The BESH are cheating on Luck with Irony, all Hags aboard for the ironiclusterdiff of the decade (for the B's and the none B's!)

[Blue2014]

You know the drill by now ...

Rules of Entry - must be over 30, TTC no. 1 for over a year, be suitably evil and Hag like, willing to shout Cunt at the moon on regular occasions, consume extra gin when our fellow hags are unable to, and to get the nipple tassles out for any successful Hag ...

No admittance without a complete BESHtionnaire - see below.

Thanks Barking.

I think the chances of me feeling really rough are quite low, in previous pregnancies, I only started feeling rough around week 6, and if this was to happen, I would get a BFP a couple of days into the trip and going home 4 days later (that is, if my cycle is 100% regular for the next 4 months and the treatment goes according to plan ).

Re: the other couple. They are very good friends so we would tell them what was going on, I just worry about going mental if I get a BFN and she is pg but I then I have been in similar situations before (not IVF but you know what I mean) and survived so I will have to risk it... and she is truly lovely and going through the same so at least no danger of dick-ish comments.

Friday, arrive already!!

Oh and re: doing it alone. Mr Erica will not be around the whole cycle but definitely between getting the eggs out (keep forgetting the technical term) and transfer. You hags may have to put up with me the rest of the time!

Yay for the begone tissue of doom! That's excellent news. I second the holiday, all they suggested to me was that I take it a little easier for 2 days post transfer but you'll have passed that time by then anyway. And I'm happy to be around during IVF time while Mr E is away

Barking - why haven't we Hags had that evil genius idea before! Sneaking birth control pills to people. Fuck, that a brilliant idea, I'm not sure where you are seeing the crazy ...

Am wishing Friday comes very fast for you too (and also for me, I'm still crazy so Mr B has agreed we can go for a reassurance scan after 9 weeks which will be after next Tuesday) in fact - I'd really just like the whole of the year to go really fast for us. Everything crossed for you Hag

glad to hear some good news erica :)

how are you doing barking and blue?

I'm so unbelievably fucked off. I'm seriously considering quitting the whole thing. It shouldn't be this hard, I'm getting really bitter, not just BESH-bitter but actual, real life bitter.

I've been in a job I hate for way longer than I should have, but my reasoning was that once I got pregnant I'd find something new after maternity leave and not go back. That thought process was FOUR YEARS AGO.

I'm so sick of everything hags, I don't even know if I want a baby anymore. And even though I think that's just a shitty self-protecting defence thing, I'm starting to doubt myself.
Fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

Hey Coop,

Sorr you are feeling crap. I also wonder sometime if I want this so badly that it's worth "ruining" four years of my life... It sucks and it's unfair and it will never be ok that we have to go through so much heartache.

The job situation is a very tricky one. What are your plans? Are you giving yourself some sort of deadline? (Not saying this is a good idea).

Sole of solidarity for you, hag.

Blue you are not crazy, you are completely normal :)

Hey Coop, it's lovely to hear from you (which I know sounds awful considering how sad you are but still it's nice to have you here)

I'm so sorry it's so shit. I also spent some time wondering if I should just give it all up. I really don't think there is an easy solution . And don't ever worry about being too bitter for the BESH - this just isn't humanly possible. We are here for you Hag

thanks hags. sigh.

I just need to get out of my job erica. let's be fair, it's not like I'm going to get pregnant naturally at this point, so that's not really a worry, it's just that if it does come down to IVF I'll have to postpone it.

I think I'll be in a completely different mindset once I get something else, it's just difficult because I want a complete career change and it's so hard to even get an interview!

how are you blue? It's gotten so quiet in here, only seems to be the four of us left...

Coop I know what you mean. When I took my current job, a few months after my first mc, I thought it would be a short thing until I got pg and had a baby It has been 3.5 years now and while I like my job, all career decisions have taken a back seat because all big decisions have been based on the baby making, the failed baby making, that is.

My mentor has been telling me I need to start thinking about what I want because I am not growing in this role but what can I do? TTC wise, I am not willing to postpone it.

coop good to see you.
I quit teaching just before my second mc (was about to do iui, didn't know the result before I handed in my notice). It was mainly a ttc decision, as I couldn't cope with balancing anymore fertility appointments with the classroom. I also thought thought through reduction in stress would help. That was two years ago though, and I've spent the last couple of months looking at teaching jobs coming up as I miss it so much.
I don't hate my current job, and I'm doing well, it's just that I left the classroom because of baby shit, not because I was desperate to leave, so I don't feel like it was on my terms if that makes any sense? Which it clearly doesn't as no-one forced me to leave and get a new job.

If there are any job opportunities going, jump at them and have a go. You'd only need to delay ivf if it was a tactical decision due to enhanced maternity pay kicking in after x months of employment. I'd only get smp in my current job so it wouldn't have mattered. Unlike teaching which has great maternity pay. I'm not bitter at all

I know, it is quiet isn't it, it's a shame. I love the BESH.

Looking for a new job sounds like a good plan, it's so hard when you are unhappy at work and home.

I'm ok absolutely mental thanks

Barking, I may not get chance to log on in the morning so grabbing hold of your toe now in a crazy lady toe hold for tomorrow

We are all rooting for you Barking.

Thanks hags.
I'm absolutely terrified, and the fear gets worse the closer to 4pm I get.... I brought the dog to work with me today (he's chilling in the camper van while I'm in the office) so I've just taken him for a walk and now I'm just chilling with him in the camper for 10 minutes before lunch is over and I have to go back to my desk.

Oh my god, 4pm?! Are they just torturing you? Thinking of you muchly. Yay for the company of BarkingDog

All good. Measuring 8+1 and with a heart beat .

Yes!!!!!!!!! Well done barkingbean

It's official then - barking and blue is definitely diffed!

YAY!!!!! amazing news hags!

Ah thanks CRESH

am very excited about barkingbean.

As for me, I'm far too anxious for it all so am staying a BESH until I have a baby in my arms!

It will get easier. I found i was able to relax much more once I got past the 12 week milestone and definitely once I began to show. I had to have weekly dopplers to monitor Fablet's heart from 18 weeks which was phenomenally comforting.

Thanks Fab

Still being a lurkio - so pleased blue and barking :-)

I'm still shitting myself. Every day. Why would it work 4th time? Wishing away the days....
Booked a harmony scan so we can get more tests to hopefully put my mind at rest ha ha. That's not until 18th May though.
I thought the scan would help but it just feels like we've got more to lose now as we've not got this far.
DCW is also terrified. It's like the proverbial white elephant in the the room that we are both pretending isn't there.

Anyway, I'm going to lurk until erica gets a bfp and joins us in our state of constant anxiety .

How many weeks will you be on 18th?

10+5 if we get that far.