'TTC after a miscarriage - new thread'

[Janus]

Well tried to add my bit to old thread and we have reached 1000 posts again!!
Chocolatepeanut, am so sorry for what you are going through, although you sound as if you are handling it well so far. Hope things aren't too bad for you in the coming days.
Rubles, sorry if AF does arrive, bloody bitch! My blood tests will be next week. DP sperm test threw up 'abnormal sperm' and he needs to go and discuss with the GP later this week although she did say it wasn't too much to worry about. Been meaning to start a new thread on this but haven't got around to it.
I'm looking for a yoga class to try and help me relax! Do think this whole TTC is stressing me out so much, I'm so conscious of age gaps, both our ages working against us, even worrying about if we do conceive in next couple of months as worked out it would be a July or August baby (my oldest is July born and is struggling bit with school etc). Part of me thinks it may do us all some good if I just stop ttc for a couple of months, then the other half panics about an even bigger gap, etc!!
How on earth do you all manage to relax about all this stuff??

Congrats to rubles and fettle. Hope all goes well. Don't know if any of you live in London but there is an early pregnancy unit at Kings College Hospital in Camberwell, South London which is open every morning 9-12 and you don't need to be referred or make an appointment - just turn up. I don't think address even matters as I have moved out of the area and they still scanned me. I think it's criminal that some women have to go through repeated miscarriages and aren't given the option of early scans.

Oh Plummymummy that's interesting. I live in the East End so can get down there pretty easily via the Rotherhithe tunnel. I'll try and ring and find out more if the doctor doesn't oblige. Thanks for that.

It seems that Lissielou has graduated and we hopefully won't see her again on this thread, meant in a nice way, ifkwim...

lissielou's news

Interesting to hear about King's College - I will keep that in mind for sure if I fall pg again!

I've just posted my congrats, am so pleased for her! Here's hoping we don't see her on this thread again!
And don't forget, there's hope still for the rest of us.

Me and dh did a spot of bd last night.
Far too early to expect anything to happen of course, but wanted to anyway. Have to admit was feeling a bit scared because of the various nasty implements shoved up my fanjo last week. I've suffered from vaginismus for years and I still have difficulties, which is why I've never had a smear - the last time I tried it was so painful I had to get them to stop.
But it was ok, bit sore afterwards but it was nice. Bit relieved coz I was worried that dh and I might run into problems because I was so upset when they did the internal exam last week, I found it very painful.

Sorry if TMI!

CONGRATULATIONS RUBLES and FETTLE

Fantastic News....

Looks like lissie will be returning to this thread after all - Now I feel really bad for posting a link to her pg thread - I was just very pleased for her after all her horrible tests... Poor lissielou

what's happening with lissie? For info: it's best to get to KCH early (i.e 8.30 ) in order to guarantee being seen as it's a number queue system.

I've just seen the thread, poor Lissie. I'm just gutted for her. Hope she's okay.
Plummy, it seems her little bean didn't stick

Hello, just thought I'd pop on and say hi. Am in the process of getting over a missed miscarriage ( I know it doesn't really matter, but if people ask when, do I tell them 8 weeks - when the bean stopped growing - or 11 weeks - when we found out - or 12 weeks - when I had ERPC?)
I am tentatively joining this thread cos I think I'm getting straight back on the horse, but am going to take each day as it comes. I thought I was feeling fine, but just really stupidly had a look on my old antenatal thread to see how everyone else is doing, and found myself getting all tearful to read about them being x number of weeks, and having scans, etc, etc.
Have most people here gone straight back in to trying, or do people normally wait a bit?

Hi Feedmenow... Think most people seem to get an overwhelming urge to start trying again asap! I certainly did both times.

I have avoided my antenatal thread since posting that I was disappearing because of the m/c. I agree that it's too upsetting!

ooh, definitely stay away from the antenatal threads, that's just torturing yourself. I remember going and dipping into mine, it was like picking at a scab and it made me feel very left behind and jealous. I was quite glad when they all popped and the thread disappeared.
I hope you get pregnant again soon feemenow - I think that most if not all of us on this thread wanted to get back in the saddle asap after our m/c. I think it sounds particularly tough to have a missed miscarriage and not find out until so late.

Welcome Feedme- most people seem to jump straight back in the saddle. For some it's good news quickly, for others it takes a while. I personally tell people 13 weeks, which is when the foetus was found to be dead and ERPC'd out, rather than 12, which was when it died.

Wish you didnt have to be here, but welsome anyway.

Whatever you decide join us here! I've found it so helpful. I know what you mean about the antenatal threads, just seeing them brings tears to my eyes. In fact WHEN (not if!) I fall pg I'm going to stay off them until I'm at least 12 weeks gone (if not more).

I never joined my antenatal thread, just lurked, but it took me ages to stop the lurking after the mc - talk about torture!!

Welcome Feedme, you are in good company here

Hi All
plummy-that's good advice about the drop in eary pg clinic, i will remember that for others, I'm not even in U.K let alone London, but wish we had one.

Feed-sorry to see you here, I haven't left yet, as I like the company here, and we are a close bunch i think.
I have had 3 missed m/c the last one like yours ,baby died 7w but didn't find out till 12, I just told everyone the whole story, but not many actually have much to say, no one i know in real life has had m/c's. So not much real understanding. It's horrible for a while, but will get better.

lissieloo-big {{{hugs}}}I'm really sorry.

I'm sorry to mention scans, but your good thoughts and prayers would be nice for monday. I'm having a nuchal scan. Been feeling terrible for the last few days, combination of small pains, total lethargy, less symptoms, etc, I hope for good news, but hard not to expect the worst. this feels like my last chance too. I will not ttc if this doesn't work out. Sorry to be a downer i wish i could say it was better over here, but it's long and hard right now.

Oh Uki, I hope it's all okay for you.
I have a different experience in RL - so many people have come forward and told me that they or there dp has had a miscarriage when they heard that I had one.
I had no idea so many had - the only one I new of before was my mum - she had one in between having me and my twin brothers.
It seems to be something that people never discuss except with someone who has just had one - probably because it is too painful. I did find it helpful in some ways because at least people understood what I was going through but at the same time I felt a bit cheated in a way because I'd hadn't a clue just how common they were, I guess that's why I was so shocked when a) so many peeps on aug 07 suffered m/c and b) I had one myself. I felt that my expectations of going to full term first time around were unrealistic and that maybe I shouldn't have told so many people that I was pg. But due to my circumstances at work, it would have been difficult not to, plus me taking time off sic is practically unheard of, so me having 2 periods of sickness (one pg related) in a short space of time was bound to arouse suspicions.
Now of course there is the nagging feeling in the back of the head that when I fall pg again, what's to stop it happening again? I can totally understand your position Uki, so many m/c must be utterly heartbreaking. I shall keep my fingers crossed that everything is okay with you. We need some good news
Anyway this has turned out to be a bit depressing, so I'll share with you a little light entertainment. Tonight I'm going to a chocolate party. There will be chocolate, a chocolate fountain, hot chocolate, party games and Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Betting pool for how much weight I'll put on tonight is now open

UKI, have you had any scans so far or will this be your first?

Hello all... Am having a hard few days at the moment. I seem to be all over the place and I rather think it might be the reality of the m/c last year sinking in... I was just so busy at the time, I never had time to think about them much, but now feel really tearful at the thought of the babies so I am going to ask my sister to light a candle at her church for our lost babies and I think I am going to go to my local church later or tomorrow morning - the vicar will be surprised if he sees me there!!!

Best of luck for Monday, Uki... I will wish very hard for a successful scan result when I go to church.

hi all, thanks for your knnid words. at the mo dont want to ttc ever again but no doubt in a months time i will be taking my temp, discussing cm and sticking my legs in the air.

feeling a bit low today. wasnt too bad yesterday but its really hit me now iykwim. was so convinced that this bean was going to hold on

Rubles-I have had one scan at 8+5 weeks, and heard hb at dr's last week, so I'm actually passed my critical stage, normally baby dies 7 and a bit weeks, it's just been much harder this time to be positive.
How are you going?

Cat- i did have some people, i.e a couple of old ladies at work, etc, tell me about their m/c and yes it is common, to have had one. but no close friends have had one, in fact I was pg at the same time (a couple of days apart) as close friends for all 3 of my m/c. So I have living examples of what could of been, the last m/c was due next month, and I haven't seen her, which is hard you don't want it to ruin your friendship, but pg women find it difficult to talk about anything else but their pg.
enough ramble.

Choc Party -what a fab idea, I love it, I may have to pinch that idea, what fun

Lizzie sorry to ask if your not up to this don't answer, but have you had tests, and were you on anything for pg ????

weve had initial tests and have appt to see mc specialist on thursday. should have had my scan then as well . done everything right this time too, pg supplements, decaff, no alcohol. just so frustrated. and angry at my crappy body. im going to sound awful now, but all the women i know seem to get pg at the drop of their knicks and have wondeful glowing pg's i just feel so inadequete

lizzie, ask about asprin, and I'd ask to be re-tested as things can change with each pg, they did with me. Do you have arthritis, hypertension or any thing else in the family, tell the dr. if you do.

no, there is a history of diabetes and i was HUGE with ds, but they didnt test me for gd. i think something went wrong in his delivery tbh