The BESH are cheating on Luck with Irony, all Hags aboard for the ironiclusterdiff of the decade (for the B's and the none B's!)

[Blue2014]

You know the drill by now ...

Rules of Entry - must be over 30, TTC no. 1 for over a year, be suitably evil and Hag like, willing to shout Cunt at the moon on regular occasions, consume extra gin when our fellow hags are unable to, and to get the nipple tassles out for any successful Hag ...

No admittance without a complete BESHtionnaire - see below.

Bugger, you fell off my Active threads. I'll have to catch up.

I've had my first blood test and next one is in 2 weeks. Then it's a cervical swab (joy!) and finally our referral can be sent off.

Phew another day over with. Tiring week. Been looking into sleep and the impact a bad night's sleep has on your skin - scary. It's like giving up/cutting back on booze: the different in skin is so incredible it then makes me think "shit, what about my other organs!"

bad lovely news! It's nice to see a forum where someone has pregnancy news/updates where I read them and don't think "oh FUCK OFF GLOATING" which is my reaction now to any "ttc 1st time bd poas bfp baby fucking dust and glitter" fred I see. Fucking nauseating. Speaking of nausea I hope your pregnancy is going well and you're feeling good & strong :-)

rain the drilling is a keyhole laparoscopy, they took a electric/laser thing and blasted holes through the thick crust of cysts on my ovaries. When I was a kid my mum had it a few times to remove apple sized cysts off hers, so I've grown up always understanding the procedure!
How was your IVF appointment? Did they give you all the drugs there and then to take home with you? Do you have to have a practice stab before they let you loose?

erica, blue you can share my hope [doles hope out of handbag] - here! Take it... Go on go on go on...

Any update from barking? Where are you at in the cycle?

Back to using the ridiculously spendy clearblue purple ovulation pissticks; day 10 yesterday - empty circle, day 11 today - solid smiley. Oh, right so we're here again with my bollocks PCOS causing mayhem. "Luckily" I now have so many of the reader things I'll be pissing on another 45p stick tomorrow and I daresay it'll be back to O again. I left that operation feeling all high and positive - endo cleared away, ovaries punctures, tube opened, (proper, normal, healthy) period 2 days later and now back to this bollocks. So I'm giving up any expectation that when I inevitably take a test on days 13, 14, 15 and 16 (because period will be late to fuck with me) it'll be anything but a negative. Just going to save my cash up like a maniac until October when I'll probably be meeting the doc and checking onto the IVF rollercoaster. FUUUUUUUCK this is such a shit existence.

I'm here icy, just haven't posted as haven't had time to respond to everyone properly - will catch up tomorrow! I'm around cd8, first scan to see what's happening is next weds.

Pcos sounds like a bitch Icy.

Well we have missed another month because neither of us can bare to sex. Seriously now hags, I need some fish slaps here, this is now 3 months in a row. My ironidiff would literally have to be biblical because I currently haven't had any spaff in me for 3 months. I literally have no hope for a natural conception at all now, I give up! Gonna book for the Czech clinic ASAP. This is a fucking farce!! I'm so so so SO sick of this shit (and sick of him taking a back seat in it . I've shared my ovulation calendar him, take charge man, I'm sick of doing it on my own!)

icy, to be perfectly honest ovulation tests are very tricky to use with PCOS. The hormone levels are all over the shop so the tests struggle to pick the LH surge.

I tried them for a while but they were useless.

Blue the lack of sex is a common side effect of TTC. We've gone through similar phases, all too frequently. All I can suggest is going back to basics: try to instigate sex outside of your fertile time - some blokes can feel like sperm donors so can feel unloved (diddums, try having a ultrasound up your foof!".

Cave I think you're right. My consultant said to use them, so I guess I'll struggle on with them and have a safety shag every time it looks a bit positive.

You're also right about being able to muster the spirit to have a ttc shag. I find it much easier to just have lovely normal sex - and in order to stop him feeling like a sperm donor I ensure we're having sex about 3 times a week. Even if its true last thing I can be arsed to do.

Blue I've tried to tell him when we need to shag, but it sometimes backfires. I got a positive ovulation stick one morning but by that evening we'd had our worst row in months. We're really good at having our arguments in bed when we're both exhausted. Still had sex (he was the one who said "well we have to, don't we" - It was just horrible at first. Actually, I did manage an orgasm so can't have been that bad! Still, not afvisable). But I find it much easier if he doesn't know until after the event if it's a ttc shag. Relieves the pressure. Once he just couldn't do it so I got him to wank into a pot and I used a syringe. That didn't work either.

Met a colleague on the tube this morning - ugh bad enough, but he somehow got onto telling me about his house where he moved last year apparently they outgrew their first house almost as soon as they moved in "the day we exchanged we found out my wife was pregnant" and apparently they had another kid in quick succession. Fuck me universe, what have I done to deserve this shit at 8.15?!! The universe made me a hag and now it's running my hag nose in it.

bad yay for badlet! (Or should I say badlette!). I can imagine wanting to keep being pg to myself for quite a while if we ever get there again. I'm sure you'll feel ready to share soon tho. One foot in front of the other hag!

cave glad things are moving on for you guys. I know Brits are supposed to be good at queuing etc anyway but I swear we all deserve an extra medal for patient waiting skills.

blue I've had more than a few cycles where I've avoided sex, and it nearly always came down to being just sick and tired of always being the one 'organising' it, like some sort of shitty work rota. It was generally easier in the months where we just had regular sex from when my period ended (albeit a lot more tiring!) as it just took the emphasis of ovulation. I hope you can work something out!
Ironically, given we are not allowed to get sexy without precautions this month, I am really in the mood! Thinking about breaking out the shmexy undercrackers and everything!

icy well done for not punching that man in the mouth, or at the very least accidentallyonpurpose stamping on his toe (I have done that to an annoying fellow commuter on the tube once or twice...).

I found myself getting annoyed with Louis Fucking Tomlinson yesterday (and I thought he was gay FFS!). And then also annoyed with George/Amal Clooney who apparently have decided they will have a baby so are visiting fertility clinics and hope to have the baby next year, like it's just a case of going and picking one up when they're ready. Just fuck oooofffffffffffff!

barking when is your first scan? Is it next week?

erica and coop, I hope you're alright hags.

Wotcha hags. I've just done a quick read, fish slaps and gin to all who require.

I've been trying to stay away a bit again as Mr C and I are still a bit rocky and I haven't got the energy. We keep swinging from being ok to arguing over absolutely fuck all and it's really getting to me. We weren't like this this time last year I think we need to go for couples counselling honestly, he's a man though, wot doesn't talk about his feelings. So can't imagine that suggestion going over very well.

Plus I had a job interview this week which I'd expected to have heard about by today, called them and they said I'd know by Monday. I want to know now! Ruining my weekend... Grumble.

Sorry for the me post, I'll catch up with you all properly over the weekend.

Thanks for the reassurance Hags, I know its normal stuff after all this time but its become such a chore. We arent and never will be a "lets just shag every few days" kind of couple (equally his choice) so we HAVE to force it, we cant just hope it will happen by accident. Honestly, I have just actually had enough, I'm not trying for a natural conception anymore, bring on the fucking IVF.

Coop, sorry to hear of the relationship woes. We've actually really struggled this last year too, which is completely unlike us. Ive always said that we are the happiest couple Ive ever known but things just went wrong. Honestly, I'll step in with advice even if its not wanted! If you feel you can I would put the TTC to the side for 2 months and invest the time getting back to being the two of you, happy again. We let it slide for far too long until it was at risk of becoming a serious problem. We stopped everything for a bit and am relieved to say we are back to 'us' again (even with the no TTC shag month!) Gin up, Hag (that's like Chin up, but I BESHly version!)

Oh and Rain, I got the exact same anger for the same people, seriously Louis??! I was also mad at George and Amal but then wondered ... maybe she is secretly a BESH, she would be a good BESH right?? Maybe they have already been trying and the clinic was actually first round of tests

Amal would be a great BESH.

Am having a complete nightmare - one of my cats has upped and disappeared. Been looking, done posters... She'd lost her collar last week and someone found it and dropped it round this morning. It's ridiculous as she'd lost the collar before going missing, but getting it back was like confirmation she's gone. Hoping against hope she's found and someone drops her off at the vet. My other little cat, who has been with her since they were both kittens, has been having a load of diarrhoea so is clearly stressed as fuck too. Horrible shittiest weekend.

Oh icy, lots pets are absolutely heartbreaking. Here is hoping kitty has gone partying and will be back soon

icy I hope icycat is back safe and sound soon. we have two, and its not at all uncommon for one of them to go awol when the weather gets warm, it's like he feels closer to his lager feline brethren when the grass gets a bit Serengeti like. Horribly stressful tho when you don't know where they could be.

I think Amal (my phone really wants to call her something much less kind) could make a good BESH, if she doesn't instadiff.

Got to tell my boss about the upcoming treatment today, wish me luck!!

Good luck rain!

Icycat is home! Elderly neighbour spotted her in her garden. I was in a nearby street when I got the call in my work suit, Mac and trainers. Ran home along the main road like the most inappropriately dressed jogger ever, got to her garden spotted the cat and grabbed her. Hags, I wept. My neighbour is in her 80s and seriously have thought "I've lived through a war. This girl needs to get a grip" but I wept and wept. Feel like what with the operation and all the barren shit and starting a new job and then weekend of worry - I've just become a crying machine. I feel like I have tears constantly bubbling under my eyes and only the littlest thing will set me off.

Anyway all a well that ends well. Darling sweetie cat has been renamed darling sweetie little shit and I spend all day looking forward to getting home to see the two of them.

Rain - how did the conversation go?

Icy such a relief!! I am such an emotional wreck when it comes to anything involving my dog, I totally get the tears!

Cooper any news on the job?

Blue ttc kills sex lives, it's shit.

rain I've no idea who Louis Tomlinson is... should I?

First scan tomorrow (well, today). DH leaves at 4am. I've just woken up from a nightmare where someone shot me .

Oh no barking, my dreams are affected when I'm stressing about something too. Good luck later
And Louis Tomlinson is one of the one direction members

Glad you found your cat icy

rain, how'd your talk with your boss go?

Thanks for the gin and pep talk blue

Hope you're ok cave and erica

I rang the woman I initially saw at the interview before I did the aptitude tests etc, and was then interviewed by a director. When I told her who I'd seen she was like wtf, he's not the person who should've done it, you need to see Mr X. So I've got to go back in.

coop how stressful, I hope they can see you again quickly, interview stress is no fun.

icy so glad icycat is home safe and sound. These bloody mogs don't realise the panic they cause. I'm sure she was having a grand old time whatever she was up to, naughty cat.

barking GOOD LUCK! dream sounds scary, no doubt just your minds way of processing everything.

Chat with the boss went well, he was very kind and supportive, even if he was pretty awkward while I sat there blubbing before I'd even said anything!!! Seriously, I am a horrible cryer, I think because I keep everything quite buttoned up in public, when I do cry it's that awful ugly, tight throat crying where I can't talk till I've stopped. So embarrassing (and all our meeting rooms have glass walls!)
Anyway, I just need to let him know the dates when they're more certain and he'll book me off. Luckily all my scans are at 7:15am (nabbed those slots quickly!) so I should get in to work normalish time.

coop inspiring confidence in the company then?!

rain when are you likely to start?

Stood queuing at the fertility clinic again until they open the doors at 8...

Yeah I know barking...
How'd it go yesterday?

I can't understand why your clinic doesn't do appointments for scans? it's not like they're some trendy 'no reservations' restaurant trying to build hype by having a massive queue. craziness. hope you're not waiting too long!

I'm long protocol, so I start stabbing next Friday, baseline scan should be Aug 12 then two weeks of stims and bum bullets, EC on the 26th and ET on the bank holiday Monday if all goes to plan!

Feeling annoyed with RAF today, he's planned a work night out tomorrow and I reminded him he's not supposed to be drinking. He got all glum faced and said he wouldn't go like a petulant child, to which I replied of course you can go, just don't drink. He then let me know last night that his compromise is to not drink the rest of the week
I am so pissed off, he's seen everything I have to go through now - all I've asked of him is to not drink more than one or two now and then for a month or so and he can't even do that.

rain that's rubbish I don't know what it is with them, I've had that talk with MrC a couple of times, who says "how much of a difference can it make as long as I'm not wasted?"
I think they genuinely believe it's ok though...

¨ it's not like they're some trendy 'no reservations' restaurant trying to build hype by having a massive queue. craziness.¨

Laughing so much at this Rain.

Hags, I have not gone away and I am thinking of you al (spesh Rain and Barking) but there is just nothing going on for me. However, I am starting to think about getting back on it after the summer. I just needed a break.

Sorry about the attitude of some of the Mr Besh not being great. Mr Erica will be the same I think, I just plan to ask the consultant outright in front of him if or when the time comes...

rain I feel your pain, I've been there with DCW. It wasn't until I pointed out that it was as much to do with solidarity and showing support as it was about the actual alcohol, given everything I had had to give up and do to my body, that he changed his attitude and apologised. I pointed out that everything I was doing with the wheat free, the woo needles, the vitamins, the quitting exercise around ivf etc etc was all about marginal gains - given what I was putting myself through it was worth trying everything that might possibly make a difference, however small or unproven. And him staying off the booze was the only thing I'd asked him to do - and it was recommended advice - and I shouldn't have had to ask at all anyway, he should want to do anything he could!!!

Good luck, hope he changes his attitude .

My clinic does bloods and scans every morning from 8-9.30. It's first come, first served. I can see that seeing everyone in order as they wait is the most efficient way of getting through everyone, and they can't predict how long each scan or blood test will take (and as you have both, by different nurses, they'd have a knock on effect, especially as sometimes you don't even know if you need a blood test until you've had your scan).

Did my first injection tonight. Blood test this morning showed that I had made little progress since yesterday, despite showing a follicle on the scan at 17 and expecting to ovulate naturally. The nurse said that the levels were rising very very slowly and I wasn't going to ovulate therefore would need to take the injection tonight. I'm now wondering if this is what happens every cycle - the follicle grows to size then everything slows down and it just sits there while my body attempts to ovulate. This, combined with the 7 day LP the other side would obviously be very unhelpful in terms of trying to get pregnant and also indicate that it's not just my LP that is a problem.

Anyway, that means that embryo transfer will be next Thursday, and the day of reckoning will be Saturday 8th August. At least that's not a working day so I won't have to get the news then go into the office. There was a bit of confusion with the fragmin. Despite what I was told yesterday I was told today that I shouldn't take it until embryo transfer, the same time as I start taking the progesterone. Apparently the effects only last 24 hours so before the embryo is there is nothing for it to do.

I've got to wait for a phone call from the embryologist next Thursday and she will tell me whether the embryo has survived the thaw and what time I need to be at the hospital. My lovely acupuncturist has told me to text her as soon as I know and she will make sure she gets an appointment booked for me afterwards.