40+ ttc: the one where we all get knocked up!

[ababsurdum]

Shiny new thread. Here's the link to the previous one.

Arghh there's a whole other page to read through. BBL...

Hello ladies, I've name changed recently but used to be Grizzer. Just wanted to check in & wish you all a happy & successful 2017. I'm 44 & my much longed for & ttc'd seemingly forever for ds turned 1 yesterday. He is an absolute joy & after 3 mcs (one at 18 weeks) it finally happened for me so please don't give up!
Happy New Year to you all xx

Congrats Peach/Grizzer that's lovely news. Happy New Year everyone!

MissyJones83 any sign of your af? No sign here yet. Been very patient not taken test today. Will do tomorrow morning though if no af.

Great to hear some success stories Peach.

Rooting for you guys Pooger/Jones - let's get 2017 off to a positive start!!!

pooger nope no sign yet and now coming down with a cold so feel pretty rotten. I have promised myself if AF is a no show by Sat I will do another test then and not before just because it could be weds until I am due if going by my longest cycle or late xxx

Hi ababs & hi all. Here's hoping for a positive 2017 for all of us.

I've been spotting for a few days & woke up today to full flow, so it's officially CD1. The clinic is shut until Tuesday so I can't register my cycle yet but I'll start stims tomorrow.

So, ababs, our friends with the donor egg children... they have non-identical twin girls. The mum said that the first year was quite emotional for her, as she could see her husband in the girls but obviously nothing of herself, so she felt some jealousy and resentment. Not major, but enough to make it tough at times. She said that once they were over 12m, they started to develop their own personalities and became such a joy to parent that she hasn't thought like that since. I asked if nature or nurture played the biggest part, obviously hoping she'd say 'nurture'. But immediately she said 'oh, definitely nature'. I was a bit gutted! But she explained that one of the girls has a lot of her husband in her, and has also adopted so many of her mum's mannerisms and characteristics that everyone assumes she's her biological child. The other one is a complete mystery to both of them! She must have inherited 100% of her biological mother's looks & personality. I was really worried by this point, wondering how I'd feel if that happened to us. But she went on to say that it doesn't make a blind bit of difference. She said that they love them both equally and intensely, and they are wholly and completely their children and nobody else's. She has no regrets, no second thoughts and said she wouldn't hesitate to do it again.

I spoke to one of my friends who has 4 children, 2 older from her first marriage & 2 little ones with her current husband. I told her about the chat with the donor egg friend, and she totally got it. Of her children, the older 2 have a lot of their dad and none of her. Of her younger 2, the eldest is very much like his dad and the youngest is like none of them! So she said that even in a 100% biological family there are so many differences, and you can never be guaranteed to see yourself in your children. Billy-Joe was the spitting image of me, but that's not to say his 100% sibling would anyway. So.... it gave me food for thought, and I think my views on it are more realistic now and a lot more positive.

Still no af here but very premenstrual. The female body as great as it is, is just badly designed. Waiting for a period every month is just frustrating. Especially if it does not decide to always turn up at same time....who else has greatly varying cycles here?

Caved in this morning and took a test. Negative. Think that is me out this month. Also have strange discomfort where my ovaries/womb are so this must be my af making its way. Never had that discomfort though. Either way I am one day overdue now and negative test with morning wee so I must be not pregnant. :(

Sorry Pooger

My cycle has ranged from 24-30 days over the last year. It seems to be averaging 26 days compared to 27 previously (and regular 28 days when younger).

Fuzzy what a candid and useful chat with your friend, thanks for sharing it. It's great that she was able to be so open with you. I guess it confirms what I already thought that emotionally there would be ups and downs - I wonder whether that would ever truly go away? Good to hear she has no regrets. I'm warming to the idea of donor eggs though dh was not keen the last time we discussed it.

First day of stims for you today. Fingers crossed you are lucky this cycle.

Peach/Grizzer thanks for popping back with inspiration.

It was a very helpful chat, ababs. The twins are now 6 years old, and she said that she hasn't had any conflicting emotions since they turned 12m, so in her experience, it has completely gone away. The girls have been told about it all and the family talk very openly about it. She said that you can get books written for children to help them understand, but her girls started to ask questions about where babies come from before she'd bought a book, so she's managed without. For me & DH the decision is now cemented in our minds. We're SO determined to be parents again, and this really does seem like the best option. We'll get this IVF out of the way so we can say we've done our best with my eggs, and then we're going for it xx

Pooger sorry about AF. I hope you get good news soon. My cycle has varied fm 26-30 this year averaging on 28. I think it's the first half that can vary, depending in part on what's going on more widely. I think the luteal phase tends to be pretty much the same length each month, tho varying a lot between different women. At least that's what I read in the Take Charge of your fertility book. But others will know more. I'm currently trying (and failing!) to temp because I wake up different times/forget and get up, so I don't know how long my LP is.

Like ababs said thanks for sharing the conversation with your friend Fuzzy. It sounds really constructive and great she cd be so open and specific. Great that you have this plan for 2017. Good luck with stimms in the meantime.

Good luck Missy if you're still reading. Pies, Ababs, Cthul, Ali, City, Tober and eggcup how are you doing?

pooger I'm exactly the same rushed to the bathroom in IKEA today thinking AF had arrived but nope...positive it's on the way!

Thanks clara still checking in

Hope you don't mind me posting. Just wanted to post a New Year positive story. I used to be on the 40+ thread. Had a mmc at 9 weeks aged 40, then took 18 months to conceive my DD, she was born when I was 42 and I then had a surprise pregnancy (complete surprise!!) at 43 and recently gave birth to a healthy DD.

As my Dr said it only takes one egg to make a baby! Good luck!

Took another test this morning and I think there is a very faint line. Trying not to get my hopes up since had faint line in July followed by period within depressingly minutes.

Here is another photo. Now looks a lot more positive.

I can see both lines fx this is the month for you!!!

Maybe! Trying not to get hope up since been late, had positive test followed by mc, a faint line followed by af over the last 12 months. However, with dd2 I never ever managed to get a different test then a faint line and the electronic ones kept in telling me I was not pregnant even though I obviously was pregnant. One doctor even sent me packing with a bleed early on telling me I was not pregnant and pretty much telling me not to waste his time. Was very upset after that.

Pooger definite pink line on the second photo. Fingers crossed for you, tentative congratulations for now.

Pooger, my fingers crossed too! Definite line! I hope everything works out.

Missy, I think you said you got a positive too? Congrats!

Thank you for the positive story too Any ;-)... Enjoy your DDs!

How are you doing Missy? Any af? Any more tests?

Hi pooger no AF yet no but still feel like it's due. No more tests either I'm holding myself back!
clara no I did a test on Sat morning and it was a BFN not sure if I tested too early or what due to irregular cycles since coming off bc so going to wait it out a bit longer

Yay Pooger, I'm keeping everything crossed for you!!

Missy sorry I misunderstood.. I hope your luck will come soon tho!

Hey pooger and Clara

AF came today so thought I'd send you an update...knew it would felt like it would!

Hope all is going well with you pooger xxxxxx