Positive Decembr - All aboard for Santa to bring a BFP!!

[MrsMcJnr]

Well, I thouht I'd better start this thread as I am CD1 of my 6th cycle of trying for our very precious first baby. This is going to be a lucky and positive thread, I can feel it so I'm laying down the babydust now so that as you join me, you can collect your dose .

For those who join me, what are you doing differently this cycle?

Ok... I didn't expect to read that are you seriously self inseminating?? Not judging or anything, so please don't think I am!! Just curious really as to how you would do that? I don't think that it is something I could ever do myself (although depends how long we are TTC for I s'pose) but it's a fascinating topic of discussion?

Yes, we really are you just need a pot and syringe. What else do you want to know? Don't be shy!

At the risk of being overly rude and possibly insulting... sorry if you think I am.

Why are you doing it this way???

No worries Ready. Because we're gay, so no matter how much we bd it's just not going to happen!

It's been a big roller coaster of a ride. Shall I launch into my story? I don't really want to do my work anyway!

Tee hee impatience!!! I had no idea you were gay! Well, then self insemination is definitely the way to go for you guys!! I would love to hear your story!

Ready - I promise to send you plenty more karma for Christmas. She says freaking out as bloody wedding photographer (who is in Spain) has sent me a blank disc instead of the jpegs that I paid £25 each for. Sure he'll re-send them but I'd wanted to get photos printed to put in frames for my grandparents to send down South next weekend and now I'll have to pay for postage ggggggrrrr!

Thanks for everyone's advice on DH's op. I can't bear the thought of anyone cutting into his lovely body or him being in hospital away from me but I also hate that he is in pain so I must be strong. We are going to pursue all options before going for the op.

Oh Ready - be bossy with your MIL for a change and suggest she gets the crackers from

here

delicious, we got them last year and they were lovely but

I'm getting this one this year!

Hello Geek your DH's place sounds lovely. Hope you manage to stay chilled out. Just remember the smell of the leaves!

Impatience - it might come to that. Can I second ready's question? sorry for being so nosey

oooh MrsMc - Those crackers look divine! I hate those saaaaaad cabaret jokes and pieces of plastic tat in regular crackers... I might just have to strongly suggest those!! There is a hotelchocolat near her aswell I think!!! It must be me, but can't seem to decipher what you are getting this year, as the link takes me to the default page each time. darn.

Sorry to hear about your wedding pics... They will make wonderful gifts I am sure!! I bet you looked stunning!!!

Right then. Are you sitting comfortably?

Actually I'll try not to go on and on and on!

We both always wanted children, and both always assumed that we would meet wonderful men, get married/settled/generally instated, then just have lots of lovely sex till having beautiful happy children. So when my wonderful beautiful dp and I got together we were both really upset that having children might not happen, and if it did we had no idea how and that it might be really very difficult. It was a really big deal for both of us, and when we'd only been together for about a fortnight and I just knew I wanted to be with her forever (I just knew!) I watched her sleeping and had a huge cry because I knew I could never mix myself with her and create new life that would exist and pass on as a quiet note in history of our wonderful relationship

Forgive me if I get too flowery

Then the years went by and we knew that we would make it happen by whatever means, and we finally got the financial security and stability to go for it. We decided that we would go via a clinic, for anonymous donor, because we wanted our family to be just us. I went first, had a couple of IUI treatments, which didn't work. And then the anonymity rules changed and we ended up not getting any more treatments.

This was gutting, so we had to reevaluate, and approached friends of ours who said Yes. We were really lucky. We'd read a lot of scare stories about people who'd used known donors and it ending up tricky in all sorts of ways, but we had big chats, and just knew (again, we just KNEW) that it would be OK. And it has been perfect.

So I did a few months, to no avail. By this point I was a complete bundle of stress and felt I was going to pop so suggested dp have a go. B*tch: she conceived first time And now we have our wonderful, beautiful happy ds, and it's truly great.

But I have been trying again for no2 for over a year, with nothing happening at all. It's been really hard - as you all know - although I do appreciate that I have ds and that's great. I've been through the really bad stuff about not conceiving, which you all know so don't need to elaborate. But I think what's changing now is that the older ds gets the less it matters that I wasn't pregnant with him, give birth to him, have those early months where only I could give him what he really needed: He is definately my son.

We are very happy (though also tired, busy, stressed etc) and love our little family. So perhaps the pressure is easing off us now. It really wouldn't be the end of the world if I didn't concieve and dp had to have all our babies, or if we didn't have any more. I think this is why I feel calmer this month. I'm lucky to have a back-up womb in my relationship !

Oh Impatience - your lovely story has made me cry You are so brave and you have both clearly been through so much. I have a very close relative that has loved and lost because she could not reconcile herself to the fact that she might not have kids. She has suffered for years in relationships with men that just didn't feel right because she thought she had to do that to have a family. Now at 35, I think she is beginning to accept that you just cannot make yourself feel what you don't. Huge hugs to you. I really hope that you fall soon and I'll be seeking you out for top turkey baster tricks if I don't fall before DH gets his op!

Impatience!! You can be as flowery as you like!! I was really moved by you crying at the thought of not being able to "mix"... I had never thought about that. ((hugs))

How wonderful that you have been able to have DS. I really hope that you will get to experience pregnancy and labour. I truly can't wait for that (yes, we must be mad huh!).

Like you say, you have a back up womb . Would it be possible to use one of your eggs, get it fertilised and have your DP carry it?? Then it would be your genes?? I don't know what the laws are on surrogacy?

fingers crossed for you.

Sorry Ready, I thought my links were working for a change today too.

Here it is - the big cracker!

(salivating as I type!)

Hey MrsMc and Ready: thanks for the kind feelings!

MrsMc, I'm sorry to hear that your friend stuck in relationships that weren't right in order to have a family. I think plenty of truly-straight women do that too, don't they? And men too probably. It's not just about the biology but about the setup for many. But I'm pleased she's finally figuring out what actually does it for her, and lesbians have been having children forever so it really is possible! (And I have the sleep-deprived bags, the messy house and lack of social life to prove it )

xx

Ready: the egg donation idea is possible in this country, I think. But I don't think we'd go down that route: dp has been encouraging me to think about IVF for a while and I don't want to do it. I think she should just do it again and we'll keep it as low-stress as possible. I think we're lucky to have two wombs and should make the most of it!

By the way, she doesn't agree, and this is argument/discussion that we keep having at the moment...

I agree, I have lots of straight friends stuck in relationships for the same reason too. I just count my lucky stars everyday that I have found the person that I so 100% know I want to be with for the rest of my life. I fell in love with him so quickly (literally, bam - a week or so after meeting him) that I never thought it would last but like a wise fortune teller once told me when she knew nothing about me "just because things happen quickly, it doesn't mean they are not for keeps" Just a shame that the nippers aren't arriving as quickly!!

Wow, a week is quick! Congrats on having found eachother I always sneered at love-at-first-sight tales, until I because a soppy sack through falling in love myself

Oooh, love at first sight... how romantic!! DH and I got together when we were 17, and now at 27 I am still head over heels in love. That might sound pathetic to some people. In fact, if I had a £ for every time I was told "once you get married it all goes wrong" or "the spark and chemistry fades" or "marriage is a wate of time" I would be rich. But I am so glad I didn't listen, cos we have been married 2 years (10 years together) and I couldn't be happier!! And as for the spark... that is definitely still there

I am like you MrsMc, I know how lucky I am, and every day I am thankful for it!!

Oh look at us, girls, we are very lucky to have such love Are we being greedy to expect TTC to be easy too?

I do wonder sometimes if I am greedy, expecting to fall straight away. I just find it so unfair when I read about children being abused by their parents... I think why did they fall pregnant. Or really young mothers that don't want to know. I know that not all teenage mothers are like that.

Some days I just think, if we can't have children then I guess that is just our lot. We've got each other and that is the most important thing!!

Cor!!! what an afternoon i missed.

Feel all loved up now

I always thought when i was younger if i was unable to have kids i would never get married or anything, but since i fell in love at 15 and now being 24 even if me and OH don't get to have kids like you lot say we have each other.

.....just need him to marry me, been together 9 years and not even a hint of a ring in sight.

Mrs - Am loving the crackers, very tempting.

Natty have you hinted much??? I went through a stage where I showed DH every engagement ring I like the look of... all the time... then a friend (male) said to me, stop showing him the rings and then he will ask you!! Do you know what, it might be a coincidence, but I thought "ok, I'll stop showing him" and kinda gave up hope of a proposal, and within 6 months he proposed!! It was a lovely shock!

Wow, I can feel the lovely cuddly warm vibes on this thread .

Impatience - what a lovely story, I hope you get your bfp soon.

MrsMc - those crackers sound wonderful, I have to keep myself out of hotel chocolat every time I go into town.

Nothing new to report here, CD13 here, bd cd 7, 9, 11, 12 and plan to keep going to the end of the week if I can manage it (and be bothered ). DP is perfectly aware of my motives for such active bding but is humouring me anyway. I work late mots nights, so it's very late by the time we get round to it and I'm almost looking forward to next week when I can have a good night's sleep

Have to admit, the last couple of nights when I've been raised up on a pillow after the event, I have thought about how many other of my ttc buddies are in a similar position around the country

I have told him that the wedding date is 03.10.10 or 10.10.10 and he has until 2008 to ask me then i will have to consider leaving him. LOL

Impatience - We are the lucky ones feeling the way we do but I don't think it is greedy to want to have a family to share that love with, what could be more natural than that?

Ready - I love being married, it might just be me but I feel much closer to DH now, like I can talk about the future without caveats and also make having a family a reality. I know that many people have that without needing a ceremony of any kind but for us, it was important.

Natty - I was like you, I waited 4 years for the proposal, I know that is only half the time you have waited but as we are older and fell in love and moved in together after 2 months, I did think it would be quicker! . I never hinted or threatened to leave because I wanted the fairytale proposal and I did not want to spoil it for myself. Hope it happens for you really soon

Sideways - lovely cuddly warm vibes are goooooodd . Sounds like you have done really well with the BDing (well, I know you have as I've seen your chart ) Really hope it's a lucky cycle for you.

Think I am going to have problems with DH this cycle. Tried for a CD6 "clear the pipes" BD on Sunday but his heart wasn't in it. Tried again last night and was told he was too tired but he stayed up until 12 doing suduko instead. I know he has a lot on his mind with the impending op and that he is in pain (but only when sitting, not when BDing!) and that he is feeling unattractive but I can't help thinking that if we got our BFP this month, everything would be so much better for us. Cried myself to sleep.

This morning, I put a note in with his lunch asking if we could have more "us" time and that we are coming up to the crucial time and in any event, it would be good for us to get some early nights. I also told him that I was sick of nagging and having to point out that the timing was important and that he was to take the note as being on notice that the next 10 days or so are vital because I will not be nagging him again.

Feel selfish but he wants this baby as much as me and I just can't do it alone!?

Impatience - your issues must be totally different to these, how do you manage timing wise? Sorry if I am asking too much, just curious. I think it is fascinating. Cyber slap me if I am out of line.

MrsMc - lol at clearing the pipes.

Maybe dh feels he is under a lot of pressure with his back and the impending op and bding might make it worse. I know my dp sometimes feels the pressure and that's without a bad back! Maybe he wants to feel well enough to be able to look after you properly and be around for you when you are pregnant.

Hope your not does the trick though and you can at least have a good chat about things later