TTC after miscarriage thread #6

[jodiebee664]

New thread for all navigating the bewildering world of trying to conceive after a miscarriage. Whether you have dc or are ttc your first, all are welcome here. We share the positive, the negative and the down right confusing.

Here's link to previous thread...www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2657346-TTC-after-miscarriage-thread-5?noti=1#62460035

Oh and hi AnneLovesGilbert :)

Rose
I am with you on the mouth ulcers, I think it is just your body feeling a bit poorly after all the chaos.
I increased my b vits and c vits to try and make sure my body rebounds as quickly as possible.
B vits are supposed to help your hormones regulate which I assume is helpful for getting AF back on track.
That link has made my head melt a small bit, but bear with me, I have assumed that my miscarriages are due to low progesterone levels as my luteul phase of my cycle is quite short, if that is the case then drops in progesterone for me should've been pretty instant, but turns out in both cases I had Mmc which seems to suggest loads of progesterone in there. Oh well 'runs off to furiously google causes of Mmc again for the millionth time'..........

Rose I would love to be pregnant by Christmas, christmas was when we were going to tell our families as we would have had results of screenings etc....so to have a BFP around then would be amazing, though considering I had my MVA on 2nd December, highly unlikely...perhaps in time to see the New Year in..

Hi Annelovesgilbert good luck on getting AF, hope she comes soon for you!

Sorry for the head melt Miami hope google gives you some good answers...Are you just taking a B Vitamin supplement? I'm still taking the conception supplement which I had been finishing off before moving onto pregnancy vits, so will just use all those up..

Oliver'smum
Oh sorry I wasn't giving out about the link! Just fascinated, gives me something else to read after all.
Given I have had to take the tablets again today 7th dec it seems really unlikely that I will even have ovulated by Christmas now. Unless the sac and placenta completely come away today. Oh well - guilt free drinking for Christmas. And Brie. And pate. I would take a BFP that stuck over anything right now, but will just have to give myself a chance to recover I suppose.

Don't worry Miami, I know
I had brie and paté with toast for lunch today - with seconds!! I really must get my act together, I wanted to lose a bit of weight before getting pregnant again, as my BMI was 29 at my booking in, no idea where that came from, I've been 26ish all year! I think I went a bit nuts allowing myself treats and to eat what I wanted once I found out I was pregnant. Now I feel like I'm getting a second chance at getting myself in shape...just such a shame that christmas doesn't really help with that!!
I am hoping though, that as it's only 2 and a bit weeks away now, it will do a good job of taking my mind off everything that's happened.
Took a pregnancy test today and still showing positive, so will try again in a week or so...as much as it will be sad, I feel like I need a negative so I know that I'm on a clean slate and hopefully ovulation will follow soon after...

Hey everyone,

So I popped into town earlier with dd and dh for tea.. I went and grabbed a cheap pg test and went and done it in the restaurant toilet... I know mad!!!
Anyway... it only had one line so bfn I guess.. Least I know I can move forward now but part of me hoped I'd still secretly not of mc.
Third time lucky I guess.. so we started ttc last night, tonight we are going to give it a rest, then tomorrow night.. not sure when I'm meant to be ovulating but app it's 2 weeks after mc.. all I know is I was pregnant pretty quick after the last one... I might try and track down dates as would be useful to know how quick...
Agreed with Xmas taking your mind off things.. just my friend is pregnant and we both had our last successful pregnancies together and then both fell pregnant this time and hers is progressing wonderfully and mine ended so badly and since then she's not been in touch since I told her I mc xx

26th October I mc the first time
And found out I was pregnant again 21st November... so I'm presuming I must of ovulated 2 weeks after first miscarriage??

Sorry guys... so I'm presuming if I miscarried on December the first I would next need to be baby making...15th December!!!!

Rose
Bit shit of your friend, she may feel really awkward around you I suppose, but she should still be checking in with you to see how you are doing.
I understand the need/compulsion to get pregnant again quickly but please take it easy on yourself. Try not to build it up too much, having said that totally go for it but be prepared for it maybe taking a bit longer then you wish.
All the best.

Miami81,
Yes I do find it rather annoying she can't drop in as I still said I'd love to know how she's getting on..
I'm going through a weird stage In my life where most of my friends have moved abroad, I had one close friend who was going through a depression and I tried to help her but instead of her wanting me help she cut me off.. that hurts!
so I'm kind of going through all this alone.. I have my dh and my dd and my family around I suppose that's nice.
I won't rush I guess my body has to decide..

How is everyone else doing?

Xx

Oh Rose bless you, so sorry you got a bfn today, but at least you know for definite now and can move on..?
I imagine your friend is probably worried about upsetting you and doesn't want to rub her pregnancy in your face, but appreciate that it still hurts.
I have you lovely ladies to talk to, my do is awesome but he doesn't really get what I'm going through or know what to say for the best so he's great with cuddles, sympathy and glasses of wine! Which is fine by me!
That was incredibly quick last time then! Hopefully it will be the same for you this time. It's so difficult not to obsess about getting pregnant, I said when we had our mc that I would take it easy this time and not put too much pressure on myself, but I've already started putting possible dates in the diary!
I'm like you and hope to be pregnant again soon but know that I will only worry almost constantly now about the same thing happening again...it's so difficult being ladies!!

Oops, dh* not do, obvs

I'm so angry today, have actually woken up in the worst mood. I took my second dose of the misopristol yesterday (tablets to induce natural miscarriage) and I don't believe they have been successful. I bled a lot, but no sac came away. So now I am still in limbo, still kind of pregnant, still with loads of f'ing pregnancy hormones and still afraid to go to work as there is no way in this world that I am bleeding out of my pants at work.
My question for anyone who had the tablets or natural is. I was around 8 weeks measuring 6+2, which is bigger then previous pregnancy was, I definitely felt the passing of the sac before, have you? Scan yesterday confirmed sac was there and intact, so was expecting to feel it.
Also when I mc before I felt instant relief, from the pain but also just from having passed the pregnancy (which my sis tells me is a hormone thing). So I knew it was over as such, haven't felt that this time and it is driving me batty.
Anyway sorry to whinge, I just want to move out of the limbo and start to recover now.

Hi all,

I'm a long time lurker, occasional poster, sadly returning from a brief trip to the pregnancy after miscarriage board.

Had my third MC confirmed on Monday when I went for what was supposed to be an 8 week reassurance scan. Turned out not to be reassuring at all! Had had a scan with a heartbeat at 6 weeks following some bleeding.

Had medical management in hospital on Tuesday so that pregnancy can be sent away for cytogenetics testing. Will be seen in recurrent miscarriage clinic with the results in 6-8 weeks.

This MC doesn't seem to have hit me and DH quite as hard as the last one as I think we were both waiting for it ever since I got the BFP. Although it is still early days and I'm sure we'll both have many more upset moments.

For those of you ladies who have had 2 MCs, the knowledge that I'll get some tests/input now is a small comfort, although obviously I hope you won't have a third.

Anyway, I think we'll be not trying but not preventing rather than actively TTC until the clinic appointment. Whereas the last 2 times I've felt desperate to be pregnant as soon as possible this time I feel like there isn't much point if nothing is different. I also know I have a uterine septum which I'm going to ask for surgery on which will presumably take me out for a good few months.

Sorry for the long post, just needed to get it out around some ladies who understand.

Miami sorry we're both back here and you're having such a rubbish time with it.

I've had medical management with all 3 of my MCs, at home with the first 2. With the first 2 I wouldn't say I specifically felt the sac passing and as it went down the loo it was hard to tell. The first time the pregnancy had stopped at 5+5, the second 6+4. As I was in hospital this time it was checked for so I know I definitely passed it. I think maybe I felt this time but was 7+5 so don't know if that extra bit of time made the difference.

I haven't had anywhere near as much bleeding this time and barely any pain so I'm worrying about retained products.

I hope things progress for you soon and that this can be done for us both by Christmas. If you're worried I'd just ring up your EPU for advice. That's why they are there. I'm going to ring mine in a bit.

Good morning all, Miami I'm so sorry you're having such a shit time, take the time to heal and look after yourself. I had a termination at about 5/6 weeks a long time ago and took misoprostol for that...I couldn't really tell when the sac passed but I had lots and lots of clots, one probably bigger than the others which I though was probably it, but it's very difficult to tell.

Don't even consider going to work when you're like this. I was backwards and forwards to the loo like a yoyo, you don't want to be like that at work. Do whatever it takes to keep you sane and make you feel better, treat yourself with whatever works and just try to take it easy. Have a good cry if you need to, it always makes me feel better afterwards.

Hi Emily I'm so sorry you're going through that again, it must be heartbreaking, but I understand that having it looked into now, must be some comfort. I hope they get some answers for you and it helps you with your baby making journey...

I'm feeling blue again today and like a crap mummy...my DS doesn't seem to be being invited to many of his friends birthday parties and I'm feeling like it's because I'm not friendly enough with the other mums We lift share with another boy in his class and his dad is having some friends over next week for a party tea and my DS hasn't been invited...there was also a birthday party a few weeks ago which he knew about and when I picked him up he asked if he could go to this boys party, he even had the address ready and knew where to go. I had to make an excuse and say we couldn't' make it, rather than that he hadn't been invited

He is also a bit lost at the moment because a couple of his favourite friends are off sick or on holiday, so going to cheer him up tomorrow by buying our christmas tree (which will also cheer me up too!)

Anyway, enough moping from me, sending you all lots of hugs and hoping you're all feeling better soon...

Hey girlies,

Miami81
Sorry to hear you are going through this, the first time I mc I felt like I was going into labour, had immense pain and then passed a clot and then it was over, my mmc I had no pain, then had light period type cramps but have no passed anything really... just was a lot more bleeding.
If I had retained tissue how would I know?
I'm testing negative so obv that's a sign it's all over? no more bleeding either!
So I wouldn't say you always pass clot or tissue.. sometimes can purely be passed through bleeding?
Hope you feel better soon!!

Emily26, sorry to see you are back, how are you holding up? I've just had my 2nd mc but was within 2 months so been quite a rocky road for me... dr is saying that I may not even be investigated if I have 3 as I have a dd but that really gets to me as I don't see that being any different, she's 8 now and I'm now with a new partner.
Least you will hopefully get some answers? Let us know how you get on!!

Oliversmummy26, your ds is in a similar situation to my dd, she's always struggled, and sometimes I blame myself as she's an only child, there's always a click at these schools and a lot of parents have other children so they all play out of school as known each other for years.
She often comes home in tears, the new one is Xmas cards, she's been handing them out and a lot of the children haven't reciprocated..
there was a time a little girl didn't invite her to her party as she said she'd seen her face too much, then went on to invite all the other girls in her class.. children can be cruel, as the mother I wouldn't let my child behave like that.

I think we are all having these down days at the minute, prob our hormones too xx

My DS is quite sensitive and I think that's my fault as I've always been shy..he's very good with his little group of friends and his teacher has said the same, but I don't really know their mums, and I guess at this age it's more the mums arranging playdates and parties...I also work until 5pm, so can't have friends over after school etc.
He said the other night as I was leaving him to sleep that no one else loves him! I think from what he said he meant his friends. I explained that we don't necessarily love our friends, we like them and get on with them, but that he has so much family who love him completely and I think that made him feel a bit better, but it hurt my heart a little for him.
Kids can be very cruel, and it's hard to know what goes on in school, I get so little out of him...he's happy enough though and really enjoys going, so that's a good sign!

Anyway, back to other matters, Rose could you get a second opinion on investigations if you have a 3rd mc? It does seem unfair that they won't do anything? I've heard of someone else having problems getting pregnant over 35 and because she already had one child they wouldn't do much for her. It's so unfair, like they're saying, you have one, therefore why do you need another? I really don't think it's something that a gp should be allowed to decide for you! Makes me very cross

Oliversmummy26,
Agreed with the sensitive child bit, my dh is very sensitive, she cried at David Attenborough program last night!!

I'm not going to let the doctor stop looking into the miscarriages, I think I should be treated the same as anyone else. If he has an issue then I will get a second opinion. I'm hoping it won't come to that. It's weird because today I feel a little bit crampy and my boobs are a little bit sore and I feel shattered again, what's going on?

I I kind of feel like Things will happen in their own time but now I've not started this job that I was meant to be starting I feel that I'm at a bit of a loss with what to do with myself.

There's only so much housework you can do

I am on antibiotics for my skin as I started suffering with adult acne the doctor says that they are safe to take during pregnancy but then I start thinking what if they affect my pregnancy? I am still taking the Folic acid and I've been taking baby aspirin as apparently that is quite good to take every day of you've miscarried..

I guess time will tell. Hope that you have all had a good day 🎄⛄️

Meant to say my dd haha.. not dh 😂

I'll have a proper catch up later on but af is here! 4 week a day after the MVA. I was stressing loads, calmed down completely after reading lots of stuff by Deanne whatshername and then it came along. I'm tired and crampy but mostly just massively relieved.

Daft, I'd far rather be 16 weeks pregnant which was what was meant to be happening now, but I'll take what I can get now and it's a bit of normality!

Emily86
So sorry to see you here. Thanks to you all for your posts re different ways of it all passing. It has made me feel slightly more sane. Still a bit achey and crampy today, so I reckon there is definitely a bit more to go. I don't know how, jeepers the poor wee bean was only 6mm and there really can't be any more blood left to leave me.

That is good news Anne. In the sense that you are now back to square one. I remember feeling really sad when I got first AF - had a good cry, I think it was the trauma of blood but also a kind of final chapter on that pregnancy. But also feeling glad that my body was mine again. Back on terms that I could understand and cope with.

Rose
I am with you on the housework. I cleaned the oven on Tuesday.

Rose did you check with your gp/mw before starting to take baby aspirin or did you just crack on? I've been reading up on it, and wondered if I might try it out next time..