Thread for the down at heart and lacking in optimism

[duchesse]

I probably shouldn't do this, but...lovely though the ladies on my current ttc threads are, there are times when I feel I need a break from the upbeat atmosphere.

My story- 38, going on 39, three children easily conceived in my 20s, ttc number 4 for 3 years before finally achieving a pregnancy that ended in foetal death at 12 weeks and miscarriage at 13 weeks (Oct 2006).

Frequent lapses of hope. I simply can no longer believe that it will all be OK, that this month will be the one.

Now contemplating stopping trying.

Juicylucytoo... you bad bad person for bring positivity to the HUT....

Tee hee!! It's normally me that brings in the positive vibes
I am feeling upbeat again today ... someone slap me!! Not sure how long it will last mind you! CD11 so still a long way to go.

Oh... and before I forget... NO MORE EARLY TESTING. It's just asking for trouble

Hello hut dwellers, how are you all this evening? Sorry I had to rush off the other day without finishing my post, work got in the way

I can see why it is all so frustrating for you Greedy, 11 days is a very long time to keep at it especially then to OV after that.

Hello JL I still smile when I think about you with a bump, I can?t help it! You deserved yours so very much. How is your sister hon? Do you hear from Andi on the AN boards, if so, send her hellos from me. Thanks for your advice, I?ll keep a note of it for my appointment and for the vibes

Impatience ? it must be a relief to finally know what is going on. Glad to hear you are feeling better.

Rahrah & Greedy ? with all that talk of testing, it would appear that hope lives on in the hut!

Im sensing significant amounts of optimism in the hut these days and too many smilies..... clearly everyone is off the usual drink and spliffs and going au naturale..
I only popped in to say that I had the dreaded meeting with the ivf clinic - DH and I are still debating what the meeting was all about took 2 hours and could have been 20mins - clearly they were happy to part a fool from their money - got the usual story about low stats for someone my age and whether we should consider donor eggs (i will start a new thread on this cos got soooooo many questions). But happy to start when we want to. DH consulted diary - he's in the states just as I need him to do his bit - typical - so looks like it could be March...... so may be we may get lucky between now and then with some extra BD although DH said he doesnt want to BD anymore cos had to give a sample today and he was thoroughly stress out about it ... oh no,,,, can sense some optimism creeping in - so better escape for a while to calm down - see you folks later...

Hi LL, don't worry Im a bit older than you - Im 44 and TTC for the last 8 yrs....hence the reason why he was saying what he did...

Morning all,

MrsMcJnr - I can assure you that all the talk about testing is purely delusional from my end.. I just can't help myself... it's like a punishment to see a BFN.. So I'm afraid no optimism here...just self pity and misery..

LatenightOwl - so have you decided to go down the IVF route?

Take care - as there is a big bad storm out there today...

I haven't not used up a few tests pointlessly early this month, no, no, no. ahem

I'm glad I'm not the only one... Thanks duchesse, can rely on u to cheer me up.

We were ovulating late at about the same time CD20... so I reckon Af should be around 23/24th of this month.

oh dear oh dear oh dear! early testing! TUT!

i THINK i am going to get my DH to hide my thermometer and pg tests next month! good idea or not girls!?

You'll never cope!!

I think it is addictive. I have not even started charting yet, but still take my temp every morning.. it is steady at the moment at 36.7....shows I have ovulated... does it change back when you are due AF or does it change when you actually get AF?

mine tends to wait until af arrives before plummeting back down. mine is 36.7 today too by the way! can we be temperature buddies? or is this the wrong thread for that!?

Hello hut dwellers!

Mine is 37.7, so does that count as a temp buddy?!

Not really lacking optimism today, but just wanted to say to MrsMc, that there is a thread from Andi over on bereavement - nothing wrong with her or her 20 week old bump (having a scan today, I think).
can't do a link, I'm afraid, someone will have to show me how.

back soon, when lacking some optimism!
x

Coolies... we can be temp buddies.. defo think this is the wrong thread...we might be kicked to the curb if we do that on here!

Do you want to start a new thread for it?

I meant to say that there is nothing physically wrong with Andi, but she could do with some support, poor girl. I so hope her scan goes well.

Yeah - Rahrah - start a temp-buddy thread!

Except, Rahrah, that my next period seems to have started already. That means another short cyle- 27 days this time, with a mere 7 days luteal phase. Not likely to get pregnant like that...

Bloody hell... do you normally suffer from a short luteal phase? When did your AF start?

how crap for you duchese....have a good old rant on here.
i feel like af is nearly here for me too and i am only 7dpo, which would be very unusual for me, i normally have at least a 12 day lp.

let me know what your temp is tomorrow rahrah..........!!!

No- these crap cycles are all new since the miscarriage. The first one after the ERPC was OK, but these last two have been weird. Also, according to my OPKs I am no longer ovulating at my LH surge, but a up to a week after, which is pretty crap really, and completely incomprehensible. Am having blood tests though for all sorts of things- anaemia, kidney and liver function, thyroid function etc... Ths is just one more to add to the pot.

Least you are having tests, my cycle is acting up a bit. Perhaps it takes some women a while to settle down.

My temp today is 36.6, so dropped slightly and getting a few period twinges. So expecting AF in next couple of days.

What about yours - Temp buddies??? I thought we were starting a new thread for that, so we didn't get kicked from the hut? We could have happy alter-ego's...

Hi all,
I'm feeling a little bit brighter today (although I know I shouldn't.. because I am in the hut of doom ) but my Beta HCG is finally creeeping towards zero which means I can hopefully put the whole ectopic experience behind me (for now that is ). I am still feeling really glooming about the fact that I have 10wks before we can TTC again tho - so I think I still warrant an upstanding place in the miserable camp with you all..... . I must be feeling better as I am now back to self diagnosis myself with either PCOS or endometriosis. I was convinced I suffered with PCOS as I had all the symptoms but an ultra sound scan showed that everything was normal. I'm also convinced I have endo as I have period pains from hell and ovulation pains which last 4days!! Oh what a nightmare....

Impatience - how are you? Are you working out next month days?
Fettle - how are you coping?
MrMcJr - have you figured out your speech for the GP next month yet?
Helloooo to everyone else

Hi PinkElephant, glad your levels are getting back to normal.

I know what you mean about self diagnosis... I phoned my consultant the other day about having a hormonal imbalance, but today after reading Pro.Regan's booked some more last night I think I still have a blood clotting issue.

I am going to see a fertility consultant on Tuesday... drum roll of what they will come up with....

Hi PE. Am pleased to hear that things are starting to return to normal for you. Any chance you can just stop thinking about T/FTC for the next couple of months, seeing as you can't do anything about it anyway? Would probably do you good, IF you could manage it.

Do you know, that last month of absolute weirdness seems to have exhausted my body-obsessiveness: I have not worked out when I expect to ovulate, and am doing nothing proactive except cutting down on alcohol (because I was starting to drink far too much, so that's really just common sense rather than a fertility exercise). Whenever I see some ewcm I'll text my donor, and we'll just keep doing the trip until it stops. I feel last month showed me that no matter how much I know about conception and my body I ultimately have very little control about it, so all I can do is put sperm in me when I have cm! I also think that after the 4 & a half ww of last month, the 2ww should be a doddle!

Don't kick me out: I'm sure this is not positivity but rather learned helplessness! Am starting to suspect that I'll never conceive, and am really just trying now on the off-chance... And I'm sure this rather blase state will leave me as soon as I ov...

Impatience - I completely agree with your helpless state and of course that warrants being on here Glad to here your donor is at the other end of a text at least. I am unable to drink alcohol at the moment and am going to just try and carry on like this - the less you have it the less you actually want it Believe it or not and this comes from a person who absolutely loves large glasses of wine....and often. I can't believe the fact that December was the only month I had completely given up TTC and was drinking whenever I fancied and WHAM that was the month I got pregnant...its so typical. No I'm cool about the fact I can't try till April, I'm sure it will come around quick....and you will be long gone....

Rahrah - loads of luck for your appoint. Have you been having lots of tests for fertility reasons or are these test related to your loss of Bertie?