TTC after miscarriage thread #6

[jodiebee664]

New thread for all navigating the bewildering world of trying to conceive after a miscarriage. Whether you have dc or are ttc your first, all are welcome here. We share the positive, the negative and the down right confusing.

Here's link to previous thread...www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2657346-TTC-after-miscarriage-thread-5?noti=1#62460035

Just bought ovulation tests off Amazon.
Just ordered CoQ10 off Holland and Barrett.

Will keep kidding myself im not starting to get obsessed ffs.

Hello to new faces and sorry you guys have to join this party. X

Beans
I am taking such a concoction of vitamins it is unreal. It is the only thing that makes me feel like I have some control of what is going on!! Am trying the coq10 too. Have you read it starts with the egg? I read it in the middle of the night on my kindle after finding our second Mmc. I just want to feel like I am doing everything I can for this. Signing up to the gym as soon as the bleeding stops (bmi on the high side) and am starting the nutrition plan that my acupuncturist set out for me. Need to discuss with DH but think we might give it a couple of months for lifestyle changes and vits to take effect. But also cos I think we just need time to accept what has happened. It has all been a bit of a trauma. Good luck.

Cotton
Yes anxious if I were to get pg and almost equally anxious if I don't. Gonna maybe take December as a break month anyway and then think about where we are in january.
Best of luck. Sorry for your losses.

BertieBotts,
My dh was told he was fertile, but when we looked over notes did see 90% of them had deformities, although apparently those ones wouldn't make it so can't be that,
He has a sister who has conceived 2 children fine, his mum hasn't ever miscarried..
I'm honestly at a loss.. I don't smoke or drink, I'm not over weight.
I eat reasonably healthy.

It's hard when you don't know what's going on... apparently not my blood group!

If it was once I'd not be worrying so much but twice...

😩

BertieBotts Thanks for the reply :) x

Rose We have a two year old who was conceived first try, we have been ttc #2 since march and I had a mc in Aug and another in oct both at 6 weeks. You really do think why me and it really is a shock when you already conceived easily the first time. As Bertie says with the next one I also have the mentality that I have nothing to lose, I'll either get a baby or investigations, although I did manage to get my GP to test my thyroid etc after the 2nd so it may be worth trying your GP again. Hope your doing ok today, this thread is a really great support

Hi cotton know exactly how you are feeling, it's so difficult. Sorry for your losses

I'm taking loads of supplements too...worried I'm going to start rattling soon!

MrsY87,
Yes you are right, we really don't have anything to lose.. I'm just scared of going through the whole situation where you go to the toilet and there's blood, tmi I know!!!

My dh makes out he's ok but I know inside he thinks it's his fault as I have a healthy daughter from a previous relationship.

I was meant to start a new job Monday and my dh doesn't want me doing anything, he's wrapping me up in cotton wool!!

Miami,MrsY87, I am glad I am not alone on this. I also take suplement religiously now. And before this I admit that I was the one who would throw my prescribed meds down the drain when I'm sick.

Hi Tee Rosie and Cotton. So sorry you are here.

Tee you really can't start trying before you have stopped bleeding as you have a risk on infection before then. After that it is up to you, but I found the first month after my first mc (which was the latest one in to the pregnancy) I was far to crampy and feeling like my uterus was really irritable and I didn't feel like I was capable of accepting a new pregnancy.

So sorry you are back here Miami. It is awful when you have another MC close to your last due date. Although I found it took the focus off the due date a bit as I was too upset about the latest mc to think too much about it.

Mrs that was unfair telling you like that. She really should have known better.

For those who don't know me we have been trying for 19 months (since May 2015). MMC at 11+3 last october, MC at 5+2 on last christmas eve and MC at 4+5 on April the 24th, 2 weeks before my first due date. I have had tests and they can't find anything wrong with me.

I have that book too Miami. I got part way through when we discovered we brought bed bugs back from Romania this summer and the book had to get baked in the oven and put into storage while we killed them all. hopefully I'll get back to reading it soon.

Good afternoon ladies,
just wondering if I can join you? I had a miscarriage last week at 10 weeks, baby stopped growing at 8 weeks, no heartbeat. I started bleeding a week ago today (last Tuesday) and had MVA last Friday. I have already stopped bleeding, so DH and I want to start trying again this weekend.
As far as I understand there's nothing to stop you trying before first AF after miscarriage, they just prefer you to because it's easier to date the pregnancy?
DH and I managed to get pregnant really quickly, first cycle after our wedding in September which is when we started TTC, so really hoping for the same. Rose my DH is the same as yours, he's worried his swimmers are no good as I have a little boy from a previous relationship...

oliversmummy26
Hi, nice to have somebody else to talk too!!

Yes you can start trying right away, I conceived straight after mc but then had mmc 😩 my parents say that I should wait as my body hasn't healed... she's a nurse so app knows best 🙄
I am going to just keep trying, if it happens again I will at least have it looked into..

In regards to the dh do you think that it could be true?? Is it them? Or is it us?

It's a pain as it's something we may never know...

X

Rose I don't believe it's DH, I think it's just one of those things and that there's nothing that could have been done to prevent our MCs..is it 3 MCs and they start investigations as to why? Everything I have ever read says there is very little information on why MCs happen and that it just means that the baby wouldn't have made it or didn't form correctly. It's just natures way. When my bleeding started last week I convinced myself that it was a clot/hematoma and that I wasn't having a miscarriage - I'd had one perfectly healthy baby, so why would I have a MC now? But it turns our they're more common than I thought, which I guess is why they make you wait until you've had 3 before investigating the whys and wherefores...
Interestingly, my ex and his wife got pregnant in the summer and she miscarried at about 3 months too...so I don't think it's necessarily partners swimmers and I know it's not me.
I've been trying to think back to everything that happened at 8 weeks when the baby stopped growing...I think my 4 year old accidentally kicked me in the tummy around then...I think I had some homemade mayo somewhere along the way and a bite of pink steak (though that was the weekend before the MC)...I had also been lifting my DS probably more than I should have (he's a big 4 year old, but how can you refuse to give your DC "up" cuddles when they're a little blue about leaving you?!
There are so many things it could have been, yet I doubt it was anything and I just believe that there was something not right with this baby and that there is every reason to believe and hope that the next one will be fine...
Getting on the baby making train this weekend when DH home from work..though I have just started spotting again after stopping bleeding on Saturday - this can't be AF already can it?!
Sorry for über long post, but it's so nice to have people to talk to about this who are going through the same...

Well I've ordered some clue blue from the Internet, I'm going to test later, I know it will be a bfn but at least I can get on with the trying, the bleeding had stopped for me then my dh and I had a little bedroom fun and I started bleeding lightly again... 😩

Oliversmummy26 -
And the same as you I just kept thinking what did I do. I was moving at around that time and I also have an eight-year-old daughter so have to keep her entertained it's very hard to relax. I also did eat some pink meat then realised that you're not meant to eat any pink meat, but like you I don't think it was any of those things.

I had to have my cervix operated on only with the loop treatment as they found abnormalities in my smear, I guess I started worrying thinking maybe that had weakened my cervix although first time round apparently it's not meant to. The weird thing is that me and my dh hadn't been using any protection for around a year and a half and never fell pregnant then within the space of two months I've been pregnant twice!!!

I know you are very fertile after miscarriage so I'm guessing I fell pregnant the first time we had fun if that's what you call it ha ha.

It's really nice to meet everybody else on here and know that we are all in this together and not alone.

If I get the pregnancy test today I will test but in a way I feel like I don't want to because I will really know I definitely have miscarried and I'm still clinging onto the hope that maybe I haven't. Although my bloated tummy has already started to go and symptoms are disapparearing slowly!

🎄

Hey Oliversmum. Please don't do this to yourself, the mommy guilt will always try to get you. But as one of my friends said to me when I was all worried about having painted when I was 6 weeks, ladies all over the world do this. With no medical care in a lot of cases, unsanitary water, poor diet, no vitamins etc etc. So unfortunately it is just one of those things. I am so sorry it has happened to you. Mind yourself over the coming weeks and give your ds as many cuddles as he will allow.

Thanks Miami my DS is always up for cuddles, so we have been spending a little too long in bed in the mornings and consequently rushing to get to school/work on time!

Rose you're right, it was nothing we did, it just wasn't meant to be. Good luck with your tests and keeping everything crossed for you that it might not be the worst, but if it is, we're here for you.

I've ordered some tests too as I think I need to get a BFN before we start trying in earnest, I'm worried about getting pregnant quickly and having no idea of my dates as don't want to miss out on screenings if/when we do finally get that far..

I had a missed call from my MW yesterday as I was due for my bloods to be taken, obviously word hadn't got to her yet, but I couldn't face speaking to her on the phone. We hadn't told anyone we were pregnant and were waiting until 12 week scan and now I'm so pleased we didn't. So no one but my DH and my boss know, which to be honest, until I've processed this I am very happy with. I know everyone would be really lovely and supportive, but it's when faced with loveliness from people that I breakdown and just cry and and the moment I'm feeling pretty good. We might tell them when we have happy news to share, but at the moment we're happy keeping it to ourselves.

I worry a bit about my DH, he's being so strong for me, and has been my rock through all of this, but I feel like he needs someone to talk to about it too. Although he did admit over the weekend, that it was so early, he hadn't really bonded yet, pregnancy hadn't really hit him as a real thing and I guess it's often like that for Dads, until they see a baby on a scan or feel it kicking it's not real for them like it is for us..

Hi ladies,

Im so sorry everyone is all here for the reasons we are, although it is nice to know that we're not alone!
I started my mc a week ago this evening - I was only 5 + 4 at the time but that was long enough for the excitement to have kicked in.
Feeling beyond fed up but trying to stay positive and tell myself that it obviously wasn't right and could have saved even more heartache further down the line ... im not sure its completely working but im hoping if that's what I keep telling myself then that's how I will end up feeling!

Hoping to start TTC again this weekend ... will be keeping everything crossed for everyone!

Hello waps I'm so sorry for your loss, it's so heartbreaking. My DH said exactly the same thing, that as sad as it is, early is better than late in these situations

Seems there will be lots of baby making going on this weekend so keeping fingers crossed for us all!

Hi ladies, it's a bit crappy we're all here, but nice to have support anyway!
My mc finished on Monday 2 weeks after my BFP. From the very beginning I knew this was unlikely to stick and have gone through suspected ectopic to CP to confirmed (today) MC. The waiting and the not knowing has, by far, been the worst thing about this experience.
Now I'm back on the bus as of Monday and, although the nurse said to wait until I have at least one period, the only thing that has kept me sane this last fortnight, is the thought that we'll start ttc again straight away. So that's what we're doing. A lot!
I don't know when I'll ovulate, but I want to make sure I don't miss it so we'll be DTD every day (as far as possible)!
Good luck ladies x

Wow, I admire your stamina 2ducks! My DH works away 3 nights a week, but hoping that the 4 nights and days we do get will do the trick!

I've just read this really useful article about waiting for AF after a MC, found it fascinating and has helped me figure some dates out, thought I'd share if you haven't seen it before:

www.pregnancyloss.info/waitingforaf.htm

Thanks for that link, it's certainly interesting. I understand completely what it says, but I've had to focus on ttc again straight away during the past fortnight to prevent myself crumbling.
Dtd daily is the plan, though we're 2 days in and I'm knackered!!

I'm exactly the same, I understand that it's easier to date a pregnancy if you wait but I can't wait, I need something to focus on, and making another baby is that. Because I had the MVA it was all over fairly quickly and I feel like I've moved on (sadness still comes and goes...) I feel like a new pregnancy as quickly as possible is the way forward.
Going to try and keep an eye out for ovulation to help with dating any pregnancy, otherwise, a BFP by the end of December would surely make the MC count as LMP..?
Good luck to you and your OH with your every day antics!

Hi everyone, so sorry you're all here but it's lovely to have people to talk to.

oliversmummy that link is fantastically helpful, thank you.

I had an MVA 4 weeks ago for MMC at 12 + 5 and have been madly symptom spotting for af, desperate to feel like things are getting back to normal I guess. Reading that has been so helpful and I'm going to try and relax a bit!

I didn't get af after previous 5 week natural mc and got my bfp with this last pregnancy nearly immediately so not sure what to expect now.

We're going to the RMC next month and I had the MMR jab last week so know we need to wait a bit but it's driving me nuts.

With my last pregnancy, forgot to say, the mc was counted as date of my LMP. It wasn't as difficult as you'd think though as I was so so happy to be pregnant again.

Wishing you all the best of luck!

Hi

wapsmahoney And 2ducks2ducklings

Oliversmummy26 - I agree with that whole not waiting thing, you just don't want to emphasise the baby making is just pure baby making as it puts pressure on it doesn't it, I've just said let's not be careful and hope for the best!!

Today was the first day I've really relaxed, got really into the Killing and have had a nice soak etc, realised I had been over doing it. My dd is very understating and she knew what was happening to me as at 8 she hears and understands everything..

Since the mc I have had a whole mouthful of ulcers!!! Odd.

I didn't get my tests... tempting to pop into my local boots and grab one..

Although I already know the answer!!

It's odd though as my dr hasn't been in touch at all, so as far as he's aware I'm still pregnant, doesn't make you feel very thought about does it.. the last call I made to him was me saying I would possibly be having a miscarriage and he advised me that it was probably a period which can happen when you're pregnant then he told me to take a test which came back positive but said he couldn't help me either way so that was that!!!

I wonder if any of us will be pregnant for Christmas xx