35+ TTC #1

[elisev]

Hi all,

Just wanted to start a thread for all of us over 35 just starting out.

I am: 36 (37 in Nov)
Cycle #1 CD 22

I've been 'prepping' my body for this for a year, lost weight, increased my fitness levels and been taking vitamins etc so I feel like I've been mentally preparing for this for AGES, as a result I'm finding the waiting game torturous! I've been tracking my cycles, 27 days average, and using OPK's - just started that this month. We dtd the day before getting a smiley face and then twice on the day we got one.

Are there others who feel impatient/worried like me because you feel time is not on our sides? So bloody stressful!

@BougieQueen I'm so sorry. Sounds like you are going through a rough time. Let us know how you get on and fx for a positive result.

@Flev Sorry about AF.

My friend messaged me last night saying her husband had just hit her. We've spoken since but not for a few hours. It snapped me out of my latest meltdown to poor OH. I'm worried - so hard to support her as she lives in another time zone x

I can't tell anyone - hence posting on here. Sorry - I realise it isn't what this board is for really x

Thanks everyone, I sent my friend a text to say how happy I am for her and sorry that I've been a bit quiet, and she was so lovely and understanding so I'm glad I reached out.

@Janefx40 that is so awful, your poor friend! I think the only thing I could possibly to say to a friend in that situation would be to leave immediately! but i know that must be easier said than done.

Hi everyone

So yesterdays bleeding turned to clots and much like a period with cramping so took day off and came to the EPU again today. Spoke to midwife and got the bloods back which showed that my HCG had halved so a sign that pregnancy is failing. She said that I must take another test in weeks to confirm and that a miscarriage bleed will take about 2 weeks to end. After that I must get GP to refer me to gyne which should be quick due to my age. Really sad for my short lived pregnancy. My husband is coming home early from work to console me. Just going to go home to cry and sleep.

Thanks for all the support on this forum.

@BougieQueen I'm so sorry. That must be heart breaking. Glad DH is coming home to be with you. Just make yourself as comfy as possible and let yourself be sad.

@PhoebeMouse well done for reaching out. It is hard to do.

Sorry about my post earlier. I tried to delete but couldn't work out how. Please ignore - I was just stressed but shouldn't have shared on here. Xxx

oh @BougieQueen i am SO sorry to hear what you are going through. This happened to me just a month ago too so you are not alone here. It is absolutely heart-breaking. Take lots of care of yourself and your husband. x

@BougieQueen - sorry to hear this. Glad your hubby is being so supportive; horrible time for both of you.

@JaneFx - awful thing to hear, but it's good that your friend feels able to tell you. Domestic violence charities have useful information online, also for people worried about someone else e.g. www.womensaid.org.uk/the-survivors-handbook/im-worried-about-someone-else/

@BougieQueen I'm so sorry to hear that news. Sending hugs.

So sorry @boogiequeen xxx

@BougieQueen- sorry to hear your sad news, glad you're going to be at home with husband

So sorry to hear your news, @boogiequeen

Thinking of you @BougieQueen, so sorry to hear your update xx

So sorry to hear this @BougieQueen

Thanks everyone. I've decided to go into work if only to get my laptop so I work from home tomorrow at least. I want to try and get back to normal, stay busy and not get depressed.

I'm hoping the bulk of the miscarriage happened while I was at home yesterday. Still have a few tummy twinges but also on strong pain meds from the hospital which they said were the strongest I could have with the next step up being pain relief intravenously.

Hi @BougieQueen, hope you're feeling a bit better today and are getting some rest and respite. I don't know if it's of any reassurance, but quite a few of my friends went on to have a successful pregnancy pretty quickly after a miscarriage. Hope you and your OH are looking after each other as best you can.

@Janefx40 hope your friend is okay. I grew up in a household with domestic violence and it is horrific. There's just no excuse.

Some good news on my end. We had sex this morning, with a happy ending, for the first time in ages. I think we're breaking down some walls and making progress. Conveniently it coincided with a nice glob of EWCM, although I don't have a positive on an OPK yet, but it should be around now and means that we are in with a chance this month if I do ovulate soon.

how's everyone else doing?

That's great news @79andnotout it sounds like things are going really well!

I'm trying the cheaper Clear Blue OPKs for the first time this month and this morning was my first go! I was weirdly pleased to see the empty circle because I've kept having achey boobs ever since my miscarriage 5 weeks ago so was worried my hormones could be all over the place and make it say I was ovulating when I am sure I am not yet. My boobs actually feel normal for the first time today so I am hoping that has settled down, fingers crossed!

We are still continuing to DTD every 2 days as much as possible just in case but it will be good to check if i actually am ovulating and if things are ok. It's hard to know what's going on with my cycle now after the miscarriage, it had just settled to being around 26 days so I hope it's not going to go wild now!

@79andnotout well done for the successful sex! That is a great milestone and amazing that is coincided with EWCM.

Thank you for your good wishes for my friend. We're super close so it's been hard - she's confused - we both are - and working out what to do. If it was a stranger I know what I'd think but it seems more complex when you are close. Sorry you had to witness that as a child.

@PhoebeMouse fingers crossed for a normal cycle. I like the cheaper CBs.

We're (trying) to do it every other day but I have had EWCM only on our "off days". Hope that's not a prob. OH can't really do it any more than we already do - he does struggle with the pressure.

Great progress @79andnotout and @Pheobemouse

Our week off has been a bit of a weird one as we found out last week that DH is being made redundant. So he’s been a bit up and down this week and not always in the mood. It’s been my fertile week and only dtd twice so can’t help feeling that if anything happens this cycle it’ll be a bloody miracle. Feeling a bit blue about it all.

@79andnotout I am delighted to hear that you have had a measure of success at what sounds like potentially an excellent time! Fingers crossed!

@PhoebeMouse that all sounds very promising. If you don’t get a BFP this time round, though, you do get to be glad that at least your body gets another month to recuperate. It’s a small comfort, but another month might mean that when you do conceive again, you get a more comfortable ride.

@Meggimoo sorry to hear you’ve had a weird week.

Also, I pressed the “post” button while trying to scroll. Then got distracted by Mother. (Quick, opportunistic visit to the parents’.)

I hope that the redundancy thing ends up being ok.

I’ve had a pretty ok month so far, cycle-wise with definitely noticeable amounts of CM, and an extra bit the day I ovulated. My chart looks like a proper one! We managed to DTD the two days before ovulation, and twice the day after. It’s the most promising cycle so far.

I did ovulate on day 11, though (it was day 14 last time, which, gave me 11/12 days post-ovulation; a bit on the short side), which is possibly worryingly early. Still, that means AF will come sooner, and we can get on with the last cycle before going to the doctor to get checked out.

Happy to hear there's some positive news for some of you so far this month.
I'm not doing so well, signed off with long chronic health problem at the moment so the energy necessary is a bit lacking! However- I am going to start using the opk sticks this month and see what happens.

Hi guys...things are a bit better today and a bit less physical pain. I worked from home yesterday which was a good idea because I had quite heavy bleeding yesterday and passed massive clots (sorry that is tmi). The blood had subsided quite a lot since so I think that must be the worst of it (fingers crossed). I'm due to go to the theatre this evening with my sister and bestie so hopefully in better spirits over the weekend.

@BougieQueen glad you are feeling a bit better but sorry you have been through such a tough time. Hope you make the theatre. What are you seeing?

@Meggimoo Sorry about the redundancy. Hope it all works out.

@Spargle I didn't think it matters if you ovulate early. It's the luteal phase that's important.

I'm having a bit of a frustrating fertile zone. Had EWCM today but OH gets a bit stressed so did a whole seduction think which worked except we ended up doing it on the stairs and it literally all flopped out straight afterwards. So feel as tho we have wasted our best shot! Hrmpf

Hey,

Hope you're all having nice weekends. Mine was a weekend of pottering, baking, running, and dog walking. Very pleasant.

@Janefx40 - I don't think it makes much difference if it all oozes out. I think most does anyway, it's just a few that end up in the right place and they will regardless of position. Sounds like some good moves you've pulled out though. I think it's a long time since I had sex on any stairs!

@BougieQueen great to hear you sounding okay about it all. Hope you had fun at the theatre, and can feel some normality returning soon.

@Cinnamontoothbrush - I found the OPK tests really reassuring. So good to see some pattern from month to month. Sorry to hear you're off work, I need it generally for the distraction. Hope you manage to boost your energy levels somehow.

@Spargle - glad to hear you've had a good cycle with lots of EWCM and appropriately timed sex! Fingers crossed for you this month, or, at least, more evidence to take to the next level.

@Meggimoo - sorry to hear about the redundancy. That's the last thing you need while TTC. Hope you are both managing to figure everything out and get some plans in place.

Hope this cycle looks normal for you @PhoebeMouse!

As for me, my BBT and OPK's indicated ovulation either the day we DTD or the next (I think the next, my temps have been erratic this cycle as I've had a cold), so that worked out quite well. Definitely in with a chance. OH is of the belief that every unprotected ejaculation = pregnancy so a negative will hopefully help him realise we could do with trying a bit harder next month. Relationship wise we had another therapy session and all still going well. I also got a decent payrise at work which helps minimise some of our concerns about money (I'm the breadwinner so need to save a decent amount for mat leave otherwise the mortgage wouldn't get paid and I couldn't afford to swan around drinking coffee and eating cake for six months).

Great progress @79andnotout fingers crossed . My DP also assumed that merely stopping using contraception would be enough !

@JaneFx40 - My mum told me I was conceived on the stairs (TMI, but I couldn't unhear it...), so maybe that's an omen?

@Spargle, I got worried about my ovulation varying (from day 11 to day 18!) & having a luteal phase of 11-12 days, but fertility clinic said neither of these was a problem.

@BougieQueen hope theatre visit has sorted out the physical symptoms; one less thing to worry about. Wishing you & hubby strength at a difficult time.

Nothing remarkable to report from me; my boobs are out of control (had to go bra shopping!), nausea continues & I still wake up in the night needing the loo. Have first midwife appointment this Tuesday, then Harmony test plus scan on Friday and official 12 week scan two weeks on Wednesday.

I'm getting made permanent at work (want to get contract sorted before I tell them I'll take maternity leave next year). At same time, I've continued looking for a new job, as didn't want to change my life just yet (still some pregnancy hurdles to pass). Although won't apply for any more jobs now and only a handful of applications outstanding.

Had a really great interview this week for a job I'd love to do (would pay a lot more too) and did some online tests this afternoon. If tests good enough, I'll have one further interview. Of course if I get a job offer I'll have to tell them I'm up the duff & (if they're OK with that), try to negotiate maternity leave. Well at least there's no danger of me being unemployed & visibly pregnant in January (which was worrying DP a bit!).