Trying to conceive for 10 months or more. Thread 5. All ten plussers welcome.

[lucieloos]

Thread for anyone TTC for over ten months. Please feel free to join us!

I think I''m going to have to, for my sanity Lucie. I'm literally spending half the day googling random combinations of words! I'm not very hopeful though. My pre-af headache started yesterday and considering I was effectively 9dpo, that makes it right on time. I find that worrying, as I always assumed they were due to progesterone dropping but since I'm taking the utrogestan, this shouldn't be the case, should it? Also, not one single symptom that I can realistically consider. No spotting, no cramping (except for one or two 'is that a cramp? Hmmm, it might be' moments), no sore boobs and no sickness. I bloody hate waiting. Plan is to test Sat morning, which is 7dp5dt. I hope you are as ok as you can be. I am thinking of you.

Eeekk MPP, Sammy also had the 9dpo headache and I told her at the time that was one of my bfp symptoms last time. 9dpo is the most common day for implantation to occur. Really hope that you have success would be nice for it to work for one of us.

Thanks for thinking of me. I'm ok I know we have more chances and I could even be in for baseline scan on the NHS the end of next week if af shows up promptly when I stop the meds it's just wearing though and a bit of luck would be nice.

Oh mpp, you must be going out of your mind. Thinking of you... sat seems a good time to test.

Thanks Lucie. I am trying very hard to just forget about it but its pretty much impossible haha. I have just emailed the clinic again as they told me they'd given me enough utrogestan to last til OTD but I counted them this morning and I only have another 5 days worth which leaves me 4 days short. Looks like I'll have to order more. That's fab that you could get your NHS go in so quickly if this cycle doesn't work! I'm still hoping your result changes in a few days though! If you need to talk or anything, you know where I am/we are xxx

Thank you for thinking of me, Star! :-)

I hope that you are just a bit early Lucie. But you know your body.

MPP it would appear that getting my smear on tuesday afternoon triggered ovulation slightly early as I have had a high temperature wednesday morning and this morning. Sadly we haven't DTD in a week as DH has been too tired (despite me warning him at the end of last week that I would ovulate this week). WE tried Sunday, monday, yesterday adn this morning and nothing happened. I got a not-quite-positive on an opk on Tuesday and a definite positive yesterday. But I am pretty certain that I ovulated tuesday evening, slightly earlier than normal for me but I suspect triggered by the smear. I am utterly gutted as my temps were really good and stable this month after being all over the place last month and I really thought we were in with a chance. Sadly the not managing to DTD is a regular problem. I left for work in floods of tears this morning after starting a conversation with him that I think we should just think about adoption soon. I am 38, there aren't that many chances for us to get pregnant left. If we do I miscarry and about 1/3 of the time we miss the chance anyway because he can't take the pressure. There is so little chance of this kworking naturally I have no idea why we are bothering putting ourselves through all the testing - he has a SA next wednesday, I suspect that isn't going to work as he is going to be under pressure to produce a specimen.

It wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't stuck in a job I absolutely hate as it is flexible, pays well and has good maternity cover. The job and the disappointments between them are utterly destroying me.

Brenna, I'm so sorry to hear that. We also had similar problems when ttc naturally as it was very forced due to timings and dh found it difficult. It really wasn't an enjoyable time so I really feel for you. I know the disappointment when you know your fertile time has passed and you weren't able to make the most of it. I hope your DH is able to do his SA. Big hugs to you.

I have created our new thread over in infertility now. The link is here. We can finish off this thread first but feel free to amble on over when you're ready.

Oh Brenna, I'm sorry. I think its quite a common issue when ttc. We had it a few times too, and its difficult. It sent my DH into a spiral a couple of times - the more it didnt work, the harder he tried, the worse it got. Would you both consider trying AI? You could help him, then use something like a calpol syringe? I've no experience or idea of success with that method, but I've read about it as a workaround on a few of the threads I stalk watch.

Heading over to the new thread now, Lucie! Hope to see everyone there!

Brenna, I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a rough time :-(

I've heard of something called The Stork which is a kit to help with insemination. I don't know anyone that has used it but could be worth a try x

Brenna I'm sorry you're having a tough time - it must be hard for our DH's to perform on demand. I think there is added pressure and anxiety when they work themselves up that they can't if you see what I mean. I second what MPP suggested, could you try AI?

MPP good luck on Saturday - sounds like a sensible time to test. Hoping for a good news for you!

Lucie that's good that you can start the NHS cycle so soon but quietly hoping for good news for you this weekend xxx

Well I've just had a shitty text from a "friend"!! I told her in April what we were going through and she was brilliant at the time - really supportive and I've just received a text from her gushing about how she's pregnant, due on New Year's Eve, "so so so excited" etc etc how are you doing must catch up soon... Errr wtf?! How am I doing?!

I'm so angry - I'm more pissed off and bitter about how insensitive her message was rather than having been baby bombed!! I'm going to wait a few days before responding. I just can't at the moment

Brenna, I can relate with what you are going through with your DH. It's exactly what happen this week with mine! We dtd just the day before I ovulated. But when I showed up with my smiley face on that stick, he couldn't do anything and got angry at himself... It can be frustrating for everyone when that happen... I know he's very sensitive too and I'm trying to go easy on him but we are two in the same boat and he has to take part of the struggle as well... I think! We talked about it with our GP and he recommended vitamins for him but also gave him a number to get in contact with psychotherapists to be able to talk about it if he feels like it.

Mappebaby, the "best friend" of my DH who knows we are trying since more than a year told him that well, "HE just need to dtd once and it worked. haha." Well, that didn't make me laugh. And my DH were crushed. And now that his wife is showing, we are suddenly invited for diner (which never happen before), and I just said no. I don't see why I should put myself through that. I'm currently in campaign to look for better friends for DH... ;)
I don't think they realise how hard it can be. So even if you friend didn't contact you with bad intentions, choosing yourself will never be a bad decision...

Brenna, I'm so sorry you're feeling so down. It is so common. We had that problem a few times and always on THE most important day. When I had the trigger shot, the next shag was the most crucial and he got stage fright at the ideal time and then again the following morning. It's awful because you don't want to make a big deal of it, so I pretend it doesn't matter, but he can tell I'm devastated and it just makes things worse. With the trigger shot there wasn't much I could do as he injects me, but with opks I just stopped telling him when I was positive and with preseed I just had to stop using it as it was like a big sign saying "STAR IS FERTILE, ERECTION DIE NOW". Pretty much. Sorry to joke, it isn't funny and I know how heartbreaking it is so I'm just saying I do empathise. The other ladies have given some good suggestions and I really hope he can do his SA next week.

Maple, omg that friend! I really do think that unless you've been through this people don't understand how awful it is and how galling a message like that is. I do find that my pregnant friends can do no right at the moment, but they are keeping their distance mostly which I'm grateful for and I hope that they aren't resenting me too much for not asking any questions at all about their pregnancy. You probably need to give this friend a bit of a wide berth for a few weeks, that is majorly insensitive.

I have thought about AI, but it wouldn't work as it is a total systems failure. We wouldn't even need a kit as I work in a lab and can acquire all the sterile syringes pots we would need. We have had problems with it in the past and I thought we were over that, but no, it is back. And this week I am just not in the best frame of mind to deal with it. I am seriously giving adoption thought at the moment.

I have been and done a GT30 HIIT class at the gym, despite still feeling a bit nauseous after Tuesday and failing to get time to eat lunch at work. I feel a lot more nauseous now but apparently aced the class and am visibly much improved since my first class - this was my third.

Oh, Brenna, please be careful and make sure you eat! I hope you are feeling a little better today.

The new thread is already moving along, guys. Make sure you all come join us when you're ready!

I have been scoping you lot out for a while now... Sounds creepy. Anyway! I'm Alice and I reckon I'm about 4 days away from joining you guys. I'm ttc 1 and will start having tests after my dildocam in Sept as I bleed between AFs. Yay 😠

Oh, I've missed the new thread... Couldn't find it.

After 14 months of TTC we are expecting DHs results back on Monday, hope they come out okay as I could not deal with both of us having issues! Waiting on Monday to get out referral :)

We are over on thre Infertility board now with 18 months and over in the title Alice and TMI. Fingers crossed for your DH's results TMI. Accepts cake gratefully from Alice.

Alice and TMI - I'm at pretty much exactly the same point as Alice (9.5 months trying, one chemical pregnancy in Jan and a long wait since then). Maybe we should create a new 10 months plus board and get a gang together?