Ttc#1 Lucky no.13. The one where Doreen and Hugh ride the honeymoon gondola down the fallopian canal.

[StarkyTheDirewolf]

Hugh enjoys ISW and his love affair with Doreen. He watches out for skittle tits and weepyitis. Mrs Arseholey Fucknut (Af) shows up when you least want her but brings wine and soft cheese as a consolation prize.

We don't have rules as such but expect to be talked down from the ledge with kind and well meaning but firm words if you get too hysterical. But most importantly don't convince yourself you're pregnant in the tww That is paramount!

We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts. We want a fanny full of determined Doreen, not unicorn farts and gnome tears with extra sparkle. We've been going a while now so the novelty has somewhat worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area.

Post your stats and add your dates. We have a register thanks to kats stats I am resident piss stick queen and if you don't test, you get a Starky's Star

When you post stats, add your predicted test/af date. We are currently running at about 49% pregnant with the grads thread over in ante-natal which we all hope to join soon.

Link to thread 12.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2580240-Thread-12-TTC-1Trying-is-the-fun-part-said-by-nobody-ever-whos-actually-trying?pg=1&order=

so was just falling asleep last night, when my cat decided to take a short cut across the bed walking across by boobs. Ow! that woke me up !
i think i can definitely class my boobs as tender (though i think it is just pre-AF)

It's great reading this thread, love the idea giving birth to a malteaser! I've not got much to add but my hamster used to stuff malteasers (that I thought I'd, ahem, hidden) into her pouches, the chocolate would melt and go all around her mouth then she would wash herself and end up covered in chocolate.

Totally agree with the 'Yay, congrats on being preggers' combined with 'Oh god, why can't it be mmmmeeeeeee!'. I'm off to see a friend this afternoon who had a miscarriage at the same time as me but got upduffed almost immediately afterwards and now has a 6 week old! Ah well, I'll go pee on an opk to make me feel better

Morning ladies
Had a big talk and massive cry with OH this morning
Told him I cant cope with the pressure on my own. I honestly cant.
People say relax about it. It makes me want to punch them
All fine if you are in your twenties and get preggo first time.
But I hear the clock ticking so loudly I just can not afford to be relaxed about it. And as for stress affecting TTC, it has to be proper stress, not just the crazy tempting so none of that if you dont relax it wont happen crap please
Anyhow, how do you guys do it? How do you keep the balance between keeping hopeful and positive, but knowing that there is a chance that it wont happen to you?

I dont think it will happen to me. I am a positive person, but I am very good at predicting certain things... I just feel it wont happen soon and I know I will stop trying if it doesnt happen in a year.
Should I just stop all together? This is causing damage to me and the relationship

Hugs ever how did the talk go, is your oh understanding?

Good morning everyone.
I'm sorry to hear people are having trouble with relationships and all that- particularly ever. What did DH say after you let him know how you've been feeling?

I think we all need to remember that it can be completely normal to take some time to conceive. We've had most of our members here just popping in for a month or two and then popping out with little beans. But they are the lucky ones. We will all be lucky eventually. But we are just more normal. That's what I'm telling myself anyway. I'm trying not to let DH see if I am stressed about it because he is a man and doesn't care and I think that's just the way it is.

Men and women are different species. Apart from Starks DHbwho knows what he is! It's tough being a woman but look what we get to do!

Empowering post end. Off to get eyebrows waxed. As we also have to try and be beautiful and it hurts. Urgh.

hugs ever

i'm sure we have our own ways, I certainly have low days.

Why don't you spend some nice days/evenings with OH enjoying yourself. no pressure. Just enjoy being a couple?

Last cycle - pretty much the same as all cycles:

cd1: oh hello AF, you finally decided to turn up? well at least i know where i stand you b*h
cd4: good bye to the bitch!..... come on roll on to FW.... this is the month, this is the month ... hang on ..... will Doreen be available ???
cd5-9: hello EPO!, hello opk, this is the month, this is the month ....... get in the mood for FW
cd10: what LH is here already AARRGGHHH!!!! ok,,,,,, get in the mood.... get in the moood.... hello Doreen!

cd17: i didn't do enough .... well maybe ??? .... no.... should have done better ..... but there is still hope?????.... don't get your hopes up .....
cd20: bloody 2ww..... no wait , its a SP - I will be positive, I will be positive....
cd 24: getting impatient....
cd 26: don't poas, don't poas, don't poas
cd 29: hmmm..... poas - BFN ah bugger.
cd 30+ : hello limboland, well this truly sucks now ......
.... and repeat....

Hep thats it exactly!!!
I only have 6 OPKs left. (From ummmm 50) I was planning on being chill this month and not bothering. Esp as we are away and can't dtd. But now im wondering if I can do a tactically placed OPKs to get the exact right day and then get a well timed DTD snuck in somehow. But that means I'll have to take my OPKs and DPV with me abroad. Which is not chilled.

kat i have a clear blue poas ov tester for travelling. Its more expensive, and only gives you a yes/no but its a lot easier that peeing in a cup. You can do a sneaky test, and have a shower whilst waiting for the results.

at home i am using the strips

I personally don't tell OH about the details of my testing. I just use it to help me get "in the mood" at the correct window - or rather focus my effort . If he isn't in the mood I don't push it.

The down side of this is we don't dtd enough .....

kat would you be stressed if you don't take them? Personally I'd want to - and aim for the well timed shag. Being all on hols and chilled out seems like a nice head space for getting knocked up.

Unlike my morning I waited for him to get home and pounced as soon as he got through the door All re stocked on Doreen now.

I have promised him if it doesn't work this month I won't share so much info next cycle - just keep up the increased DTD without saying a word re opks or cycles.

kwick how are you getting on?

for ever and jam. It really sucks sometimes doesn't it?

I don't think it's going to happen for us naturally in all honesty. I have no reason at all to think that but just a sneaky feeling. We agreed we would try until November then get help but it seems such a long time away when I want a baby so much.

On my more positive days, I try and remind myself it's normal to take up to a year and I don't exactly have form for patience.

Hep I love your description of the month! I also got my LH surge earlier than I expected, hoping it hasn't thrown us off this month. I don't tell my DH about opk results either, but I think he knows. I'm not normally so determined to dtd when he's so obviously shattered looking otherwise!

Sorry to hear about your troubles Ever. I nearly had a melt down last month with the whole ttc thing. My mother (who died when I was a child) struggled for years to conceive me and I'm an only child. I've always known I wanted children and been secretly terrified that I won't be able to have them, that it might be something I have from her but I can't ask about it now. I've also had a "premonition" that I'll need IVF but maybe I'm worrying too much!

I ended up settling on the knowledge that I desperately want children and will always keep trying for them, but to focus my attention on my DH. We're in this together (even if I keep some of my crazy about this from him!) and we'll have the rest of our lives together which I couldn't be happier about. At the end of the day we'll have each other and even without a baby I'm thankful for that.

I hope that helps in some way? Didn't mean for it to be such a long post!

That's brilliant hep!

Jam Ignore the gnome! He's just a pita and nothing but a bad influence in these uncertain times! X

Ever really sorry to hear you're having such a tough time at the moment. I'm completely with LovelyFishy on how to manage a hopeful/positive balance in life.

For me, I was absolutely dead certain for years that I never wanted children - for various (often barmy) reasons, including (but not limited to) the environment, the future of the world, my ability to provide for kids financially, my ability to provide for myself financially, and my mental stability and suitability as a parent (I've struggled with depression and anxiety in the past, and it freaked me out to think of that happening again if I were a parent). Then a couple of years ago I changed my mind, and decided I could manage all of those things, because the positive aspects of raising children massively outweigh all of those negatives. And after much planning and delaying, finally we began TTC at the end of last year.

But as it's become clear to me that making babies isn't actually as easy as it looks, and that there's still a strong chance that we won't manage it, I've had to reconsider my previous stance. I was always 100% happy at the prospect of spending the rest of my life together with my DH, as there are so many things that we would likely only achieve together if we don't have kids. Essentially, we all have two possible life paths ahead of us, both of which are equally full of potential, just different. I know that we can have a totally fulfilling life either way, so mostly I try not to worry.

In practice, at the moment, as we're still a bit new to the game of TTC, during the TWW I can still let my hopes get up to a silly level, and that's not cool. I wish I could be more zen about it. But already this month I feel a lot more chilled about the whole process than I did at the beginning, and I just keep reminding myself of all the cool things we can do together (places we can go, houses we can live, creative projects I can achieve with more time) if we don't have children in life.

Again, sorry for the long post. I just got all deep on you all

Lastly, Canters I just wanted to high five you on your mountain-hot tub-sex! Sounds amazing - quite jealous now

jam I know what you mean about the having babies before others. There's a hire who I used to be very friendly with, then we fell out she was a bitch and I found out she was pregnant last year on the grapevine and I was honestly absolutely incensed for about 3 days (this was before we'd even got married, never mind discussed ttc!) But I found out later, she'd made the quote thing up!

I was bracing myself for one particular baby bomb because the girl was telling everybody they were intending on ttc direct after their wedding. Even her dm was asking me when we were starting and that was a bit odd, I was like, that's real life TMI!

What's a "pita"?

ever I've been trying really hard to not pay attention to ovia and cycle dates. No opk's this month (apart from the one to test dh's nose) and I've found it much more pleasant. I thought I'd struggle, but it seems on the face of it to have been a bit easier.

Im not being negative about it all as such, but just making the assumption that it won't happen this cycle has chilled me slightly. I'll be gutted when I start getting pms symptoms, but I've been putting less stock in the 'noticing' of things iykwim. So last cycle I had a bubbly tummy, cramps from 5 dpo etc, as soon as something happened, I'd be googling it thinking this was it. This cycle, I've just out the things I've noticed down to my body being my body doing body things! Recognising that everything isn't a symptom and if I keep convincing myself that they are, ill end up going potty!

kat I think you'll kick yourself if you don't do a couple of opk's and at least try to sneak some dtd in while you're away.

tiny that's what Dh is like. He's happy to ttc, but he's also 100% happy if we never have any as long as we've got each other.

canters I think it's natural to have that sneaky feeling. I have the exact same one of the 'what if it's me, what if I'm the whatever % that can't' my mind went wild when nothing happened after cycle 2.

As far as I was concerned I'd Google diagnosed myself as infertile and had been born with no womb, I was probably a man with a vagina, that's it, I'm a transgender person with ladyparts outside and teeny man balls inside. I asked my Dh and he said "we'll, you're hairy, but I've never noticed an Adams apple, so you're probably ok" 😀

feef either a delicious unleaven Arabic bread which is lovely with hummus. Or 'Pain In The Arse' 😊

Lol at your explanation of pita - thanks starky ! Obviously I meant the former here.

hep totally feel your pain re cat walking on boobs! Max likes to do this too. It kills!

starky totally with you on now putting 'pregnancy' symptoms down to my body just being my body. It makes all kinds of sensations and wind and twinges all the time. It's only when you start looking for it it becomes this tantalising signs!

canters totally agreed on that being a normal thing to think. Someone shared this article with me the other day, it sums it up nicely
www.bustle.com/articles/61246-worried-about-infertility-even-though-youre-young-and-have-never-tried-to-conceive-youre-not-the

Defo got a positive OPK this am. Glad I stayed at home to DTD, fingers crossed Hugh is letting Doreen get a look in 🙄

Morning all, ever sounds like you had a cathartic discussion with OH. What, if any, were his feelings?

I now have 2 real life TTC buddies, both in very different stages of life to me, but I still don't feel comfortable discussing what I discuss here with them for some reason.

I am still temping, and will OPK for one more month but I am more or less abandoning Ovibitch. Expecting AF to show up by next week, 100% sure I am out. For me, IVF is not an option, under any circumstances, so if it doesn't happen then it just doesn't happen. I will go in for tests in January next year if it doesn't happen, just to find out why. I am very grateful to my yoga practice for teaching me equanimity

In other news, my little babycat came home today

Starky, I am dying at the idea of you having teensy man balls inside!

Such, that article made me feel loads better. I am the worlds biggest hypochondriac so the logical part of my brain acknowledges that of course I would think I was infertile, because why assume a happy outcome for anything?!

Fx, I too have deleted ovibitch. I think I'm going to try and stop opks too and just get back to enjoying sex with DH- ironically when I was shagging all the time and not thinking about pregnancy on honeymoon is when I conceived, maybe there's a lesson to be learnt here!

Dh did the shopping this week and the twatting man bought houmous but no pitta. Ltb?!

fx yey for your babycat!
you must be relieved.
sucha i'll bookmark that page for later ....

Lol canters I thought ltb meant Landlords and Tenants Board, as in you are going to evict him, which is essentially what you are saying anyway!! I agree, I am sure it is more likely to happen, if it is going to happen, when I have just booked a ridiculously expensive activity holiday - I'll end up going with morning sickness. If it doesn't happen, at least I haven't put my life on hold.

kwick thanks for the recommendation, I downloaded the book first thing this morning and am already impressed. I'm also glad I'd only just started taking the royal jelly, that's definitely one less supplement.... although I've already ordered the other stuff it recommends to replace them. Hope things are progressing well for you just now.

starky you should (or do you already?!) write for a living, between the stories about your DH who would ensure you'd never run out of material and the explanation of pita (I was also confused feefs) you've had me in stitches.

hep love the description of the month, I'm currently in my "SP / don't poas" phase

ever big hugs, sounds like you're really going through it.

fx thank goodness your little cat is home :)

canters hahahah at "that twatting man"! WTF is the point of humous without pitta though - agreed

Yes please to starky writing a blog! Sign me up!