TTC #1 after miscarriage - looking for some buddies

[Clareinthemiddle]

I have been ttc for 10 months. I'm 34.
Took it very easy the first few months and then went for it with OPKs, no caffeine, reduced alcohol and got my BFP in May, but sadly mmc at 12 weeks (a few days before my scan). The little thing had not made it past 5.5 weeks :(
Took July off to recover and then back on it again in August. Heard/read a lot about increased fertility the few months after a miscarriage so was really convinced August would be my month, but af arrived yesterday. Absolutely devastated.
Can feel a very lonely place, especially as I either have friends who conceived within 1-3 months, or those who always knew they would have issues so started with IVF a few years back and have thankfully all been successful. I guess I just thought I would have an easy ride, as my sisters did, but no such luck.
Thought it would be nice to share the journey with others dealing with similar situations or with success stories after a miscarriage. Please say hello :)

Oooh, that looks better Vap. Everything crossed for you here.

hi girls! sorry I've been quiet too, such a busy time and I'm working too so it's manic!!

hi to the new girls, glad you've found us to share your journey with,although I'm sorry about the circumstances that find you here, hugs.

I have an early scan booked for Fri the 8th, I'll be 7+5. baby didn't grow past 7+4 last time. I think I will book another scan if they don't offer me one before my 12 week - I know I'll need the extra reassurance.
been feeling pretty awful this week, had a cry in the loo at work today as it's so hard thinking that it might not be all worth it! But I'm mainly managing to stay positive.
It went well telling my mum and then the rest of the family at Christmas, although I can feel myself being way more subdued about it all.

vap you're lines look promising, ive got everything crossed this is it for you!!! testing again tomorrow?

about the doppler I'm very lucky that I never had any issues finding his hb - I think I heard it 1st from about 10 weeks which is super early, and although in those early weeks it sometimes took some finding, I always got it.

how is everyone? anyone due to test soon? any other scans coming up?

xxx

Vap good luck! Northern, stranger things have happened.

Frankie, fingers crossed at the early scan. I've only had to one at 8+5 and the wait has been hard. I'm now 10+5, difficult to think it was only two weeks ago but it's 12 days until my 12 week scan, then I'll start believing this is happening. Thats also means 12 days left of the progesterone! Quite nervous to stop it now.

Mascara are you on a pessary? Or tablets? Don't blame you not wanting to stop. Although from what I hear everyone stops at 12 weeks. Do you look pregnant yet or is it still a bit early to show? I wish I had some progesterone! I have a telephone appointment with my GP on Tuesday and I'll be asking for bloods, hcg and progesterone. At least that way if they say my progesterone is of a good level then I'll put the last 2 mc down to bad luck. Or it will be highlighted if it is too low. Just hope she will agree to the blood tests.

frankie the Doppler sounds good. Will do my best to resist buying one. Again I'm just thinking of early scans. Think that will be the best thing for me.

Vap! That's so exciting! I can imagine you're finding it hard to get excited but I'm keeping everything crossed for you. Those lines are looking nicely darker.

Grace I second what everyone is saying about going for that job. You just never know what's going to happen. We started TTC just before I started my current job and I was so worried about not being there very long before mat leave- it's now 9 months later. Hopefully it won't take you very long to fall again but at the end of the day it's a job and you need to do the best by you and yours. Plus, being closer to your family will be good in any event :)

Bon I'm so sorry your DH has been less than ideal through this whole thing. I think men are problem solvers by nature so they like having a problem to 'fix'. My DH is really good with the emotional stuff, but only because I have told him what I need. EG if I'm crying hysterically I've told him I just need to be held and I need for him to just let me be sad. He functions much much better if I tell him exactly how he can support me, if I just cry and am wailing 'it's not FAIR' he was saying stuff like 'you can't think like that', so I said to him 'well, I am, and right now I'm allowed to be illogical and just sad. Please just let me feel what I need to and hug me' so he does and once I feel supported I find that really helps.

Things are still ongoing here. If nothing's happened by next week I'm going to ask to have the surgery on Friday. Absolutely bricking it but I had a v small bleed on Tuesday wth tiny clots and that has made me realise I'm probably too far along to be able to comfortably handle this by myself (10 weeks on Saturday). Meant to be back at work on Monday and DO NOT want to go

Pessaries vap, twice a day. I got them on the nhs when I saw a fertility nurse but I had to argue my point of why I should be prescribed them and she spoke to the consultant. The private clinic I went to agreed to prescribe them too. My gp said she couldn't give me them and only once I got the ok from the hospital she then started to prescribe me them. I had a short Luteal phase and low progesterone of 1 and 7. If they don't give you them maybe try and get a private consultation if you can and get them to prescribe it, the difference was huge!

It's still early vap to show but people have noticed my low bump/bloat and I can't fit in any of my clothes!

elderberries could you ask epau or gp to sign you off sick if its all still ongoing? I don't think it's unreasonable to ask and I'm sure they would. I chose to have surgery so ask away if there's anything you want to know, I had a straight forward recovery x

Tentative congratulations vap, we're here to keep you sane during the next few weeks.

Happy new year to all! My OH is at work and I'm probably gonna be in bed by 9 so here on my lonesome. Hope some of you are celebrating seeing in the new year tonight, good riddance to 2015 eh?

Happy New Year to you all. 2015 brought some huge highs and lows for us, I am hoping that 2016 brings us all joy and babies.

Happy new year ladies, SORRY for all the losses and I hope 2016 helps to ease the pain. can I join.

D&C on 8 Dec. So its CD 25 after a D&C baby stopped growing at six weeks when we thought we were 9 weeks. Was told to call EPU if I test positive after 3 weeks, did a frer and I have a the faintest of lines, although yesterday's seemed negative to me.

I have also had flashing smileys for 6 days last week after two negative days. Not sure if I did ovulate because I run out of digital sticks. Anyway I got a positive superdrug opk on 30 Dec and I had ewcm for a few days.

we have BD every other day since day 10. I have no idea what my body is doing. Please share how long after negative test did you get AF, ovulation or BFP.

I just want to get pregnant.

Brown spotting at 3+6 again
It's the beginning of the end for the 3rd time. And yet again the Drs is shut when it's happening.
What a shit way to start the year.

Or poor thing Vapo, did you have a cycle after last one? Brown spotting could just be old implatation blood, please don't worry just yet. Have you checked with clearblue with conception weeks to see if the hcg levels are still increasing?

Hugs Vap.

Vap0 not necessarily ... Fingers crossed its old blood x

Vap hopefully old blood, but hugs anyway becuase you probably need one x

Some light relief. Last night my poor old dog had a wobbly few moments with the fireworks, although not as bad as he has been in the past thanks to the right medications and some hard work by me over the last couple of years. This morning we had a fantastic walk around the city with absolutely nobody around. We found a big firework launching tube device thing discarded in the park. He sniffed it, peed all over it and then swaggered off with his tail in the air looking smug. I nearly wet myself laughing at his attitude. He always has to have the last word.

Sounds like a clever dog, made me chuckle .Will anyone share how you body dealt with a D&C?

Hi Flourishing Sorry you are here with us. I can't help sorry. I found out at 10 weeks Rowan had died and miscarried naturally at 11.5 weeks. I had about 4 or 5 days of heavy bleeding and cramping after I had passed the sac and baby. Then another 2 weeks of lighter bleeding but I had a normal cycle after the first 5 days apart from the extra bleeding and another 2 days of bleeding and cramping when I ovulated. Then a normal period at about 5 days longer than normal.

He is too bloody clever but very funny.

funny doggy Brenna!

Flourishing, sorry you are here. I had surgical management and felt physically fine - I had a mmc and after the surgery everything felt like it had been a dream. I bled for a week or so after and had my 1st AF 24 days later. ovulation was my normal after this as was my cycle, and I got my BFP my 2nd cycle.
hope this helps. If it happens to me again I'd opt for surgery again too xxx

Thank you Frankie and Brenna, I only bled for one day after miscarriage, I took could not face waiting it out. Surgery was the best option.you are lucky to get your BFP as soon as you did Frankiepamts1, I hope my AF comes soon. When did you get yout negative test after surgery?

Happy new year, lovely ladies.

Thought I'd just pop my head in to say hello and wish everyone a happy, healthy year, and good news for everyone here who so deserves it.

flourishing, I had an ERPC like you at 9 weeks in October, after scans showed no growth since 6.5 weeks. The surgery was over very quickly and I had almost no pain afterwards, just a light-ish period type bleed for 6 or 7 days. Turns out I OV'd only two days later than usual that cycle, and got a BFP 5 weeks after the surgery. It did cause quite a bit of confusion having scans and bloods as it took about a week or so to confirm it was a new pregnancy and not retained tissue from the ERPC. It can happen, though! Good luck.

vap I'm so so sorry you're going through all this again - I understand how horrifying it is but please do keep faith until you know - it could be implantation as others have said at this stage for sure. I've had bleeding for nearly three weeks this pg (9 + 6 so far) and was totally convinced I'd MCd again, twice, but scans proved me wrong (so far, touch wood). Turns out at the last scan I have a subchorionic haematoma which explains the horrifying bleeding. The nurse who scanned me also said 'you might just be a bleeder'. Shit luck and scary as hell if that is the case but better than the alternative. Sending you lots of love and hope it's just a bump in the road.

Oh Vap so sorry you're having some bleeding. I had some implantation bleeding when my period was due and I know a lot of women do get implantation bleeding so fingers crossed its nothing more than that. Are you having blood tests done or anything like that? I would go to the GP and get this pregnancy on your medical history just in case the worst does happen. Really hope this is it for you though!

Sorry you're here Flourishing. I'm going to have an ERPC this week sometime- it was going to be Friday but I might try for sooner as I have started bleeding again and not sure I could handle the bloodloss I'm expecting as am 10 weeks today. When are you having yours?

Clara so glad this pregnancy is going well for you in spite of the bleeding! Not what you need is it, especially after a loss. At least you can see where it's coming from and it's just scary and not detrimental to the pregnancy.

How long did you all have off work if you had an ERPC? I have said to my bosses I could probably have it done Friday and be back at work Monday, but I'm a nanny for toddler twins so thinking a week off might be better as don't want to strain myself and bleed heavily I'm also starting to feel much more emotional about things- I'm working through a lot of guilt about not being able to protect this baby and keep it alive, and guilty for going back to work and 'ignoring' that it's died and like I'm not honouring it enough. I just feel like I need more space to grieve- but because I'm a nanny it really fucks up my bosses work if I'm not there. I'm handing in my notice on Monday anyway...I dunno. Have never wished more that I had an office job in a big company that could absorb my absences

Smelleofelderberries, I am so sorry you are going through this, I have already had my D&C or ERPC as its called these days. I had it on the 8th of Dec.

Physically you will be able to go back on Monday. I only bled for a day. Your job makes it harder for you but I think you should go in explain the situ and work it through with your employer. It maybe they can jungle things around and give you time off.

Unfortunetly you work with kids, but work can be a useful distraction. I find when I am not busy I dwell on the loss. However this is the one thing you cannot control you just have to ride it and hope to try again.

Hello all, thanks for the support. I'm struggling a bit to keep up at the moment but thinking of you all. Crossing everything for positive outcomes, and really hoping that it's implantation Vap.

I've joined the dry January thread too as I've been trying to bury my disappointment with wine over Christmas, which is not the way to a bfp.

Here's to a more positive 2016!

Thanks Flourishing. I'm worried about bleeding heavily at work from overdoing it I think, as we're out and about a lot and my work is very physical, I'm knackered after a day when I'm in perfect health. Lots of lifting/carrying the little ones, walking 3+ miles a day pushing the buggy etc. I guess I will just talk to the midwife and see what she suggests. After my first scan at 5 weeks even when things looked okay, when she found out what I did for work she said to really take it easy and get the bus instead of walking/not to lift both toddlers at once etc. I suspect she will be conservative about suggesting how much time to take off. I guess better to overestimate time needed and go back early than underestimate and have to have half days or days off unexpectedly They will just need to manage.