TTC after miscarriage - new thread

[InsufficientlyCaffeinated]

I just spotted that the old thread was now closed to new messages so thought I'd start another. The old thread for reference: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2457787-TTC-1-after-miscarriage-looking-for-some-buddies

Hi Melvali glad you found us. Of course we wouldn't ditch you for talking about your mc! It's still recent and raw for lots of us and of course impacts on TTC so you're welcome to talk about it. I started this new thread because I saw the other one was full. I tried to comment on the old one but because it hit 1000 messages it closed so I couldn't so I just hoped everybody would find their way here eventually!

I'm glad you're taking care of yourself. I think it takes a while to get back to normal. I keep feeling like I'm OK then get floored by something all of a sudden. Mostly the fact it's dragging out - my MC is still incomplete so have to be scanned on Monday & then maybe surgical management if there's still retained tissue which there must be as my bleeding has stopped. I just want it to be over so I can get back to TTC.

Mel I can't help on the discharge front but I really don't think there is any need to apologise, I think we can all recognise we're at different stages in our journey and sometimes that means some of us are still going though the thick of it. In the discharge front, you're not having any pain, fever or bad smells are you? Have you had a scan to confirm there's no retained tissue? If you know there's no chance of that you might just be one of the unlucky ones who bleeds/spots for a bit longer

Lucky sorry about the spotting, that sucks

Fedup I hope your DH can start pulling his weight a bit more on that front. Does he know how small the window is? Once DH realised how small the window of opportunity is, it really helped him know that sometimes I need him to just sort it out! DH has asked that we do away with the 'this is the key week' stuff and I said that's fine by me (I know my cycle well enough to know when the crucial day is just by symptoms) but I did say that means we need to be having sex every second or third day for most of the month. If he gets too busy at work and things start slipping back to once a week, I'm going to start tracking things again. Also, it does sound like it could be the beginning of your fertile week. If your cycles are normal 30-31 days you should have a few days until you ovulate. Go jump your DH!

I'm 11 days post-surgery and I've had a tiny bit of EWCM the past day or two. I'm guessing this is a false LH surge and I'll ovulate in a week or so. I'm hoping DH is having a quiet day at work and won't be stressed when he gets home as I really want to try and have sex tonight. If not tonight then definitely in the morning. I'm so nervous though, feel a bit like its my first time all over again!

Elderberries, thanks for your comments. I'll definitely be jumping on him tonight!

It is both of us that let it slide. We both work crazy hours and regularly work away for a few days at a time so it just gets lost in a sea of day to day tasks and need for sleep and downtime.

Last month I did make a fuss of it being "the week" and we a aimed for everyday but we both felt it was too much pressure and no fun which neither of us want.

We've sort of decided I'll mention when prime time is and we will both make extra effort but we don't want it to turn into something mechanical especially because we don't know how long it's going to take.

It's difficult, I really am a planner and if I knew it would happen this month id suck it up and we would dtd as much as necessary.

It's sad because it wasn't like this first time around. I miss that.

Thanks girls, I just thought it was maybe too much for some people. I stupidly didn't realise that there was actual miscarriage forums and I would've been better posting on there but I found them and have come to terms with it enough to think about trying again.

Insufficiently I hope the scan shows everything has passed naturally by Monday and you don't need further treatment. I can't wait to stop bleeding and am lookin forward to my period in a strange way.

Ive not had a chance to fully catch up on the thread after a crazy busy week at work.

I think I had a positive OPK a couple of days ago at CD 28 if counting the first day of miscarriage as CD 1 and we've been at it every night for the last 2 weeks so I'm crossing my fingers for a positive!!

Hubby has been looking after himself and taking his vitamins too and we have started back on the veg juice every couple of days to help get our bodies in a better state.

brenna Glad your partner has come round slightly, hopefully he will ease off now.

Flourishing any more lines??

Hi Lucky sorry The Witch got you. She got me as well. Oh well. It is both of our birthdays this week. Mine is on Sunday and DH's is next saturday. My friend's funeral is on DH's birthday (his 40th no less) so I am going to treat us to a night in a hotel afterwards. That should be just before my fertile window. Hopefully that will relax us and get things kick started.

Hi Melvali sorry you got lost. We definitely wouldn't ditch you for talking about it. That is what this thread is here for. I had spotted you on other threads and didn't click that you weren't in here as well. I was about 3 weeks before I stopped getting any red. Then it restarted for a couple of days when I ovulated.

Fingers crossed that they get all the tissue out IC.

Llindsey - what vegs do you use for your veg juice? I take it you didn't wait for a period before TTC.

Brenna - I'm so sorry to hear your friend passed away. May she rest in peace. I remember reading your posts when you were visiting her in hospice. It really does put things into perspective doesn't it. Xxx

Aww Melvali sorry you had the thought that we ditched you, this absolutely should be a place you can speak freely about your loss. No need to apologise from my perspective. Glad for you that you're feeling positive about TTC again.

Brenna sorry the witch got you too. It's MILs birthday this weekend so it's not bad timing for me to be able to enjoy some guilt-free wine before having another crack at TTC in Feb. I'm tempted to back off from tracking next cycle now I've reassured myself my body's working OK as sure DH would welcome not having to ask what the thermometer/ opk has to say about "whether you're still alive and making hormones", he's been very tolerant and good humoured about it this month. He even expressed interest in my Ovia chart at one point. Don't want to push my luck though!

Sorry the with arrived for you Brenna and Lucky.

Melavi I had similar experiences to Lucky, it did take almost 3 weeks for me to get a negative test though which was worrying but I got there.

*the witch.

Positive thoughts for everyone.

Hello all, and welcome to the new thread Mel. Glad you found us again - this is exactly the right place to get our heads round what is happening/has happened; it's all part of looking to the future again. And it's not weird to look forward to AF, I was wildly excited

Sorry about the witch for you Brenna and Lucky, and I hope you get some resolution soon Insufficiently.

Yes Elderberries, it's my first AF since the MMC, and it seems pretty normal so I'm gearing up for getting back on the case!

In the interests of that I've been reading up about all kinds of things, since my eggs are getting on a bit. There seems to be an indication that a diet that's not too high in carbs and has plenty of protein (over 20%) may result in higher success rates with IVF, so I'm giving more protein a whirl. I'll try to find the link. Lots of eggs and fish and lentils going on here! And one full fat dairy serving, from a separate study.

I've given up caffeine but am making myself have the very occasional coffee to prove to myself I'm not being too extreme And just to cover all the bases, and I'm making sure I'm keeping my womb warm, so fluffy socks and hot water bottles, and no icy drinks

Fingers crossed for everyone crossing!

bonxie I lol'd at keeping your womb warm! I hardly ate any carbs when I lived abroad but now back in the UK I'm struggling to not eat too many.

melavi I use things like cucumbers, spinach, kale, apples, peppers, fresh herbs, ginger, beets and lots of other stuff. I just mix it up and chuck in whatever I feel like that day. We have a really good juicer though that almost cleans itself which is half the battle.
Yes, we started trying again without waiting on a period. I read a bit into it and didn't see a reason not to in my case. Still not positive I've even ovulated though as the lines didn't get very dark but we will see.
Are you going to wait for your period or just start right away?

Sorry for everyone who go their AF, onwards and upwards for next month!

Llindsey it's making me lol regularly. On the phone to my mother for instance: what are you up to? 'I'm just keeping my womb warm...'

And I've started wearing slippers

Prunes, I'm having 3 prunes every morning - apparently the highest antioxidant rating of any food. Unless I'm hallucinating - didn't get much sleep for some reason.

I have the giggles at keeping your womb warm! I like the thought of a nice cosy womb. Maybe a fleece lining for good measure

Today I have a lot of what seems like EWCM and I've had some sharp pain near my left ovary. If it wasn't for the incomplete status of my MC I'd swear I was ovulating or just about to... Is it possible?! Did a pg test 3 days ago to see if the hcg has left my system yet and I got a very faint squinter, similar to when I first tested at 12dpo when I got pregnant and nothing like the immediate dark line when I tested just for the hell of it two weeks after that BFP so ovulation seems unlikely now.

I'm off the caffeine still, hence keeping my name!

Brilliant - womb fleeces at the ready everyone!

Ah, of course re the name! I'm definitely Insufficiently boozed. Have the odd glass, and then a zinc capsule to cancel it out

Hi- can I join?
Yesterday I was confirmed as having a miscarriage. Not sure on how far along I was as everything apart from a small amount had already passed. I was using the depo injection and hadn't had any bleeding since July when the injection ran out. Found out mid way through bleeding I was pregnant due to a positive OPK which prompted me to take a pregnancy test. During the scan they also picked up a 6cm ovarian cyst too, not sure at the minute of its a functional cyst, follicular or something else but hospital are saying it should disappear by itself.
I had a late miscarriage in 2006 with an identical twin pregnancy after a car accident ruptured twin 1's membranes causing an infection. With my DD1 I had a disappearing twin which was miscarried at 7weeks and with DD2 no problems.
At the minute all my tests are still positive (OPK+HCG) waiting for those to return to negative so we can start again with trying.
Very nervous about becoming pregnant again.
Sorry to hear about everyone's losses, it's heart breaking how many women go through this every day!
I'm not sure how I can measure my cycle as I've not actually had any cycle for 6 months for me to estimate.
Good luck everyone TTC

Welcome Amy, sorry to see you joining us but welcome ! I know what you mea about TTC again.. Quite worrying. I think my hormones are just all over the shop as sometimes I feel totally ok about TTC again and other times I wonder how I'm ever going to get through it.

Not taken a test yet, it'll be three weeks on Tuesday since mc.

Llindsay - thanks for sharing your veg recipes. I'm going to wait for one period as I think I'll get all flustered with the dates!

Had a very busy morning. Lots of tidying up/ cleaning including the fridge, oven and micro, kitchen floor. Cooked curry and pilau rice too. Totally shattered. Just my bedroom left to tackle but I'll do that later. Hope your all having a nice weekend X

Welcome Amy and so sorry to hear about your losses

It took me about 3 weeks to get a properly negative test.

I'm in an organising mood too Mel, but off to stay with some friends later for the night, so that will be a distraction. I felt the same about dates and waiting for AF, but different strokes!

Welcome Amy. Sorry about your losses.

I am shattered too Mel. I got up before 6 this morning and drove 2 hours away to help search for a missing dog. I ahve tiwg in my hair, smelly culvert water all over me and I am scratched to pieces. Why do they always vanish in the wild areas? No sign of the dog but my dog loves me tonight. Apparently I smell delicious. Bath for me after I have eaten dinner and drunk some wine.

You sound like such a lovely person Brenna :) always helping others etc

Hello all - can I join your thread please?

I have just joined Mumnet after my second miscarriage and feeling very alone. It is so comforting to know there are other women in the same boat. All my friends and family have been so lucky in their pregnancies and conceptions, and I feel a bit lost if I am really honest.

Hi Kate, sorry to hear about your mcs and that you are feeling alone. It is a very a lonely experience but I've found great comfort speaking to women on here going through the same thing. Feel free to express your feelings and thoughts, we are all on our own journeys and can just try get through them together X

Can I join even though I already have a 4 yo dd? I'm not going to go through my whole story. It's posted in the miscarriage forum if you are interested. In short, I miscarried two weeks ago at 13 weeks. Baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks. I'm had a completely negative test this morning and I'm a couple of days away from completing my antibiotics. I feel 'normal' today. I'm struggling with the thought of ttc. DH and I haven't dtd in 3 months so I'm nervous about the first time. Everything is different now that this as happened and I could do with chatting to people who know how it feels.

Hey Loki, I'm sure that's fine as I think there are others here who have children already. I've not tested yet (to check preg hormones have settled) but maybe I should just get it over with? I was trying to just it out as long as poss. We dtd first time since mc today and it felt good. I really wanted to get intimate again and I'm quite sure that's the end of the bleeding now. It's probably going to feel a bit strange Loki but once your back in the saddle it'll be fine. Xx