TTC #1 after miscarriage - looking for some buddies

[Clareinthemiddle]

I have been ttc for 10 months. I'm 34.
Took it very easy the first few months and then went for it with OPKs, no caffeine, reduced alcohol and got my BFP in May, but sadly mmc at 12 weeks (a few days before my scan). The little thing had not made it past 5.5 weeks :(
Took July off to recover and then back on it again in August. Heard/read a lot about increased fertility the few months after a miscarriage so was really convinced August would be my month, but af arrived yesterday. Absolutely devastated.
Can feel a very lonely place, especially as I either have friends who conceived within 1-3 months, or those who always knew they would have issues so started with IVF a few years back and have thankfully all been successful. I guess I just thought I would have an easy ride, as my sisters did, but no such luck.
Thought it would be nice to share the journey with others dealing with similar situations or with success stories after a miscarriage. Please say hello :)

So sorry Mel.

I had ERPC in November, it was a v quick and painless procedure, had mild cramps for about an hour afterwards, and light bleeding for 5 days. All the staff were very kind and caring towards me and I felt very looked after.

The general anaesthetic took a lot out of me (I think I react strongly to them) and I needed to stay in bed for 3-4 days afterwards with weakness and grogginess. I went back to work on a reduced load on the 5th day and was fine physically within a week.

Hope that helps.

Hi Melvali. Sorry you are with us. I spoke to several people when trying to chose what to do. One lady had had 9 miscarriages. The opinion seemed to be unanimous for EPRC. I wanted just to have one at home - MMC discovered at 10 weeks, baby died at 8 weeks. I gave in and booked an EPRC on that advice but miscarried before it could happen at 11 weeks and 3 days. I think at home was the right place for me mentally and I didn't lose too much blood but it could have been a lot more dramatic had I haemorraged. Luckily not. I think EPRC is probably the best idea. One friend went for the medical management, after a month of bleeding and not losing everything she had to have an EPRC anyway. It was 6 weeks before hers was over.

Today I was back at work and DH was still off. I got home to soup and pasta sauce cooked, the floors all washed and the toilet cleaned (with my facecloth - oops ).

I think TTC is taking the romance out of DTD though. This evenings seduction from him was the line "Sex or dinner first, dear?" oh well. I did my first OPK test of this month and it is positive today. Somewhat sooner than I expected. Glad we have DTD several times over the last few days.

congratulations FeatheredTail! great news and hoping for a healthy and happy pregnancy for you :)

Clareinthemiddle I'm with you. Most of our friends have kids, some already on #2 and others onto #3. I've heard about increased fertility after an mc too I hope it's true. I waiting 3 regular cycles after my mc but now trying again.

Aww it sounds like the romance is still there to me Brenna :-) It's all about the little things, isn't it?

Brenna i opted for natural at home too although I was offered both erpc and medical management. I think going through it gave me some closure instead wondering if i really was pregnant at all. Luckily it was free of complications as I know other people have it harder

Negative test here at last - so back on the case!

Oh Melvali, hug really sorry to hear you've found yourself joining us here - I remember your story from the July ante-natal thread like Bonxie, it sounds like you've been through the mill since we both started spotting at around week 6. Hope you have emotional support from family and friends in hospital, this thread is a good place for understanding too.

Thanks girls. Because the risk of infection is higher for me, one of the docs was swaying towards the pill route. She said I could do it whilst in Hosp, after we have got on top of the UTI.

Most strange thing is that last night I started getting cramps, period like ones but all radiating through my back. I've also had some brown bleeding when wiping but it does feel like the beginning of a period. How odd that the miscarriage would begin the same day as finding out the baby stopped growing at the scan? Given that it stopped growing at 8+4 and I should've been 12 today. I'm hoping the doc will be willing to give me the tablet today given that it is naturally starting anyway.

The thought of flushing it down the toilet really does distress me but I think it's the wiser option given my high risk of infection with the EPRC

Can I ask those of you that are trying again? It must be so stressful. The apprehension etc. Do you ever get over your first? The small details just keep playing around in my head.

Melvali I kept a sieve by the toilet so that when mine started I was able to catch everything and we kept Rowan and got him or her cremated. If you are in hospital tey catch everything in the grey commode inserts so that they can check what you passed. You can get them to give the baby to you or we had the option of sending them for a mass cremation with other similar babies. They never get flushed down the loo in hospital. We opted for an individual cremation as we are taking Rowan to the family burial plot in Italy. Depending on the size you are not guaranteed to get any ashes back that way. We were lucky and did.

Thanks Brenna

I only realised this morning that they don't flush it down the loo in hospital. I'm going for the tablet method now and just waiting on it being administered. Wish me luck

sorry melit's really tough going, but each gets easier than the last, make sure you let yourself grieve.thinking of you.

Bonxie how long have you waited for a negative test? 4 weeks here and only just got a clear negative.

Sounds really harrowing Mel. On the note of trying again, for me it helps as it gives me something positive to focus on. I'm not sure I'd be able to do that had my miscarriage happened much later though, and we're all different. For me, it's not something I'll get over or forget, and I don't think I'd want to, to honour the memory. My first pregnancy is something I can appreciate I was lucky to have, and I enjoyed what I was able to experience of it. Next time, I'm going to try to appreciate all the little things all the more for knowing it might not last and I can't take it for granted - I realise I'll also spend every minute worrying and knicker checking, but I'll try to take it day by day, or perhaps even moment by moment. I admire the courage of the other ladies pregnant again after miscarriage.

Only 2-3 weeks Flourishing, I was just being impatient!

Hi all, and hello to all the newbies. Sorry you find yourselves here and hope for speedy recoveries, esp Mel.

Keep checking in to see how you all are and to cheer you on from the sidelines on your TTC journeys (sorry to sound so cheesy!). Sounds like you made the most of that positive opk brenna, BTW I'd always pick dinner before sex . And good news with the negative test bonxie, hope you are feeling positive still about trying again x

Relieved here today as i had a good 12 week scan. Was nervous as I had a missed mc last time but feel the first milestone is passed now . Hang on in there ladies and keep chatting to each other, it helps x

Thank you Sunday, Bonxie its 30 days here and no AF, I have the thickest and whitest CM I have ever had.

I had positive OPK since Saturday, only just gone negative which makes me 5DPO , I think I ovulated on day 24. I had a clearblue opk pink digital, was too annoyed with flashing smileys with the other one, I confirmed it with superdrug OPK,s . Yes I did have negative OPK whilst I had faint positive pregnancy test. On frer

Sorry to be such a newbie but what should I expect after this miscarriage? Nobody has advised me to take a preg test and they just said wait at least one normal period

melvali sorry about your mc. I was told to test after 4-5 weeks to make sure the body is no longer producing pregnancy hormones after mc. Was recommended to wait 2 full cycles after before TTC again mainly to be sure about dates - but no physical reason to wait so it's really if you're ready.

I don't think I will be ready.. Thank you Hoe quickly did everyone get over the exhaustion?

Melvali - unless there is a specific medical reason then you can start trying straight away if you are up to it.

Using a pregnancy test will help you to know when all the pregnancy hormones have left. 2 benefits really; making sure everything has gone and the other reason is because your body won't start a new cycle of ovulation and period while it thinks you are still pregnant so it can help you with when to start trying again.

The only reason they ask you to wait is so they can properly date the pregnancy but if you are alright with uncertainty over dates then go for it if you feel emotionaly able. I'm firmly in the want to be pregnant again ASAP camp!

Your body can take time to get back in sync though. I've been doing OPK's for the last week and they are very confusing as my hormones are clearly still all over the place :(

flourishing - good luck for the wait! What day in your cycle did you get a negative pregnancy test if you don't mind me asking

brenna - I had to laugh at your comment on the romance of it all, I think I better tone it down too otherwise I'll drive my husband insane!

Sunday CONGRATULATIONS on the healthy 12 weeks scan!! What a wonderful relief.

Mel I just spoke to my Dr and he said we can start as soon as I'm feeling ready. There's no reason to wait if you're emotionally ready (my Dr said I will probably be physically okay before I'm emotionally okay).

My plan for trying again after the surgery is to have a little more good wine, a little more proper food (hopefully I'll have a bit more time to cook when I finish my job in 7 weeks!) and a lot of awesome sex. I went full on with the OPKs and timing things and no caffeine or booze in the TWW and all of that sounds SO STUPID now. I did EVERYTHING right and I still lost this baby, so fuck the rules.

Excellent update Sunday :) makes me very happy to see!

ah sunday, so happy for you! lovely to get a little update.

hey to all the newbies, sorry to find you here and I hope 2016 brings us all rainbows.

got my reassurance scan at 2:15 tomorrow, wish I'd taken the morning off work now as I know I'll not be able to concentrate. will be 7+5 and baby didn't make it past 7+4 last time, not sure how reassured I'm going to feel tbh, but will get another in a couple of weeks either with epas or will go private if they don't offer.

hope everyone's ok, sorry it's mainly just an update about me post, im struggling a bit to keep up with the thread these days! xxx

That is excellent news Sunday. I wasn't hungry so I picked sex first . We very definitely caught our window this month. Fingers crossed that is enough. 6 times in 8 days over the right period.

Lindsay the funny thing is that DH has the app on his phone and is tracking far more vigorously than me so I don't need to worry about toning it down. I think he is enjoying the excuse It really has become past of the To Do list for the evening though.

Melvali I was told to do a pregnancy test after 2 weeks and get back to them if it wasn't negative. I did one after 5 days and it was already negative. I did another two at 1 and 2 weeks and still negative. They told me to wait a month before trying, which turned into 2 months due to DH being away over my fertile window last month. This month we have started again. I don't think the exhaustion really faded for me until we had a chance to rest at christmas but that was partly due to being swamped at work and having multiple other horrible things happening that really just gave me no time to recover.