd3-7 which supposedly freezes your own oestrogen. Then I ov’d cd10 so no way could the lining build up enough without the oestrogen. I won’t take them next cycle - I’ll keep them for the menopause (laughing/crying)