Bring along any luck you can find ..This BESHly fred is brought to you by the magic number 3 - come on Hags, we can Foo it!

[Blue2014]

You know the drill by now ...

Rules of Entry - must be over 30, TTC no. 1 for over a year, be suitably evil and Hag like, willing to shout Cunt at the moon on regular occasions, consume extra gin when our fellow hags are unable to, and to get the nipple tassles out for any successful Hag ...

and now we've been trained by the government in our new MI5 roles, we are likely to get a little Ninja on your ass if you babydust round here ...

No admittance without a complete BESHtionnaire - see below.

Oh buggeration - is this on the NHS? My friend had the same problem, she was tested for absolutely everything and came up completely fine but it took them a year and they already knew her husband's jizz was the problem at the start. On the plus side she now has two lovely boys through icsi so they got there eventually but it is ridiculous the amount of hoops you have to jump through. Are you able to afford IVF privately?

Is Mr Blue up for a bit of fertility counselling on his own out of interest? It sounds like he could really do with some assistance there and it would really help with your sanity too. You don't have to tell everyone that it's not happening because of his crap swimmers, just that you're having tests. It's funny isn't it that women are ok with saying that something isn't working with my womb but men cannot admit to there being a problem with their little fellas as it dents their manhood. Erm? Have a bag of cockles of comfort.

Blue I am sorry, hag, that sucks! I would love it if you joined me here, G&Ts all around!

For us, I think it will be around two years between starting tests and IVF too, but it all got fucked up by my pregnancy-mc last summer. If it wasn't for the double D&C and the drama that followed, we may have started with the IVF way earlier. Agh, FUCK IT!!!

Thanks Hags, I'm annoyed because my GP suggested they were doing the tests to stop them being replicated in clinic but clinic are insisting on doing there own and they have waiting lists. Fab I would pay private but currently MR B won't so that's another battle to have. Oh and alcohol consumption needs to be at 2 units a week for both of us before they will refer! He's currently on 4 units a day!

Hope break going well Erica

Oh and fab he won't go to fertility counselling, I can't even convince him to see Mr Ramsey (spaff specialist) and that includes a weekend away at a lovely hotel!

Fuck it all!

Oh Blue that's utterly shit. Do you think MrB's reluctance to engage is him sticking his head in the sand because he might be the one with the issues?

Oh Blue that really is awful, I really feel for you. Fuckit all entirely. The key to it all really is Mr Blue isn't it.

Sorry about your rubbish news blue does/will he talk to you about it much?

Only if I force him coop and even think only on practical matters.

Got my next appointment through, late October! That's to arrange a hsg not to even actually do it!! I can't believe my GP didn't warn me of this!

I've just text him to say I want us to consider private treatment, he said he didn't know it was having an emotional impact on me?!!! What the hell??

Blue this must be so frustrating but maybe now that he ¨knows¨that it is indeed having an emotional impact on you (I call it the manostrich effect), you can have a proper conversation?

Best of luck, hag!

We're gonna need a new thread pretty soon. Who's going to do it?

Oh blue what a load of shitey wanky old bollocks you've got on your plate. The manostrich (great word erica!) is definitely a consideration in Mr Bs behaviour. Sometimes men can really take the whole fake it till you make it concept too far, I.e. If I pretend there is no problem, there won't be one.
Sounds to me like he maybe needs to hear, really hear, how you're feeling at the moment. Yes he's the one with the known issue but it's not just about him is it!
As for the timelines of your treatment/explorations, while they don't surprise me at all (we're about to start ivf 2.5 years after first seeking help) that doesn't mean you should just suck it up if you're unhappy with it. I hope you're able to talk it all over with Mr B and work out a good plan together.
skate of support for you luffly hag.

erica I hope you're enjoying the seaside! We're off on hols to Devon this weekend for a week, can't wait totally ignoring the shitty forecast

cave I'm too scared of fucking it up to volunteer! We should discuss title options first, anyone got any bright ideas?

Hope you managed a heart to heart blue, men are shockingly dense sometimes aren't they?

New Fred needed ASAP, this one has too many bad vibes hanging around!

Rain I was scared of starting a Fred too but actually this one has been alright, we said the magic number was 3 and we have, indeed, had 3 diffments on this fred. Go for it Hag please include the words, ALL hags currently on board is the magic number this time!

Coop I had a partial heart to heart with him .. by text! and we are supposed to be talking about private options now but he's caught up at work I suspect this work wouldn't be so important if what was waiting at home was a beer and a blow job! so we have agreed to email about it instead which it turns out is currently feeling ok for me (allows me to get lots of facts down without having to see his face looking irritated at the amount of detail I'm giving). I'm currently seriously considering reprofit in Prague (seems to be £2000 per ICSI cycle, all in) but lets see what he thinks. Option one is Mr Ramsey which is currently cheapest and easiest, I've no idea if it will work but its worth a try!

Come on hags, new suggestions for fred titles please .....

Ok we have an agreement - redo spaff test on NHS, book to see Mr Ramsey, look at private treatment from there. Woo! A plan

Yay Blue this is great news

Excellent progress Blue

Ok, so this is embarrassing but I can't remember who the third bfp was on this thread.... Obviously Fab, as she was one of the three ivfers along with myself and cherry, then bad randomly got diffed by shagging her bloke?! I mean, what are the chances of that?! but I am totally failing with number 3...

Fizz

I worked that out just after I posted! Shouldn't try to think after a long week at work and a night out.....
I remembered that the thread was only lucky if your name began with f...... and then bad spoilt the pattern
So, the new thread is all about the b's....

not just b's please!

off on hols for a week, Devonshire cream teas, fish and chips and hopefully lots of Sun! leave me a breadcrumb trail to the new fred ...

I'll do the new Fred if you can wait till this evening (am at work now)

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2412699-The-BESH-are-cheating-on-Luck-with-Irony-all-Hags-aboard-for-the-ironiclusterdiff-of-the-decade-for-the-Bs-and-the-none-Bs

New Fred here!

Am off to the pub, there will be gin ....