TTC after miscarriage thread #6

[jodiebee664]

New thread for all navigating the bewildering world of trying to conceive after a miscarriage. Whether you have dc or are ttc your first, all are welcome here. We share the positive, the negative and the down right confusing.

Here's link to previous thread...www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2657346-TTC-after-miscarriage-thread-5?noti=1#62460035

Still spotting with not much else! I might wait a couple of days though. Will buy a test tomorrow but might keep it for the weekend. AF was a couple of days late last month, it messed up my perfect 12 day luteal phase streak! Possibly the last MC shifted something as that would put me on a 14 day luteal phase which is average, I think.

Cycle day 32
Bloated and angry. Crampy like AF is on its way. Swine

Hey flash, I had constant bleeding for about 8 weeks, but I did have to have two ERPC'S so not at all 'usual', what ever that is for a miscarriage. I had one erpc the day after I found out about MMC, then bled for 3 weeks, I was still getting positive HPT's so was scanned and found to have retained products. I had the second erpc 3 weeks after the first and bled for 5ish weeks after that although it was tailing off.

Tests came back to say 'query molar' so I ended up with all sorts of scans and blood tests. Levels still didn't fall and I still had retained products which didn't go until a short break in bleeding then a proper period. I got another period 19 days after this so still a bit messed up but according to opks I've ov'd now. I know my hgc is >5 now but it took 11 weeks to get to that point.

Have you had a scan or any bloods to see is everything is clear? I was told the spotting would continue until everything had gone. It's just such a horrible reminder while it's all going on and there doesn't seem to be anything you can do to speed it up. I tried a few weeks of accupuncture too, it was very relaxing, but in the end I think it was just time that sorted things for me

Cycle day 33
No AF
BFN
What is my body trying to do to me :( never had a cycle this long before :(

How are you getting on Ecky? And Bertie?

And everyone else? I hope you're having lovely weekends!

I poas today, this afternoon- not even FMU! I'm only 6/7dpo and swore I wouldn't, think I've lost the plot... I kind of wanted to make sure it was negative after 3 months of positives. It didn't make me feel any better though! puts head in hands. Won't be doing it again unless AF doesn't show up in 7 days.

Brutal session at councelling Friday. I didn't realise how traumatised I was by the D&C. That it went wrong and I nearly had to have a transfusion, that they removed my baby like that. I can't actually think about it yet, it's like I'm hovering on the edge of thinking about it. I don't feel like I made the wrong decision, but still feel violated by it. Sorry that is so dark a thing to write

If this cycle isn't a BFP we'll be on to cycle 4 and my would have been due date in Feb is starting to loom. Being rational I know that's lots of time yet.

AF came. I feel pretty crap about going into cycle 9. And everyone else seems to be pregnant My luteal phase seems to have lengthened to 14 days since the last mc, which threw me. But no, I'll be expecting it next time.

On the positive side, I'm feeling calm and confident about my upcoming driving test and after I pass I'll be in a MUCH better situation to be TTC anyway. Which will probably just make it more disappointing when it doesn't happen but anyway.

Think cycle 10 will be hard because then we get to MC#1 due date. I don't know the exact date but the general time period.

I just found out my XH is due to become a dad bang on when my baby would've been due in Feb. It's just ANOTHER reminder of what should've been.

As much as I wish him well and I'm genuinely pleased for him I think it would've suckerpunched me less had baby been due in Mar/April/May etc.

In other news, away to embark upon a "month of action" as I'm determined to make this month "the one" - scheduling shag time is quite a rough business and also I'm just perma-tired.

Onwards and upwards

Bertie I'm sorry this wasn't your bfp. Hopefully it's not far away.

Legend I can't imagine how tough that must be. We've had lots of people we know have their second babies recently and they had their first after us. That stings, so I think it's only reasonable you're suckerpunched by it.

Hope you're doing ok ecky. And mrsy.

We had a good night out with friends last night and we're talking about booking skiing for early Feb. We've been the last 2 years and were holding out thinking I'd be pregnant again, but I figure if it doesn't happen this month then it'll be early enough days that it won't be a huge issue... no point keeping life on hold is there. If this is our lot we're bloody well going to enjoy it

Hi, I have been on the thread but not posting, but it's good to know others are in the same boat. Last month wasn't my month,after being 5 days late and spending a fortune on pregnancy tests. I've sworn I won't be so obsessed next month! AF is nearly finished. I have become very moody since my miscarriage in August, like perma PMT. It's affecting our marriage, but we try to start each day afresh. I just want to be pregnant again. I hope you are all doing OK!

Glad you had a good night last night say I agree you can't put life on hold, we are talking about holidays for next summer...Sod's law says that if we book something I'll get pregnant and we won't be able to go so quite tempting really!!

Not sure what is going on with my cycle, had a positive opk at CD7 but kept testing and now on CD16 and waiting for a static smiley rather than a flashing one! Haven't got one til CD17/18 past two cycles so fingers crossed it's just my cycle settling down post mc.

Know exactly what you mean about just wanting to be pregnant again sure it's hard for it not to consume all your thoughts!

hi everyone, I'm usually a lurker, having given up on all the counting and testing a long time ago.

However, a few weeks ago, after 7 years TTC, and realising I was actually 8 days late, I got my first ever BFP, a the young age of 43! Sadly, I miscarried at 5+4.
Apart from the initial shock, then absolute joy, followed by despair, my emotions are all over the place!
DH has been absolutely brilliant and I know he'd like us to keep TTC, as would I, but I can't let myself get back into that zone of counting days, ov tests, etc, or I'll go insane!
My GP was very negative, going on about all the risks at my ages etc. The EPU were fantastic, very positive, and talked me through the possible reasons for the miscarriage etc, but although I know they were just being kind, I'm holding on the the thought that I CAN get pregnant and now I'm thinking I should keep TTC or I'll always regret it.

I'm thinking I should give us a deadline... but then will this make it worse if nothing happens again?
Thanks for reading, I'm just blurting out my feelings really.

Does anybody know if there's any truth in that you're more fertile after a mc, or is it just an old wife's tale x

Hi all, DrR I habe no idea but I really hope so. Currently on my two week wait here and driving myself INSANE symptom spotting. Only 6DPO so I know its all in my mind, had nothing until 10DPO with my last pregancy.

In a vain effort to remain not bothered about the outcome I have purchased two packed of sanitary towels and some blue cheese. Really hoping I don't want either but have a feeling if I do I'll be gutted. I can't settled at all as this is the first month of trying post MMC.

Please tell me its not just me who is this nurotic!

*neurotic!

DrRBannerx apparently, but I imagine only under a certain set of circumstances (ie D&V) where the hormones don't adjust for a while - I haven't got a clue and wouldn't let it affect you in any way!

Monkeypoozled ME TOO and I tested at 6 dpo, and 7dpo, and 10dpo and 11dpo. All BFN snowy white. I'm wearing best white panties, poas all over the place and driving myself MENTAL. I've logged every twinge in every part of my body on countdown, FF, Ovia, Clue and of course mentally. Gah.

After my first mc I conceived again next cycle so on that basis I would say yes however I then mc again am now on cycle 2 post mc so not so sure now! Interestingly when I conceived after the first mc I still had HCG in my system but didn't when I would have ov'd in the cycle after the second mc as the levels dropped much quicker so maybe the HCG helped me to conceive? Who knows!

Positive opk yesterday so think today is ov day and then entering the dreaded tww! Going to have to stop myself testing ridiculously early too, it is literally peeing money down the drain!

Hope this is your month Mrs!

DrR I was really banking on the months after being highly fertile and as we're close to entering a 4th cycle I can say I'm bitterly disappointed it hasn't been true for me. I dropped on the 1st and 2nd month of TTC with my previous 2 pregnancies so had hoped post MMC would be no different.

I am due AF on sat/sun. I have no symptoms that make me think this is my BFP month. My OPKs were all over the place so no idea if when I ov'd between the first static smiley (CD13) or the second static smiley (CD15). We only dtd CD13,14,15 so if it was 16 or later we probably missed it.

How can I feel so sad and despondent after only 4 months since MMC when some people TTC for years?! Not sure how much longer I can put myself through this before I crack sorry, just needed to vent in a safe place.

Has anyone asked for tests to check ovulation is happening? I'm tempted to ask my GP but think they'll laugh me out the door for being so impatient.

Thanks say could still be your month too! Will you test before the weekend?

Re tests I went to my GP on the basis of two mc and they did some tests. Didn't have to really fight for them like I was expecting too. Once I got the results took them to a consultant privately who basically said they had been done at the wrong time and as I'd got pregnant twice it's the best indication that I'm ovulating and that it's totally normal for it to take some time, we'd just got lucky conceiving DD so quickly. So maybe worth asking your GP for some tests but know what you want and when they should be done so they are at least useful! If you don't ask you don't get!

I had honestly never realised how emotionally exhausting and consuming ttc was. Feel free to vent here whenever you need to.

I will test before the weekend. Found FRERs on buy one get one free at boots today so got those .

I'm a bit wary of them though as the last two months I've had faint positives on them and then got my period anyway... that's after a negative (non FRER) test back in September so really makes me question what is going on with my body and if I'm having chemicals. Can't believe there could still be hCG left from early August?!

Hoping I can steel myself from doing one tomorrow morning and wait until Friday. Doubt it though! Anyone else testing soon?

Hello all. Not sure if anyone remembers me, I've been taking a break for a bit as it all just got too much for me. I realised I hadn't dealt with my Mmc in June and it hit me like a ton of bricks a few weeks ago.

I have been lurking and reading and keeping up to date with all of you (not in a stalkerish way I promise )
Im currently 11 dpo and got a whiter than white bfn at lunchtime. So feeling pretty despondent as had convinced myself 100% that this was our month! No idea why. Anyway I'm going to post more and join in the chat as it's just too lonely otherwise !

Hi Little, I remember you. Glad to see you back.

I can relate to it catching up with you. It's bloody horrible. Hopefully we can help or just listen.

When is AF due?

I know what you mean about convincing yourself this is the month. I keep thinking I am going to 'just know', which has happened the last two months and yet nothing! This month, no magical signs...

pooch - I hear you, mine was in Aug and whilst it's not hitting me like a ton of bricks right now it feels like I'm going through the grief; namely the anger stage.

Is it normal to feel so angry? On the outside I'm gliding like normal. On the inside I'm throwing chairs through patio doors.

Hello can I join please?
Ttc no.2 have a perfect dd who is almost 5. It took us 2years to conceive her and I was on the ivf waiting list, but she was conceived naturally.
Have been half heartedly trying for number 2 for a while and fell pregnant in August only to mc in October at 10weeks.
First real cycle since mc and back to analysing and driving myself crazy as I did whilst ttc dd. Positive opk so just entering the 2ww. Trying to tell myself that Christmas without pate and wine won't be any fun and an August baby wouldn't be great either, but I just want to get pregnant again so none of that really matters regardless of what my head is saying.
Sorry for everyone's loss and fingers crossed that Nov / Dec is our month x

Legend I think it's perfectly normal to feel angry.

Crusading welcome and sorry for your loss.

CD26 (of 28) stark white BFN on an FRER this morning. So it looks like skiing is a go! At least it's not false hope like the last 2 months.

I feel angry at times legend but at the moment my overriding feeling is one of sheer sadness. I guess maybe because my due date is not too far off now I'm thinking what could have been.

say my cycle is a bit all over the place but I'd say AF due anytime tomorrow and Sunday. I've got pretty bad cramps so I'd say she will appear overnight.

I convinced myself that of course the reason I got a bfn yesterday was obviously because it wasn't fmu. So Poas this morning again and it was a clear as anything bfn^^ again. Not a whisper of a line. It was an Internet cheapie but even so it would pick something up at this stage. I'm an idiot! 12 dpo so there's no way it's nothing but AF for me this month.

Welcome crusading. Sorry you are here x