Ttc after miscarriage thread #8

[Miami81]

Hey. Just starting new thread. Hope the rest of you find it.

[Miami81]

Hi turquoise
I remember you from the thread. After my spring mc it took us until October to get pregnant again (unfortunately that didn't end well) but just so you know you are not alone in terms of timings. It can become all consuming so hopefully you have managed to chill out a small bit. The tww is super shit though. Best of luck with it. I started going to acupuncture after around cycle 5 of no bfp and found that it helped (got pregnant that cycle), obviously I have some other stuff going on, but it seemed to help my hormones line up properly (I had felt they were all out of whack since the mc).
All the best.

[TurquoiseDress]

Hi Miami

I remember you as well from the other thread.
Sorry to hear about the miscarriage in October.

Think in some respects I've flipped the other way and just don't expect it to happen now- whereas following my MMC I kept reassuring myself that it would happen quickly, like my 2 previous pregnancies.

It's very hard to switch off and 'pretend' you're not thinking about TTC when that's all I seemed to find myself doing.

Also, everyone around you becoming pregnant does not help!
But the flip side of that is that I was that woman who became pregnant twice with no effort or planning at all, and I'm sure must have caused some heartache/upset among our friends & acquaintances who struggled TTC and some went through IVF.

it's given me some perspective that I never had before- and never would have gained if it were not for the MMC.

[MouseLove]

Well, just to prolong the fml feeling my maternity exemption certificate arrived this morning. Says I can still use it until it expires. So I did this pm for some more thyroid medication. Doc has signed me off until next week. I still feel delicate so that's probably wise. I am wearing real clothes too. 🙄😳

[swimchick1980]

So sorry mouse, definitely use it though!

Anne, hope the (physical) pain stops soon. You so deserve some luck, you've had such an awful time and seem to be coping unbelievably well . Re IVF, DH has low sperm count so thinks our struggles are "his fault". I don't think that at all. To him IVF means he has failed as a man. Again, I don't think that at all, to me it’s picking his strongest sperm, my strongest egg and giving ourselves the best chance. Will check out clomid, anyone had any extreme of it or know anything about it?

So today would have been scan day but it's instead AF day. Bittersweet I guess as it means everything is working.

Lots of luck and virtual hugs to everyone. Pizza, wine and a movie for me tonight. Mission lose weight can start next week

[AnneLovesGilbert]

Thank you swim

Clomid is to help ovulating I think so probably not relevant to you guys but I'm sure someone else can tell you more. Your poor DH, that must be so hard. When did you have the tests? But I completely agree on your approach, why not give yourselves the best chance!

There's a procedure short of ivf where they object the sperm up you, can't remember its name, sorry. Not as invasive for you and a bit like the turkey baster idea. Might be worth looking into? Not sure if they can filter the sperm first but there's all sorts they can do these days.

We've been so lucky to conceive quickly, I know we should be very grateful for that. But for some unknown reason I'm just not staying pregnant so I keep doing it, which takes a toll each time, and it's not getting us anywhere. DH had tests during their ivf and he was all good but it was a while ago. He's offered to get tested so that might be a possible next step.

Enjoy your night! Sounds ideal. I've got no appetite at all. Only eating so I can take pills today.

Waiting for the kids to arrive and trying to find my happy fun Anne face... be nice if this is one of the few times when they don't mention me giving them a baby sibling

[noroomonbroom]

Dontbuy that's exactly how I feel.Although I had a lot of bleeding it was relatively painless bar about 25 mins.Just want the spotting to stop so I know it's all over with rather than have to go back for another scan to find something left behind and then have to have an ERCP and get over that.
Am slighly worried because although some sources say up to 2 weeks is normal quite a few people say they have only had bleeding for a couple of days.
Not sure what to do for the best?

[noroomonbroom]

Oh mouse it is just another reminder isn't it.
I love the bit on the back where they tell you you can still use it til it expires.
Oh well at least it got me my crown stuck back on.

[fluffiny31]

I'm so sorry your going through this mouse. How far along was you?

[MouseLove]

Ah yes dentistry. I'm private so that's not even a bonus. I'll only be using it for prescriptions. But I'm making sure I do. I was just under 10 weeks fluff. X

[Miami81]

Hi all
Hope you are having relatively ok evenings.
We had our rmc appointment today. Waited ages. Doctor was lovely, took the whole thing really seriously. Went through the family history, she said that was why my referral had been accepted. She took all the family miscarriages into account, but also my sisters preeclampsia with her pregnancies. She has taken all my blood (or at least that's how it feels) and I will be back there in a few weeks for a non pregnant scan to check uterus shape and to look for polyps and fybroids. They are focussing on clotting issues. So that's not really a surprise! If I test positive in the first test they will test again in 12 weeks apparently, not sure what I am supposed to do if I get pregnant again before that. Fuck - forgot to ask that. Oh well. If it happens I will just ring the epu and obstetrics and cry and see what they will do with me. She didn't say that we had to wait.
There were pregnant people and babies everywhere but was ok really as it felt like this was maybe a step closer to us getting there.

[TeamLentil]

Hi Miami, that sounds like progress!

I've now got my first AF after the mc. It feels like I've been bleeding for five weeks non stop

[swimchick1980]

Thanks Anne, will check it out. He was last tested around a few months ago. Same as when he was tested 4/5 years ago. We were recommended for ICSI, were about to start but then got pregnant naturally.

I know it must be hard for him but I have to admit I do find it frustrating.

Hopefully they can find out if there is an issue. One of my good friends was the same and had 3 MCs in 6 months, she why into to have 2 DCs within 14 months. I know everyone is different but I really hope you get your happy ending soon. It must be so hard with the kids round, especially asking about a baby sibling . My pizza is eaten, wine and movie half way through!!

noroom my bleeding lasted just over a week (MC c8/9 weeks) and AF came today, pretty much exactly 4 weeks after MC.

[swimchick1980]

Miami definitely sounds like progress and glad the doctor was lovely, makes such a difference. Some can be such a nightmare - my DS had a MC and the doctor said to her "and are you even married?". How the hell is that even that relevant (she was)??

[noroomonbroom]

Miami really pleased it sounds like they were being really thorough and hopefully you get some answers and good news.
It's always the way that you think of questions once out of apts.
Am sure they wouldn't mind a phone call to find out what you should do,esp if they didn't say to wait.

[noroomonbroom]

Sorry 'pleased' was really the wrong word.Just meant the you may get answers and a way forward.

[MouseLove]

Noro I forgot to mention my experience with bleeding, I miscarried a week ago today (and today has been total shit for the emotions) but I stopped bleeding probably Wednesday. I was spotting a tiny bit Wednesday, and have left nothing on a pad since Sunday, only when I wipe. Very weird but I didn't really bleed lots at all. I spotted Tuesday last week, Wednesday it was very light when I wiped, then became heavier Thursday but only really when wiping. Friday I was in agony all day until the evening when I miscarried, bleeding slowed right down around a few hours before it happened. Then I didn't really lose a lot after. I felt very tender and delicate until Wednesday too. I'm just really hoping my scan on Saturday shows it's all gone and I'm looking "smooth" as the nurse suggested. 🙄🤔

[swimchick1980]

For those of you who've had your AF post MC, is your AF the same as before or different? Pre MC, sore boobs a couple of days before AF arrived (and always prayed it meant BFP), started off with light bleeding, sometimes would even go away for a couple of days then got super excited about BFP then stomach cramps and heavy bleeding maybe 4/5 days after initial light bleed. This AF (my first post MC) had been heavy (not ridiculously) from day one with no stomach cramps or sore boobs. Loving the no pain and clear sign of AF rather than false hope each time, but not sure whether a good sign or not .

[fluffiny31]

Miami sounds like you had some good news and I'm so glad that they sound thorough and taking you seriously. Fingers crossed for your next pregnancy.

[88claire]

First AF post miscarriage I believe started this morning.

My cycle length has reduced (28 instead of 45ish). But I'm worried as its only been 6 days since I ovulated.

Still can't help feeling a bit disappointed as we did try this cycle.

Oh well at least the doctor won't tell me off for going against their advice not to try until AF comes.

[MouseLove]

Claire don't beat yourself up. Give yourself time and your body time to recover. It's a big thing. Sending hugs. X

Can I ask ladies, my in-laws, parents and siblings knew our happy news before our sad. My parents and sister have been wonderful and supportive. I've had flowers off my parents and work sent a huge bunch with a card from my colleagues (feel better soon kinda messages as they don't know) and I've had 1 phone call off the in laws. My MiL said "these things happen, ah well" and nothing more. I've had another friend completely ignore my message and have a go at DH for upsetting them. Granted they did have a very early miscarriage last month but still, we were not asking for support. They were meant to be our best friends. I've told 2 other people, both have been wonderful. Am I expecting too much?

[theotherendofthesockportal]

@MouseLove I found that people all reacted differently to our sad news. I was the most let down by my sister who had insisted she wanted to come to my scan etc, started buying clothes even though I told her not to, the when I had the mmc she actually told me she couldn't come and see me as she didn't know what time she was getting up as she was having a night out. She is 28 years old!!

But to balance things out I have had a lot of support from other people. One friend drove half way across the country as she wanted to just sit with me and make me cups of tea.

One of the biggest supports was this website. The information the hospital gave me was crap, they just said go home, wait for it to happen and expect it be like a heavy period. If it wasn't for the good folk here I probably would have thought I was dying.

Sending you some positive thoughts.

[TeamLentil]

swimchick and claire, my af so far is being rather light and I've had some cramps but no sore boobs. But I also only ovulated about a week ago, which is a bit strange.

mouse, I like sock have got all sorts of different responses. I find some people just don't know what to do so they just pretend it's not happening but it's not out of malice or indifference but awkwardness I think.

[88claire]

Thanks Mouse and *Lentil
*
The bleeding has stopped now it's just this yucky brown stuff so I wonder if I'm still clearing out since the miscarriage. Who knows but I hope next cycle is easier to read!

I've found everyone's reactions are different... People at work aren't sure what to say so have just said 'im sorry to hear your news' and got on with it which I appreciate. My dad was extremely upset he's always wanted grandchildren and everyone else has been supportive. My best friend dropped everything to come and sit with me while I sobbed.

Hope you are all holding up ok. It's such a shit thing to go through and I think anyone who goes through it and comes out the other side with a positive outlook is amazing!

[Crazyvaperlady]

Hi all
Another bad day today, feel so low and down and I know I'm annoying people around me with my TTC chat, but it's like verbal vomit, I can't keep it in. Currently sat here sobbing my eyes out cos OH has just told me to stop going on about how much I want a baby, and it'll happen when it happens . I'm literally at rock bottom emotionally and don't know what to.do anymore

[Owl1011]

Oh crazy I'm sorry you're having such a bad day and you're upset. It's such a horrible situation but sometimes you do need to talk about it to help you cope with it all. I'm sure everyone understands that you need to talk but OH's response doesn't seem very helpful at the moment. Look after yourself and maybe treat yourself this weekend to something you love doing, you deserve it