#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided – all welcome!

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!
Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

Thank you for welcoming me here.

Shoes Thanks for your tips and suggestions. Flights Brussels - Copenhagen are scarcer than yours, there is one cheap flight per day and 4 with a standard airline, so I'll have to decide how to proceed. As you say, "Sod's Law" (to be honest, never heard that expression, but then, I'm not a native speaker so I'm actually thankful for new expression in my vocabulary) is not to be taken lightly. But the idea with booking hotels in advance with free cancellation is really good! Accommodation in general is rather expensive there (whether hotels or Airbnb), I went there in November (combo of a city trip and a first visit to the clinic), so booking in advance could help my budget.
I'd love to hear your suggestion re hotels and restaurants. I'm going to Sellmer Clinic, it is in the southern part of the city, close to the shopping centre Fields. I actually don't care if the hotel is nearby, as long as the metro is nearby.

I have to say that going to the clinic for a that first interview (and not doing it by phone) helped me a lot. I felt more sure and confident. It was very pleasant conversation and it made my plan felt much more real and attainable. Also, I took a close friend with me, so then we could discuss it at lengths, which was very therapeutic.

Nightreader not cheesy at all. I'm very grateful to find you.

By the way, has any of you tried acupuncture as a supporting "treatment" before doing the IUI? I've read some studies and opinions, but I'm still undecided. I'm rather sceptical about the philosophy behind it, but I can imagine that it could positively stimulate blood flow in the area.

And one more thing - any suggestions on how to decrease the level of stress/nervous anticipation/nervousness before the first IUI? In general I have anxiety issues with first-time experiences. when it comes to almost everything, really. I have a feeling that I will feel like I used to before exams at school.

late listen to me: put this added pressure to the deepest darkest corner of your mind - I had a similar issue and it preyed on my mind - my AF got delayed and voila = self-fulfilling prophecy!!! Chillax - your time will come.
sorry I tell people what to do for a job

paisley by the time I got to the actual IUI I was so used to my fanjo being poked that I was not nervous about the physical aspect so much but the monumentus event that was taking place... I am much more blase now of course (9 attempts) but I still get emotional at times.

Paisley, I got so nervous earlier this month, a week before my first IUI (the ladies on this thread will remember...). I was doing fine the months prior to that, feeling really empowered by the whole preparation and then suddenly when the day was getting closer i got really nervous. I couldn't explain why as it wasn't about the procedure itself (I had a good rehearsal with the hycosy in December!) but maybe more about the fear of failing to spot my LH surge and definitely a lot of excitement too, like when you book a dream trip months before and it's finally there and you worry you'll miss the plane or need your appendicitis removed!!!

But funnily, as soon as I started going to the clinic for the scans (every other day) I felt all was under control and all nervousness stopped.

That week when I was nervous, I started drinking a glass of red wine in the evening and did a lot of hard breathing too! Talking it through with friends (including this group) also helped.

paisley hi and welcome! I don't think I said that to you previously!

I'm a big believer in acupuncture as well as reflexology and reiki. Hey, maybe it's the placebo effect but I'm calmer, more centred, feel better than I have in my life, less stressed, my sleep quality and duration has improved dramatically as well. Look around, find a fertility specialist, find a doctor you're comfortable with, who is warm and nurturing and will be your advisor/therapist/cheerleader all in one. I've been doing it for 8mths now and will continue to do it till my ivf is successful and I'm 14wks in.

My doc is great as she did the whole ivf thing herself, and has twin girls as a result, so she totally gets it, the ups and downs, the sheer strain of needing a fertility clinic.

Try it, see if you like it.

pez I'm at that stage now of trying to spot my lh surge and slightly stressed
About missing it - I thought you seemed quite cool before your iui I must go back through chat and see what advice people gave you! I don't really drink so just keep peeing, looking at my calendar and reading MN

Hello paisley welcome to the journey x

pez just re- read thread and saw you described waiting to ovulate as excruciating - yep sums up especially as I thought it would be today!

TWW nearly at an end for you got my fingers crossed for you when you next test.

mari how are you and your partner finding the TWW? X

caution how is diet going? X

You're right hoping, I was fine for the IUI, it was a couple of weeks before that I was stressing out!
I successfully detected my surge for the 4 months preceding the IUI but when things go real I was convinced I would just miss it!

The strips do work, you'll see that once you get your first +. I was very sceptic a first too

I bought the digital CB this month but I think it confused me further as I got my + on strips 12h after my + on digital.

Crossing posts!
Thanks hoping, my temperature had started to drop this morning so I don't have much hope left...

I'll test tomorrow night when I'm with one of my friends as I'm so scared of testing again!!

Paisley - of the hotels that I stayed at there are two that I would recommend:

Hotel Danmark (10 mins walk to the main train station)
This is currently closed for refurbishment though so the prices will probably go up

Hotel Christian IV (10 mins walk to Kongens Nytorv metro)
There are often good deals available here

This time last year I was paying between £60–£80 a night for hotels of this sort of standard (in the summer holidays it went up to £200 a night). There are much cheaper options if you are willing to stay in a 2* hotel with a shared bathroom or in a hostel. I decided to treat myself because I wanted everything to be as non-stressful as possible, and I generally don't like other people so the idea of a shared bathroom...

My favourite restaurant is Tivolihallen on Vester Voldgade because it serves good honest Danish food at very reasonable prices (a main course here is half the price of most Copenhagen restaurant prices) and the staff are absolutely lovely. Its one of those places where you feel ok eating on your own. And the food is all really fresh and quite healthy (lots of fish).

pez good luck for tomorrow.

Slightly confused from your answer though. I have been using cheapies last three months and then a digital as it gets close to ovulation day- mine have been in sync each month. Which one do I believe if one shows positive and one shows negative first -eek?

Anyone else use both and have had similar experience to pez? Which one did you trust?

I was just reading through a thread about women TTC first cycle - most of them not using opks and going with when they think or when app said. Ones who have used opks couldn't find positive so just DTD all month - I nearly commented to say think how hard it is to rely on that opk result and have to bank a couple of £k on it! I didn't comment as realised it's just me being frustrated waiting for Ovulation

So October, November,Dec I used internet cheapies-got positive each month but always kind of thought is the line dark enough etc then 2nd lh surge in Dec (had one beginning and end) I used clear blue & just loved the smiley face which was no is it isn't it etc, this month I've used clear blue so far but this afternoon used both and both negative -lh surge is due tomorrow as is almost always on CD14- at work it's easier to use clear blue as can put on the cap and then put in pocket (nice I know!!) lunchtime is usually when I get my positives but plan to try when get home too to do an experiment. I'll let u know......either way CD 14 has been the day regardless of which one I used.

Good luck tomorrow pez what is ur temperature meant to do when preg?

Thanks pickle guess I'll go one the clear blue one as you are right I can slip in pocket with lid on. CD15 tomorrow so fingers crossed xx

karen do I remember right that you said you would be ovulating soon too? X

On OPKs

I use the cheap OPKs alone until the day before I think it'll go positive and then I add the Clearblue tests for around 5 tests per cycle.

It's important to do that. I've had cycles where the cheapie only looked about 95% at the point the Clearblue gave me a smiley.

The smiley tests are easier to handle because there's no wondering whether it's positive or not! Definitely worth the expense.

It's meant to stay up pickle . I've looked at previous cycles and my temp has been dropping at day 12 and 13 of luteal phase and then AF

I read about the triphasic pattern where after implantation there is another layer of higher temps and I was having this so far. TBH my temps are a bit all over the place as I struggle to sleep more than 3h in a row these days!!

What is wrong with me? Sitting here crying softly as not ovulated and my mum told me not to think about it and it will happen- how can I not think of it when I need to pee to find out if I am?

Sorry I've been mia. My puppy is keeping me very busy ......and tired! And holy cow! This thread is moving so fast, I've missed so much. I'll try to catch up, but for now-

Hoping I found the most stressful part of the cycle was waiting for my lh surge. Just remember it will happen. You will catch it. Stress can delay it so just have faith in your testing and know that you'll be moving forward soon.

Re opks- I use the cheapies. The ones I get are called easy @ home, and are sensitive to 25 units. The clearblue digital smiley face ones are sensitive to 40, so I only show positive on those about 6-8 hours after ,y positive on the cheapies. I've still tracked on my off cycles, more so I can pair the positive test with what I am noticing going on with my body. I've gotten pretty good at know when I will be about to get a positive. But my first few cycles I used sooooo many tests! I've also noticed with my sticks that it's the speed at which the colour develops. For my surge I get a colour change almost right away.

Hi hoping. I am missing so many messages! Need to sit down and go back through this current thread again. But yes, I did ovulate last week. Should get af next week and hopefully get going on an iui cycle. I'm hopping that my day 3 lands on the weekend. It would just make my life so much easier!!

kwick how are you feeling? You have a scan again soon, don't you?

Hello to all the new ladies, sorry I haven't said hi. Promise to catch up as soon as this crazy 12 week old puppy lets me get some sleep!! X

Sorry pez you were day 12 today? You could still get a positive. I got my last one on day 13 and it was a squinter. My fingers are still crossed for you.

Pez good luck with test.

Kwick good luck with scan.

Kwick - thinking of you today. You've had such a long wait. What time's your scan?

Pez - good luck with testing again today. Crossing my fingers for you.

Hi Karen, yes I'm day13 now but chickening out to test again! My temps seem to be going down, although still above coverline (probably due to progesterone supplements). Will re-test tonight if I feel brave enough and if not, I'm having the blood test tomorrow anyway.
I'm ok really, it was always going to be a massive stroke of luck to get it 1st time!!
The annoying thing is that I've been cramping so much since the IUI and so bloated too, and waking up every morning at 4am, I hope it won't be like that every month! I guess a lot of this is down to nervousness, next cycle(s) should be easier in that respect.

I'm off to Manchester for a conference today (staying overnight) so I've packed my suitcase full of FRER and tampons!

I guess that on the bright side, if it hasn't worked, we'll be cycle buddies in February!!

Who else is doing IUI/IVF in Feb??

Kwick, hope scan goes well today xx

Hoping, are you taking conception vitamins? My second cycle charting I got to day 15 without ovulating (I'm normally 12 or 13 max) and like you it was driving me crazy. I found out the vit B6 was stopping me from ovulating, I stopped Pregnacare, switched to folic acid and vit D only and o'd 2 days later on day 17, making it the longest cycle I've had in 4 years of AF tracking! All went back to normal after that.
Stress can also delay everything...

Thanks shoes and witch, just seen your posts (missed them while typing my super long post!!)

pez that's really interesting I've been taking folic and vit D tablets since October. I ran out last week and bought pregnacare - not sure if will make difference but will pick up more folic and vid D tablets today ( I thought I was doing my body a favour getting the more expensive pregnacare)

Jesus Mary and Jose! That was one of the most traumatic experiences if my life. Thank God there was good news at end.

• scanner was silent for a long while then said she could see 2 egg sacs
• silent for another while, said very hard to see due to my retro something uterus
• I started crying from the stress
• had to get dressed to go to another scan room
• lots of silence then confirmatio only one sac, what they thought was a fetal pole and heartbeat
• told to go empty my bladder (seriously it filled up in 20 minutes!)
• scanned again - all good news confirmed, more crying
• told to rescan in 2 weeks
• lots more crying

I am exhausted... glad that I have a busy work day to get through.

Should read Joseph