#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided – all welcome!

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!
Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

That's exciting Cherry!

Best wishes and good luck cherry!

Best of luck cherry - I'll keep everything crossed!

witch there are aspects of my job I truly love however the time pressure and the 24/7 nature is very draining. Also the travel just means I have no personal life to mention.
There are a couple of things, which will detrimentally affect others if not done, that I could not sort before MC. That is what is stressing me... I had another awful nights sleep. Trying to find energy now to get out of bed and sort but not getting very far...

cherry fx for your lh surge 🤞🏼

Kwick if it will help you switch off, start with doing one of the things, but do not get sucked into looking at emails and adding to your list. However, only do this if you really think it will help you switch off. I'm guessing the "detrimental effect" isn't life or death?

To offer some moral support, I'm being an idiot stressing about work at the moment. I procrastinated for hours last night, lay in bed for three hours but woke up every time I feel asleep, and then got up and came into the office early. I've got to see an auditor at 10 and I REALLY have to get some things doe before then. Can that be you cut-off point too?

I would point out agin though, you're signed off for a reason. Would you expect anyone else to work under those circumstances?

I hear you on the travel, my last job change fixed that and it does help. And the long hours I'm still struggling with but not everyone here works like I do so that's my problem. So bloody hard to change though.

kwick my lovely, you are signed off for a reason. Your manager should have sorted someone to cover your role while your off,yes they may not do it as well but someone should be there so you need to concentrate on yourself. You wouldn't be much good being there at the moment anyway and more likely to make mistakes so try to push it out your head xx

I was in the middle of sorting someones termination pay - no one has full details except me.
I was in middle of hiring a new manager as above.
My boss asked me to sort cover - For new requests my counterpart is handling again - but she has no history on other things.
I am still in bed. Have to get up at some stage as have follow-up scan today at EPU.

kwick a few years ago I burnt myself out at work and had to be off for four months with stress. I went back to another job as I had previously took time off and when I came back no one had touched my work so I came back stressed to more. Out of 8 staff I was reduced to 3 and one of the 8 had died so I had to deal with as well. I would get in a 7 in morning work all day often wth no lunch leave work at 8 and log back on at home until 10/11. I couldn't sleep knowing what needed to be done so would wake up about 3/4 and do some work before getting into work for 7.

I never felt I could properly have time off as no one understood issues or could do them.

A year of doing this and I cracked. What did I learn from this?

1. my job was cut into three roles
2. people picked it what was needed
3. no one truly appreciated what I gave to that job

I gave so much to that job with a real detriment to me and my health ( and my personal life - my 30 th was spent busy with work and crying on my own in evening as I worked late and friends didn't understand and. Got annoyed with me and cancelled my bday drinks)

My advice: sod work have a break. You might know the detail better but someone else can still solve it.

Oh Kwick, I'm sorry about the EPU. Handhold for that.

It sounds like your manager needs to step up and help you sort those things. That is one of the things she's paid for, even if you have others you can delegate to.

I would be exactly the same re knowing the detail. But if the company has a (rough!) formula for termination pay someone else can work it out the same way you would? No doubt the person being terminated will shout if they think it's wrong.

And re hiring, someone else can pick that up, regardless of what stage it's at. Very simple to apologise to the candidate and hiring manager for anything they need to repeat, but people understand that other people sometimes have to have time off through no choice of their own.

Will be thinking of you today.

Hi pez

Sorry, I didn't look back at the thread until this morning. They don't expect you to test if AF has come, so DP didn't go in.
Re: follow ups, we never did a 3 cycle package (the saving isn't very significant, and if you get pregnant on cycle 1 or 2, the loss of money is!) We have done pay as you go for all 6, and have always had a free follow up (but, as I said, booked through the nurses rather than the receptionists). A couple of our follow ups have been on the phone, but all the rat in person.

We are actually planning to change clinics now, so have just emailed our admin team asking for all our notes. After 6 unsuccessful cycles, it feels like the right time for a change. There is a fertility clinic within walking distance from our house, so we're going to try there
The reason we didn't start there is that they are much more expensive than Create for IUI (c. 30/40% more). However, for IVF the cost is the same (and we will save money, time, and stress by not constantly flogging into London). We are also a bit disillusioned with our current clinic - after 6 disappointments, it's hard to believe that they will be the ones to give us a child. I know that's irrational, but it's how we feel.
So, new clinic, new treatment plan, new sperm donor (again ) and new start in the Ammerman household over the next couple of months.

Good luck at the EPU today kwick
I'm sorry your employers are being a bit dickish. DP and I are lucky in that respect; we have both been well-supported in the workplace through all of this so far.

Also hi to pickle, witch, shoes, snork, karen, and anyone else! The thread moves so fast I can't always keep track.
Is your test today karen? Good luck.

Hope your appointment goes ok kwick xx

Ooh karen is it test day?

Hi all xx

Thanks ladies - I appreciate you sharing. A cursory look at my emails looks like hiring thing has been picked up, and I only got info on Friday for termination. No standard policy - it is a negotiated exit and I am trying to protect this individual- hopefully can sort very fast later on.

miri tell me more about requesting notes? Did not know you could do that... will do the same; need to research IVI in Spain some more.

Major achievements from today:

• had a bath
• contact council about a bill they have not sent for £11k - looks like it will not come for a while
• did quick check of work emails
• had breakfast

One step at a time - right?

Thanks Miri, that's very useful to know. I'll insist on a follow up next month if needed. I didn't go for the blood test either (I'm having the worst AF is years!) and I don't feel I'm ready to change protocol at this stage so there's no real need for a consultation I guess
I can't blame you for losing hope with the clinic - getting one closer to yours will seems like a fresh start! Create is only 5/10min from my work so it's so convenient. With any other central London clinic I would need to let my manager know about appointments whereas at the moment I can just pop out for a 'walk' and nobody suspects anything!

I read on their price list yesterday that you can get medical records for £50.

Good luck Cherry!

Hi everyone else and kwick, you've been busy indeed!!

Hi kwick

I have just emailed the clinic to tell them that we are going elsewhere and asked for them! No idea what will come back. However, I figure that our new clinic will need them to have a proper picture of our history (all of DP's precise blood results, follicle sizes etc). I assume it's a standard thing to do because our current clinic (the one we are leaving) states somewhere on its website that if you have had previous treatment they want the notes from the other clinic. Will let you know how it goes.

Hello all

kwick nice to see you back, virtual hugs for the EPU. Xoxo

So I am exactly £34 short of spending £12,000 on treatment, as I've just paid the meds and donor invoice for round 2. I'm going to be paying it off till I go on Mat leave at this rate.

But this is it, last prepaid go, so if this doesn't work, I'll save hard and I will shoot off to Cyprus for a short protocol ivf. Fingers crossed.

£12k? Ouch, painful, and yes I know I won't mind when I have a baby, but I think it'll still smart a little!

miri this sounds like a sensible plan. A clinic close by, especially for ivf, really takes the pressure off.

Nope, I'm only 8dpiui. I have poas. Lol. Of course it was negative. I knew it would be but still had that hope I could be one of those ridiculously early implanters. So af should arrive next weekend. My otd is next week sometime, but I meet with a new re this Thursday so I will see what he says. I'm with you on switching clinics. I had no problem getting my file sent the last time I switched. I won't be repeating any tests that I've already had. Still not out this cycle so we shall see.

kwick I hope you get your work stuff sorted quickly and then not think about it for the rest of your time off. Just keeping putting one foot in front of the other. X

I never want to have to go there again.
Miscarriage confirmed. Looks like no pregnancy tissue remains.
I am drained.
Dr said if do not wait for my next period before TTC again then I have a higher chance of another MC. Yep like I am just going to stumble across a vat of magic potion.
Sorry to be on a downer.

Hugs Kwick - let's hope you never will have to go back x

Stork - can I be nosey and ask how many cycles that was for? I read your post during my lunch break and had a panic attack. I'm only working part time at the moment and I'm not sure I can afford this process and still have enough to look after the baby too.

Wish I had a vat of magic potion (although bleurgh at the actual thought of that).

Why do people on public transport stink so much? On way back have had: skunk, macdonalds, and now unwashed for weeks male. This is how I feel - as in I am about to vom

I'm sure that wasn't pleasant for you kwick. I'm so sorry you had to go in for a final scan. Stupid dr too. Big hug from across the ocean.

Sorry you've had to go through that today Kwick. It's so cruel

I'm with you on the public transport thing. There's always someone or other being grim

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that Kwick. Sending virtual hugs.

A new clinic sounds like a positive next step Miri. It'll at least make you both feel that you are being proactive.

I got my smile this morning and the IUI is booked for tomorrow at 1pm. The nurse has requested a half full bladder, but has asked to try and not be too full! I'll get right on that! I'm going to have to take a wild stab in the dark as to how much water to drink.
Any last minute tips from those that have experienced IUIs before?

kwick sending you big hugs. 100% agree with public transport.

Best of luck tomorrow cherry my clinic advised to drink 1 litre of water before appointment if that helps? It meant I was bursting to go the loo after the 20 mins post iui. Fx xx