TTC after miscarriage thread #6

[jodiebee664]

New thread for all navigating the bewildering world of trying to conceive after a miscarriage. Whether you have dc or are ttc your first, all are welcome here. We share the positive, the negative and the down right confusing.

Here's link to previous thread...www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2657346-TTC-after-miscarriage-thread-5?noti=1#62460035

Jaffa no experience of the drugs here but just wanted to send you a hug, hope you are being well looked after

Mrs sorry AF got you early, I know what you mean about feeling chances are slipping by. Yes to good news for more of us in 2017

Legend how are you getting on? Have you managed to resist the POAS urge? I couldn't help myself this month, certainly added to my general loopyness

After a week of cramps AF got me yesterday, I don't know what's happened this cycle but every symptom I've had has been multiplied by 10. I had masses of EWM, lots of ov pains, positive opks for days, then a week of cramps coupled with the most horrendous PMT and anxiety, I've been utterly mental.

Feeling calmer today but very disheartened about the next few months, looks like DH is away for my fertile week this month, could travel with him but it's a zika risk area so not sensible. Haven't even bothered to look at his January rosta yet.

The Consultant treating me for the MMC complications was very instant that we must hurry up and get on with trying each month due to my age and the possibility of having to go through another loss before a successful pregnancy. Really not helping with my stress levels when I know the chances of DH and I being in the same place at the right time is very limited and difficult to plan. Looking back over the last year I think we'd have been together at the right time perhaps once every four months which certainly isn't going to help our chances.

Hello Poozled - I was just victim of a 24h bug yesterday methinks. Sick as a dog, joint pain, hot and cold: not morning sickness!

AF is due Dec 12.

Please if you see my name on here tell me NO POAS UNTIL 1 JAN!!!

Hi All,
Just wanted to pop in and say hello and please don't give up hope. I was in the same position after 2mc's and felt all the same emotions but am now 11 weeks - had an early scan at 7 weeks which showed a heartbeat (possibly twins but second heartbeat was slower and size was smaller so not sure if that one will survive - sad but I will be happy and grateful for one!) and am now counting down the days till my next scan next week.
Things that really helped me we're acupuncture - I actually think I conceived when we dtd straight after a session! To all the older ladies on the thread (I'm 37) my acupuncturist recommended I take C0Q10 to help with egg quality - no idea if it helped. She also recommended metafollin which I think is a more hardcore folic acid.
The AF before we conceived was 3 days early when mine were usually bang on time wise which meant I wasn't sure exactly when the next one would come - managed to get some willpower from somewhere and didn't test until definitely late!

I hope everyone of you gets there soon - you all deserve it, it's a horrible pain to go through - I think this time is especially hard coming up to Christmas as it's a milestone when you thought you'd be pregnant...I had it last year!

Good luck to you all, hope you're BFP's come very soon!

So pumped for you jbee xx

That's great news jbee! Congratulations!

Feeling sorry for myself again today went out for lunch with my 2 SILs and families, one of them announced she's expecting, I'm so happy for her but also really hurt about how insensitively she told us, in a pub over lunch, particularly as she knows about my 2 recent mc and 2.5 years ago was in my shoes when the other SIL announced her pregnancy in the same way and it was really difficult for her so she should know how I'd be feeling. DH is also angry at her for being so insensitive towards us both. have poured myself a glass of wine and am decorating our tree in a bid to cheer myself up.

Sorry for the me me me posts this weekend I just really need a space to vent. Hope everyone has had nice weekends

Hi Jbee, glad all is going well for you! Wishing you a happy, healthy pregnancy.

MrsY, that is shit. Hopefully the wine will help and don't worry about venting, it's good to have a safe space and say what you're feeling.

We went to the theatre to see the night before Christmas with dd and her cousins. DH and I are recovering with a G&T.

Thanks say I really value the support from this thread. Sounds like you deserve that G&T!

Hi everybody,
Wonder if I can join?
TTC: #DC2
Cycle: 13
MC: March 2016 (early @ 6 weeks)
MMC: Last week (8.2 weeks, went for an early scan to 'put mind at rest', shocked that little bean stopped growing at 6 weeks)

Sorry that you have all been/going through this. I feel really sad about this loss. Starting to feel anxious/paranoid that my body is just rejecting pregnancies.
I am booked in for a rescan on Tuesday, so the NHS can confirm the findings of my private scan, then I've been pencilled in for an ERPC on Friday. However, I started spotting this week and am now at heavy bleeding/passing clots stage. In all honesty, I just want to get back to ovulating and fall ASAP. I ovulated 13 days after my March MC started, which is bang on time for me. If the same happens this time, counting yesterday or today as CD1, I should ovulate about a week after my ERPC (assuming it goes ahead if MC doesn't complete)... but I hear you shouldn't DTD for 2 weeks?! Can't bare to waste another month
Does anyone have an experience to share about trying ASAP after the op? x

Yes, mine is due on the 27th. It'll be a happy Christmas or a boozy one! :o

Tee I haven't had a procedure with either of mine but I did find that the following cycle was odd and didn't manage to conceive anyway. I also felt a little bit sore for sex so didn't get up to much either. Try not to think of it as wasting a.month, I think that month following is often a wrte off anyway.

Hi tee sorry for what you are going through. I didn't have any procedures either and tried again straight away, got pregnant before I'd had a period and then sadly miscarried again which was really tough emotionally. I was told that after mc naturally as long as I had a negative test it was fine to try again if you are emotionally and physically ready too, only you and your DH can make that decision. Hope you have good support in RL too

Tested yesterday. WHYYYYYYYYYY. BFN but seeing as my last AF was Nov 12 then it wouldn't show up anyway?

I'm such a t*at. Back to feeling like throwing chairs through a window.

Welcome Tee, sorry for your losses, it sounds like your body is doing its thing so hopefully you'll get your cycle back quickly and perhaps not need the erpc. Like Bertie says the month after is probably a bit of an odd one, I think it all depends on how quickly your HCG comes down, hopefully you'll know a bit more tomorrow. Lots of support here for you.

Legend I'm sorry, it's just shit isn't it. I was exactly the same last cycle, promised myself I wouldn't test, tested regardless. Impossible to stop myself. I've never known anything to be so much of a head f*.

I have decided I'd better try an undo the last three months of inactivity and eating rubbish, it certainly hasn't made me feel better. I'm 5lbs heavier than I was at 10 weeks pregnant FFS. I've done an hours spin this morning and back to fat fighters Slimming World tomorrow. Might help my mental state too.

Welcome Tee. And sorry for your losses. No advise here other than my cycles have all been different following MC. Still not quite sure what happens when.

I had someone at work ask whether I was interested in chasing a career move. That simple question resulted in a lunchtime meltdown to DH that I have no idea which way is up. My career and kids is not compatable at the best of times and I've made a few changes since MC to try and get more work life balance but it's not given me the feeling I wanted.

I feel hopelessly stuck. Grieving for what we lost, struggling to admit how much I want a second child for fear it won't happen but unable to walk away from trying .

Monkey I have put on 7lbs from normal weight and am actually 13lbs heavier than I was at 13 weeks pregnant. For me it's a combination of no motivation to exercise and too much treating myself to what I fancy. Hoping I can make some changes this month!

Thanks for your messages ladies. I've just had the worst couple of hours of pain, honestly reminded me of labour with my DS. Felt an increasing amount of pressure baring down, and eventually passed the gestational sac. I was so shocked, this didn't happen with my first MC. It's about the size of a small hens egg, totally different from all the clots, as it's obviously a sac of tissue. This may sound morbid or weird, but I'm wondering about keeping it to take to my scan tomorrow. Will they think I'm bonkers?!

Hi there ladies
I was on here a few months ago and had to leave suddenly as found it all too much. I was just a little bit obsessed. I notice a lot of the people who were on here before have moved onto pregnancy threads which is wonderful and I find that really inspiring.
Anyway a recap of mine, I am 35, DH is 38. We are ttc dc1.
Ttc since Jan 2016. Mmc in April 2016, 2nd Mmc this week. Around 2 days after original due date.
Both mc have been at around 8 weeks although with no development past around 6ish in either case.
Went for the tablets option both times, don't think the recent one has been successful though and am back at the epu on Wednesday morning for a scan.
So sad, we thought we would be telling people at Christmas, just never thought we would be unlucky enough for this to happen again.
Am obsessing (naturally for me) and have bought a few books already. Just spent around £30 in holland and Barrett today. Am going to give the coq10 a try. And vit d and all the b's. we will see.
All the best ladies, I think we will be taking it fairly easy on ourselves over Christmas before going again in new year.
2016 can just piss off already. I am so
over it.

Hi tee
Totally up to you, take it with you if you wish to have them confirm what it is. It totally sounds like the sac though, this is why I think my mc isn't complete as I really felt it the last time and my only pregnant symptom (sore boobs) is still here, although the sore boobs disappeared completely almost straight away the last time. As soon as I had passed the sac.
I just want it all to be over now, OH got a bit cranky with me earlier about me not going to work today, nothing major he was just trying to get me to be positive and get out of the house, I was trying to explain to him that I am convinced that it hasn't finished and I am really anxious about leaving the house. So at least we have the appt on Wednesday and will be able to move on from there.
Mind yourself tee. Be nice to yourself, drink fluids, stay warm etc etc xx

Also tee - there is nothing bonkers in the world of a lady who has just miscarried. Whatever you feel is what you feel. Xx

Hi Miami,
Wow your story is so similar to mine. We started trying December 2015. When we fell in February due date was 5th November, and I was pregnant again by then, just! Like you I feel really anxious about what's going wrong. I have a feeling my March MC didn't complete properly, as every period until September was really clotty until the period before I fell. Now I've experienced and researched MMCs, I wonder if I had retained products hindering subsequent conceptions.
I was also poised to announce my pregnancy at Christmas, I would have been 12 weeks on Christmas Eve. In a way I'm glad I went for the early scan, as this unravelling over Christmas would have been horrific.
I don't know if I would have gone on to bleed anyway, or if finding out is what kicked started the process. How did you discover your MMCs at 8 weeks?
Miami stay at home if that feels right for you! Luckily I had booked time off this week, being stuck at work with all that kicked off this afternoon would have been bloody awful. I just need to be under a duvet with a hot water bottle, don't force yourself to do anything that doesn't feel right. If you can't face work yet, don't!

Tee
I think it can take a long time for your body to recover from mc. I feel like the cycle I got pregnant on this time was the first time my cm was back to normal after all that time.
I had a bleed in April which is how they discovered the first one. This time I didn't bleed at all, went for a private reassurance scan as I was completely losing my mind at 7+4 where they advised us that the baby looked small for the dates and the hb was slow. We went for scan at epu at 8 wks as I was unwilling to wait and knew that there was nothing the private place could do anyway. The epu scan confirmed that the hb had stopped last Tuesday.
It's really tough isn't it. Not sure whether we should push for tests now, or what to do really. OH and I keep having quite odd conversations about it, think I just need to speak to GP and see if they will refer us, even if it is for private tests. Or do we just go for the 3rd try and keep everything crossed that we are successful.
Hope you are feeling better this evening.

I've just posted a thread..

Have been pregnant twice in 2 months.. both ending in miscarriage around the 4 week mark, not sure why the pregnancy won't stick...

I'm still testing positive for this last mc that happened a few days ago, when I rang doctor he advised I may be pregnant just having a period but offered no support or help...

I know I have lost it and I want to ttc ASAP but scared of history repeating itself..

I have an 8 year old from a previous relationship so I'm not so shocked I'm having a hard time...

:(

Say your post really resonated with me. I'm feeling similar at the moment, the grief, worklife balance and fear of the second child you want so badly feeling more and more unlikely. You really aren't alone in how you are feeling.

Sorry to see you back here Miami hope you are taking good care of yourself, you too tee. I'm so sorry you are both going through this again, life can be so unfair. Hope you have good support in RL too.

Hi rose, sorry your dr isn't being helpful. If you are still having positive tests you could try calling your EPU, although this early on they may just tell you to wait and see, it's so hard. 2 mc in 2 months is a lot emotionally, hope you are doing ok

MrsY87
Thanks for responding.. I'm going to do another test tonight.. it would of been 6 days so expecting it to say negative by now..
I've decided to start taking baby aspirin In the hope that it makes the next bean stick!

I have rhesis negative blood and had anti d with my daughter but they said this shouldn't affect my new pregnancies but why on earth does the pregnancy not exceed 6 weeks...

You go over everything in your head and think why me!!!

I know I may get pregnant quite soon but then I'm going to be a nervous wreck over losing it again!!

The doctor says They only investigate after three miscarriages but because I am already have a daughter of eight years old they may treat me differently and think I'm still within the norm which really irritates me as this is a new partner and how did I manage to have a daughter easily eight years ago :(

It's lovely to have some girls to talk too x

Rose, I have an 8yo too. The difference is I know my DH (not DS's father) has issues so was (somewhat) prepared for this situation although of course you never really know what it's going to be like, nor does it make it easy. Does your DH have family history of miscarriage/taking a long time to conceive?

I have got to 5 weeks, 4 days both times.

Sorry for everyone having tough times. 2016 is just not our year! Let's hope 2017 has much better news for all of us.

I do take some comfort in knowing that the next pregnancy, as it will be the third attempt, will result in either a baby OR an investigation. Feels like at least we'll get somewhere - small blessings!

We will have been trying for one year in March.

Hi everyone! I've watched this thread for a while, I had MC last year in August and chemical pregnancy last month. I still have a lot of trauma after the last chem pregnancy. I just had my first period after the chemical pregnancy now and just start dreading how this month will turn out. I think I will be frustrated if I get a BFN or AF by the end of the month but a BFP would make me feel anxious. Does anyone feel the same thing here?