TTC after miscarriage - new thread

[InsufficientlyCaffeinated]

I just spotted that the old thread was now closed to new messages so thought I'd start another. The old thread for reference: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2457787-TTC-1-after-miscarriage-looking-for-some-buddies

Thanks so much Mel. It is already a great comfort to read everyone's messages. x

I was so glad to see a negative test. I think I do need to get back in the saddle. We've done other stuff but just not that. I'm terrified of getting pregnant again, despite wanting a baby badly.

It's almost bitter sweet isn't it. Sometimes I dread and worry how I will manage and other times I just desperately want to crack on with trying and getting a BFP. It's all very strange. Hormones are prob still a little haywire too. Just go with what you feel. Allow yourself to just 'be'.

Silly question but if I'm going to wait for a period before TTC again, I don't really need to bother doing a test do I? I've had a scan which confirmed that everything was looking healthy af clear

From what I know Mel, there is no reason to do a test...

I have wondered about whether we should wait to have a period before TTC - it would make me feel more reassured that everything was back to normal down there - but I feel so impatient that I want to try to catch the egg immediately after the MC.

I am 35 and have a low AMF so I just want to crack on! But I do worry about getting pregnant again...

Anyway, all I figure is that as long as I keep positive, sleep well, eat well, avoid booze and coffee, then nature will do the rest.... I hope!

x

I don't think you will need to test if your US was clear. Mine however wasn't, the sonographer could see something but didn't know what it was because it was small. I had been bleeding for 5 days before I found that I was pregnant and miscarrying and 10 days bleeding when I had the scan so I'm down as a PUL at the min. Had blood drawn on Friday and again tomorrow at the GAU result Monday. My tests are fainter than they were on Thursday but by far still completely visible. So I'm self diagnosing my HCG drop at the minute purely because of the risk it could have been ectopic.
I'm so worried when that if I get a BFP again that this will happen all over like everyone else here. I think I'll be testing late rather than early and just using OPK's to track ovulation xx

I think I'll go nuts if I don't wait for a period as I'll get all flustered about the dates etc and not knowing whether it's a true positive or not. I'll keep testing frantically.

As mentioned we dtd the first time today since mc 2.5 weeks ago and the most difficult bit was telling DH to use a condom, he was totally puzzled and had to explain.

What's AMF sorry??

Sorry that was a typo! I meant AMH.

I totally understand you waiting Mel. I probably won't have a choice as it will be impossible to know when I am ovulating. I have posted that I think I have symptoms just 6 days after sex, but from reading everyone's kind responses I think my body is either gearing up for a period or just irritable. I waited in my 1st MC and it certainly gave me clarity of mind and I felt in control again...

xx

Sorry I am not sure my last message made much sense! Very tired. Hope you get the gist - i.e. we have decided this time to try before my first period but we did wait after my first MC...

I suppose there is no right way; just the way that feels right at the time.

x

Yes defo. It's whatever feels right for you! If you don't have regular periods the midwife at Hosp said to not bother waiting. She just said wait a period if you have regular periods so the dates will be easier. What's AMH sorry??? Lol.

It stands for Anti-Mullerian Hormone. From what I understand, it's basically an indicator of egg quantity and quality. For my age (35), my level is low - 2.5, which means I don't have many eggs left and those eggs that remain aren't the best quality.

I have spoken to a consultant and he said we should try again and hope the first two MC were just bad luck and that the 3rd egg is a healthy one.

I find it all SO confusing tbh - different doctors have told us different things; I have read do much conflicting stuff on the internet. I don't know what to believe anymore!

x

Ah ok, it just takes one good egg for it to happen so I would definitely keep trying as you are. You have a good positive attitude which is really important

Bless you thanks Mel. Let's hope we'll get the result we want very very soon! xx

Hi ladies, can I join you?

I miscarried with my first pregnancy last week and am still unsure if I have passed everything, but will find out when I do a pregnancy test in a week or so.

I knew very early on things weren't right as an early scan put my dates back to an unfeasible date...still had to wait for a second scan, then a third because they thought they could see a heartbeat at the second. It's been a horrible waiting game, and I've been bleeding to varying degrees for around 2 months now. I went in for a ERPC but started heavy bleeding and cramping that day so it was cancelled. I'm still bleeding now but much lighter. I feel mentally like I have come through this, but am physically sick to the back teeth of bleeding. I want my vagina back!

Once things are settled, we will be trying again.

I'm so so sorry Miss Clarke. That sounds so awful. It does sound like you are coming to the end of the nightmare though and you will soon be back to normal and ready to start trying again. It is the worst experience though so you have my thoughts. It does get better, every day, the pain eases a little bit. If you had told me that after my first MC, I wouldn't have believed you, but sitting here, 3 weeks after my second, I know it is true...

You will have a successful pregnancy soon. We all will I hope!

x

Hi miss Clarke, I remember you from July thread. There's so many of us miscarried from the July thread it's opened my eyes to how common it is. Hope it's all over soon for you and the medics have made it as easy as possible for you

Just following on from Loki's question about joining the thread if you already have a child I'm wondering if it might be worth asking MNHQ to edit the name of the thread. The first thread started out as one person asking for buddies when she was TTC no.1 after a MC but it's grown in to a general support thread for all women TTC after MC since then. I didn't really think about it when starting this thread, just copied the name of the original but just so other women TTC after MC know they're welcome here, it might be worth getting a name change. What do you all think?

And welcome Loki and MissClarke, another former July antenatal thread member here. I'm sorry you have to find yourselves here but we're a friendly and supportive bunch all trying to find our way through this bewildering time of recovering from loss while continuing TTC so I hope we can be of help

Thanks all DH and I have talked. I finish my antibiotics tomorrow and then need to do a thrush treatment (sorry tmi) because of the antibiotics. So we will be 'not trying, not preventing' from next weekend. If it happens then it happens. I'm not going to chart or anything. My mc made me realise how out of my hands everything is so I'm just going to let go and avoid trying to control everything.

Sorry to see you joining us Kate, Loki, Amy and Miss Clarke, but you're all very welcome. The thread is richer for having more people's perspectives on it I think, as while we're all experiencing a common fate, we all have our own individual thoughts and feelings too and reading the thread always comforts me when I can think "Ah so it's not just me!".

Just had the weird experience of having assumed my period had ended yesterday,spotting starting up again just now. My periods seem a bit weird since my miscarriage (well, the whole two I've had, admittedly not much to compare), just wondering if other people's periods have taken time to settle down? They have appeared almost to the day that Ovia would predict, so that's normal, but the first one started with 3 days spotting, then I had 3 days bleeding (and it was also bright pink), this one has at least been the right colour but only produced one day of normal bleeding with the rest light bleeding/ spotting, and now this random 24 hour break in bleeding.

Insufficiently I agree with changing the title to be more open to people joining, there aren't any other active threads in conception about trying again after MC and it seems positive to me to include people.

Hi. Can I join? I've been sort of watching the thread but it initially said ttc #1 so I didn't post. I've got 2DC and had a MMC in December. This is our first cycle since (had retained products so needed medical management when I was ov last month so couldn't try then).

Currently 9dpo with no symptoms other than being utterly miserable and fed up and snappy!

Thanks to MNHQ for changing the thread title so quickly.

Welcome JoMalones. I think I might have OV'ed in last day or 2 with retained tissue, it's a frustrating limbo isn't it!

I have two months worth of opks but I'm ignoring them. I can't obsess this time it's just too all consuming. In the last week I've stopped spotting and had a completely negative test. The antibiotics really seem to have sorted me out even though they've given me thrush. I'm feeling more myself too. I think that's enough for now, it's progress at least!

I'm 19 days post medically managed miscarriage. I think I might be ovulating as I've got slight pain on my right. Also feeling very much in the mood tmi! I'm pretty sure I've stopped bleeding now. Still not tested. Not sure I'm going to bother. I keep changing my mind like the wind though. Motherinlaw still critical in hospital so things are all a bit hectic. Really feel for poor DH.

Mel do you not think it's worth testing just so that you can be sure that a bfp next time isnt left over hormones? sorry to hear about your mil.

Hello folks, I found out I was pregnant on 22 Dec, started spotting on 2 Jan. Long story short, I had a D&C last Wednesday. Just a small amount of bleeding after and cramps but it's all stopped now. I'm 41 with 2 daughters but my partner has no children of his own, so I am willing to give this one more shot. Ive already had a missed miscarriage with him 2 years ago and accept it could just be our age. I also had a late miscarriage in between my 2 daughters in 2002 so I know a healthy pregnancy is possible after miscarriage. I think I am ready to start trying as soon as possible. It's been a long few weeks x