TTC #1 after miscarriage - looking for some buddies

[Clareinthemiddle]

I have been ttc for 10 months. I'm 34.
Took it very easy the first few months and then went for it with OPKs, no caffeine, reduced alcohol and got my BFP in May, but sadly mmc at 12 weeks (a few days before my scan). The little thing had not made it past 5.5 weeks :(
Took July off to recover and then back on it again in August. Heard/read a lot about increased fertility the few months after a miscarriage so was really convinced August would be my month, but af arrived yesterday. Absolutely devastated.
Can feel a very lonely place, especially as I either have friends who conceived within 1-3 months, or those who always knew they would have issues so started with IVF a few years back and have thankfully all been successful. I guess I just thought I would have an easy ride, as my sisters did, but no such luck.
Thought it would be nice to share the journey with others dealing with similar situations or with success stories after a miscarriage. Please say hello :)

Thanks mascara :) I hope so - my worrying brain is still obsessing that it could be a missed ectopic not showing up, even though I have no symptoms of one at all! This TTC/miscarriage thing has made me even more neurotic than I already was. I just got back from buying baby clothes too! Best friend had a little girl a week ago and am going for cuddles tomorrow - can't wait :)

What's worrying going to achieve, nothing (she says ) unfortunately we are wired to think the worst case scenario now when more than likely it won't be. Fingers crossed for us all. A bit of good luck wouldn't go amiss xx

Hi all, cd66 for me so just waiting for something to happen. Anything would be nice, even AF! Got pg last time without AF appearing for 10 months so getting through a few preg tests a week just in case I get a surprise bfp again.

rhodes15 the emotional side of things didn't hit me until I returned to work after.

Feeling shitty today. Still feel sick but another BFN with FMU. Got a day on the train and then visiting best friend and her new baby, which I'm so excited about but also worried how I'll feel. She doesn't know about my MC as I didn't want to tell her when she was pregnant :-( keep seeing bumps and babies everywhere and just sad it's not me. Partner thinks I'm not emotionally ready to try again yet as I got so freaked out yesterday about possibility of ectopic. He thinks I should go back on pill but I want I get an idea of my natural cycle. Sorry for rant. Feeling sick just reminds me of when I was pregnant :-(

Ah Sunday how frustrating for you!

Sophia why don't you let your normal cycle kick in and just see how it goes and take the pressure off yourself. Stop trying as such and just dtd when you want to. Then if it happens it happens but if it doesn't you can actively try when you are really ready.

Nothing to report here 5dpo. X

Your body will do strange things post mc with all the hormones settling so try not to worry Sophia. Perhaps you could use condoms for a week or two while you see what your cycle does, that would avoid the pill but give you some head space.

If either of you have any tips on dealing with a friend's newborn I'd love to know! Gotta deal with this situation in a few weeks time.

Hi all, cd20 here and still no smiley opk, I'm thinking to give the cheap Amazon opks a go next cycle and test twice a day, but on the other hand I'm worried I might get too obsessed... Arghh this ttc malarkey is so hard... Sorry Sunday can't really help you, my best friend has recently had a baby but weirdly I'm absolutely fine about it whereas I found it harder when a couple of colleagues announced they were pregnant and I can get quite upset when I'm out and about and come across pregnant ladies. Bizarre I know!!

Thanks for advice everyone :-) planning to go for mixture of condoms and not dtd around ovulation. Really hate condoms after 5 years not using them though!
Visiting newborn was surprisingly fine- love for friends and their little one overcame any worries I had- can see how it would actually be more difficult with colleagues or strangers- bloody hated the women on the train who kept going on about their children!

Hi all,
Sorry for radio silence these last few days. Been finding it really tough since my af last weekend, but trying to focus on the positive again.
I went to the drs last week and they are testing my hormone levels this month, so had a blood test at day 6 and need to have another 1 at around day 20. If my hormones are all fine, they will book me in for a scan and hubby for a semen analysis. Onwards and upwards!!

Sundayraspberry - great news about the clinic referral. I too was worried the dr would tell me to go away and keep trying, as I've fallen pregnant once, but she was happy to look into things further. I guess because of my age and the length of time we've been trying :(

Welcome Sophia1984 - sorry for your loss and then having the added worry of the possible eptopic. Taking a relaxed approach definitely sounds like the way forward right now.

Mascaraisamust - how are things going with you? Are you in the 2 week wait now?

I totally get the whole 'surrounded by babies' thing. I feel like I can't escape it right now!! I have 2 friends about to drop with #2 and I haven't even got to #1 yet!! A colleague at work who has had problems for a year (but knew she did because she's had no af for months), but conceived in July with her first round of clomid. Another friend who tried to conceive for 2-3 years, had IVF last November which was successful and gave birth last month. I went to see the newborn a few weeks ago. I put on a brave face and did enjoy a cuddle, but cried in the car afterwards. She knows about the mc, so think that helped, as she was just really chuffed that I popped in for a visit.

I also went for acupuncture last night and told the lady about not starting my af until 17dpo, which is weird for me. She said it could well be that it tried to implant, which would explain the pains around 7/8dpo, but failed, which resulted in a delayed af arrival. She said this was a positive thing, but just makes me question why it won't stick!! Anyway, just thought I'ad add this in case any of you experience something similar.

Chin up Clare, we will get there, one way or another! That's interesting what was said about the acupuncture and it's good that the GP is doing extra tests. Knowledge is power!

Tww it is, 6dpo. I reckon AF is due Saturday if LP is still short. That will only be 10dpo though. I'm not that hopeful with it being the first month since but we dtd at the right times.

Got my private fertiity consulatation tomorrow, at last

Must feel good (in a way) to get things going with tests and consultants clareinthemiddle and mascaraisamust

Tough day here- am away with work and really missing my partner. Had a panic attack on the tube- MC plus other stressful life stuff has caught up with me :-( Started bleeding today but it's mainly pinky mucus and it's 4 days early so part of me hoping it's implantation even though I know it's most likely first day of AF. Am on train but going to loos regularly to knicker check! Can't wait to get home.

Oh no Sophia, hope you are ok. Fx that it is implantation for you. If it's not at least you have cleared up what your plan to do for next month.

Thank you. Had a medicinal glass of wine on train as I needed calming down. Don't know what came over me but seem to be ok and DF (is that right for dear fiance?) is primed for me arriving home in need of care. Am going to make a doc's appointment tomorrow to talk about my anxiety as it's something I've been repressing rather than dealing with. Fx for a happy end to your 2ww too :-)

Period for me today. Almost a relief as I now feel a lot less anxious and sick. I had horrendous PMT even when I was on the pill...

Update on the private consultation:

I told them about my day 21 pg level being 1, spotting when I got my bfp, luteal phase was 8 days approx. and the nhs gp just telling me to relax and refusing to do any more bloods and to wait for 3 mcs before referral.

I discussed my case for progesterone and the trials I'd looked at.

So he has written to my gp suggesting that I now have full bloods done to just check prolactin and other things whilst I'm there. DH is also having a SA on the NHS.

He wants me to wait one cycle and then he wants to start me on clomid and progesterone once I have ovualted.

He also said if I get my BFP this month he would happily prescribe progesterone this month

Sophia, I'm glad you are feeling better today and you know where you are x

That's great mascarisamust. I know lots of people who have had conceived whilst on clomid!

Sophia - sorry ad showed its ugly head but good to be able to move on with the next cycle.

My first set of blood tests all came back normal, so now move forward to day 21 blood test next week.

Yay mascara great news about consultant appointment! When do you think you might get to start it? I'm expecting to be started on clomid after clinic visit tho prob not as soon as you. Will be glad to hear how you get on with it.

Today marks 1 year since we started TTC. Can't believe how fast its gone, feeling a little sad. Hoping for a more productive year to follow

Thanks mascara and Clare I'm looking forward to doing some temperature-taking and charting just for my own self-knowledge and so I feel more in touch with what my body is doing. Good luck with your tests and appointments :)

Sunday the specialist said to wait one cycle after mc (still waiting for my first AF, 8dpo now however I feel it may be on the horizon as I'm a little achy). So assuming AF starts tomorrow (which would mean I still have a 9 day LP) and my cycle remains 28 days, i would be looking at maybe mid-November as that's when the next cycle would be.

What about you?

clare good news about your results.

sophia good to hear your are chilling out x

I've made it one day over my short LP to 10dpo! Wahey... Althought it's 6 weeks since mc now and no AF. If I dont get a BFP I hope my next cycle isn't this long! I'm used to 28 day cycle but ovulating late. How are well all?

Fx for a bfp mascara and good news that bloods are normal so far clare. I'd estimate mid Dec for clomid as got clinic early nov. Think I'll prob need new bloods and an up to date ultrasound to check the state of my poor cystic ovaries, but I have ways and means of getting those done quickly . Might need provera or similar to induce a cycle tho.

However, am getting signs that AF might be on the way!

Well I've read I also need an ultrasound scan too, so maybe we will be taking it around the same time Sunday. If it landed in December Id be tempted to wait until after xmas so I can enjoy the festivities x

Am giddy with excitement as AF has arrived! Will have to see how long and how heavy bleeding is tho. Think I might order some cheap opks and see if I ovulate

I'm not sure what to do about starting treatment before Xmas, mascara. Had the same thoughts but would rather not delay. Am just not sure what side effects to expect.

AF got me, arrived very early and is very painful.... my cycles are usually 26-28 days and this one was only 24, should I be concerned?? I find it so upsetting every time af arrives, it's nearly 5 months since my mc.... sorry for the me me me post....