TTC #1 after miscarriage - looking for some buddies

(1001 Posts)
Clareinthemiddle Sat 29-Aug-15 13:29:01

I have been ttc for 10 months. I'm 34.
Took it very easy the first few months and then went for it with OPKs, no caffeine, reduced alcohol and got my BFP in May, but sadly mmc at 12 weeks (a few days before my scan). The little thing had not made it past 5.5 weeks sad
Took July off to recover and then back on it again in August. Heard/read a lot about increased fertility the few months after a miscarriage so was really convinced August would be my month, but af arrived yesterday. Absolutely devastated.
Can feel a very lonely place, especially as I either have friends who conceived within 1-3 months, or those who always knew they would have issues so started with IVF a few years back and have thankfully all been successful. I guess I just thought I would have an easy ride, as my sisters did, but no such luck.
Thought it would be nice to share the journey with others dealing with similar situations or with success stories after a miscarriage. Please say hello smile

sundayraspberry Sat 29-Aug-15 15:23:56

Hi Clare. Felt the need to reply to your post as your story is v similar to mine. Been trying to conceive #1 since coming off the pill last oct. Delighted to get bfp in may but dating scan revealed mmc at 5 weeks. I've been 'lucky' in the sense that my miscarriage has been simple; ERPC followed by minimal bleeding/cramping but due to PCOS my body hasn't yet got into a cycle of any sort and am getting fed up.

I have a pg friend who conceived #2 on first month of trying and will be due a few weeks before our baby would have been. Also have another friend who has just started trying for #1 so now feel I have competition! Neither of them know of our mc so am dreading pregnancy announcement from her. Just keeping fx for another bfp before my original due date. Do you friends and sisters know you are ttc and mc?

Clareinthemiddle Sat 29-Aug-15 16:37:13

Wow! Our stories are so similar! Glad your miscarriage was at least simple when you were going through all that heart ache. Mine was a bit more complicated as I was taken into ER when the contractions caused my blood pressure to drop. I was on a drip for a few hours in excruciating pain until I passed the sac. I don't know how you felt at the time, but for me there was a huge lack of information or support. I had no idea what to expect when it happened and all they told me afterwards was that they would take me off their records now I was no longer pregnant. The hospital also told me there was no need for further scans, but I went for one anyway which showed I had tissue left so was put on antibiotics and had to have further scans until I was clear.
Thankfully I'm now back in a normal cycle, so must be so hard for you with the PCOS sad
My sisters knew I was trying. Their a fair bit older than me so don't feel any competition with them, but with my friends I find it terribly hard. I only have a handful left who don't have children and a couple of friends who are due with #2 in Nov. Another friend had a terrible 2 years of trying, had IVF and just gave birth last week, and another who has just had round 2 of IVF and is now pregnant. 2 of my closet friends conceived within 3 months of trying and gave birth within a few months of each other. I suddenly feel so surrounded by it and out of the 'club' if you know what I mean?
Not everyone knew I was ttc before but most know about the miscarriage so guess they'll presume I'm trying again.
I take comfort in how common miscarriage is. 1 in 4 I think, but as well as the worry of even getting that bfp, is the added worry of keeping it.
Does your family know? Are you having help for your PCOS?
Thinking of you.

wandy124 Sat 29-Aug-15 18:13:04

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TheFandango Sat 29-Aug-15 19:44:32

I had a Mmc at 11+5, stopped growing at 8 weeks, and it was twins! Fell pregnant with that pregnancy the 1st month TTC. Mmc was in March, and 5 cycles later still no BFP sad not sure why it isn't happening again, starting to loose heart a bit. Good luck ladies, hope we all have some luck soon!!

sundayraspberry Sat 29-Aug-15 21:19:01

I can imaging how distressing it would have been for you to go through the worst part of mc in the middle of an A&E dept, Clareinthemiddle. Is it difficult dealing with your feelings about the mc with friends who have been through IVF? I know how you feel about being 'out of the club', this is my worry if my other friend becomes pg first. And I feel very selfish in thinking that. My sister and mum know and colleagues have been v supportive. I have a v good nurse practitioner at my GP surgery regarding PCOS but for the moment am just trying to eat a good diet. Should prob do more exercise but who has time!

Am sorry for your losses Fandango, twins must have been a shock. Think MMC is such a cruel loss as without symptoms you are totally unprepared for the bad news.

Clareinthemiddle Mon 31-Aug-15 09:40:03

Yes really sorry for your loss Fandango and now 5 months on it must be really hard.
I keep being told that at least I now know I can pregnant, which I guess is true, so I keep trying to get keep that in my head.
I'm starting acupuncture tomorrow so hopefully that will help things. I've read lots of success stories, so fingers crossed!

FeatheredTail Mon 31-Aug-15 10:36:05

So sorry for all your losses.

I also conceived in May (cycle 1 of trying) then miscarried around 8 weeks. It had also stopped growing at 5 weeks. I had an early scan (I was excited about seeing a heartbeat) that showed a tiny sac and no HB. It took about a week after that for the mc to start and I bled for nearly a month.

I started trying again at the end of July after getting positives on my OPKs....I was so happy I was fertile again! Then realised I was still testing positive for the pregnancy hormone (picked up by the opk). Devastated.

Just had my fertile window last week and dtd at all the right times. Now it's just the waiting game until I can test.

It's so very disheartening - I know that even of I get a BFP next week, I'll feel too anxious to get too happy.

TheFandango Mon 31-Aug-15 11:34:35

I'm not using Opk's, or charting bbt this month, it's too much to do everything right each month, and then AF arrives each time. I don't bother early testing either, mainly because an early BFP would highly likely give false hope ��

sundayraspberry Mon 31-Aug-15 15:08:15

Fingers crossed for BFP next week FeatheredTail, hope you can keep distracted if you are prone to symptom spotting! Think we'll all feel anxious next time round.

Have tried OPKs for the first time this month but didn't get on well with using them. Not sure if I started testing too early/late but have heard they don't work properly for PCOS anyway so not sure I can be bothered either. Also confused OH as he saw them in the bin and thought I'd gone mad doing preg test every day!

I was expecting AF this weekend, not arrived, POAS just in case but BFN so think its just rubbish PCOS irregular cycle again.

Clareinthemiddle Mon 31-Aug-15 18:54:05

Huge fingers crossed for BFP FeatheredTail. Please keep us posted.
And you never know Sundayraspberry. It could be this month. Sending lots of positive luck your way.
The OPKs work for me. I use two different brands to make sure I'm definitely ovulating. It's the temp charting I find a nightmare. It's hard to test every morning at the same time, esp on wknds!?
Has anyone heard of taking pineapple core to boost fertility during 2 ww? I'm tempted to give it a go, but wonder if it's just an old wives tale!?!

sundayraspberry Wed 02-Sep-15 13:24:46

I work shifts so didn't bother with temps. Do you mean fresh pineapple core or some sort of supplement? Am sceptical of anything that sounds a bit old wives tale, I love pineapple tho!

Amyyyy8 Wed 02-Sep-15 16:42:33

So sorry for all of your losses smile

Thought I'd share my story too. Im 27 and came off the pill early Feb. Conceived literally straight away but sadly had a miscarriage at nearly 9 weeks sad. It started as light bleeding but within hours it got mega heavy. I was taken into A&E as emergency where they confirmed the baby had no heartbeat. And i was kept in overnight. It was the such a horrible and painful experience sad. Due to heavy bleeding and continuous infections (water) i was off work for 2 months.

Me and my hubby have been trying again since then but had no luck so far. Im currently 12 dpo but now, i try not to get my hopes up because it causes so much disappointment. I tested yesterday at 11 dpo and got a bfn so now im going to wait until the weekend. AF is due friday so im going to see what happens angry

I use the clearblue opk's which are pretty good i think. And have started charting my temp. My diet is super healthy and i steer clear of caffeine and junk foods..... Cant resist the odd treat though grin. I also take pregnacare supplements. Have been taken them since feb. But still hoping and trying smile

I hope all of u get ur bfps soon x

TheFandango Wed 02-Sep-15 18:19:19

I've had a bad day today - it's now around my original due date, so sad I'm not pregnant yet. I'm still taking various supplements, but prob should cut down on drinking alcohol. I don't ever drink much, but think it would be best to have none! I have also completely stopped taking anti-inflammatory drugs, as apparently they can mess with ovulation a bit with prolonged use.

sundayraspberry Wed 02-Sep-15 19:51:46

Couldn't read and run without sending you my support, Thefandango. Don't feel bad about feeling sad, be as self indulgent as you like if it helps. Am dreading my due date as its around Xmas. I'm not intending to give up all alcohol until I get bfp, in fact am thoroughly enjoying a g&t at the mo and I encourage you to join me!

TheFandango Wed 02-Sep-15 20:03:01

Thank you, enjoy that G&T, I'll be sure to enjoy a tipple at the weekend!

Clareinthemiddle Wed 02-Sep-15 21:59:54

Hi Amyyyy8, sorry for your loss and that you had such an awful time in hospital. Good luck for getting your bfp this month.
Yes Sundayraspberry, it's fresh pineapple core. Apparently it's good to take it from ovulation for a few days. I love pineapple too so will give it a go!
I spoke to my acupuncturist last night about drinking alcohol. She said that although most guidelines for ttc will say not to drink at all, she thinks it's best to do what's best for you, ie if a glass of wine or 2 helps you to relax then that's important too. I drank in moderation the month I conceived. How about you guys?
The acupuncture was weird but relaxing. She said it was great that I had conceived before so we have all have to remember that ladies!!

FeatheredTail Sun 06-Sep-15 19:13:59

Hi ladies, just wanted to pop my head back in to say hi and to let you know I got my BFP at 10 DPO, on Saturday - 11.5 weeks after my miscarriage started in June.

Feeling anxious but trying to be positive that it won't end as it did last time.

Fingers crossed we all get our babies.

Clareinthemiddle Mon 07-Sep-15 23:19:59

Yay!!! Huge congratulations FeatheredTail!! I'm sure everything will be fine this time.
You've given me hope that my time will come soon.

sundayraspberry Wed 09-Sep-15 08:55:46

Congratulations and wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy. Nothing new to report from me I'm afraid, still waiting for af, how's everyone else?

Clareinthemiddle Wed 09-Sep-15 10:36:59

Still waiting Sunday? How late are you, have you tested again?
I'm on CD 13 so should be ovulating any day hopefully. Done the BD twice so far so will get a couple more in and fingers crossed smile

OTheHugeManatee Wed 09-Sep-15 11:31:59

Hi clare, can I join your thread? My story is very like yours - I'm 36, TTC number 1, had a mmc in June at 9wks though the foetus looked like it had stopped developing a couple of weeks earlier sad

It's been hard. This is cycle number 2 for me since AF came back, and I'm in the 2ww at the moment. Trying not to obsess but it's hard not to think about it all the time!

FX for everyone on the thread smile

TheFandango Wed 09-Sep-15 17:36:57

FeatheredTail congratulations! My AF has arrived on day 20 of cycle ??, have had spotting for 4 days beforehand, and some terrible headaches in the past week. I'm confused as all other cycles since MC in March have been 26-27 days and as regular as clockwork! Have made an appointment at the Gp for a few weeks time, sure they'll just fob me off!

Clareinthemiddle Thu 10-Sep-15 18:35:22

20 Fandango that is very early. Definitely get it checked out!

Hi Manatee. Sorry to hear for your loss. Sounds really similar. I'm also on cycle 2 and ovulating today I think.
How long did it take you to conceive the first time? Mine was on the 7th month which is nothing I know compared to lots of people but so many of my friends conceived within 2-3 months so just can't bear thinking it will be 7 months again sad

sundayraspberry Fri 11-Sep-15 19:18:44

Fandango that does sound like a weird cycle if you're usually regular, hopefully just a one off. Am also gonna try see gp again soon, I keep getting told to wait and see by them tho.

Am currently on cd40 something, tho not unusual for me! Have tested again Clare, had some spotting but nothing else. Frustrated!

Hi manatee, I also find it so hard not to think about it all the time. Not doing well this week!

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