TTC after miscarriage - lucky thread number 3

[Brenna24]

Still hopeing for 3x3 BFPs for this month. Hopefully thread 3 will do that.

Mrs that's negative. Mine look the same. My cm looks more yellowy after ov which it is today. Not white or clear.

They'll be able to tell you your progesterone levels and tell you if you've ovulated. Think the level needs to be 30 I'm not sure though.

So... I got the faintest of lines on a pregnancy test this morning however I'm not sure if it's actually a BFP or leftover hormones from the miscarriage.

I don't feel in the least bit preggo and actually didn't think I'd even ovulated yet and havent had af since mc. Only tested as I'm meant to have a smear test tomorrow and have been having stomach cramps as though af was coming the last few days and DH suggested I test. It took 3 weeks for a test to go negative following mc but I was only using 25mlU tests and I used a 10mlU test today so more sensitive which is why I'm not sure if it's left over hormones. Thinking I will cancel the smear test anyway just in case.

I was testing positive six weeks after D&C

Hi ladies, echoing the feelings of unfairness and frustration. So I tested again today, still positive but not any darker than my test two days ago, which was another definitely visible but faint second pink line. I get that it might take a bit longer for it to darken so accept I might need to be patient. The harder bit is I've had brown spotting twice when wiping today, once when I arrived at work, and once when I arrived home after work. Otherwise nothing when wiping, nothing on underwear. That resonates with me with what happened at the start of my MC last time, although I didn't have spotting this early. I really struggle with the limbo and not knowing which way it's going to go. I don't want to give up hope too soon. My DH is very sensible and practical, absorbs the facts, keeps calm and doesn't express much emotion about it. Trying to be strong for me I think. Nobody else in real life knows I'm pregnant again, which I may need to rethink as I need a bit more emotional support to get through another MC, if that's what this is. DH didn't want to tell anyone until further along this time, I'd lean the opposite way and find it easier to be upfront. Will try to talk to him more when he gets home..

Sorry to hear that lucky. It must be really tough. Nothing anyone will say will make you feel better. I also struggle with limbo. I would prefer to just know either way. When I had my miscarriage that was my biggest fear - falling pregnant again and getting through it. Now though, I just want to fall pregnant! The whole journey is so tough and emotionally draining. Just try to be kind to yourself xxx

Flourishing the guidelines seem to change from area to area but my EPAC routinely do and extra scan if you have had problems before. I was told by my midwife there that they normally do it at 8 weeks but since it is likely that Rowan died the day after seeing a heartbeat at 8 weeks (we just didn't find out for a long time), so she told me to try and get it for 10 weeks. She told me I would probably have to argue for that but it makes sense to me. I would now find a scan at 8 weeks no more reassuring than not being scanned at all.

Oooh, everything crossed waiting. Tentative congratulations.

Mrs that is negative.

I have everything crossed for you Lucky. It can take a while for the lines to get any stronger and bleeding is not that unusual at this stage (not that any of that will make you feel any better). I really hope this is your time.

More spotting for me this evening too. And lots of cramps. 14dpo so AF is due tomorrow and it feels like she will be here right on time. I was so upset at work today. I was stressed anyway by work and I am so fed up of the unfairness of it all. I very nearly cried at work for no other reason than just because I am fed up. I have 4 days off over easter but I have to go in every day still to feed my cells, so it doesn't feel like a break from work at all and I desperately need that as we are going in circles trying to get this protocol to work. Who was it who said the definition of madness was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result? Becuase right now I feel like I am going mad. At work I get a new set of cells, tend them lovingly for 3 weeks (or not so lovingly this week), harvest them, test them, tweak the protocol for the others I have going and repeat. At home we shag our way through the fertile window and some time either side, wait, cry through AF and repeat. I. Am. Going. Mad.

I am being proactive this evening and am doing lots of cooking. We have fish and broccoli for the next few days and a big pot of soup to use up all the bits of veg and veg I bought when it was reduced in the fridge. My sister gave me the contents of her store cupboard before she moved to china so I am getting rid of some of the duplicates I have there by baking a carrot cake to take to work and making rice pudding with mango and peaches to use up some fruit I have lying around. Then I am going to go and clean the living room and bathroom and sweep the hall floor.

Lucky so sorry you're having to worry about this and fx it's nothing to worry about. My DH wasn't keen on telling people either but I needed to during my last pg and I'm glad I did because I needed that support especially when it became clear I was likely to MC. I only told a few people and they all knew about my previous MCs anyway. Personally I hate the whole 12 wk silence thing, I think it has more to do protecting other people feelings than the pregnant women's/couples feelings.

Lucky, I have (red) spotting too and cramps. I am petrified.

And The Witch is here. That is me out ladies for this month. We need another 2 to make it to our 3x3 and everyone is under strict instructions to hang on to their little beans after getting the double stripe of honour.

Oh Jo I'm sorry to hear that. I know one of my good friends who is pregnant at the moment had red spotting not long after she got her BFP and she's had a positive 12 week scan since. I'm holding onto the thought that spotting doesn't have to mean MC, just that because the only experience I have of being pregnant is that it ends in MC, my experience is sounding more true to me than my positive thought efforts. Thanks ladies for the support, it's made me feel less lost and alone with my feelings tonight.

Jo and Lucky - I know it is so easy for us to say but please try and stay calm. Spotting in early pregnancy is relatively normal and you only need to worry (from what I know) if is accompanied by pain. You both must be 4/5 weeks - is that right? Could you go to the EPU tomorrow and ask for a scan? I have everything crossed for you and so hope it all comes right for you. I am sure it will. Keep us updated and sending you lots of thoughts.

Brenna shit I am sorry. I feel your pain on the cyclical madness-inducing nature of this post-MC world. I hope you have lots of lovely food and comfort tonight.

I am sure AF is on its way too this weekend. I am getting SO bloated by the day. I wore a leather skirt to work today and by 730pm on the way home, it was so uncomfortable I had to unzip it and pull it down beneath my coat on the way home! Thankfully it was a v quiet train! It is driving me insane - I just feel like I need to be popped, let out a massive AF and then I'll deflate. My post-MC body is so sensitive to any hormones it seems.

xx

Brenna I'm so sorry the witch is here.

Thanks Lucky chances are as yours is brown that it is old or implantation blood.
Will be watching out for your updates - really hope that you won't have anything further and the rest of the pregnancy is long, event free and healthy. I don't think you can do anything this early can you? Even with my MMC I didn't have the cramps like this but I did have two spots of blood (no other signs). Just have to wait but I don't have the patience.

Hope you are ok Jo - will be thinking of you xx

Keeping fingers crossed for you Jo and Lucky, I have no doubt I'd be just as worried if I were in your shoes. Sorry to read so many of us are struggling to stay positive. I'm feeling reasonably strong at the moment, holding on to the fertile after mc idea, but I reckon I'll be pretty devastated when my fist AF after mc comes. Looks like at least I'll have somewhere to vent my frustration if that comes to pass. Stay strong ladies, and if you're not in the tww, drink wine!

I hope everything is ok for you too Jo

Brenna looks like you're a fellow scientist? Hope you'll find your groove again soon!

Keep everything crossed for you jo and lucky.

I am now officially on cd6 which all sounds very positive. Except that I I'm still freaking myself out about getting pregnant again. DH is ready for trying again (largely due to the lure of the smep method ).
In my heart I know I'm ready to try again but I have this nagging doubt in the back of my mind about it all going wrong again. I already suffer from anxiety so trying to keep my head in check is very difficult.

I just keep repeating to myself what's coming will come and we will meet it when it does. Got a few nice trips planned in April to try keep myself sane.