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Conception

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Original poster

It'll never happen, and even if it does, something will go wrong. Hut of Doom part deux

800 replies

duchesse · 19/01/2007 19:43

There wasn't any more room for moaning with all those grinny smilies's eyes following me around the room.

Suspected (my own self-diagnosis) perimenopause, anyone?

OP posts:
Original poster
duchesse · 16/02/2007 17:22

Catbaby- I'm hypothyroid too, but not severely to warrant treatment automatically- I'm what's called "subclinical", which means that some people with the same levels as me may have no symptoms. I, on the other hand, do have symptoms, but have been unable to get my b*stard GP to take them seriously. It was the April 2005 thyroid that prompted him to tell me I needed ADs.

My advice to anyone who suspects thyroid problems and who is trying to get pregnant is to find the GP in your practice with the best reputation as a diagnostician, and request only them until you have resolution.

The doctor I've taken to seeing (young, female, training) referred me without hesitation in view of my age and the fact I was trying to conceive. Lucky she did, because the specialist (also young and female) says they like to normalise the thyroid levels of pregnant women to protect the foetus. My TSH levels are certainly not appropriate to sustain pregnancy, however subclinical they may appear to the GP.

OP posts:
beansprout · 16/02/2007 17:23

Duchesse, I'm so sorry to hear this. After a faint line too, what a miserable, bastard thing to happen.

I can see this being a rather drunk hut tonight. In fact, I demand it!!

StrangeTown · 16/02/2007 18:59

duchesse - very sorry about your crap week.

sideways · 16/02/2007 19:08

Duchesse - so sorry about your disappearing line and your thyroid, that's really crap. When do you get your results?

It will certainly be an alcoholic night in my corner of the hut. No particular reason, but it's Friday, I'm nearly at the 2ww and I really haven't much enjoyed any of the required sex this cycle. It's really been a chore. How awful is that?

Jossiejump · 16/02/2007 20:18

Sory I'm re-joining the hut after a very brief spell in optomism land.
Basically-m/c April and August last year with a haemhorrage thrown in for good measure. Had tests, which showed a slight clotting prob (Although I have got DS1 aged 6 and DS2 aged 3).
Positive pg test last Saturday, so duly saw consultant and started to give myself the required blood thinning injections and had to have hcg tests every other day, levels haven't been rising very much and found out today that they'd dropped, ~I'd had a chemical pg and that I will have a "heavy period" soon.
EPU has been fantastic, but I hurt so much. I know I've been lucky to have my boys, but I always wanted another and have now lost 3 babies.
Why do I put myself through this,
Pass me the red wine (in rl as well as in the hut). Sorry I'll go on spouting off to myself in the corner (is it a round hut?) whilst crying into my red wine (in rl as well as here as well)
Life is C**p

Original poster
duchesse · 16/02/2007 20:24

I have already tested as hypothyroid, but gave some more blood on Monday so they could double-check my levels. The consultant told me she feels I should be on thyroxine despite my relatively high functioning thyroid gland. She explained that pregnant women with uncontrolled thyroid disease risk having a baby with problems- neurologically immature and with a lower IQ than it should have (cretinism is not just an insult, it is also low iq caused by maternal iodine deficiency causing thyroid disease). Also the risk of miscarriage and preterm birth is higher. All good stuff... Am having kir right now. First day of period is always break out the booze day.

OP posts:
Original poster
duchesse · 16/02/2007 20:26

Sorry Jossie, x posted with you. Sounds like you need a Hut spell. Have a drink- Kir?

OP posts:
Jossiejump · 16/02/2007 20:57

Kir, wine whisky anything to numb things a bit right now

feedmenow · 16/02/2007 21:03

Eveving all, my round! Who wants/needs a drink? Sounds like you need another Josie...what will it be?
In response to a question from yestrday, I said nothing to the women on the phone, just passed her on to my dad. I think I was a bit jaw-droppingly shocked tbh! Have been rather paranoid that people who don't know will start saying things like "oooh, look at your bump starting to show!" and that I'll have to say "no bump, just far too much choccie and booze!" And then I'll feel even more miserable cos it will mean I look fat!

StrangeTown · 16/02/2007 21:12

Oh shit Jossie, I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I have been following your other thread.

Drinks, sympathy and doom all round.
STx

Jossiejump · 16/02/2007 21:32

Thankyou Strangetown-this time I felt that I could see myself with a baby at the end of this.
My boys are freaking me out. I August, on the day that I started to haemhorrage, just before it happenned, DS2 started saying "I've got a baby in my tummy", then started walking along cradling an imaginary baby.
Today after I'd been phoned about my m/c, DS1 said"I wish we could have another baby, we could call it Jack", which is freaky, not just because of what happenned, but also because Jack was the next name on our list of boys names after the ones our sons have got.
At no point have we mentioned having babies to them over this past year, they just think that Mummy has had a poorly tummy!

feedmenow · 16/02/2007 21:45

Children can be so perceptive, can't they? And I also believe that some people are genuinely more than just perceptive, so you may have some mini Derek Ahura (sp?) on your hands!
And Jossie, sorry if it looks like I'm stalking you between 2 threads! I'm not, honest!

StrangeTown · 16/02/2007 21:47

Aww Jossie - you must just be very in tune with your boys.

Bloody horrible time, I know it gets easier, but exactly as you said, I really saw myself with this one. (I had 2nd m/c this week too). Why does nobody in RL know how to treat you either?

feedmenow · 16/02/2007 21:56

I feel like everyone in RL has already forgotten that I only m/c 4 weeks ago. Maybe they just don't want to remind me of it, and maybe they think I'm OK. But I really still feel like I need a hug now and then. Even dp seems to have forgotten. Maybe it was the wrong thing for me to do, but they gave me a scan picture and I can't help looking at it sometimes, and I can't help thinking, "I should be 16 weeks pg by now".
So anyway, people in RL don't know how to reat me but I can always come here for a bit of whatever I need.....mainly WINE!

StrangeTown · 16/02/2007 22:12

Yes Feedmenow - wine and understanding on MN!

Think it is that people don't want to upset us, but it just comes across as not caring doesn't it? I was very hurt by it last time.

Nobody has mentioned it to me yet this time either, even though all my closest friends know. No texts, calls, cards! Think I am just being sensitive.

Suprisingly my new boss (male) has sent me some lovely flowers and a box of chocs even though he is based in a different country! Find it hard that he has bothered, but my friends haven't.

feedmenow · 16/02/2007 22:17

V. odd about the friends. Mind you, a couple of mine were fab and a couple have been truly crap. Peculiar when they know me better than anyone else. But then I guess if you haven't experienced it, it's hard to appreciate.
There was a lady next to me in hospital when I had my ERPC who was having one as well and she spent the whole time laughing and chatting and joking with her dp. It really surprised me, but I suppose everyone is just different.....

Jossiejump · 16/02/2007 22:24

I think it is hard for people who haven't been through a m/c to fully understand, my best friend and I have shared everything (we met at NCT classes), but haven't really discussed my m/cs properly as she doesn't know what to say. I know she understands though because I asked her to look after my boys last week and had to tell her it was to see the consultant becaue I'd just found out that I was pg again and was supposed to see him straight away, the way I knew she understood was because she didn't say congratulations. Strange I know, but she sensed that congratulations wouldn't be appropriate at that point (ironically it seems now

Jossiejump · 16/02/2007 22:25

Well at least it didn't keep me waiting too long-sorry TMI alert. I've just pooped to the loo and have found that I've started "af". At least I found out it was a chemical pg first

StrangeTown · 16/02/2007 22:28

Jossie - do you mind my asking what is a chemical preg exactly? Not come across this before.

Jossiejump · 16/02/2007 22:37

It's where the egg gets fertilised, but doesn't implant properly, usually because there is something chromosonally wrong so it wouldn't be "compatible with life".
Your hcg levels go up, because your body is pg, but doesn't increase at the normal rate (doubling every 48 hours) and then starts to decrease again, leading to very early m/c before a foetal sac / baby can be formed. My HCG was 24 on Saturday, 46 on Monday, 57 on Wednesday and they didn't say today, but must have been extremely low as af has started!
I know when I was younger I had a couple of months when I went to 5 weeks between af and had a heavy period, it is possible that it was the same then, most people don't realise that they were actually pg, unless they are like us mad TTCers, I had to test early because of the need for injections to stop clotting to prevent miscarriage, but otherwise may just have thought I was having a 37 day cycle instead of my normal 31!
Sorry got a bit in depth there it is the wine talking!

StrangeTown · 16/02/2007 22:42

Oh right, I see.

That's an additional worry you could do without then, suspecting that you may actually have had more than one of these...

Jossiejump · 16/02/2007 22:57

They reckon that the majority of women have had at least one, but have just thought that they were having a slightly longer cycle-it generally happens within 5 weeks of last af, some women can test positive onthe day that af is due, then start bleeding in the evening!

StrangeTown · 16/02/2007 23:02

Never heard of it before. Just something else for us to worry about then really, like we need more.

Jossiejump · 16/02/2007 23:04

Tell me about it!!!

Catbabymummy · 17/02/2007 08:23

Yep, Aunt Flo paid me a visit last night, the b!tch...