Fabulous forty + ttc and having success!

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Old thread just about finished. Here is a new one... Fx for lots of well earned BFPs for those ttc over forty. We also welcome stories from those who have successfully had their babies over forty and we love hearing back from our graduates.

Gorgeous little boy FatFlotillas, I hope things get easier for you soon.
Reflux in a baby can't be any fun

Here's a question for those of you who are taking / have taken DHEA. Should I be testing early so I can stop if I get a bfp or am I ok to be waiting until AF is due?

Feeling crappy today which is why I think I've found ds's tantrums hard work. I think it's a sign of pms sadly.

Ababsurdum - in the offical usa fertility dhea (fertinatal) it just says stop at positive test but nothing about testing early so my guess is you d be fine till af due. Fingers crossed for a bfp.

Flotillas - what a beautiful little boy and thanks for sharing your 'method' for getting him ! It s seriously tempting ...

Cloud jumper - thank you for your inspiring story and congrats on your new daughter.

Chewy - i did look into coventry but i think i couldn t face having a month off (stupid in the scheme of two years of bfns). Also on the immune thread i ve been on there were ladies who had it after recurrent miscarriage and it was normal, miscarried again so had the bloods which were very high so are now on immune tx. It s so difficult to know as it would seem more logical to test the uterus but i think i still would take the meds if i got preg 'just in case' so prob no point doing it then. I am tempted tho to have another hycosy, had one when trying for ds (it was clear), but just wondered if it might just help flush things even if all normal.

Joey - there were many things in your post they i could have written myself. I m the same with supplements, start out all keen, 10 different ones then get bored and inconsistent taking them. Have tried everything, have tried nothing and still can t get pregnant. I too think something must be wrong with implantation, either that or i have seriously scrambled eggs, perhaps it is this immune stuff but even on immune meds i didn t get preg, so frustrating and mind numbingly boring sometimes !

I think with what you know from your ivf it might be worth getting your immunes looked at again. I think dr shehata and maybe dr gorgy are the only ones who ll give you meds when just trying naturally (most other clinincs do it as part of ivf). I think the reason the zita west clinic have such good ivf rates with the over 40s is they do immunes with ivf and the other one is argc (but that is serious boot camp, scans and bloods everyday at 7am during stims..!).

Anyone interested in more immune info should read the 'is your body baby friendly' by dr beer (considered the founder of repro immunology), alot of it makes sense.

Joey do you have any other poss immune type issues ? (The book says consider testing if you have a thyroid condition, family history of immune dis, rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, endometriosis, more than 3 ivf failures under 35 or more than 2 over 35, miscarriage or infertility following the birth of one or more children, preeclampsia or reduced fetal growth in previous pregnancies).

Another thing to consider for those that have hard miscarriages is baby asprin (75mg), dr shehata put all his patients on it regardless of picking up any clotting issue (plus prentatal, vit d and omega3). Supposed to improve placental blood flow.

Anyway i m day 8, dh left today till fri and got ecwm this eve, well pissed off, partic as didn t manage to dtd this am as ds ended up in bed after waking in the night and we d been bickering yesterday eve so wasn t conducive to rushing a quickie while ds was occupied with cbeebies (. No doubt by fri the egg will be well and truly hard boiled. Argghhh ! Anyone tried home frezzing of sperm.........?!!!!

Hi, ababs, and thank you.

I wanted to say hello to all the new ladies here and wish you masses of luck. I can't advise on immunes but some of you seem so informed about this stuff that it's got to be helpful sticking around this thread; fabulous support from fabulous women.

kkmuppet, I dont know what to say without sounding cliched, but your heartbreak is hard to read. Bless you, I hope you find great happiness at the end of this journey

Now I must go back & read of GreenLizard's news...!

Flotillas your little Mr Michief is adorable!

ababs I didn't test early on the dhea. I probably should have tested, in fact, as I got what I assumed was AF, then went and had a great trip to Vegas, and only tested on my return as I felt like crap. It must have been the fabled implantation bleeding.

Hula I hope you have some hardy swimmers in there from before today.

I heroically got out of bed and seduced DH in the spare room so as not to disturb DS in our bed. I feel like I deserve my bfp!

Ha ha Pies, good work ! Ttc with no.1s who like the family bed definietly requires creativity.

We dtd yesterday afternoon so think they ll have to be olympic ones to have a cat in hells chance !

Hi flotillas and ezra! He is adorable x

hula if you are cd8 today Friday will be cd12, that's still do-able isn't it? ☺ I am pretty sure I ovulated last night - I had my static smiley 3a.m.yesterday, that was my cd17.

Very interesting reading all the medical knowledge that some of you have acquired about fertility, immunity etc. I hope it all comes good.

Waves everyone, hope you're all ok x
My boobs are killing me btw, blimey tender as hell! 1 dpo for me ...the 2 week wait 😑x

Thanks Hula and iatesomeofthepies, I'll continue taking it for now.

I think I'm 11dpo. I oscillate between thinking I'm pregnant and thinking I'm not. I guess I'll know soon enough, AF due Thurs/Fri-ish. What a lovely Mother's Day gift a bfp would be.

Has anyone tested?

Ababs not long to wait now. Are you a tester, or do you wait until af arrives? Fingers crossed for you.
Anyone else getting close to testing/af day?
Thanks for all the advice ladies. I'm definitely going to enquire about getting tubes tested.
CD11 here. We ought to be dtd tonight, but dh and I are both coming down with colds and it's the last thing I feel like doing!! Will see how we feel in a bit, after a Lemsip (how romantic!!).

Joeywife when I was ttc ds there were so many months I tested only for AF to turn up the next day. This time I'm really trying not to test early though I didn't manage it last month. When I fell pg in August I didn't test early because I thought it would be a miracle if I was (being as it was the first month of trying). By the time AF was late I just knew I was pregnant. I'll see what the next couple of days bring.

DTD tonight if you can before colds get worse and you really don't fancy it!

Hello. It's so inspiring hearing everyone's successes on here. But also sad to hear of some people's losses. And I agree with Beegee- this is a great place for so much knowledge. Thanks for letting me join.

The supplements sound interesting too - can you puy maca with other food or do people just swallow a tablet?

Ababs - good luck holding out with the testing. Got everything crossed for you. How are you feeling?

Joeywife - good luck defeating the colds to get to bfp success. Are you feeling better?

Beegee - good luck with the tww. Hope you get your bfp!

Here I am cd5 but the good news is that OH has been to GP to sort his tests. Phew.

rugby thanks, at this stage I feel a little calmer than I did last month, I don't know if that will last ?!
ababs you are so good waiting, I would love you to get your bfp this month!
joey there have been loads of illnesses on here over the last few weeks, I have coughed and spluttered through dtd (nice), I hope you managed it.
Well done pies you trooper x

Hello lovely ladies, I am Lilymog. 43, very nearly 44 and been preggars twice both ending in mmc. My story is long and a bit emotional, so I will go into that later, however, I am really interested in DHEA. already taking vit D 10mu, co-Q10 300mg, omega 3, folic acid, zinc and baby asprin to help the vessels dilate! But seen a lot of you talking about DHEA and just wondered where did you get it from? Any sites, shops would be helpful. Good luck everyone xx

Rugby great news that your OH has been to the docs. Fingers crossed all comes back well.

Beegee glad you're feeling a bit calmer this month.

Welcome Lilymog. I'm very sorry about your two mmc's, it must be hard. DHEA is a hormone and more controversial than other supplements. If you haven't already then you should read up on it before you buy. Some of us have bought ours here others have used eBay.

I'm about 12dpo here. Any symptoms could go either way so really not sure yet. Still I haven't had any spotting yet which is good as I've had it several days before AF is due since my mc. Hopefully if it's not a sign I'm pg it's a sign things are getting back to normal.

Welcome Lilymog. I don't know much about DHEA I'm afraid. Sounds interesting though.

I'm wondering how many of you drink coffee/tea while ttc? I am looking for a good herbal alternative and heard fennel was good but then later read it can shorten the luteal phase! (I was drinking a lot of it so i stopped). At the moment I drink decaf tea but heard that has caffeine in too. Does any of it matter?! People seem to get pg when they drink alcohol and caffeine etc and I hate depriving myself all the time and getting bfns!!!
So just wondered what other people on here do?

Ababs- Thanks. Yes I am keeping everything crossed for OH's tests. Mine all fine apparently so we'll see. How are you doing in your tww? Really hoping for you.

Beegee- hope the calm is continuing.

Rugby I have got used to mostly having decaf - ttc, pg then bf. I buy decaf for home and have regular sometimes when I'm out or round someone's house who doesn't have decaf. I don't drink very much alcohol for the same reason plus I find alcohol and looking after a toddler aren't a great combination. I have the odd one.

I think AF is on her way here, I definitely have pms

Absurdum - sorry to hear you have pms, hoping af stays away for you.

Rugby - welldone on mr rugby getting his test done, fingers crossed he has super swimmers ! Re tea have you tried redbush (rooisbos) tea ? I mainly drink this (regardless of ttc/preganncy as i don t get on with caffeine). Teapigs do a really nice one with tiny caramel pieces (called rooisbus creme caramel) or theres an organic dragonfly rooibos chai tea that is also nice.

Lilymog - so sorry to hear of your losses. There s good info on the centre for human reproduction website (an ivf centre in usa who endorse using dhea). I would really like to use it as i have crap amh and there s lots of positive stories out there but i tried only 25mg for a couple of weeks and had an 18 day cycle ! Might have been coincidence (i had this happen twice before once several years ago when doing extreme exercise during af and last year after trying steriods from ov for immune issues) but it put me off trying again, at least for now. Some recommend checking you dhea levels first and i dont think its recommended if you have pcos.

Thanks Hula - yes let's hope for those swimmers. How are you doing at the moment? Thanks for the recommendation of tea- I will look for them. Good to know the occasional cup of caffeine is ok anyway.

Ababs - oh grrr. Sending you good vibes whichever way it goes. Hang in there.

ababs 😠 I really hope she stays away for you x
Fx rugby for your OH. I am on caffeine free coke, as that is my caffeine thing as I have never drank tea and coffee. But yogi tea do a nice tea called chocolate and char brew do a nice chocolate orange tea ( bit of a theme) these are really relaxing at night. I started off thinking ttc - that's it no alcohol or caffeine from now on. However I have had a few drinks this month - nothing now in ttw. Like ababs said I have had two boys and between being pg and bf didn't have a drop for close to 6 years during those periods. Just hard when you don't know how long all this will take.
Welcome lilymog sorry for you hard times, wishing you happiness and success, this is a lovely thread. X

Flotillas - I've just been busted by DD (aged 2.6) on Mumnsnet. "Ooh look at the baby" she says. "I want one of those" . Yes me too!

But it is a lovely photo - he's gorgeous! And that pout! When he's breaking hearts as a teenager no doubt he'll have you wishing for the reflux days back again! Any idea what's causing the reflux? Hope it might settle soon.

Cloudjumper - You were always one of my thread heroes, great to hear from you again too! So encouraging that you had your beautiful DD after four (four!) miscarriages, OMG how awful. Thank goodness you kept going.

Hula - I just got myself into such a total freakin' panic about immune issues, I actually emailed my IVF consultant with my scanned papers from Prof Quenby/Brosens and Dr S. I'd already showed them the biopsy result from Quenby, but NOT the blood test results from Dr S - I guess I really should've done, but my omission was probably because I'd been persuaded (lets face it, it suited me to have been persuaded, because I didn't really want to take the Prednisolone) that the assay of uterine NK cells is more specific/relevant to the issue.

I received an amazingly comprehensive response, that considered the biopsy, blood tests and all of my previous birth/MC history. My peripheral blood NK number had been elevated, but her comment here was that it was "a figure that we usually ignore as being irrelevant". She's then gone through the other tests (cytokine results, TNF alpha, NK in vitro cytotoxicity assay, CD69 NK assay etc) and said they were fine, so she wouldn't recommend any immune TX.

I'm so bloody relieved. I'm very glad indeed I asked the question though, so thank you for making me think about it again. I think this whole area seems to be one of madly competing theories, yet no one seems to have the definitive answer. I do find it odd to be left feeling that you just have to pick who to believe, yet (in my case) with no personal clinical/scientific background to support that judgement ...

Hi Lilymog - Personal view is that DHEA is worth a try. The only contraindications that I'm personally aware of are PCOS, endometriosis and estrogen-sensitive cancers (but in the latter case, I'd suspect TTC wouldn't be anyone's primary concern!).

I've tried the McPherson's DHEA that Ababs already linked earlier: McPherson's DHEA - although looking at this link now, goodness knows what the 'reduced operating schedule' refers to. I've also seen posts with the Eurovital/Biovea brand of DHEA being recommended - e.g. Eurovital DHEA-25mg.

Anyway, latest from me is that DD has chickenpox - aargh! I'm firmly NOT in the camp that it's better for kids to get it as soon as possible to get it over with.

Plus I spent an age last night online, trying to reassure myself that if I've had chickenpox myself already, this is OK, even if I were pregnant. (Someone please tell me I'm not losing the plot here!) My DM was convinced I'd never had chickenpox, or I might've had "one spot", she couldn't really remember ... so my GP screened for Varicella antibodies when I was pregnant before and that came back positive.

Waves to everyone x

Interesting chat on whether to give up caffeine. I love tea and really struggle to drink much else during the day, so I was feeling reasonably virtuous even for switching to PG Tips/Yorkshire decaf. I'm conscious these still have a little caffeine in and maybe it would be best to give up altogether, but as the total would be way less than what the NHS say is OK for pregnancy - NHS caffeine link - I've given myself a break here - can't do everything.

When I was pregnant with DD I drank mail order decaf tea from Taylor's of Harrogate as it was one of the few I found was decaffeinated with steam (as opposed to chemicals). Bit over-fussy that, probably. Like the others, it still has some caffeine in too. DD appears to be fine, bit hyper-active/bonkers but fine.

Chewy I don't think I've had chicken pox either. My DM believes I was immunised against it and a quick google showed that they did used to vaccinate against it. It's possible you were immunised too?

I can't keep up with all your posts! I havent read for a few days - must check in more often lol.
hula I know I had a blood test after my third miscarriage that I think was supposed to check for autoimmune issues but can't be absolutely sure. I know that wasn't an issue with Ruby Rose (my stillborn) - she died due to ICP.
pies thanks for asking how the 2ww was going but it ended yesterday :-( on to a new cycle and consultant has prescribed clomid as my progesterone was on the low side 'weak ovulation' he said. Anyone else tried this? I'm not sure whether to take it as I've read some stuff online that it's not a good idea for our age group.

Sorry for the AF KK (and possibly Ababs, but you're not out yet!) I hope your body was just waiting for the corker of an egg that you're going to release this cycle.

Lily I think I got my dhea from Biovea, but can't be sure. I think it's possible that they said what brand they used in their clinical trials on the Center for Human Reproduction's website, and I ordered that one? It's been a while.

Calmness is good, beegee. Long may it continue.

I'm glad that your consultant took the time to reassure you so thoroughly, Chewy. A little kindness goes a long way, doesn't it?

You guys are all so virtuous on the caffeine! Rugby I got pregnant at 41 while drinking loads of caffeine and wine. I cut back when I was pregnant to the nhs limits, i.e. two quite milky coffees in the morning, and then switched my tea out for decaf, even though it still has a little caffeine, or mint. When I was pregnant I had a hard time sleeping (oh, the irony!) so only a little caffeine after noon seemed more sensible anyway. It didn't help. I still drink a glass of wine, sometimes two, of a weekend. Sometimes I have a beer, but I grew fond of the no alcohol erdinger while pregnant and in early breastfeeding days, so I frequently have that instead.

I forgot to say that we haven't managed any further dtd, as DS has been ill (nothing sexier than changing all the bed linen) so hopefully the swimmers from the other night are Olympic, too! Very sympathetic to the not feeling like it while you have a cold, Joey.

Your DP is back soon, right Hula?

Well I caved and bought some tests at Tesco this morning. Bfn. They were not early testing ones and I had peed an hour before but, still, I think there would have been something there if I was pg and there was nothing. AF should be due today or tomorrow so I will test tomorrow morning if there's nothing by then.

Sorry you're out Kkmuppet. I can't advise on clomid I'm afraid as I know very little about it. The consultant should be aware of any age related risks?

Sorry you're dtd has been hampered by illness pies, hopefully your ds is better soon.