10+ months TTC

[Kookie88]

I've just reached cycle 10 and I'm despairing. I've tried to stay focused and positive all this time but it's all gotten a bit much. Each month I've tried something new but nothing seems to be working. (This month is acupuncture month, last month was fertilitea month)!

I guess I just needed to vent I don't want to sound like a total debbie downer but today's been tough!

Forgot to mention this 'AF' has stopped this morning so was 2 days long and no cramps... which I don't know how to take although the positive is my periods before MMC weren't painful so maybe it's a good sign because ever since MMC they have been horrifyingly painful

Hi everyone! Wow, I love that the thread has kept going, sorry I disappeared!

I'm stuck on cycle 10 and I'm losing my mind: AF is 9 days late and keep getting BFNs. My cycles are always very regular, although on the short side (ovulation at CD10 and cycles are 24 days long) and I'm pretty sure the acupuncture has made me skip a period. Oddly, I've been using OPKs and they're looking quite dark. I'm feeling annoyed and confused and just want to get on with things.

Thankfully I managed to book a doctor's appointment for next Tuesday so will insist they start fertility tests. I had excruciating pains in my right ovary last night and I'm worried it's ovarian cysts.

Has anyone else started fertility tests?

Just catching up on the thread now!

keepingfaith sorry about BFN and weird AF - did you test with a FRER though? And have you tested since your bleed? I've heard the red dye ones are better than blue (although no personal experience!)

sk1pper any luck?

Marriage are you charting BBT or using OPKs? It might be useful to see how your temps change and could give you an indication about whether or not your ovulating. Sounds incredibly frustrating so I hope you'll get some answers soon!

Cola well done on the diet! I wish I had the willpower to steer clear of too much sugar and carbs but I keep caving into my cravings!

Nah I'm out, of course!

Got my blood tests tomorrow and ultra sound on Saturday so at least I'm doing productive while the witch is about.

Hi Ladies,
I was hoping to join your thread as have been TTC for 12 months. Stopped taking the pill just before our wedding in Oct last year and got pregnant straight away but had early miscarriage. Finding it hard that nothing has happened since then. We paid privately for tests in July - bloods and HSG as I had an ectopic preg when 21 (now 31) so don't want to take any chances. Everything came back fine which is a positive but also feel quite helpless that there seems to be nothing to do but sit and wait? I have friends who are going through IVF and are in a dark place and I am very good at giving support (I hope) and being very positive and I know that you have to keep trying and stay upbeat but am struggling again myself. Had a very stressful job managing a team of people that involved lots of travel that I decided to leave after much soul searching as I felt far too stressed and uptight to even think about actually being pregnant and I do feel much more relaxed and happier since being at home. Both me and husband have stopped drinking this month and social smoking and have been eating healthy food like kale and lentils like they're going out of fashion and cut right back on caffeine in a bid to try to give ourselves best possible chance without being 'obsessed' but obviously it is v difficult when it is something that we all want so badly. Have used OPK's before and always seem to be v regular and get solid face bang in the middle of cycle but this month have had flashing faces only and still getting today when AF is due tomorrow?! I guess all we can do is carry on trying x

margo you are going for gold!!!! I'm in awe!!

chloe hello, welcome! So sorry to hear about your mmc. I think this group is fab because all us ladies are in the same boat in terms of frustration of trying and the cycle of craziness that is each cycle, 2wws, trying to "relax" (most annoying advice I get from friends & family!) and trying to keep optimistic and sane. Just the solidarity and humour here alone are a tonic I have had a hardcore year with work too with travel and stress, just eased off in September so hoping that makes all the difference for us. Work can be so consuming!!

faith sorry about the bfns. Another cycle, another shot, fx xxx

skipper sorry the witch is here, the hag! fx for this next one xxx

kookie hello, haven't had fertility tests but thinking about them just to have one less thing to worry about. I haven't much clue where to start but think I'll leave it til Jan.

Off to bed for me now, exercise at 6:15am

Thank you for the welcome. I thought it would be good to get some support from some ladies in a similar position and hopefully also offer some helpful support back in return :)

Exercise at 6.15? That is good going! Do any of you ladies do yoga? I tried bikram a few weeks ago and felt amazing after although have since read it can affect ovulation?! Wasn't sure if that was too much googling!

Have any of you read any good books you'd recommend to help the process? Thanks ladies xx

Chloe - welcome, I'm starting yoga next Thursday, I'll let you know how it goes. Found out they do it at work, bonus!

Ah great! I found it really relaxing and it was fun to try something new. Have been going to the gym a lot as trying to lose weight so the yoga was a nice change. x

Are there special poses for fertility or does it all generally improve circulation in that region? :) sorry total yoga noob

The yoga teacher did say that certain moves were good for the reproductive system and also mentioned the thyroid quite a lot and hormone balance which would obviously help but I think it's just good for relaxing and puts your head in a good space. I've only done one class though so I'm no expert ha ha

You are intriguing me with this talk of yoga, I think I will jump on this bandwagon!

Morning ladies! Positive OPK for me this morning... Our method of DTD morning and evening lasted 2 days - love that you were impressed Cola but we didn't last the distance as we're both aching - ha ha! Picking it up again tonight though

Bit worried about tomorrow, I am meeting up with a bunch of school friends for afternoon tea. We all live all over the country so only manage to all get together once or twice a year. There are 9 of us, 6 have 2 kids, 1 has a DD and is due in Dec with her second, 1 is single and doesn't want kids and there's me... Only one of them knows about us TTC and my MMC as we went to visit her and her family the weekend after my BFP and I confided in her, I am meeting up with her before the others to catch up. I know it is all going to be baby talk because of my friend due in Dec. I am so happy for her as I know she had problems conceiving her first, and suffered a very late miscarriage so don't want to be negative. But its hard, part of me wants to be honest with all of them but I don't want my Fertility to be an open discussion around the table - hmmm! They may not even ask me about kids (think they have all but given up asking!). Have any of you been really open with friends about TTC? What would you do?

Yoga wise, I have been doing Hatha Yoga for 3 months now. I asked before I started about whether it was ok to do while trying for a baby and the teacher said it would be very beneficial. You just have to go to a class specifically for pregnancy once pregnant as some poses can restrict blood flow to the uterus. My Hatha class involves holding each pose for a few minutes rather than a flowing sequence (we do start with sun salutations though). Our studio is small so the max is 6 people, because of this the teacher is able to come round and corrects us to make sure we have the right alignment. I love it!

Faith Sorry about your bfp pick yourself up, brush yourself down and onto the next cycle... Great that you had no pain from AF this month, FX it's your body settling down after your MMC. Keep up the positivity!

Kookie the original poster to this thread, so nice to see you and thank you for starting up what has turned into a great board of support for us all Good idea going to the docs, does sound like your body is confused, surely the acupuncture is supposed to help not much things up?

Sk1pper Good luck with the bloods today and ultrasound tomorrow fx they give you some solvable answers

Chloe sorry about your MMC many of us on here have had similar issues so you are in the right place for support and sharing experiences/learning from each other! Great that you have had tests and they are fine, sounds like you're doing all the right things like quitting your stressful job, it's just a matter of time... as it seems with all of us. Some people have to wait longer for their little bundle of joy than others, difficult when you are impatient like me though! Keep positive and you'll get there!

Thank crunchie it's Friday!

Thanks for the welcome Margo. I've been quite open with my friends as I've seen a close friend of mine really go through it when TTC and she adopted the approach of not really talking about it or openly admitting they even wanted a baby and I think it actually made it harder for her but I guess it was her defence mechanism. I tend to keep it short and sweet and positive and say something like 'yeah we're still trying at the moment, we'll get there.' I'm sure if they're good friends they won't probe any further if you are not comfortable to do so. It is quite hard though in those circumstances... will be nice when we can be part of it as I do tend to feel a bit left out/left behind when meeting up with my friends who have all got babies.

Hatha yoga sounds interesting, it is different to normal yoga? My only concern with the bikram is that it's in a really hot room which I then read could upset your ovulation cycles. Even when you're doing something that's meant to be good for you seems it's not lol. Think I might just stick with normal yoga for now x

Sk1pper sorry to hear you're out! But good thing about getting your blood tests and ultrasound! Is it through the NHS? I'm so worried my GP will tell me to just stick with it - but I'm going to push for tests as I'm getting so sick of this.

Cola Wow, exercise at 6.15am? That is impressive! Wish I had the willpower to do that!

Chloe someone on another thread recommended The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant but haven't read it myself so I don't know if it's of any help.

Margo Hello! Sending you lots of positivity for tomorrow: it's really hard to be surrounded by baby talk. I've been open with some of my close friends, but every time I've told someone, I've regretted it. I don't feel like they've been supportive: it feels like they're either prying, jealous or tell me to 'relax' - none of which is very helpful obviously. So I've decided to not tell anyone anything anymore - although I must say that now the TTC journey feels even lonelier. So if they are good friends, maybe they will be supportive and it might be nice for you to get things off your chest?

And yes, acupuncture is supposed to help (my friend just got pregnant after 14 cycles TTC after two rounds of acupuncture) - but sometimes it can apparently 'reset' your cycle and mess things up for a while. Apparently it's nothing to worry about unless it becomes a regular occurrence but I'm now 10 days late and given up all hope of even trying until AF arrives even though my OPKs looked near-positive the other day...

Kookie - yep all through NHS, they put you in for a series of tests before you are referred. I have day 3 and 21 bloods, another blood test, an external and internal ultrasound and need to get swabs done. OH has sperm analysis.

I was turned away from the docs at 12 months, waited another 2 then went to see a different doctor who didn't even bat an eyelid. Just put me in for it all right away. If you go, add some extra months onto your time TTC just to be safe and say you're having loads of sex fertile week. Should be enough :)

Welcome all newcomers,

keepingfaith I hope you are feeling better after weird AF.

Cola I love the idea of dressing up your DD as cat, very cute!

Sk1pper i'm out too started spotting yesterday and some today.

Margo I hate talking baby crap with people who don't understand, this happens a lot at work at the moment lots of pregnant women running around.

Chloe sorry to hear about your mmc.

Kookie Acupuncture scares me but I guess it could be worth it for a bfp.

Marriage Hi!

Does any one else have these weird phases of menstrual cycles where for months each cycle will be over 30 days and phases where each cycle is closer to 26-28 days? This will be around 4 to 5 cycles consecutively.

I started spotting yesterday and wondered if it could be implantation bleeding as it is still just spotting today. However logic tells me its just pre-period spotting which I normally get before AF. My average cycle according to FF is 31 days although in the past 12 months has been anything from 26-36. anyone else use FF. I cant be arsed to temp as i'm a lazy cow who doesn't want to get up.

mauw Fx it is ib.if not over the weekend. My cycles have also gone haywire ever since ttc. I normally have 28 days but now it can even be 24 and l once had a 19 day cycle (it's crazy )

skipper hope your visit to the doc's went well and sorry for af.here is hoping that this is your month.

Hie kookie sorry the cycle is being longer than it should. Fx it will be good news. Do you ever have late af?

Hie chloe,best of luck hun.

Well done on keeping up with the dtd margo.Fx one swimmer gets lucky. I bruised dh with lots of dtd lol but glad that I am 1dpo so we can take a break.

I wish I had your willpower too cola.l really need to workon my weight for a function in the 1st week of December. How are you though?

keeping thinking of you dear and hope you are ok.

Hi all, sorry I'm on holiday this week so not been on Internet much. When we planned this holiday I was hoping it would give us some good baby-making time, but that was wishful thinking with these stupid cycles!

Sk1pper sorry you're out for this one! Fingers crossed though for the next!

mauw fingers crossed for you too! It could be ib but if not, as Mimi says, use the opportunity to have a weekend drink!

Cola I am so impressed with your exercise! I bet it'll make you feel much better about it all. And it can only be good for your body!

chloe hello!! So sorry about your MC. Your idea of just being honest with friends is refreshing.

margo I told my three closest friends when we started trying (I'm just a sharer by nature) but explained about coming off depo and how it can take ages for cycle of reestablish itself. They've been a godsend, they've never pried or even asked about it unless I brought it up first. They've even covered for me e.g drinking my wine at parties when I thought i might be in a fertile window. But it's whatever you're comfortable with, no friend should really ask and if they do you can just avoid the question and if they repeat it just give them a raised eye brow like, 'seriously?!'. It would be a very brazen friend who kept asking then!

*Kookie cycles are such a pain! Did you say you're normally pretty regular? My sister has 2 dc, and she told me that when TTC dc1 she randomly totally missed her period in the cycle BEFORE she got pregnant (and it definitely wasn't just early pregnancy, the dates checked now out). She was then gutted and when she missed the following one she got BFN until day 5 after it was due. Then BFB. Healthy pregnancy and baby, just one of those unexplained things. So take heart!

BFP sorry!

I did my session this morning, squatting with weights for a lot of it and feeling the burn right where I needed it - my butt! The thing with my job is I'm sitting so much, I have to do some working out or I pile pounds on. When I work out hard it means I behave eating wise through the next days as I recall the utter horror of how rough I felt doing the exercise. Wish I could be one of those people that loves working out, it definitely doesn't come naturally

I'm feeling super laid back this month about TTC - still massively want my BFP, I don't think I can be bothered with OPKs, just gonna go with the flow, shag loads over the next 8 - 9 days and hope for the best!!!

mimi waiting game now? Good luck xx
margo I hope tomorrow goes well, totally one of those difficult situ's when trying but maybe it will just be a nice catch-up with friends. I've told a few friends who have been lovely, but TTC is so isolating because it's so intense and i think only others going through it at same time feel like those that truly "get it".
marriage enjoy the hols x
skipper thanks for those tips for docs, filing that away for Jan when I have my deadline in my head for getting tests x

mauwmauw I've had a bit of that cycle weirdness too. I put mine down to stress.

kookie have you tried acupuncture? It's one of those things I've heard about but never considered. Interested to hear anyone's experiences of it.

I'm zonked now, have a lovely night all x

Mauw - ahh sorry to hear you're out too. My cycles can vary between 26-29 days, and cycle before last was a shoddy 24 days. Though because I'm tracking everything I can normally work out the reason for it. My longest cycle was when I went abroad for fertile week and ovulated late (I guess due to the heat?) and my shortest cycle was when I drank raspberry tea without realised it induces AF. So, the smallest thing can fuck up cycles, I wouldn't worry too much.

Cola - it's great you have the mental discipline to keep going even though you dislike it. I know what you mean regarding desk jobs, they are terrible for posture and circulation and I hate how there is always food everywhere. Any excuse for a finger buffet. I'm lucky I have a insane metabolism, I've never had to watch what I eat but I've realised that just cos I don't pile on the pounds doesn't mean it's not impacting me. Now I ignore all the sugary snacks and take in a ton of fruit to eat...it's rubbish but I feel better for it.

Just posted this but didn't seem to work, apologies if I post twice...

Waiting for my train to London, decided I'm going to be open about TTC if asked by friends but not elaborate unless I feel comfortable.
Thanks for all so much for the advice it's really helped to hear how you guys deal with telling friends. I feel a bit nervous but can't wait to catch up with them all! 

Seems I ovulated yesterday/today as had positive OPKs for both days and my BBT shot up. Typically the one day we didn't DTD was yesterday. I was so tired that by the time DH came to bed after his shower I was out for the count! DTD this morning though Think we're still in with a good chance this month... and may as well try again tonight... FX for us all! Time to join the 2ww with you Mimi!