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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

It'll never happen, and even if it does, something will go wrong. Hut of Doom part deux

800 replies

duchesse · 19/01/2007 19:43

There wasn't any more room for moaning with all those grinny smilies's eyes following me around the room.

Suspected (my own self-diagnosis) perimenopause, anyone?

OP posts:
lissielou · 14/02/2007 18:45

ps took 6y ttc ds too

Original poster
duchesse · 14/02/2007 18:50

OK, Lissielou, you could take this further- the adhesions may be caused by manhandling during the c-section, and as for your bladder being misplaced and damaging other places, well, that is just unforgiveable. If you are of that mind, I would suggest taking legal advice, and subtly (or not so subtly) pressurise your hospital trust into financing you to successful IVF- after what the first surgeon put you through it's the least they can do (was it the same trust?). The problem is that you will need to prove that a substantial amount of the scarring was caused by the first C-section. They may try to argue that in an emergency they do the best they can, but putting you back together wrong after they've got the baby out safely is inexcusable.

OP posts:
Original poster
duchesse · 14/02/2007 18:52

And, erm, Beanprout, 5th week? *lalalalala can't hear you"

OP posts:
Impatience · 14/02/2007 19:33

Oh Lissie, that's just terrible. I hope the morphine-vodka combo is working for you. A healthy dose of oblivion sounds just what you need right now. It's just all so shitty.

I agree with Duchesse that you might have room to suggest they DO give you NHS assistance, if you can argue that you are in a crap situation now because of mishandling by them. I don't have any legal or NHS knowledge, but when you're feeling a bit stronger it could well be worth finding someone to help you. Put out a call on MN: lots of people showed they really cared for you, and I bet one of them must be able to give you some advice.

Take care hon x

Fingerscrossed2007 · 14/02/2007 19:43

Lissie there was some pink champagne and strawberries hanging around at lunchtime. Champers is no good with vodka but I'm sure you must be able to handle a strwberry or two.

was i tthe same NHS trust that did the caesar?

rahrah1 · 14/02/2007 19:58

HI lissie, glad to hear you are out of the hospital XX

I totally agree with everyone, the hospital need to help you. I am sure in my district that just because you have one child that does not discount you from further assistance. So with some pushing your hospital should relent.

I tell you what these hospitals take no responsibility.. It's a disgrace!

rahrah1 · 14/02/2007 20:00

OH and just made some RL pineapple up side down cake... Want some... It's full of calories and sugar... Perfect for us miserable girlies!

sideways · 14/02/2007 20:39

lissie - that's terrible. Agree with the others - you must make lots of noise about this when you feel up to it. They shouldn't get away with it and they should give you as much help as possible with whatever you decide in the future.

Mumpbump · 14/02/2007 22:10

I don't feel like I should be allowed in here anymore, but I just wanted to say to lissie that I absolutely agree with what duchesse says. Get some proper legal advice - most lawyers will give you an initial consultation for free and personal injury is one of the areas where they are allowed to enter a no win no fee arrangment. (You're obviously talking medical negligence, but it's resulted in a personal injury so I assume it would fall within this scope.) If you get some cash out of them, you would be able to pay for private medical treatment to help you conceive again... Please, please look into this. It is so unfair that you won't get any help because you've got one child when they have f*cked up so badly...

Original poster
duchesse · 14/02/2007 22:41

My rider would be that you use the threat of legal action as a lever to encourage the trust to pay for your treatment (make sure you specify successful treatment). It would cost them a lot less to just pay for your treatment than it would be to defend a case of malpractise or negligence, so they might be tempted to fund you rather than go to court. It might be possible to settle it relatively amicably.

OP posts:
lissielou · 15/02/2007 10:07

thanks all, thats what dh and i were planning to do. hes going to take some pics of the bruising around my side and back as well. and coz my bladder was too low down they nicked it during surgery, so now i have to wear a fecking catheter for another week.

is it too early for gin?

cedar12 · 15/02/2007 10:29

Lissie I can only echo other advise and would threaten legal action. I have been told the same about IVF as I already have one child i am allowed any help to have another one, bloody NHS. I work as a nurse in the NHS and I can asure you when ever people threaten lawyers things start to get moving a lot quicker. I even told one patient to phone our manager but not to say I said so! To say that they are going to talk to the local papers. All of a sudden the manager was very helpful.
I have just had my 2nd ectopic and also only have tube not sure what state my remain tube is in I am waiting another dye test.
The Gin sounds good to me.

Catbabymummy · 15/02/2007 10:35

Yep, sue the b**ds. It is our right to expect that when we go into hospital, that we come out with our bits where they should be. Lissie, as well as going through a terrible emotional trauma, you have been subjected to some physically traumatic surgey, some of which may have been unnnecessary if they hadn't f**ed up your csection in the first place! Best wishes to you and your family and I hope you heal quickly!
Definitely stick to the gin, don't drink tea, that makes you wee more...

lissielou · 15/02/2007 10:40

thanks. was starting to think (with the way some of the nurses were talking) that i was being a bit unreasonable. but the doc that told me about the probs they found was genuinely concerned.

Fingerscrossed2007 · 15/02/2007 11:11

Lis
Did you see my note asking whether it is the same hospital trust as did the c-section? If it isn't it is the FIRST hospital that you need to adddress your very serious complaints to. The word omplaint (and in your case followed by the threat of legal action)should get attention. When you are feeling a little stonger it is definately worth talking to a solicitor.
((hugs))

feedmenow · 15/02/2007 11:41

Lissie, good to have you back with us ( ), although wish that you didn't have to be ( )
I was so p**d off yesterday....took a phone call at work from an old (in all senses of the word!) friend of my dads who, in the conversation, said that she's heard I was pg again to which I paused and replied, well no, as I had a m/c. She sort of said, oh well, it was probably a good thing really!!
Now I know that lots of people try and say that its "for the best" cos there was obviously a problem with something, but the way she said it didn't even sound like thats what she was trying to mean. It sounded to me more like a "well, you have enough trouble coping with 2 children anyway", or "you're a bad mother" or something.

So it may not even be midday, but I feel the need for a shot of something more exciting in my mineral water.....

MrsMcJnr · 15/02/2007 11:45

I agree with the others Lissie, there is something that they can do to compensate you for their mistakes and you are certainly entitled to it. Make sure you have all the names of the Drs you dealt with this time round as you'll need their input if you do need to go beyond putting the squeeze on. I hope you are feeling a bit better physically now?

Impatience · 15/02/2007 12:55

FMN, that really is an astonishing bad reply!

(Look up the Halifax or BoScotland: make yourself an easy £100 to help feel better. Getting money out of big corps is my fav pasttime at the mo.)

Impatience · 15/02/2007 13:18

Er, what the heck is going on? I have loads of fm and ovary pain, on day 5! NOOOOOO. This happened in December and I had a stupid 40-odd day cycle, fm just kept on coming and I didn't ever establish whether I ov'd. Please NOT NOW. Just when I had decided to have 2, possibly 3 more months of concerted trying and then throw in the towel. Poke your finger in my eye why don't you

Fingerscrossed2007 · 15/02/2007 13:24

do OPK's work for you? if so I'd dash and get a pack. Appreiate it won't necc help you schedule a sperm-meeting-egg on this occaison but it could help you work out if you have just ov's really early these two times.

Impatience · 15/02/2007 13:35

I think I still have some at home. Am going to pee on sticks at least twice a day this month to avoid missing peak, but wasn't expecting to have to start so early! And to really confuse things my nipples are agony. What the bleeding heck is my body doing?!!

Impatience · 15/02/2007 13:48

OK, OK, my apologies for brief freak-out there. This morning I was so pleased with how sane I was feeling. Obviously needed a blip to iron out the average. I think I'm getting my (feeble) grip back now: I'll pee on a stick later, and just see what happens. Phew.

(Are any of you believing my pretence of sanity...?)

lissielou · 15/02/2007 14:46

pass the gin. getting my stitches out in a bit

sorry, meant to reply. same trust, same hospital. unfortunately the major one in shropshire

lissielou · 15/02/2007 14:48

ps took pics of bruising as well, its horrendous. is this normal for ep?

MrsMcJnr · 15/02/2007 14:51

Major one is good Lissie, has more money. Getting something out of them might make you feel better. Hope the stich removal goes ok