It'll never happen, and even if it does, something will go wrong. Hut of Doom part deux

[duchesse]

There wasn't any more room for moaning with all those grinny smilies's eyes following me around the room.

Suspected (my own self-diagnosis) perimenopause, anyone?

I have suspected hormone imbalance at the moment, so called my consultant... Guess what... he has not called me back...

But last night I read more of professor Regan's book and back onto the clotting disorder, so phoned her secretary... As they routinely test much more clotting tenancies and have different testing practises, than those that I received. She does not have a private appointment until June! So I have tracked down a clinic in Birmingham - pregnancy loss clinic... and they said they can complete the tests again for a second opinion.

But I also have an appointment with the fertility consultant on Tues, for my fertility and PCO...

Basically don't have a clue what's wrong with me... but really convinced there has to be something to cause all of this.

Any other suggestions... please dont suggest menopause...

Oh God, on what basis do you say that there is something wrong? Have you been trying for ages and ages?
Also, what are your periods like?

Sorry, just that we have decided to try for another baby this summer and i am very nervous that we wont be able to.

Hi Rahrah. I suspect that for a 24 week pregnancy that probably had to generate large amounts of hormone to keep itself going, you are till suffering the after-effects. It can take some women up to six months before periods return to normal, even if they are not breastfeeding. It is not usual, but not uncommon. Also, have they tested your adrenal function and insulin resistance? Just a thought, but after all the trauma you've been through, it may be that you have high cortisol levels. Although women in war zones seem to continue having babies, so maybe that doesn't have such as effect... I don't know.

I'm glad to be back in the Glum. It's reassuring, and less tiring than hoping.

Hi Donbean- Rahrah had a baby about 3 months ago, at 24 weeks, but he did not survive, and she is taking time to get back to normal hormonally.

Welcome to the Hut of Glum- this is the place for a good moan and to avoid chirpy comments about everything being "fine" if we just relax, etc...cos some of know for a fact it ain't like that.

If you are not feeling hopeless you may find our tone a little alarming here. Also, we drink a lot of (virtual) cocktails lie around smoking (virtual) weed. Did I mention the moaning?

Cheers duchesse, have made a note of those...might as well ask to be tested for those as well... I have read they can be a problem of PCO.

Donbean - hi there...Hope you are here for a good moan...

Knock knock, can I come in?
Ive been lurking the hut for a while as feeling down at heart with ttc however, tonight feel the need to enter the hut for real. [Takes comfy seat in the corner] Pass the cocktail tray please!

Everyone I know seems to be having babies or getting pg 1st pop. Its not bl**dy fair. winge winge...... I was ok about all the babies until a close friend told me today she is 12 weeks pg. She had the cheek to ask if I had any news, even though she knew we're blooming useless at getting pg.

I bless my lucky stars we have our miracle dd every day but have been ttc #2 again for another year now and its hard. Ive pretty much given up again now (pathetic I know), and think we have to talk to the clinic again (but as we failed so many times last time Im not sure they are going to be able to help). Its unexplained IF and dd was conceived while we were on the waiting list for pgd.

I thought that ttc#2 wouldnt be as hard as #1 (2.5 years) because you would already have a baby. But I was wrong - its just different. You cant avoid babies or children like we used to or even pg women as they are in all the places you go with a toddler. Dont even get me started on how many people ask 'so you must be thinking about number 2 then'.......

Ok, thats the vent. Im very glad to be able to have the Hut to come to. Hope you dont mind the gatecrash.

Take care all.

Can I join too? I'm so fed up of being cheerful!

We took 2.5 years to conceive dd. DH has an astronomically low sperm count. We were one month away from starting IVF/ICSI when I got pregnant naturally.

Dd is now 2.2 and like Stiki, I am so grateful for my wonderful child, but I desparately want another one. However, I need to face the fact that it is extremely unlikely ever to happen. I currently know 6 people who are either pregnant, or have had babies in the last 2 months. I'mn delighted for them all, but each announcement makes it harder to smile.

I can't even begin to imagine what it must feel like to decide to start trying for a baby, and to get pregnant without the month in, month out disappointment.

Sorry to whinge - thank heavens for the Hut of Doom.

Rahrah - I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you hear from the consultand soon. Re. hormone imbalance. When we were ttc the first time, tests showed that I had low progesterone and wasn't ovulating. I started acupuncture, and 3 months later when I was re-tested, my progesterone levels were normal. Would you consider investigating acupuncture?

the programme on bbc last night 'the truth about food' gave tips for increasing sperm count - to do with men making and drinking 2 fresh fruit smoothies a day, this helped to reduce the number of sperm with damaged dna and they were hopeful about incresing the count too - one chap's count rocketed. May be worth a try?

Hello huttees - Can I join? - Have lurked in original Hut and now have good reason to enter! (Grabs cocktails from the tray - one in each hand!)
Have just had the crappest 2 nights of entire ttc process so far - Am on CD 15 today and usually ov 12-14 (have actually stopped using ov tests now as got my hopes up too much every month) and for the last 2 nights (of course best 2 nights in whole !@!*? month) BDing has been a complete failure due to DH's performance anxiety IYKWIM - ARGHHHH!- ending last night in huge sobbing row and me storming to spare room.
DH keeps asking when my days are - obviously trying to be supportive and involved but I have now resolved to either not tell him or lie next month as it just creates too much stress and rowing.
Am on the Feb TTC thread but may as well get on the March one now (self-pitying snivel)

Thanks so much londonlottie - it is so rubbish but helps to know I am not alone. It just gets you questioning everything and the harder it becomes (or not!! - sorry couldn't resist that one - mean -I know!) the more despondent I get - we are having problems TTC anyway but if we can't even BD it is never going to happen.

Well done duchesse for getting another thread - thought I would pop head round door and check that the gang are all safely installed in latest shabby hut. [pulls up chair and grabs a large g and t]

Okay so Im back on the drink again and soooooooooo glad to be in here! was lurking outside cos I had a smug look of optimism as thought we would start IVF in Feb - just one month trying au naturale... but oh no...
[seaside - I reckon you and I have the same star sign! - long slug of gin]

ov'd yesterday - 2 days early - but no good cos I was stuck in one city due to storm - and he was stuck at home then get a call this morning from DH in a panic to say one of his b**cks has swollen up - sheer panic - and that there was no way he could do the deed...ever again (why are men so black and white) he got an emergency appointment with GP and now on antibiotics x 14 days - so now no IVF for Feb either......[finished drink] so its pretty bad - we are sooooo pissed off - and now he's blaming a strain when he had to give his sample to IVF clinic on Wed and fears he will never be able to do it again - MEN...I am trying to be sympathetic but I am sooo upset... time is running out and I just feel so panicked and fedup - think we need the virtual spliff in here...anyone ready to roll??

Oh LatenightOwl - that sucks big time - you defintely win worst story of the night so far. My DH thought he was "permanently" damaged last night after hours of trying so he proceeded to "perform" alone (in front of me) - and then didn't understand why I started sobbing - he said he just needed to check he still worked - Great - he does - but not when it matters

I just dont think they get it Seaside I think they think it should always be pleasure for them and if we are lucky to enjoy it and get BFP then that wasnt too bad at all... When the GP says try 2 - 3 times a week through out the month I just go home and cry I know exactly where you are coming from Seaside... DH has now gone to bed cos he only got 2 hours sleep last night - he was worried poor thing - he thought he would have to go to hospital to day to have it chopped off - of course I reassured him that you only need one for a BFP! I dont think TTC was in his mind - do you??

Cheers LL ice in G and T is just what the doc ordered! (clink of glasses, slurp of G and T, and deep inhale of - Camberwell Carrot ) well if there is no BD on the horizon a girl has got to try and get her fun from somewhere.... I have never cheated on DH but sometimes I just wish I had a little black book of fit men just willing to have fun.... on my terms ...if only eh (this carrot is pretty strong..where did you dig this up from LL )

You are so right LatenightOwl - DH says he wants a BFP as much as I do but doesn't seem to make the link that he has to put in some effort even when he doesn't feel like it - we girls have to do that loads even when not ttc!!
And somehow he always manages to make me feel guilty about it if it doesn't happen
He also seems to think we have all the time in the world and it will just happen but I feel like the months (and years) are slipping away and I really wanted at least 2 DC.

Same too Seaside - this is really spooky - are you sure your DH is not my DH - I sense an x file moment here or too much spliff and G and T ....
I do try to be patient and to help him I mark on the calender key dates for TTC cos otherwise we ended up arguing most nights as I worried about jumping on him and he had to get "worked up" about it (think Im hearing role reversal here Think this TTC lark has made our BD sooooo sad... need some injection of fun (but not in the hut - clearly!)

Yes think our DH's must be one and the same! We went to the GP's together in October (after 7 months TTC properly) abd he said try and BD at least every 2-3 days all month - DH just nodded and I nearly screamed - are you joking - never in a million years!! - Haf the time I am sure he waits for me to go to sleep before he comes to bed and then I wake up in the morning fuming - Again - does nothing for the mood - It is just a frustrating viscious circle.

Pass the G&T!

Sorry loads of typos - must be the G&T! - and the extreme tiredness after no sleep last night. Oh well off to bed - alone I'm sure

Wow... lots of new people... hi guys

Littlefish - I'm starting reflexology, I have an appointment on the 30th. I thought I would start with that as it sounds more relaxing than acupuncture. The women that does it is a midwife and she was recommended by the fertility clinic. I was attending the fertility clinic prior to conceiving with Bertie, but ended up getting pregnant naturally. Was trying like a lot of you guys for quite a long while.

God, just woke up after a particularly heavy session in the hut, brushed the fag ash out of my hair, crawled over the empty bottles and found you've all moved to a new hut. Pleased to see it's attracting new, corruptible blood. Nothing doing for me this month as abstaining bding prior to holiday. Just thought I'd assure you, I'm still symptom spotting though.

How shitty to have to add all that stress over sex and performance into a life of F/TTC. Poor you. I've gotta dash, but I've left a nice couple of spliffs on the table for you. Next to the enormous crate of beer. See you soon x

Aaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Feel better now.