40+ ttc: the one where we all get knocked up!

[ababsurdum]

Shiny new thread. Here's the link to the previous one.

Thank you from me too life and waves to mattsmummy... What a great and hopeful story...

Welcome back MattsMamma. I'm sorry about your chemical, it's really tough

I think I'm 13dpo today. I'm expecting AF imminently, definitely not feeling pg. I hope others are doing better than me!

Fingers crossed for you this month Pies.

Hi there,

I'm a bit of a returner, was on this thread - or similar in 2014 after starting to take aspirin, but sadly 1 chemical and 2 mc's saw me hobble away and gave up. Till now... here's a bit of my story - and hi to everyone here :)

I was diagnosed with unexplained infertility at 34 after a couple of years trying. After round one of ivf I read 'is your body baby friendly' by Dr Alan beer and explored the 'Chicago ' tests that Care fertility at Nottingham do....they wanted us to do 2 more ivf before doing them and we had to really be firm and insist. (We were under dr George ndukwe.)

Turned out I have high nk cells so needed steroids and intrallipids.

We had a further round of ivf that failed as they reduced my meds but shouldn't have (we got no eggs) but round three produced our beatiful son who is now almost 6. I was 38 when I had him.

We decided to try again when I was 42 and as Apirin (75mg) was part of my protocol decided to try taking it. Got pregnant first cycle; chemical pregnancy, fell again second cycle but mc at 8 weeks and after being told care would not support a natural pregnancy with immune drugs tried once more, 3 months later but mc again at 11 weeks.

Decided to stop trying but recently had a change of heart and at 44 visited care to discuss treatment - was devastated to find that they would have supported me if I'd called when I was pregnant - they have no idea why I was told the opposite.

Anyways we are current taking aspirin again and trying to conceive naturally - as soon as we do I'll be back there for the immune drugs and scans etc.

I'm currently post ov day 21 and it's a looooong two weeks! Following previous success we waited 6 weeks to start trying so it's been murder (first month on aspirin I conceived after 1 week of taking it - which we thought might be why the Chem)

Best of luck to everyone
Xxxx

Hi ladies. So, I went for a scan today at six weeks and 2 days. The nurse called me in before they did the scan and asked why I was there so early (er...because they'd asked me to) and said they might not be able to see much. And indeed, they didn't. A tiny embryo (about 2mm) and a yolk sac but no heartbeat. The sonographer and nurse both said that's what they'd expect to see, no need to worry, etc etc and DH, bless him, is rationalising it that I ovulate around CD19 so bound to be showing late for dates but I'm not convinced. Got to go back in two weeks but I'm fearing the worst, especially as bloop and another lady on another board who's exactly the same amount along as me both saw heartbeats.

Sorry Giz. If your hubby is right then maybe it's fine. I saw my little boy's heartbeat at 6+0, but I was absolutely sure of my ovulation date.

If your dates are even 4-5 days out at this stage, it will make all the difference between seeing a heartbeat & not.

I always get really confused over dating stuff. According to my lmp I'm 6 weeks and 2 days but I'm fairly sure (from temps and opks) that I ovulated on CD19. I doubt I've ever ovulated on CD14 in my life! So...I don't know. Does that put me back five days?

Hey giz don't worry just yet. All embryos develop at slightly different rates and most people are told not to expect a heartbeat until 7+weeks. I knew exactly when I'd ovulated and implanted so was confident of my dates but with dd I was told that these early scans can be as much as 5+ days out with dates based on size and if you're not sure of exact ovulation then that makes it harder again. This is why they date a pregnancy at 12 weeks when it's more reliable. It could just be your dates are out or that your wee one is still busy developing. I read so many stories before my scan about people not seeing hb before 7 weeks that I went not expecting to see one at all. I know how easy it is to say don't worry and it changes nothing. Trust that your body knows what to do and give your wee bean a week or so to do it's thing.

I agree with Bloop. Yes, if you ovulated later then you can't possibly have conceived before then. So you're really 5 days behind, plus as Bloop says they all develop at different rates. Your LMP date is used as a guide for now, but once you have your 12/13w scan they will give you a more accurate idea.

I don't practice what I preach, but STAY AWAY FROM GOOGLE!

Thanks, ladies. I guess it's just that, since I had absolutely no clue that anything was wrong last time until a private scan at 8 weeks (two weeks after it had apparently stopped developing), I worry that it's happening again. I know that all I can do is wait and hope for the best, though. I'm a bit annoyed with the hospital, though, as they just about stopped short of telling me I'd wasted my time as it was too early, when it was them that told me to come in today. Oh well.

Gizmojo how worrying for you. Hopefully, as you've said, you ovulated later and you're not as far along as your LMP suggested. Dating from LMP really only works if you ovulate around day 14. Wishing you lots of luck for your follow up scan.

Welcome Safra72. We're the same age and I'm also trying for #2. My ds was conceived when I was 41 after more than a year of trying but it was the first time I had fallen pg and, despite a failed ivf, I didn't have anything like the heartache you have had . Wishing you lots of luck.

AF showed up today so I'm back on cd1. Completely losing hope that this is ever going to happen now. I've only got about 4 cycles left until my next birthday and I throw in the towel.

Sorry about af turning up, ababs, that sucks. Hoping for a good cycle for you this time x

And sorry, Safra that I didn't address your post. Welcome - as you can see from the replies to me, the ladies on this thread are lovely and very supportive, so you're in good hands! I'm sorry you've had such a hard time of it and wishing you lots of luck, too

Thanks for the welcome.

Fingers crossed for you gizmojo- there's a good reason they don't scan so early so trust the experts. (Tough I know!)

Nice to know someone the same as me abads - I've said I'll give it to 45 (July) but I think I said the same at 42 and again at 43!!

I'm getting a bit obsessed now - I actually was pondering (on a long boring dog walk) if reducing wee on the hob would give an earlier result!! Eeeeeeewwwww!!! Lol

So tell me ladies - any odd stuff crossed your mind that made you realise you were obsessed!! 😂

That's funny Safra! I think I knew I was obsessed when I counted over 20 pee sticks hidden in the bathroom cabinet! I dug them out and threw them away after I noticed that the cabinet was beginning to smell like an old urinal I'd bought a pack of 25 cheapies thinking they'd last months. After 1 cycle I've got 1 left!!! I didn't used to bother testing because I get such obvious pregnancy symptoms for days before my missed period that there's really no mistaking it. But since my mmc in June my body has completely buggered up, and now I get all sorts of crap going on!

DH is just as bad. If I really fancy some apple juice, or nod off before bedtime, or lose my temper over something irrational, his little eyes light up! I have to curb his enthusiasm as much as my own! Even the dog staring at me a little more than usual is enough to get us both wondering. In truth he's just a weird dog who stares a lot. I swear it's a form of insanity, this tww!

Hello everyone
I'm 43, I had 3 children with no problems followed by 6 miscarriages. I had treatment in my last pregnancy ( steroids, clexane, cyclogest) and it successfully resulted in my lovely boy born last year.
Our eldest 2 have flown the nest and we have been broody for some time, thinking one more would be greedy but wonderful, and in October we got lucky.
Sadly this pregnancy has been slow to grow epu have seen me weekly to monitor the progress, and I knew it wasn't going well.
Today's scan has confirmed no growth or heartbeat so I'm booked in for an ERPC next Tuesday.
I feel very sad, and it brings back a lot of traumatic memories, but I know this wasn't a healthy pregnancy, as opposed to my body rejecting the pregnancy, so it feels a little easier on my heart.

Anyway, sorry for the essay! We're going to give it another try, so I'd like to join you ladies.

So sorry for your loss Green fuzzy. xx

Take care everyone x

Hello Wombletor. So sorry you are having a shitty time. It's good how's you are making it a little easier with how you are viewing the situation.

Gizmo thinking if you too, fingers still crossed and I hope it's not driving you completely insane!

Fuzzy: that's very amusing, I've found myself desperately hiding sticks in the past - hubby would be astounded at how many I've been known to use! (Good job they are cheap on the net these days!)

Well Af arrived today - cd25 so early for me - I think! The problem with not trying for a couple of years is that I lose track of how long my cycle normally is! Last month was 27 so it's not massively early but I'm sure I used to be a regular 28 girl! Ov did seem normal at around 13-15 though (I only go by ewcm and we dtd every other day from day 9 or 10.)

Anyway, since I miserably failed to quit drinking right up till day 14 it's probably not a bad one to miss! (Not an alcoholic I promise - only a glass a night - but still t total now!)

Good luck all you ladies.... cd1 - here we go again. 😊

Sorry about AF Safra & ababs. Here's to next month

Sorry to hear about your pending ERPC Wombletor. Have you had one before? I had one in June and it was fine. Virtually painless. The only trouble I had is it took my body about 3 cycles to get back to normal - I had a couple of very short cycles with spotting.

I'm on CD22 today. Feeling nothing, nada, zilch. If I'm pregnant I've usually got stuff going on by now. Just hoping my cycle lasts 27-28 days so I can start the hormone priming for IVF in January. If it's early I'll have to defer it to next month due to the clinic's closing hours over Shitmas. Not that I think IVF will work (based on the first disaster) but I'd like to get it out of the way so we can move onto donor eggs.

Good luck everyone. Thinking of you Giz - hope your little bean is cooking up nicely xxx

Fuzzygreen, yes I had one 3 years ago, and found it less stressful than a natural one. I am hoping I can make it to Tuesday.

Thanks for your kind words and remembering me ABABS AND PIES. Hello SAFRA .

GIZ - just wanted to say hope everything is ok with you. Nothing anyone can say will stop you stressing but exactly this happened to me one time. In my first successful pregnancy after my first mc nothing could be seen at 6 weeks and 3 days. I obviously was expecting the worst. One week later revealed a much happier outcome for me. Try not to worry until you have a reason to - so much easier said than done I know xx

WOMBLETOR - sending you big hugs. I have been in your shoes and it is just the most awful thing to have to endure. It is better than natural management though, which I have also had go through and brings the physical side to a close quickly at least. Small consolation I know xx

I just had a phone call from my GP surgery asking for confirmation of which hospital I would like my baby to be born at

My fault for not contacting them and letting them know it was yet another early miscarriage. I cancelled the gp appt I had but didn't give a reason. I just couldn't face saying the words I suppose. Was feeling half ok today and now feel totally shit again - my own feckin fault too! Ah well....

Sorry if I've missed anyone - I'm not the best poster as I do struggle with all of this sometimes. It's reeking havoc with my emotions which are a bit all over the place - but I am always checking in and lurking. Hoping for lots of positive and happy posts from all of us xxxx. You really are a lovely bunch of ladies

Ps. Good luck FUZZY xx

Welcome, Wombletor and sorry about your pending erpc.

Fx for both safra and ababs on your new cycles.

Fuzzy, I'm also keeping everythig crossed for you that this cycle goes like you want it to! Like you say, would be rubbish to have to defer.

Thanks for your good wishes. DH has suggested we go for a private scan at the weekend. I'm really torn. On the one hand, if it shows a heartbeat then yay but on the other if it doesn't, but does show growth, are we actually going to be any better off than we are now? I'm swinging so wildly between doom and hope I honestly don't know what to do!

Sorry, Mattsmamma, for some reason I didn't see your post until after I'd done mine! Thanks very much for your words, that is really encouraging to hear. Sorry to hear about the call from your GP, though, that must have been really hard Just post when you want/need to and know that we're here xxx

I don't know how I missed all this action on the thread. Welcome to everyone new and hello to all! So sad about many of our fraught past histories with ttc.

Sorry to hear about your Erpc, wombletor. I hope it all goes as well as it can.

Safra I am the same age as you and Ababs and also trying for number 2. Fingers crossed that 44 or maybe 45 is lucky for us.

Hope the cycle timing works out, Fuzzy!

Matts It is tough when you get the little reminders. They hit you all over again.

Giz hang in there. It sounds like you ovulate late so you probably just aren't quite far enough along. The waiting is such a killer.

I've had a bit of ewcm today and yesterday on CD 24 and 25. This really is a WTF cycle.

Our bodies are a complete mystery to me, pies - I had ewcm towards the same time in my cycle for the past few, too. Kept meaning to look it up.

I get that every month. A few days before AF I get more, usually a little yellow in colour. I've read it's just the change in hormone balance in the build up to AF. Annoyingly, I also get loads of it when I'm pregnant, so it always gives me a little surge of hope!

On CD26 today. Absolutely zero pregnancy symptoms so haven't even bothered to test. But bizarrely, zero of anything whatsoever!!!! I think my hormones have left the building..... Does anyone know if that means an annovulatory cycle?

Good luck & best wishes to everyone here