Ttc after miscarriage thread #8

[Miami81]

Hey. Just starting new thread. Hope the rest of you find it.

[Crazyvaperlady]

BUT on the upside, I've just taken an ovulation test and it's almost positive!!! So yay!!!

[Waterfeature]

So sorry Anne.

[Waterfeature]

Now even Amal Clooney is pg -- with twins.

pg women are everywhere.

[swimchick1980]

I know Water - bloody Amal Clooney! 2 of my work colleagues announced today they're pregnant. Saw 7 women pregnant on the train platform today - they were only 15 women in total!

It's really getting me down. And aswe managed to get a BFP naturally when we had our MC, DH is refusing to even entertain the idea of IVF (despite agreeing to it before). I can't do TTC naturally for another 3 years, done 6 already (3 for each BFP). We are lucky to have one DC, I totally appreciate that, but when he says even if it doesn't work, we still have DC1, I want to scream at him! I know it is true but i so desperately want another DC and have done for so long and not willing to give up without a fight.

Really need to go to sleep, need to try and turn brain off

[TeamLentil]

Just popping in to give some hugs and to anne. I'm now waiting for AF - almost four weeks since miscarriage and I want my life back.

[AnneLovesGilbert]

You guys x

Thank you for being so incredibly kind and supportive. I'm really properly okay, promise. Hurts like a bastard but it'll be over soon. I'm grateful I knew it was going to happen and got my grieving mostly done over the weekend so looking forward and just need to crack on again.

lentil, everyone's experience is different but after my mcs my afs have been the same of lighter and less painful than usual so I hope it's here soon and you're doing okay.

Hope you got some sleep swim and I'm so sorry about things with DH. What are his thoughts? That you'll be fine ttc again naturally, not as worried about timings as you are, worried about the cost of ivf? I can't remember if you've said, but have you tried clomid? I've seen a lot of people mention using it to help conceive.

That blog was wonderful miami, thank you so much for sharing it. We've both had a read and I found a lot of comfort in it.

DH was making shocked faces about lucky number 5. But I did point out to him that those are now the numbers we're playing with ourselves and it's been a bit shit. I've been pregnant 3 times in 6 months. I had an early unplanned mc with my ex. He and his ex had an ectopic then twins by ivf. The numbers are adding up.

How's everyone today?

[AnneLovesGilbert]

iecgi, are you more comfy today?

Thinking of you at your appointment today miami x

Make sure you ask all of your questions, discuss all the possible tests, and have plenty of time afterwards or over the weekend with your DH to go over it all. I've found we both tend to remember different things afterwards and it's so useful to be able to go over it a few times.

Let us know how you get on

[emily86]

I hope your appointment goes ok today Miami.

[Miami81]

Mouse i hope they get your thyroid sorted asap. I keep thinking what if they find something like that for me and we have to wait. DH is like, well let's hope they do find something as then next pregnancy even if it is far away has way more chances of success. I know that doesn't help where you are right now. We have agreed that if there is a massive wait we will go on a lovely guilt free holiday. Have ye made any plans, had any thoughts like that? I kind of feel like if we can't try then we should make the most of not being pregnant. (Although like you I would take that over the other any day).
As I say I hope it resolves quickly for you. My friend has hyperthyroid and she was very fidgety and restless, she has taken up knitting and crochet to help. All the best.

[AnneLovesGilbert]

How are you emily? Hope af is here and over soon. The 2ww was a shitter but I made a real effort to make dtd last month as sexy and non conceivy as possible, if that makes sense. We used preseed which may or may not have done anything. And my god it's pricey! But we're not machines and it was nice being close and feeling like normal again after everything.

Hope your neighbours have stopped being inconsiderate knob heads.

[Miami81]

Hey thanks for all your kind wishes.
It is edinburgh rmc I am attending so will let you know how they are.
Anne glad you liked that blog. I am going to give it to DH at the weekend so he can have a read through. Not sure that he is ever going to talk to me about how he feels but I want him to know that there are other blokes out there going through this too.

[AnneLovesGilbert]

Knowing how other men feel might help him to share miami.

It's complicated isn't it. The look on DHs face when he left me groaning in bed to go to work earlier was awful. I was trying to tell him it'll pass and there's nothing he needs to do, that it's sad but I'm fine. It's his loss as much as mine and on top of that he worries about me and the physical side of what I'm going through.

I wonder if it makes it difficult for them to talk because they know it's more immediate and encompassing for us as it's our bodies going through it.

The other thing here is that DH already has DC so even if we never get one he's already a dad. Which brings its own complications!

Have you said to him that while it's your physical experience you know he must struggle emotionally too and that it's helpful for you to be able to share your hopes, worries, doubts together?

Hope you get some answers today. I love Edinburgh, didn't know you were up there!

[AnneLovesGilbert]

I'm now hearing your posts in a lovely Scottish accent. Is that right?

[AnneLovesGilbert]

Ps sorry for waffling on today everyone. I know I usually do but it's worse as I'm bored and at home. I'll let someone else have a chance now!

[noroomonbroom]

I got really upset at dp the weekend after mc because I felt it hadn't made any difference for him.He got up and went to work the next morning and went to an arranged football thing on the Sunday but after having it out with him it was a coping thing for him because he didn't know what I needed or how to deal with how he felt.Je thought that trying to just carry on with everything as normal would make everything normal.

[Miami81]

Anne
No Scottish accent I am afraid. I am Irish, been living in Edinburgh for years and can almost do a fake accent.
Do you have good enough painkillers anne? I found the nurofen express max ones were good. They are in a green pack and is just one tablet of 400mg ibuprofen, you can then double up with paracetamol (plain on its own) if you need as well. DH found it a good thing being in charge of administering drugs I think it helped him to think that at least he could do that for me! He wrote them all down to make sure that I didn't accidentally OD.
I had a proper screaming match with him around 3 days after our second mc, he got really narky when I asked him to come with me to hospital for second scan as I was sure the mc hadn't actually happened yet. I think they all struggle with appropriate responses and to be fair to them they are dealing with us in the middle of a massive crisis when our hormones are literally ruling the day. He is just a quiet guy who isn't very comfortable talking about it all. I try to draw him out on it though as I don't want it to mess with us as a couple.

[notparticularlypatient]

Anne, I'm glad there is some activity on the thread during what would otherwise be a very boring day at workBut I'm so sorry you have to go through this again, and very impressed by your positive attitude. I hope (and believe) it won't be long until you have a sticky bean! As for your DH: although he already have children I'm sure he also really wants you to be a mother and him to be a father together.

Miami, fx for your appointment!

Noroom, I had a similar experience to yours with my dp, particularly after the first initial shock and grieving. He seems to have forgotten it all by now (five weeks post mmc). But he is very understanding when I mention it, so guess he just deals with it in his own way.

On a positive note, I had my first positive opk after the mc this morning. I didn't track it the first cycle. So it feels like things are moving forward at least.

[DontBuyANewMumCashmere]

Morning
Yes it is nice to read some chatter here, on a bleak and grey morning.
My bleeding is slowing down after 6 days. I started at 10 weeks and scan said it was only about 5 weeks growth so I don't know if this bleeding will carry on for weeks, if I'll pass it naturally (since its only 4mm I could have already passed it?)
Or will I return for my scan on Weds to find it hanging around and I have to do more bleeding and feeling shit... or whatever
It's the unknown which is upsetting me.

[iecgi]

Hi guys hope everyone ok as can be my bleeding has nearly stopped it's only been 3 days is just a little spotting today cramps never really went anywhere just like a dragging ache not as bad as my periods post mmc have been maybe this is good sign when it's all over I might have a cycle more like before as even my bleeding is more like my old periods tmi sorry. I almost wish it was more painful feels like it was a nothing just slipping away quietly like this all my others went with a roar.... oh well probably overly emotional today hormone drop perhaps keep thinking of you all hoping theres some good news soon.

[Crazyvaperlady]

Hi all, not a good day today, after telling OH that I had an almost positive pregnancy test he decided to go to sleep early and ignore me test is lighter this morning so assume I've missed my chance this month... feel so low. Hope everyone is OK!

[emily86]

I'm doing alright thanks Anne. Looks like AF is just about done so will get back on the TTC train this evening.

I recently watched a video on The Dad Network on Facebook called 'A dad's feelings on a 5th miscarriage' (not sure how to do a link, sorry). I found it quite helpful, both with being able to empathise with his feelings but also gave me a bit of insight into how DH might be feeling.

[emily86]

Oh crazy that sounds tricky. Forgive me for being a bit stupid, but was this your post-miscarriage test? Or a back to TTC test?

[Crazyvaperlady]

Sorry not pregnancy test ovulation test I meant lol

[Crazyvaperlady]

He said he wanted to TTC again straight away and I had an almost positive opk test and he just 'wasted' it! Or that's how I feel, I'm so angry and low about it

[TurquoiseDress]

Hi all- glad to find this thread, I posted on thread number 7 previously

I'm on cycle 7 after missed miscarriage at 13 weeks last summer.
Feels like I'm never going to be pregnant again!

Yes and there seem to be so many pregnancies around me and in the media- Beyonce & Amal!

Saw Peter Andre and his wife in a glossy magazine a few weeks ago- almost made me cry as she was due around the same time as me late 2016 and her first child is just a couple of months older than mine.

It certainly feels like its happening for everyone else apart from us- I know this isn't really true, but it feels that way!

Am now on approx CD27 (stick to pen & paper diary now, deleted Ovia!) my cycle is usually 28-30 days, I suppose I could get one of those early tests- but I'm just too tight to pay 15 quid for 2 tests, have got my internet cheapies in the cupboard!

Good luck to everyone!