Aged 35 or over TTC #2?

[RememberToSmile1980]

Hi ladies
I'm trying to conceive no. 2. My aim was to ttc from January of this year - however due to one thing or another (very stressful time at work!) I have not been giving it my all. I have now decided I need to focus on ttc no.2 as I am very conscious of the growing age gap! Please join for a friendly chat and to hopefully support each other!

Stats
Age - 35
Ttc - #2
CD - 21
DS - 3 years 10months!

Don't want to obsess about it! However I think it's inevitable!

[tinkwastaken]

I had my positive opk last weekend and my CP coincided with it. But after 3 days I hadn't had a thermal shift so I think it must have been an anovulatory cycle which I've never had before so putting down to mc in Feb. So I drank for the first time in months last night and I'm feeling it today!

Next month I'm not going to bother with temping.

[Novinosincebambino]

Hi Tink my cycle is still all over the place too since MC at start of Feb. Didn't get AF until 10 weeks after surgery. Also had a F*$% it! Moment and drank for the first time in ages. Seemed like a good idea at the time. hope you get a BFP soon.

[Fingerscrossedxx]

Hello all. Please may I join?
36
TTC #2
DS 3 year 8 months

We got lucky when we TTC #1 and got BFP at second cycle. This time we haven't been "actively trying" (no temping / OPK) but we haven't used protection since last July and haven't got lucky... Quite disheartened really, as age gap is growing and I'm not getting any younger. It doesn't help that my period is quite irregular. A week late last month, we DTD at sort of the right time (or so I thought) so I had my hope up but AF got me in the end...

Fingers crossed for everyone to get their BFP soon. And have a great weekend!

[RememberToSmile1980]

Hi Novino, tink and fingerscrossed
Sorry to hear that some of you have had losses. A miscarriage must be horrible and very difficult. I know a few of my close friends that have had miscarriages and it was tough.
Fingerscrossed I am also anxious about the age gap and the longer it seems to be getting as I feel as though the older I get the more risks there are! Can't win!

[RaRa25]

Hi can I join too?
New to MN do not used to all the abrieviations! What does CD mean?
Anyway...
36
Ttc# 2
DS 3 yrs 7months

DS was a total surprise, had no idea I was pregnant for 6 weeks, had no symptoms at all. Only been Ttc for 3 months but I seem to be thinking about it a lot and already have a list of baby names which is probably ridiculous!

[Spindelina]

(CD = cycle day)

Hello. May I join?

37
(Nearly) TTC no 2
DD is 3.10
CD nothing yet - have just finished miscarrying attempt no 1 at DC2. Got pg first cycle in Feb; first pregnancy took two cycles then went without hitch, so pretty optimistic about getting (and staying!) pg again soon. Wondering whether to leave it until I've had a period, or just to POAS regularly. The sooner the better - esp as my maternity pay will be quite a lot higher if I get pg before the end of June.

[RaRa25]

Thanks spin obvious now!
Sorry to hear of yours and others loss. Heartbreaking to hear how common it is.

[RememberToSmile1980]

Hi RaRa
You may want to start using opk's? Spindelina so sorry for your loss. I hope it happens for you again - and sticks this time. I'm due AF any day now - will wait and see what happens X

[RaRa25]

Thanks for the welcome.
RememberTo I did use opk this month, AF due in the next couple of days, so I guess we will find out at a similar time. I wish I could relax a bit more about it, I mean I'm not stressing or anything and I keep pretending that it will be fine if it takes a few months or so but really I know I will be disappointed if it doesn't happen this month.
Also I feel guilty as my SIL, who I am very close to, has decided to stop Ttc after 3 failed IVF cycles.

[Penguin13]

Welcome all the the new people. I'm sorry for your losses If, Novino and Spin. Apologies if I have missed anyone.

Now on CD41 and pretty much over waiting for AF to rear her ugly head. Fx she will be along soon so I can get tracking properly. Was using clearblue OPKs last cycle but not very consistently and stopped using around CD18 as I assumed I must have missed my peak. Now thinking probably didn't ov. Might just temp next time and see how that goes, though with an extremely wakeful 17mo not sure how consistent the results will be.

[Shrimpymummy]

Sorry there are so many of us in the same boat, although at the same time it's reassuring to know you're not the only one (thanks for the thread RememberTo!) Hopefully it will all work out for us all as quickly as possible!

Am in limbo between waiting for first AF post surgery (with no idea when that might be) and hoping wildly optimistically that I'll get a BFP without even getting that far, which seems pretty unlikely as it took 12 cycles for DD and 6 for this last pregnancy. Nobody ever warns you about how rotten TTC can be, do they?

[RememberToSmile1980]

Hi Shrimpy,
I hope you're ok. I know what you mean - no one ever tells you how hard it can be and the dramas surrounding it. Without even trying we become obsessive and symptom spot! Let's hope we can be a good source of support to each other! The one good thing is that we are all already mummies - so we know we can get there and do it! Fingers crossed it will happen again. Would love to hear about a bfp from someone soon!

[MrsGAlli80]

Hi ladies, can I join ?
I am 35 ttc no.2 and have been for 2plus years now. Recently found out I do have pcos ( I always thought I had). Took 5 months to conceive our little girl and 4 for our angel baby. So Its been a long road as after the mmc it's all I could think about having that feeling again, but it's just not happened . We are under infertility clinic currently just need to get all the tests done my sides done at least just waiting on hubby, before they might offer clomid. In the mean time I am using agnus castus and reducing sugar intake as well as following WW, I did ovulate last cycle so I was happy about that so low on cd 12 seeing what this cycle brings.

[Spindelina]

Thanks all. For me personally (and this is very very personal), of all the different ways I could be not pregnant three months after starting TTC, a MMC in my second pregnancy is the least bad.

I haven't had fertility problems, and I've had a previous easy pregnancy so I know it can be done. Finding out at the scan meant we had childcare sorted - there was no mad dash to EPU or anything. They reckon it stopped growing really early - five weeks or so - so the actual miscarriage (started bleeding the day after the scan) was not much worse than a heavy period.

So, all in all, I'm alright with it. Feeling very prosaic, onwards and upwards etc.

But I would really like to get my qualifying week in before my hours drop in November!! Attempt #1 had a due date about a week before my hours go down - even better would be to get my mat pay based on full time hours, then go down for a few months before mat leave :D

Oh, and I'll be testing tomorrow, but aiming for a BFN - haven't tested since BFP in Feb.

[IfAtFirstUDontSucceed]

Sorry to put such a dampener on the thread but is anyone else obsessing with their age and the chances of getting pregnant and the increase in risk?

I've never given it much thought until very recently and I've started giving myself unofficial deadlines on when to give up trying (non of which has been discussed with DH yet however!).

I think it's mainly because it took so long to have DS that I'm imagining it's going to be the same with more challenges!

Sorry to add such a dreary post!

[beckiwiththegoodhair]

Hi to all the newbies, welcome! If, I totally understand where you are coming from. Getting pregnant happened almost instantly when i was in my 20's and I didn't worry too much about risks etc, but i do worry now. If I don't get a BFP this month, i know i will begin to question if it is because I'm older now. I worry about the disk of Downs Syndrome too, id be scared to have an amnio and don't even want to think what i would do if the results were not what you wanted to hear. I'm fit, physically fitter now than when I had my other kids, so hopefully in good shape for birth, but i reckon the pregancy, along with full time work and looking after the other kids, will wipe me out more now at nearly 40!

[beckiwiththegoodhair]

Risk

[Penguin13]

It's a good question if. I am not so wildly different in age as I was 34 when I conceived DD and 36 now. I guess there is a psychological thing of being over 35 but not sure if things are as drastic as the daily mail would like us to believe Despite the MMC last time we were really incredibly lucky in terms of how long it took us (cycle 2 both pregnancies) but for some reason I just have an instinct that things will not be so smooth this time. Not particularly age linked though.

Have decided to be a bit proactive so reading 'it starts with the egg' and trying to vaguely follow the advice without going crazy - I figure it can't hurt and self care has somewhat fallen by the wayside since DD appeared so replenishing my vitamins etc can only be a good thing.

[groundhogday79]

Hi. I'm 36 and also ttc #2. #1 however is almost 16

[RememberToSmile1980]

Hi If
Don't worry you haven't made the thread go dreary!
Honestly speaking I am (in my head!) very concerned that this time around there are so many things that can go wrong! I just feel that as last time it was so easy it can't possibly be the same again. Also - as you know more - I was blissfully ignorant the first time around! I hate the negative feelings I have. However my hubby is extremely laid back and totally the opposite of me! In my head I'm giving myself until the end of the year!

[RememberToSmile1980]

Hi Groundhog,
Welcome! How long have you been ttc?

[groundhogday79]

I have been on the depo for about 4 years. I was due my last injection in February which we cancelled.

[tinkwastaken]

I think I saw a link on MN to a story about TTC over 35. It was a really good link and put my mind at ease. Will have to see if I can find it!

[tinkwastaken]

This isn't the original story but a BBC take on the original.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-24128176

My friend had her first at 46 and second at 48.

[RememberToSmile1980]

Just read it - seems to put things into perspective!