The BESH are cheating on Luck with Irony, all Hags aboard for the ironiclusterdiff of the decade (for the B's and the none B's!)

[Blue2014]

You know the drill by now ...

Rules of Entry - must be over 30, TTC no. 1 for over a year, be suitably evil and Hag like, willing to shout Cunt at the moon on regular occasions, consume extra gin when our fellow hags are unable to, and to get the nipple tassles out for any successful Hag ...

No admittance without a complete BESHtionnaire - see below.

How lovely would it be just to be able to enjoy a pregnancy, hey?

I'm also sticking around. Am about to book for the harmony scan next week when I'll be 10 weeks 1 day. The clinic say that's fine and not too early. I'm not sure, I would wait but I go on hols a couple of weeks after and would like my results before the day I fly out!
That holiday will also be my 2 year anniversary of being a BESH!

Hi Icy, i lurked a little on your other thread hope all is going ok

-waves at Erica and Coop-

10 weeks is the optimum time for the first scan - you should be booked in for a follow up 2 weeks afterwards when they will have the results of your blood test and do a seriously thorough scan and measure everything which is much more thorough than any that the NHS will give you.

Barking you are further on than you have ever been at this moment right? That's an amazing thing in itself. I think I struggled to breathe through until after the 2nd harmony scan. Then it finally started to get easier.

Do they? They never mentioned the second scan and I'll be away 2 weeks after the first? I'll email them

So pleased for you barking

How you doing blue?

Think I'll have to find myself another thread to lurk on!

Ah no my apols I had the nuchal scan as well as part of a deal. Come over to the PESH and I'll tell you more.

We're still here for you coop

HAGS!

I had ishoos with my password, I am back now.

Barking Best news ever, and such a milestone!
Blue hope you get your next scan sorted (and that it is a good one too, obvs!)

I would love to join you both in the constate state of anxiety, at least I would be in good company .

Currently, in theory, in the 2ww BUT I think Mr Erica's work travel has screwed (HA HA!) our chances this month but I don't use OPKs anymore so I cannot be 100% sure. Hey, why would I miss a chance of being disappointed with the droid shows up??

Then we have a couple of months before IVF time, currently set to start circa first week of July ... we are still waiting for a couple of results, to check if there could be an infection/abnormality in the endometrium/womb etc but looks like worst case scenario would be antibiotics before we start.

I got super pissed off a couple a days ago when they announced a "follow Samantha through her 9 months of pregnancy" reality show on Spanish tv. Like, proper fuming. What the fuck, can I not even turn to crap TV these days? Turns out that it took said Samantha 4 years to conceive, she had the pregnancy from hell and the programme follows couples that have babies the non-traditional way, complicated pregnancies/decisions etc... so maybe it is ok. I am not going to watch it (Samantha has twins now, bit too much for me) but I think it is pretty cool that "alternative" ways of conceiving/parenting gets some prime time on TV.

Hello! Yes, come join the anxiety!

Sounds like you have a good plan together and July sounds good - how you feeling about it?

TV programme sounds good although I have to ask how you ended up watching it when you first thought it was awful sound like my "one born every minute" torture

Ha ha! Did not watch it, Blue, I read an article on it (I was ready to hate-read, if you see what I mean) and ended up finding out it is not the cheese fest I was expecting... Still, not mentally ready to watch the happy story of this lady having boy and girl twins (now, if she was a BESH...)

I feel ok about July. Sort of... "This won't work for us" but we need to try at least before we can move on... Does that make sense? I hope a negative mindset won't affect the result but the idea of getting pg and not mc-ing seems completely alien to me, and Mr Erica I think.

Oh yeah I hate read too! For some reason I don't hate watch but i definitely hate read

I honestly believed IVF wouldn't work for me either and you know I'm still terrified it won't I needed to believe that to protect myself so I don't think not believing has any influence on what happens

I'm sad that I've told my mum. She's so excited - there is no consideration of this going wrong from her point of view and I can't take it, I'm actually going insane from worrying about it all the time and not even worrying about what will happen to me if it doesn't work out but instead worrying that I will break her heart. I wish I had waited to tell her. And I can't stop googling bad things.

I went to a memorial service relating to my dad last week. And they talked about trying to be grateful for what we have when we have it and I want to be grateful for this. I really do, and I am, but I can't find the peace to settle myself to be in the moment. I'm scared all the time that it's going wrong and it's impacting how I'm functioning now. I'm struggling to engage in conversation with people because it's all I can think about, I'm having nightmares, I'm frequently on the verge of tears.

I'm sorry Hags, I realise this must partly be annoying for you because I know this is harder for you having already experienced the losses. I'm just going crazy bonkers and had to get it out. Harmony test is booked for Thursday evening when we get another scan - it's just waiting til then I suppose

Oh *Blue! Poor you! I completely understand how you feel (and do not remotely feel annoyed).

Unfortunately, when one has gone through all the crap us BESH hd the misfortune to go through to get diffed, it is really hard to enjoy it (HA HA HA HAH HA!) and don't feel like you are going to have an anxiety attack every 10 minutes.

All I can suggest is that you accept that the next few weeks will very very hard and in the meantime, try to be kind to yourself and keep yourself busy. I understand that you cannot concentrate on conversations etc but I would say, try. See friends for coffee (even if you really don't feel like it), try watching movies, reading books, hang out with your mum... and time will go by and chances are all will be well.

I know it is not for everyone but mediation really helped me. Circle and Bloom have some really good ones, I have a discount voucher somewhere I can give to you.

Thank you, I honestly mean it I will consider some mindfulness meditation. I cried and cried and cried to Mr B yesterday, I've been trying to be a chirpy happy diffed wife and hiding it all from him but he was very nice and looked after me so I'm feeling a little better.

How're you?

Hey Blue - glad to hear that the crying and getting some TLC from Mr Blue helped. Only two days for the next scan now. You got this, hag!

I am fine. I seem to have got my hopes up for a BFP this month (I know )... perhaps reading too much into having lots of CM (chatty!!)... but hey, I am negative and doomy 95% of the time and trying-not-too-jinx-things has not worked so maybe feeling a bit "why not me" will not kill me either. We will see.

That said, I feel a bit apprehensive about TTCing before IVF, in case we have a "our genes do not mix well" case and we need the PGD to make things work... BUT, imagine that we get a "natural" BFP" and I can save myself all those injections! And the cash! Tricky.

blue when is your scan? Tomorrow? Everything crossed it gives you some reassurance xx.

erica we're waiting for you lady .

I know!! I need to join you in PESH! I cannot be left going hag-mental alone!

It would be so fucking nice to get a BFP this month... (as if I needed to clarify that)... then I would not be super behind you guys and we could be crazy together. There is a distinctive lack of crazy hang people in my life. Sucks!

How are you Barking? When is your next scan? Blue is your scan tomorrow? Are you both ready for the mother of all tantrums when if the droid shows up next week? I have a pg lady to my left at work and another one right behind, nuff already, it's my turn!

Sorry I'm here ... Scan done and all ok measuring exactly on target at 10+1. The lady said "so you can be less anxious now" - I just looked at her and she said "that's not going to happen til you have a baby in your arms is it?" NOPE! Still it's a start

Only briefly popped on so will be back tomorrow.

Yes Erica, no hag left behind!! We are with you my love hag!

Barking hope all is well

Got to rush off - back tomorrow

Oops that's me below!

Great news, Double Agent Blue!

Morning hags,

CD 26 and the pre-droid spotting has started, out again this month... Bit dissapointed because I allowed myself to get all hopeful and shit but what can you do? It's the hag life.

Hope you are well and enjoying the week end!

Sorry to hear that Erica, hope is a fucker but it would have been nice for one of us to get an ironidifff because my thread title is currently daft. I stand by the clusterdiff though, fab, and bad and fizz had several months between their diffments but it doesn't seem such a big difference on the end so we can still all clusterdiff together

Oh and I had only had the other user name for 3 days, I'm awful at being a double agent!

Argh. The results of the harmony test are sitting in my email box but I don't want to read them without Mr B by my side. Which means I now have to wait another 7 hours to do so

Oh bollocks, that post is me again. Rubbish double agent blue!