Ttc after miscarriage thread #8

[Miami81]

Hey. Just starting new thread. Hope the rest of you find it.

Hi noroom sorry for your loss. You poor thing with the bus, what a nightmare. Timeframe for negative test is very variable, I took one about a week after and was still positive, then another one a week after that and it was negative. I was 8/9 weeks in real time but both pregnancies had actually ended sooner. It's all shit, people are arse holes (they don't mean to be and I am sure your friend didn't mean to be) but they just don't know and can't even comprehend that something so awful has happened.
I am taking high dose folic (due to bmi) and vit d. I figure it can't hurt.

It wasn't her fault at all.No one else knows and she is rightly excited.It was just the time and the place.Big circle of other mums,had to slap a grin on my face,congratulate her and ask all the usual questions,whilst claiming that a one and three year old are more than enough to keep me busy and we weren't even thinking of that yet(I know we have already been so lucky and my heart goes out to people trying for their first)
I am actually quite impressed with how I can fake normal.Really wanted to stamp my foot and shout it's not fair.
And then my crown fell off my tooth at lunch and had to make an emergency dental app where I got asked 'Is there any chance you could be pregnant'.
Also now have stinking cold so am looking at my body and wondering what it's going to balls up next.
Oh and my maternity exemption cert turned up today.I kid you not.
Extra vits can't do any harm so will grab some when I go on a supermarket run.

Sounds like lots of us are having a rather tricky day.

iecgi I'm so sorry you're bleeding again.

noroom I'm sorry for your loss and that you've had to join us. I was always advised to do a test 2 weeks after my miscarriage as it should be negative by then. I guess there is more chance of it still being positive before then and there's all the emotions that that brings.

Buddha that sounds really tough with your OH.

Miami I hope tomorrow goes quickly so that you can get to your appointment and hopefully get some answers. I hope you don't mind me asking, was your last pregnancy sent away for genetic testing, or are there any results your expecting to get on Friday?

Owl, I think the thing that is making me most sad right now is the overwhelming feeling that my life is increasingly becoming different to my friends, and that that is going to get worse as more of them start families. And it frightens me. What if they no longer want to spend much time with me? What if I no longer want to or feel capable of spending time with them? I guess it is all fear of the what ifs and unknowns.

Here's hoping for a better day tomorrow all round.

Yep stupidly took a test this evening bloody second line almost jumped off the stick and did a dance.
Really just need to be patient and let things get back to normal.Think I'm just a bit anxious for there to be no complications that mean I need to go back to the epu.

Emily
Nope epu advised that they wouldn't take any material for testing until 3rd. Only reason I am being seeing at rmc is because I went to GP in shock with family history (most of which I didn't know before). They referred me. Oh and heart shaped uterus.
Yep. Hoping tomorrow goes quickly.

I had a miscarriage 26th Jan bleeding stopped by 28th and negative test on 31st... now I have horrible black sticky discharge on and off :( TTC straight away but OH isn't too keen when it looks like I'm trying to tarmac his penis

Here you all are! I hadn't realised we maxed out the last thread and was worked that my bad chat was a conversation stopper .

Sounds like everyone is having a rough time so to you all although I did have to laugh at tarmacing OH's penis crazy .

I'm feeling pretty down too - seems like everyone I know it's announcing pregnancies with due dates within a month or so of what would have been my due date. Being super brave and offering hearty congratulations before going home and sobbing my eyes out . On the TTC bus but sometimes (like last night) I just don't want to DTD. Not sure why, really do want TC but just don't feel good about myself.

Anyway, smile plastered on face for the day ahead

vaperlady, that made me LOL! Thank you for the laugh on a bleak morning.

noroom, I only got a negative pg test three and a half weeks after my MC, and I'm still spotting a bit. It's definitely being an exercise in patience but at least I'm starting to feel like myself again.

Lentil, have to make light of it, he's so understanding and not at all prickish but I can tell it disgusts him, poor bloke! He perseveres to appease me but it can't be nice

Crazy, have you seen your GP. It doesn't sound right and you may be retaining some products and have an infection. Hold off DTD and get seen sweets. X

I think my bleeding has stopped, day 6 post mmc. It's just weird yellowish spotting right now. Yesterday I felt a bit better and not as tender. I cried myself to sleep last night, DH tried to help but a lot of things just hit me at once.

We have a massive family party in June. I would have had a lovely bump. Now i can't face the "when you having kids" questions that will probably be thrown at us.

The uncertainty of when we can TTC again is making me really sad. I just want to be pregnant again. The possibility of a 12 month waif is making my heart ache.

I won't have a baby in my 33rd year.

I won't have a baby by Christmas and New Years. (I got my BFP New Year's Eve)

I won't be pregnant for Mother's Day. I probably won't be pregnant for Father's Day in June.

And the very dark thought of 'Will I ever have a baby?' Just is sat there reminding me I'm 33 and childless. I wish I'd TTC when I first met DH 13 years ago, I really do.

Mouse
Sorry if you have already said but why do you need to wait 12 months??
I know what you mean about all the life events that you thought you would either be pregnant at or have a newborn.
I try not to get too focussed on it. When I have a bad day at work I do go home and have a wee cry when I think I should be on fucking maternity leave now.
I believe we will all get there though. Unfortunately the stats are based on something and at the moment that's us. Mind yourself.

After all the discussions about pg tests, I had to have a look myself. 9 days on and still a very visible line for me. So sad and poignant.

Also, TMI alert, but I've been feeling very strange in the nether regions. Had a feel in the bath and (sorry!) there seems to be a nobbly thing sticking out of my cervix. I'm not sure if it's symptoms of a prolapse (which I had in the past but sorted with physio) or retained products which I had in my last mc. Delightful...

I'm also struggling with pregnant women. I've just unfollowed everyone on FB (literally) partly to contain my addiction and also to ensure I don't see news of pregnancies, news items about babies etc. It's a bit extreme but I've just got to keep away from it all at the moment.

Sorry mouse, hadn't seen your latest post before I wrote mine.

So sorry you're feeling so down and I really get you about the milestones.

Mouse and Water,** sorry to hear that you're both having a bad day, it's really tough when you start to think about what could have been. It's so frustrating when thinking about it all as it can be overwhelming. Stay strong and look after yourself, I've found a lot of help on here and sometimes just reading other ladies posts feels like a massive support. Thank you everyone xx

Took a test this morning to confirm and thankfully it's negative, now have to wait for AF to show up which will likely be whilst we are away on a short break but I know for the first time I'll be pleased to see her! I spoke to the EPU this morning to ask if there was any reason we had to wait 3 months (as doctor advised pre-ERPC) but she said as long as we wait for first AF we can start TTC again, not sure whether to wait a full cycle or just start as soon as we can

MC started yesterday, crippling back ache last night so I was hopeful! Really relieved it's happened naturally. 5 weeks today. In my pjs on a towel on the sofa eating toast, drinking coffee and popping painkillers.

Feeling pretty okay actually. I've been lucky in the past to get my cycle back straight after so fx as it's so early that'll happen again.

Good news on your bfn owl, and there's no reason to wait once you've stopped bleeding and got a bfn.

I'm also sat on the sofa with a hot water bottle feeling like crap littlest one demanding every book in the house is read and generally destroying my house while she has the upper hand loving every minute there was once a time id never thought id ever know what it was like to have my house turned over by something so small....genuinely wondering why I'm even bothering to try again when I already have my beautiful little people and feeling very rubbish to feel so sad when I have so many reasons to be happy I've been there before I had my family kept miscarrying in early weeks and then a mmc at 10 weeks never found out why it was absolutely awful listening to people announce their pregnancies around me I feel bad that I feel like that again I almost feel like I have no right to feel like this I know how lucky I am until March 16 I was sure my family was done then we had a woops and that ended in a mmc and the rest is how it is... Hubby said today do you think maybe it's just not meant to be.... I've never wanted to scream so much in my life

Mouse doctor says it's just very old, thick blood, no retained products thank God! I have very thick blood due to low blood pressure so when I bled after my MC he said he imagined it just sat in one big puddle and congealed so now it's coming away slowly, but as there's no smell to it, I have no temp, no tummy pains and no unwell feelings he said no need for referral back to hospital... hoping he's right

TMI but I have the same Crazy. Bleeding stopped within 2 days but just left with really dark discharge! Sorry! I have low blood pressure too so maybe the same. I'm desperate to try again! I only had the ERPC on Monday but I feel like I want to get going asap! DS is 5 in November and I never wanted this age gap!

iecgi I know what you mean about feeling you were complete.We felt the same,ours was a 'whoops'too.I the idea of this being the the conclusion to my last pregnancy is just to hard.
Feel awful as had a 'would we manage' panic when I found out but was really starting to plan things for this one and by the time I was really excited it was already over.
Now I just want the last of the spotting over so we can move on.Really missing the intamacy with dp.Don't want to dtd until I'm sure it's stopped.
Crazyvaperlady think my dp might be a bit freaked out although like yours he would be reassuring.Not the end to a romantic night I'd invisioned.
Am hoping by valentines I'll be done with a -ve test too.
Otherwise it might be a trip back to the epu to see what's happening as that will be almost 3 weeks.

I had erpc and epu told me to test in 3 weeks.

Miami no worry sweets, I could have a 12 month wait due to the hyperthyroidism I was diagnosed a few weeks before my mmc. Doctor has put a ban on TTC until my levels are normal which is completely understandable but still very hard to take. This has been a 3 year journey so far, we've had to put off so many times. It feels cruel. X

Water so sorry you're struggling too. Please don't test again for a week or so. Give yourself time. X

Owl good news about your negative however f'ed up that statement is. X

Anne fx it's quick and doesn't cause you any pain. Sorry you're going through this again. X

iec that's hard. I can understand wanting more when they bring so much joy. Although I'd be happy just to get that first one in the bag.

Crazy those are good signs then. If it changes, get checked. Xxx

Oh anne i know you knew it was coming but from what you've wrote previously you've had it bloody tough. I hope you get your rainbow soon. Just like all you lovely ladies. How cruel is life.

Anne I'm so sorry you're going through this again. It sucks arse. Please be kind to yourself.

Crazy welcome. You got me with the penis tarmacking too. Does anyone else ever stop and thing how the eff did my life become this?!

On a side night, for anyone else who likes to take solace in films, I thought I'd share some recommendations. No tear jerkers, don't worry. Sing Street - feel good film with some excellent songs and 80s fashion. The Hunt for the Wilderpeople- slightly avant garde, hilarious film set in New Zealand, good if you're a fan of Flight of the Concords. And for massive, unadulterated cheese there's always Pitch Perfect and Pitch Perfect 2.

This evening I shall be putting on The Hunt for the Wilderpeople, getting under a blanket and trying not to feel too left out about the fact that my bridesmaid who has 10 month old DS has invited over my other bridesmaid who is 10 weeks pregnant and not me which is what triggered my mini-meltdown yesterday. I know I'm being a bit petty, and yes they're allowed to spend time together without me but man it hurts. (Good job DH is away for work as he would be telling me to get a grip.) Oh, and eating chocolate orange. Thank goodness for leftover Christmas chocolate!

emily I honestly never even care about TTC until I had my MC and now it is LITERALLY all I think about. Spend all day on here and on the ovia group on Facebook just reading and rereading in case there's something I'm not doing that I should be! I'm slowly going crazy!!!