'TTC after a miscarriage - new thread'

[Janus]

Well tried to add my bit to old thread and we have reached 1000 posts again!!
Chocolatepeanut, am so sorry for what you are going through, although you sound as if you are handling it well so far. Hope things aren't too bad for you in the coming days.
Rubles, sorry if AF does arrive, bloody bitch! My blood tests will be next week. DP sperm test threw up 'abnormal sperm' and he needs to go and discuss with the GP later this week although she did say it wasn't too much to worry about. Been meaning to start a new thread on this but haven't got around to it.
I'm looking for a yoga class to try and help me relax! Do think this whole TTC is stressing me out so much, I'm so conscious of age gaps, both our ages working against us, even worrying about if we do conceive in next couple of months as worked out it would be a July or August baby (my oldest is July born and is struggling bit with school etc). Part of me thinks it may do us all some good if I just stop ttc for a couple of months, then the other half panics about an even bigger gap, etc!!
How on earth do you all manage to relax about all this stuff??

waves at PlummyMummy, fellow Capricorn

My birthday was on Monday. I'm 39 now...

Hey guys.

I've had a m/c this week. Me and dh conceived on our first attempt. Absolutely devastated by it, but determined to be positive. Can't wait to start trying again. I've got a scan booked for a week on Tuesday. Hopefully, that will be all okay - the bleeding's almost stopped now.
I know I've been advised to wait for AF before TTC, but I don't think I can wait, and tbh, was thinking it might be better if I can't pinpoint a date of conception straight away. I did actually find the build up to my bfp really intense (though in a good way!) plus also would be easier not to tell people if I'm not sure myself if my pregnant! We have decided to keep schtum this time until I've had my first scan. I had to tell people straight away because I work in a hazardous environment (I come into contact with teratogenic & mutagenic compounds) but I've had a risk assessment and I have monitoring equipment for my office and the lab I work in so I can keep monitoring exposure levels (hopefully my updated copy of EH40 will have arrived by the time I return to work!).
Sorry if rambling a bit, guess brain is still a bit screwy, plus had half a bottle of Bailey's MintChoc (yum!) last night... not at all hungover, despite the fact haven't touched alcohol since I first conceived!!
OKay, will shut up now.

PS congrats to all those people with bfp/successful scans. Very happy for you, looking forward to joing that particular club

PPS Have decided not joining the antenatal cluns until well along in pg. Frankly, found it depressing how many mcs were on my thread, and wasn't alone in that.

Okay am definitely shutting up now.
xx
CBM

zimbojules....

How beautiful.

Well Done.

Morning all, hope everyone is ok...

zimbojules - I'm ok thanks, I had my first appointment on Tuesday with the fertility consultant after Bertie, so will see what that brings. Fab news on your scan... I cried many a times at my scans..especially when we found our he was a boy...its a truly amazing experience.

Catbabymummy - Sorry to hear about your M/C, wishing you well.

C U all laters...

Sorry - My message was meant to say... I have my first appointment on Tuesday.. xx

Zimbo...congrats!!!

My next scan is tomorrow and im sooooo nervous

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Plummy and duchesse and lissie , I hope you had good ones and al the best for a wonderful and bright year ahead.

OiNKER you sound like your back on planet earth, after all that lead up to the appointment. I hope you are relieved that it's over, it does remind me of mine though, "oh don't worry, you'll get pg" well I guess it did help to hear that, but not at the time, although I can't complain at the moment.

Cat-sorry to see you here, m/c can be very unexpected, even when you've had them before Great that you conceive so easily.
Of course you don't have to listen to me, but I like to wait a month,before trying again (I've had 3 m/c's). I know your brain and body don't tell you that, but in the long run i.e future pregnancy you'll feel more healed both mentally and physically.

D4ph- you poor hun, that's is horrible for you to have had all that trouble, and good on you for warning others about this, I never remember being told this could happen at my first ERPC, but was told last missed m/c and decided against having one, i don't think it is as simple a procedure as they make out.
I really feel for you and hope you have a much better time soon.

thanks for asking about my scan, and this is probably a bit UNHEARD of, but I have cancelled my scan as I heard babies heartbeat yesterday at Obstetrician and sounded healthy and strong, so it seemed silly to have another one so soon, I will have the nuchal in two weeks instead.
Will look forward to edie's scan instead

How is everyone else rahrah, fettle, zimbo, who else is around?

I hope this works never done a link before, but if you remember andi, she is here and could do with some support
andi www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=1367&threadid=264990&stamp=070118060822

here

What a week for celebrations - positive baby news and birthdays alike! Makes me feel much better despite the yucky January weather... Anyway, really pleased for Uki and Zimbo's good news!

Hi Uki thanks for looking forward to my scan-at least someone is!!! Im dreading it. Now off to see about Andi-I always think of her...

Hi everyone. I like this thread, so many positive vibes here

Uki, I'll see how I get on. I appreciate your advice though, I guess my brain is still pretty mixed up, had a bit of a cry this morning, DH had to nip into work to collect his laptop (he'll be working from home rest of week) and I hated him being gone. OKay now though. Just about to gather my courage for a trip to Asda - the weather is just awful here, heavy rain, strong winds you name it.. roll on the spring!

Can I ask a really stupid question - how many weeks post mc did you have to wait for your af to come back. Keep thinking I will have started and then nothing. I am on week 3.

Hi all

How we all doing?

Cazzybabs, my first mc was a missed mc and I had to have 2 ERCPs, but after the 2nd op, I had my AF about 2-3 weeks later. After my 2nd mc at Christmas, I ov'd about 17 days after red bleeding of mc started, so expecting AF by weekend (unless by some miracle, I've been lucky and fallen pg again!). So that would have been about 4-5 weeks I think.

Hope your scan goes well tom Edie - so hope both little heart beats are strong!

I hope you are coping ok too, D4phne - feel so awful for you. You've been through so much in the last few months. Take care.x

Hope everyone else is ok, sorry not to mention you all.

hopefully back later, when have more time.
take care
x

crazyubabs-can take up to 6 weeks for AF, the hormones take a while to settle down, Mine returned at 5 weeks, an important question indeed.

Thank you all. Shouldn't be lurking here... I can't cope at all. My husband is here and won't leave my side. That's good. They'll have to implant a coil for months and months and I won't be able TTC for months after that. Suddenly my life has been turned inside out. I was able to cope with m/c but I am not able to cope with the fact what they did to me.

Thanks - I keep rushing to the toilet at work and then when I get their I realise I have no tampons anyway...but so far it is all false alarms!

I just want it back so I know when to expect it (and can start ttc again)...

mind you Fettle maybe I am pregant again - erghh yer right!
Edie - hope it goes well tomorrow - am looking forward to some exciting news!

D4phne - {{{{HUGS}}}} you poor poor darling. You keep posting on here as much as you need to, we are all here for you. I'm crying as I write this as I am so upset for you. Thank goodness your lovely DH is with you. Give eachother a big big hug.

Take care.
xx

D4phne - that's terrible

I can't even begin to imagine how you must feel. I know mistakes happen, but when it involves people's health, it is very hard to deal with. How long in total have they said until you can ttc again?

OOh, am very excited for you fettle, shall keep my fingers crossed..

D4phe, best wishes love, you've really had it rough.

Sorry I meant cazzybabs, good luck. I've been on the Bailey's again....

d4phne - big hugs. I can't imagine what you are feeling right now! Thank goodness you have a supportive and lovely sounding dh.

Look afte yourself.

Catbabymummy - Baileys sounds good!! How are you feeling today? These first few days are really the worst - don't rush back to work too quickly, but it is a good distraction, as long as you either are strong enough not to cry when people talk to you, or your work colleagues don't care. Luckily, my work colleagues were so supportive when I had mc, that work was actually the best place for me.

Take care.
x

Aww thanks, I keep swinging from one mood to the next. DH and I have been talking about having some kind of memorial for our lost little one.
Work not a problem, both our work colleagues have been very supportive and understanding - we got huge bunches of flowers from both our bosses. Our house now smells like a florist - i also got a beautiful bunch from my girlfriends as well (bless 'em, they came over to cheer us up last night).
Was talking today with dh. Despite actively trying to conceive, the postive test and missing 2 AFs, part of me didn't believe I was pregnant. It was a terrible shock to the system actually having it confirmed beyond a doubt when the sonographer said there was an embryo only to be told in the next few seconds "there is no heartbeat". So I was hit with the reality of my pregnancy then told my baby had died before I had time to absorb it. I'm still haunted by those last words.
Sorry, didn't mean to turn this all maudlin. We are trying to be positive, aching to start trying again, because, dh and I are so ready to be parents. I can honestly say that this experience has really brought us closer together, not that we weren't close before.
I'm so lucky, my dh has been my hero through all this, and I know our loss has hit him just as hard as it has me, in some ways harder because he has had to watch me suffer considerable pain, and not been able to do anything about it. I don't think I could have got through this without him supporting me.

Catbabymummy - your poor, lovely DH sounds just like mine when I had my first mc. He was so upset and hated seeing me in so much pain, mentally and physically. I also know what you mean about just not feeling pg - with both my mc's I had difficulty actually feeling pg, although I had the all the normal symptoms, sickness etc. Maybe your mind just knows when the baby is not right?

Anyway, take care of each other - it does get easier, I promise. You'll have up days and down days, when odd things will hit you. I know a lot of the other ladies on here have memorials to their little ones they've lost. As I'm a military wife, we move regularly, so there was nothing we could really do, so all our memories are in our minds. And we hug our little DD extra tight every day!

take care
x