TTC after miscarriage - new thread

[InsufficientlyCaffeinated]

I just spotted that the old thread was now closed to new messages so thought I'd start another. The old thread for reference: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2457787-TTC-1-after-miscarriage-looking-for-some-buddies

Hope everyone is having a nice weekend. I'm 11 dpo and feel
Strangely calm. I think I know deep down that I'm not going to be pregnant this time. This will be my first af after this mc. I remember it was awful after my ectopic.

Brenna I can't decide what is responsible for mine either... Whether it's genetics or stress related.

Something glad you're feeling calm, it's the best way to be.

I feel quite calm at the min. Still no sign that I'm going to ovulate, opk's are negative, temp is a bit erratic over the last couple of day not sure if that means anything and have been having on/off cramps since yesterday evening but I think that may be to do with all the cervix bashing! Enjoying dtd and being close to my DH again after fretting all of last month that this mc had really done some sort of damage and that I was never going to have a period again.

Happy Sunday everyone. It's CD 12 here and I got a flashing smiley face on my CB digital opk this morning. Really hoping that means I will ovulate on time this month. I'm going to avoid losing the plot this cycle by not allowing myself to even buy a pregnancy test until AF is late. I've eaten well this week and only had two small glasses of wine over the week so I'm feeling quite pleased with myself. Since the mc I've drunk more than usual (a glass a night and several on a Friday and Saturday. Which isn't excessive but isn't healthy either) and eaten crap food and take aways. Initially, even though I was eating crap I wasn't eating much so I lost a bit of weight. However, in the last month I've put half a stone on and my clothes are feeling tight. I've been avoiding exercise too as I don't want to do anything to upset ttc. I've decided to go for a brisk walk every evening because that is unlikely to do any harm. I feel like I'm regaining control a bit.
Something, glad you are feeling calm and hope if AF does show it isn't too bad. My first was awful but I had retained products.
Amy - cervix bashing made me laugh! Good luck everyone

Morning everyone! It's such a gorgeous day here. That is great news Loki! I totally agree re: buying tests. I totted it up and spent £300 on them over the past TWO cycles. I have lost the plot!

Sorry I haven't been keeping up to date much recently. I have been checking in every so often and seeing how everyone is. As you know, I had a chemical pregnancy last month which would have been my first AF since the MC and I found it very hard to cope with, despite knowing that my body wasn't back to normal yet and so the pregnancy had no chance of sticking...

BUT I have started seeing this AMAZING consultant at a recurrent MC clinic and he has been so reassuring so that has made a huge difference to my general state of wellbeing. I was so frustrated with how long it took my body to get back to normal and confused about why I still had retained tissue 2 months after surgery, but he just said it is totally normal. He said surgeons deliberately leave in tissue to allow the body to properly heal and repair itself for the next pregnancy. He used the metaphor of cutting a tree back - you don't cut out the roots, you just cut enough away for it to die off naturally and then it has a chance of new life. He said he was pleased I still had tissue in as it meant the surgeons did a good job! Ha.

So anyway, we are TTC again and I have just ovulated according to the OPKs, and so I think we are about 3 dpo. With my last three pregnancies I have felt a flutter at around 2 days after I have conceived so i am desperately holding out to feel that but nothing yet. Thankfully I have a busy week at work so will be distracted by that.

How is everyone else doing? xx

Kate glad to hear you're doing ok and you have a good consultant to help put your mind at rest.

Loki well done cutting down on your vices.

So I've just taken an opk and it looks positive to me but again the line in skinny not fat so wondering if I've maybe got a dodgy batch of the ic opk's! Included a pic, opinions please! The bottom one is the one I think it's positive, in the pic the test line looks lighter than the control line but when I'm holding it it looks the same colour hence why I'm unsure. Don't want to mark it down as positive just in case it's not

Hello everyone, I don't know if I belong here or not yet but I'm finding comfort in reading your posts.

I had my BFP on the 20th February but then miscarried two weeks later. I was distraught and now have phases of feeling fine about it, then feeling numb and then being in absolute tears.

My DH assumed we should start TTC'ing again straight away but I don't know how I feel about it, part of me is just so scared that it will happen again.

The miscarriage started last Saturday and the active bleeding stopped after two days and then slowly fizzled out all together and I've had no bleeding at all for about two days now.

I don't know when to expect a next period. I'm keeping DH at arm's length as I don't want to risk getting pregnant straight away.

Anyway, sorry for my ramblings, I'm going to keep following this thread and I will probably be an active member at some point in the near future.

to all of you for your losses and journeys.

Thanks Amy! It makes such a difference to have a consultant on our side.

I haven't used those OPKs before, I've only used the digital ones so I am not sure what I am looking for. Sorry I can't help. Do you have any other signs that you are ovulating??

xx

I am so sorry for your loss Writer. It will get easier I promise. Take comfort in this thread and keep talking to us. We've all been through it and I personally found everyone on here so supportive and lovely.

Have you had a negative pregnancy test yet? My EPU said I would have a period 2 weeks after my hormone levels were back to zero, and they were right. Everyone is different though. I used OPK to work out when I was ovulating and I started to ovulate two days after my negative p test. We TTC straight away and unfortunately that ended in a chemical pregnancy -and i think that is because my womb lining wasn't back to normal yet. I lost my second baby at 11 weeks and had surgery and a massive infection afterwards so I think my body was pretty traumatised by it all. It doesn't mean it would happen to you if you start TTC straight away. You just need to be mentally ready.

xx

Kate with these ones the the lines have to be the same colour or the line on the left has to be darker and I can't work out whether they're the same colour (doesn't look like it on the pic). Having some watery and slimey cm and have on/off cramps but that's it. Think I might purchase some digi ones these are so confusing and unclear.

Writer welcome and so sorry for your loss. Feel free to join in with us and ask any questions you need to. There's not much info out there on what to expect after mc. I was the same as you, kept DH at arms length because I was worried about retained tissue as well as falling pregnant quickly again. My first af arrived on 29th Feb, I started to miscarry on the 10th Jan. It's all very heartbreaking but you're in the right place for support

Thanks Amy and hopeful

I haven't had a negative HPT, I wasn't aware I was supposed to check? I have some tests though so I will do one when I next need a wee.

The whole miscarriage situation was awful as my DH was abroad so I had no support through it and had to deal with it whilst looking after our DS on my own too (he's very nearly two) - it was very hard. I had to tell my DH what had happened over the phone and it was awful.

I'm currently signed off sick from work but will be going back a week tomorrow. A lot of my colleagues (and managers) knew I was pregnant (they had to be told because of the nature of my job) and I'm dreading having to face them all.

Can I also ask what WTF stands for when talking about cycles? I haven't seen it before....

Ah right, I'd say the bottom one looks positive Amy. Plus, if you are having CM and cramps, you are probably in luck. Maybe get some digital ones for piece of mind.

Just a little bit of interesting info - my consultant said that he doesn't really trust digital OPKs because for some women they have more than 2 days of peak fertility and so by trusting them too much, some women miss their fertile window because they stop TTC after the peak smiley face disappears.

I decided to put his advice to the test and sure enough, I got my peak smiley face on Wednesday, it disappeared on Friday, and normally I would have thought, that means the window is over, but this time I decided to test again. Firstly it went back to negative as it would because the test reset itself, but then the next day it went to high and then to peak which means my peak window lasted 5 days. THANK GOD I tested cos it I hadn't we would have stopped TTC when in fact we got two more tries in...

xx

Writer you don't have to check, I did though just to make sure if I did fall pregnant again it was a true positive not just left over hormones from the mc.

Kate I'm still not sure if it's positive or not. I'm going to go and get some duel indicators tomorrow when I've finished work I think. Interesting what your consultant said, makes sense really as I know you can have surges of lh without actually ovulating which the digi would pick up on.

I've been trying to get a pic of this all day just because I think it's amazingly cool!
What you can see in the pic is my saliva and a ferning pattern (the bits that look like little trees). It's amazing what happens to your body when you're about to hit peak fertility. The oestrogen in you blood stream causes salt particles in your saliva to crystallises hence the fern like pattern. This is through a tiny microscope the size of a lipstick.

I know it's nerdy but it's just amazing!

loki I have been quite lax on the food, drinnk and exercise front over the last 6 months. I think we need to give our heads time to heal as well as our bodies.

Amy I think that one looks much more like a positive one. You can always go back and change it later if you are wrong.

It doesn't matter if you belong or not, you are welcome Writer. Taking a break is quite sensible. Rest and recover. I hope going bakc to work isn't too bad. My colleagues knew and were wonderful. Sympathetic and there to talk to, but happy to keep things about work when I needed to. I hope yours are too. My EPAc wanted to me to test and check my HCg was back to none 2 weeks after my m/c to make sure there were no retained tissue. It is a good plan.

DDog has decided he is not that keen on the cream cheese we use to give him his pills this week. A few have been spat stright on the floor followed by a 'look' at me. Then he ate it second time. Yesterday the little sod decided I wasn't getting the hint and spat that one onto MY SOCK!!! He is such an onionated little jerk. I think I may have to introduce some variety in pill smooshing stuff for a while.

Oh and Amy that ferning is cool. I love nerdy stuff

Brenna I've done another opk since that one and the lines are getting darker and fatter so will test again later and tomorrow. I'm CD14 so if my cycles 30 days I should ov tomorrow or the following day. Judging by my ferns I'm going to ovulate soon!

Been putting all sorts in the microscope to look at lol wonder if I'd be able to look at DH sperm in it

I'm wondering if I I had my surge yesterday as I'm getting cramps now. My cheapie opk was almost as dark as the control line yesterday but is lighter today. My clear blue digital was an empty circle though. Being the impatient person that I am decided to then buy the dual hormone ones which gave me a flashing smiley today. But with the cheapest fading out I don't know what to think. I guess we just have to dtd. I can't help but worry the ewcm straight after af was ovulation. If it was, we missed it because I was spotting so we didn't dtd. My boobs hurt already so at least I won't fixate on that as a symptom that I'm pregnant post ovulation!

Hi everyone, I'm back after a few weeks break from this thread. My uncle passed away and it was all quite sudden (went into Hosp with shortness of breath/chesty cough and after one night they transferred him to intensive care and after 11 days he passed away) so it has hit us hard. Still coming to terms with it. Haven't dtd much at all lately and I'm currently on my second AF since miscarriage. It was reassuring that it came bang on time so hopefully I can take this as a fresh start. My cousin who had been trying for 8 months has just told me she is 5 weeks pregnant and it did sting a bit but I'm really happy for her. Absolutely exhausted at the moment and not been eating well. Cannot be bothered with work at all. I'm starting at 9 and still lying in bed. Oh well best get up now.

That all sounds positive Amy. Time to get naked

You can have more than one surge before you ovulate Loki. Maybe it is that.

So sorry Cheeky. It is hard when things like that happen. Allow yourself some time to grieve and be a bit flat. It is understandable and good for you. Hopefully you will get your BFP soon and it is a sticky one and you can then have a child about the same age as your friends. That would be great.

Still fecking coughing. So fed up now.

Thanks Brenna. Hope your cough is better.

Hi All,
Jumping on if that's ok. I had an mmc last year at 12 weeks and just starting to try again now. Using clearblue digital ovulation tests. Last month static smiley for ovulation and exactly 2 weeks later AF so thought it was working perfectly. This month Static smiley on CD20. Now CD39. No AF but no BFP either. Have done several FRER tests as I have to come off medication as soon as I get pregnant so I have to just keep testing which is a bit stressful !
Any ideas ? Thanks

Sorry to hear that adventure. How long since the mmc? I had mine at 12 weeks also in the first week Jan. Just on second AF and will start trying properly now. That does sound stressful. Are your periods normally regular?

Sorry to hear about your uncle cheeky. You've been through the ringer recently, hop you are being looked after. Didn't know that about the lh surge, Brenna! Just going to keep dtd and hope for the best I think.

It was this time last year actually but we had a lot of family stuff afterwards which meant we just weren't thinking of ttc again until now. Cycle has always been long even before the mc but after the erpc they seem to have leveled out at between 35 and 42 days.

Hi Adventure. Sorry you have had a rough time. It might be that you got a static smiley but didn't actually ovulate, or ovulated later. Or it may be that your LP is messed up by stress or something. Or maybe you are just not showing up any hormones on the tests. Fingers crossed for the last.