'TTC after a miscarriage - new thread'

[Janus]

Well tried to add my bit to old thread and we have reached 1000 posts again!!
Chocolatepeanut, am so sorry for what you are going through, although you sound as if you are handling it well so far. Hope things aren't too bad for you in the coming days.
Rubles, sorry if AF does arrive, bloody bitch! My blood tests will be next week. DP sperm test threw up 'abnormal sperm' and he needs to go and discuss with the GP later this week although she did say it wasn't too much to worry about. Been meaning to start a new thread on this but haven't got around to it.
I'm looking for a yoga class to try and help me relax! Do think this whole TTC is stressing me out so much, I'm so conscious of age gaps, both our ages working against us, even worrying about if we do conceive in next couple of months as worked out it would be a July or August baby (my oldest is July born and is struggling bit with school etc). Part of me thinks it may do us all some good if I just stop ttc for a couple of months, then the other half panics about an even bigger gap, etc!!
How on earth do you all manage to relax about all this stuff??

no, got bfp on sun, started spotting on weds, at gps i got bfp but was told it was a threatened mc, just wait. by thurs i was bleeding, so put it down to mc. thought id take a test today as advised by gp, was also still feeling sick, tired, swollen etc and got bfp stronger than weds or suns test.

re quick conception, i dont think there are any physical probs with conceiving so quickly, its more to get yourself up and running. and for dating insist on a scan. make threats.

I should just mention that I was typing on his mobile, not dh

catbabby- tell them!!! just to put your mind at rest.

ammy i had an horrendous pg, pre-eclampsia, irritable uterus etc. anyway at 12w i was in mat clothes, i bled from 5w-16w then from 20w i was having contractions and discharge (group b strep it turns out) at 30w i measured 34w and spoke to my mw about cs, she laughed and told me that shrop hosps dont do elect cs, coz of statistics and labour was called thus coz it was hard work

finally at 38w i had 5+ protein so was admitted and induced, 3 lots of prostin later they broke my waters (had to be done without dh there or id miss my spot) my waters were green. that was at 9am at 6am i passed out and dh got a doc at 9.10 i went down to theatre for a cs. it took 3 men to dislodge ds from my hips (im tiny) my placenta disintigrated and up to 3m later i was back in hosp with uterine group b strep a total of 7 times.

Good grief Lissielou, you had an awful time!
You poor thing.
I will mention what I've said on Tuesday, not looking forward to having scan because I know they'll want to give me the vaginal one, and it was verging on painful last time. One of the things the Sonographer kept saying was "No that's bowel gas... no, more bowel gas, no all I can see is bowel gas." Now I do suffer from IBS, could that have anything to do with it? I should add that to my list of questions!
I was surprised when you said that you had difficulty getting a scan, I took it for granted that you would always get one after a m/c, that's what the people at my EPAC seemd to suggest, but I guess it's the NHS potcode lottery again . You would think that someone who has been what you've been through would get every test under the sun!

(sp) postcode

well yes. it also took 6y ttc with ds,

oh lissie thats horrible. I have group b strep. I had a swab when my daughter was 4 months old and it was there. Don't know what will happen if i get pg again. You deserve to be treated properly after all that. xxxxx

at the time i was too ill to take it further, but nearly died and the back of ds's head was purple, he had a ridge all the way round still has

Morning

Lots going on here, since i last spoke.

My dramas, are over in a good way, baby still measuring correct size and bouncing like crazy. had a little trouble trying to get position for test (apparently i have a reverted uteurus), ended up with three sonographers and countless trips to loo, for emptying and filling of bladder, but all seems ok.

Lissie- so sorry for your dramas and I pray it will all be good news again, what a dilema, to be unsure again. I have always been told to wait one week post bleeding before testing as hormones can stay around, If you tested after not going to the toilet for a while hormones would be stronger, maybee at dr's you had been more recently. Did you pass alot of geyish matter and or clots? that would indicate complete m/c?
But we hope maybe it was a twin pg, hang in there best wishes and take care.

Catbaby, lets hope for good news, maybe you should test in the morning with early test and first morning wee, i imagine if you are sick already you could have strong hormones.But yes doesn't hurt to mention it at scan. good luck.

Thanks again everyone for the wishes and prayers, I have found so much support here. You all really understand. Can't wait till you all graduate

look keeps getting stronger.

no, havent passed any clots, tiny bit of tissue, bleeding wasnt as heavy as my prev 3 mcs either

Lissie - So could be severe implantation bleeding? You mentioned you'd had bad bleeds when pg with your ds? Or maybe it was twins and you've lost one?
Don't want to get your hopes up, hun, but it probably would be an idea to speak to your GP or your local Early Pregnancy Assessment Unit and ask them.

UKI - ooh lovely news on your little bean, sounds like it's full of energy

As for me, no, not going to test today. I will wait until tomorrow as I think I'll be tested then anyway. Waste of a test anyway. Think I may have got my hopes up over nothing. When I was at Church, we had a new member of the congregation, little Oliver who was only a couple of weeks old. I nearly burst into tears when I saw him, I want a baby so bad

waiting for docs to open up

Well - been to doctor's, but all she'll do is refer me for dating scan, which she will try and get before 12 weeks, but is generally done around then. I don't want to wait another 7 weeks, not knowing - I want to have a scan in the next couple of weeks to reassure me everything is ok. She said it was nothing to do wtih her and she would put down that I'd had 2 miscarriages and they may see me sooner.

I even told her, I had some spotting on Saturday, but that didn't seem to make any difference. I suppose I just have to stay calm, relax and keep on knicker-watch for the next 2 months.

hope everyone else is ok today?

x

Can't believe how much has been going on over the weekend! It's taken me a while to catch up. Fingers crossed for Lissie...

Good to hear some positive news from Uki!! Very exciting for you...

Fettle - can you (afford to) get a scan done privately if they won't give you an early scan on the NHS?

My sister lit some candles for me at her Church on the way home on Friday which made me feel much better. I think it's good just to mark what happened last year and I feel much better as a result...

Cazzy - I know how you feel. I was in tears on Xmas Day when my first af after the m/c arrived. It's just a horrible confirmation of what you already know... But at least you will know your dates for certain if you do fall pg this next month!

Oh fettle,
bloody rubbish gp's, I almost blame my last gp for m/c as she did the same as yours, but if she'd read that study i posted she would know we need TLC and reasurrance. TMI comming up but I ended carrying dead baby for over 5 weeks, coz i didn't have early scan.

I guess your other option is to pay for a private scan, but maybe the hospital is more understanging than gp.

I now see an obsetrician/ gynacologist who's qualifications fill up business card. He is fantastic and has me on the extra asprin and calcium and has sent me for coutless extra tests. It feels great to have that care. The weird thing is I live in the country now, so you'd expect worse care being a small town and all.
Sorry if I'm ranting and sound angry, but hearing your gp story, brought it all back

Fettle, I think it seems bloody ridiculous to wait so long for a scan. I thought most areas had an EPU (early pregnancy unit) nowadays?? Is it worth doing some investigations and seeing where your nearest is and then go to the GP and practically demand they refer you. I had no history of m/c but bleeding with second pregnancy and I was referred without asking/knowing of this service (thank god everything was OK). However, my third pregnancy did result in m/c and if I do fall pregnant again I will be at an EPU around 6 weeks (even if gp doesn't agree!!).
Good luck.

Fettle - plummymummy said earlier on this thread that you can walk in at Kings College Hospital in London for an on the spot scan. Don't suppose you're anywhere near London?

Live in Wiltshire, so not really that close to London. Don't suppose they are open at weekends, as going to London this weekend.

Thanks for the idea though - I know that Bath has a similar set-up, but i'd feel bad going there, knowing that I'm not from that area, without my GP's consent.

I'll see how the next week goes, as there is no point going for a scan now anyway, as it is too early and I may have heard something from the EPU by early next week.

x

No news from Lissie? Hope she is okay.

No more vomiting here, though have had a slight headache since yesterday. Still think that I'm in with a chance though. Probably being stupid. Will know tomorrow!

Fettle, I would pester the EPU (nicely of course) I think you'll find that they will be more sympathetic than your GP. My GP was very nice but completely useless. When I fall pg, I'm going to kick up a fuss if they don't book me in for one. I know I've only had the one m/c, but it was my 1st attempt to conceive, so I'm in completely unknown territory. Plus, I work in a very stressful job in a hazardous environment.
Speaking of which, there was a news item on the BBC news website, apparently maternal stress in pregnancy can lead to an increased risk of your child having mental problems such as AHAD. Another reason for GPs and other Health Professional to treat us with kid gloves and give us our early scans!
There is a flip side to this. Sorry if this seems a bit harsh, but it has kind of played on my mind. What if you had the early scan, bean's looking good, heartbeat there, and then 3 weeks later it all goes to pot and you miscarry? Would an early scan lull you into a false sense of security, or does the early scan indicate the likeliness of a miscarriage further down the line, even if at the point pg is progressing fine?

Regualr poster (under different name) on MN, but haven't posted on these topic for a while.

I've had 2 missed miscarriages - the last one in Ocotber 2005 at about 7 weeks. Still want another one (have ds, 6), but dh is not keen as we are both well in to our 40s.

It's sort of been an "elephant in the room" - the topic we don't talk about.

The actual opportunities to conceive since my miscarriage have not been frequesnt - let's just say my dh has exercise a lot of self control!

Anyway, my cycle is usually 24-26 days. Even if my cycle were a regualr 38 day one, I ouwld have been due on Saturday.

I'm terrified to test - because of all sorts of mixed up emotions. I haven't even told me dh that I'm late.

I'm worried that it could just be my cycle getting irregualr as'm in the peri-menopuase.

I'm worried that I could indeed be preganat - and how I owuld be devastated if I had another miscarriage.

I'm worred that I could be pregnant and that given my age there will be soemthing wrong with it.

I'm worred that I might be pregnant and that I won't cope with the pregnanacy. I'm owrried that I could be pregnant and that my desire for another baby is the wors possible thing for ds, who is an aboslutely fantastic wee boy (which has always been my dh's fear).

At the moment I'm thinking that I should leave it until Friday, which would be nearly a week late, before telling dh and doing a test - but I am sitting here unable to concentrate.

I've been feeling sort of crampy for the last few days - the sort of heave feeling in your tummy that you sometimes get on the firt day of your period (I'm fortunate in that I have never partiucalry suffered from my periods).

Don't know why I am posting really - just needed to get it off my chest.

Catbaby - you are right, there is no guarantee that seeing a heart beat at an early scans means you won't miscarry, but there is around an 80-90% chance of successful outcome if you see a heartbeat. I know I should just relax and what will be will be, but DH is refusing to really acknowledge that I'm pg again, as he is scared of losing it again. He'd rather wait until he's seen it for himself. don't get me wrong, he's very supportive, he just hates seeing me so upset as I've been following both mcs.

Notstoppedhoping - you really need to talk to your DH. However, waiting until the end of the week, just to see how things pan out, will do no harm. As long as you can leave it that long. Pregnancy is a worrying time for anyone, but once you've had a mc, it becomes even more so - but I've found the people on MN have given me so much support, that it is much easier than going it all. I hope it all works out for you.
take care
x

Notstoppedhoping - my neighbour was 41 when she had twins last year. No problems during her pg or childbirth, as far as I know, and two very healthy, adorable babies!

You won't know until you test and you're going to have to do it sooner or later... The sooner you do it, the sooner you will know and the sooner you can start planning on what to do or coming to terms with the fact that you're not pg... Sorry to be blunt, but you know what you have to do!

I'm sure your dh would be over the moon if you were pg. I didn't tell dh for a week when I found out I was pg with ds because I was scared he wouldn't want a baby and he was so pleased! Anticipation is always worse than the reality...

Lissie - how did you get on at the doctor's?

doc couldnt fit me in. started spotting again but it is old blood, and did another test and it keeps getting brighter. on weds the docs bfp was v faint and the whole time ive been bleeding my bfps have been stronger, so surely the hcg levels are rising

Good luck for tomorrow lissielou, will be thinking of you. I have to say I think it does take 2 weeks for pregnancy hormone to get out of your body. BUT, a happy tale, I know someone who had a massive bleed, went to hospital and told had had a m/c but to come back in a week to check all cleared. Discovered a week later that she had had a completely unrelated bleed, think part of her womb had a 'wound', and she has a very health child now.