The BESH are cheating on Luck with Irony, all Hags aboard for the ironiclusterdiff of the decade (for the B's and the none B's!)

[Blue2014]

You know the drill by now ...

Rules of Entry - must be over 30, TTC no. 1 for over a year, be suitably evil and Hag like, willing to shout Cunt at the moon on regular occasions, consume extra gin when our fellow hags are unable to, and to get the nipple tassles out for any successful Hag ...

No admittance without a complete BESHtionnaire - see below.

Check out Mark Zuckerberg Mr Facebook announcing his wife's pregnancy on FB... and talking about how they have been trying for years and had three miscarriages.

Good on them I say!

I love when people are honest about - Ant of ant and dec say he and his wife have been trying for years too

I saw the announcement on Facebook, I've shared it.

Keeping everything crossed Barking.

I'm back and I'm clean!!!!
Hate the new progesterone pessaries. NOT fun when festival camping. Let's just say there was more mess than a pantyliner could cope with, and a festival portaloo was NOT the nicest place to sort it out. Ew.
Stabbing in a tent with two squabbling siblings the other side of the fabric wasn't fun either.

But all over now

Erica! So good to see you hag!!

Thanks Barking! - shakes anchovies off hair with panache.

Well done with festival, hag. Did you see any good bands? I haven't been to a festival for years, maybe it is time to take my party shoes out!

Hags do I need someone with me for the HSG or I am ok to drive and stuff after?

I am going to kill him!!! I'm actually going to kill him. He has had his appointment for the repeat spaff test for over 1 month, they sent it directly to him (foolish move, always send to the wife) I've been asking him for a month to tell me the details of it (ie last release) I woke up this morning to realise we 'released' him on Saturday and now he's considering cancelling the test because it will be 50 hours since not 4 days (letter says 2-4 days) and he wants the best quality sample.

I don't want the best fucking sample!!! I want an accurate sample, it's no good having super-fucking-sonic spaff every 4 days if to make a baby you have to stick it in me at least every 2 days!! Stop being so "I need to protect my masculinity"!!! So I can see he is going to cancel everything - which means another month or so wait, and means I have to cancel the private appointment with the spaff specialist and that goes back over a month. I'm so fucking tired of this, he has so little to do and he seemingly does none of it!!!!!!!!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fucking men!!!!!!!!!

Arggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh blue, that is ridiculous. He is being massively massively selfish. Have you called him out on this in direct terms? I'm sure you probably have but if not this sounds like the right time to lay it all out for him in the midst basic terms. Every inch he takes to protect himself is wounding you tenfold, how can he not see this? Feel free to send me his number and I'll gladly call him and have a go. Men!

Good to see you Erica and welcome back from festival land barking. Will check in properly later

Blue he is being ridiculous, it says 2-4 days and that is where he is. 4 days could actually produce a worse sample as it's older.
on your behalf.

Thanks Hags, it's so hard being a hag married to a non Hag. I am harsh and practical, at this stage after 3 years of trying I say pray for a bad sample, if it's awful we may well get an immediate icsi referral rather than having to put me through a string of further tests before we even get a referral. I also wouldn't mind him wanting his best sample if he took charge of making it good (ie. Stop drinking, tell me when your sample is due so I don't accidentally get you off too early!)

He's rescheduled it but I'm away the weekend before the test and I know what he's like so he will forget and I will have to text him both days reminding him not to wank! I'm tired of being everyone's diary

I am so sorry you have to go through this Blue, it is so unfair.... I don't know wtf is up with some mr hags being on sort of denial, saying yes, let's do treatment and then behaving like this...

I have no advice, sometimes an explosive row works, other times a calm chat and others just giving it time to settle... but I am angry with you and sending you cockles of calm and GIN!!!

Sorry you are having to deal with his crap Blue. I do think that a lot of the time with men it's a case of just not thinking things through. They can be very blasé about things and not realise quite what an effect their actions (or lack thereof) can have.

blue I never condone violence but that would make me feel like smashing things up, I am so for you!!! Has thr rescheduled appointment messed things up with the specialist? does he understand how upset you are and why? I would be fuming!!!

cave that was definitely the case with DCW. I asked him to stop drinking prior to the ivf and he said he'd already cut down and didn't see the point as a couple of pints a day wouldn't make any difference. When I'd cried in private and calmed myself down I managed to explain that it was all about the marginal gains. Things that might make a difference. Given what I was giving up and what I was putting myself through, wouldn't it be sensible to do anything that might make that small difference? And also, wouldn't it be nice for him to make a tiny sacrifice towards trying to make 'our' child, as a show of support if nothing else, given I wasn't drinking?

He went away and thought about it and came back after work and apologised profusely (having spoken to a colleague with some experience of infertility who told him in no uncertain terms he was being bloody unreasonable and needed to apologise to me immediately )

Sorry, that was supposed to be a couple of pints a week! If he'd been drinking every day we'd have been having much stronger words!!!

Thanks Hags, fortunately the specialist and his secretary are amazing so we have just rescheduled. Really what I'm irritated by is that I KNEW this would happen. I've been asking for weeks for details of the appointment and he kept telling me if was all in hand (ahem) we've had some issues lately in relation to me being too forceful in my opinions so I took a step back and trusted he would sort it. Foolish move Blue, never take your eye off the ball (so to speak)

To be honest, I'm kinda feeling a bit whatever about it all now. There is clearly no chance of pregnancy before the end of the year so I may as well just get used to it.

I need a wang. I'm 9dpo and I'm symptom spotting. And considering early pimping at 12dpo.

Nooooooooooooooo!!!!

Don't do it barking, step away from the piss-stick.

(That's my advice anyway, but what the hell do I know - a smarter Hag than me will be along soon )

Ha, I must be a patient old Hag, I'm not even that mad at him anymore. Thing is, it took me 2 years to get the first spaff test. As long as this delay only takes 1 month I can handle it

¨is MrBlue still alive or have you dug up the patio? ¨

Ha ha ha ha!!

Bloods done, we will find out more end of the month. We could be looking into IVF-ing end of November!!!

(drinks all the process and gin in the meantime, for dutch courage like, before entering the ¨my body is my temple¨phase next month)

Does this mean I have to stop eating white baguettes with milk chocolate????

Now I want baguette with chocolate ....

I had my bloods done last week Erica, if only the NHS worked as quickly as I needed we could have been cycle buddies

Drinks all the process? I meant all the prosecco, obviously!

Maybe we will Blue. We are going private but I guess a lot will depend on the bloods, testing for reasons for rmc. I am not sure what the possible outcomes or treatment to those outcomes are and I will try to not think about it for now!

Barking Put those sticks down, woman! When is the official testing day?