Bring along any luck you can find ..This BESHly fred is brought to you by the magic number 3 - come on Hags, we can Foo it!

[Blue2014]

You know the drill by now ...

Rules of Entry - must be over 30, TTC no. 1 for over a year, be suitably evil and Hag like, willing to shout Cunt at the moon on regular occasions, consume extra gin when our fellow hags are unable to, and to get the nipple tassles out for any successful Hag ...

and now we've been trained by the government in our new MI5 roles, we are likely to get a little Ninja on your ass if you babydust round here ...

No admittance without a complete BESHtionnaire - see below.

Coop, me and Mr Blue had a hard time for a while too. He actually didn't want to talk and it doesn't help him. So now I just do the basics with him (ie. I'm booking an appointment with the clinic on this day, is that ok and do you have any questions?) and then put as much focus as possible into just being us again without the stress of the ttc. I'm not saying it's perfect but it's helping

Erica - isn't it weird that low hopes are wonderful now? I hate the months when I think there is a small chance of success

erica, FC = fertility clinic (at the hospital in my case).
I know burying of heads is common with men, it's just never happened with us before and I don't quite know how to handle it
Droid arrived right on schedule but we still weren't trying this month.. Need to have the talk soon if we want to get a move on!

Hey hags. Just popping in to say hello. I appear to be still diffed (I may or may not have done 5 tests since last week). I'm in limbo a bit - the clinic have booked me in for a scan at 8 weeks (2nd week in June). But for the moment, it's twiddle the thumbs and stress out over every twinge. No work is getting done. At all.

I'll be lurking to keep up to date with you lovely hags, if that's ok. I'm not quite ready to leave yet.

Bad, I still lurk, worry not! I wasn't ready to move over to the PESH thread properly until about 10ish weeks and that was after 2 scans! Besides, it's the law for ESH to continue lurking on the mother thread

Keep your chin up and keep holding on to those hopes. I totally didn't know what to do with myself in the first few weeks - hanging out here where people knew what was going on was a godsend.

Lurk and post diffed hags, I miss you when you aren't around and might occasionally lurk on the PESH thread to check you are ok

I'm lurking a bit too, if that's ok! Not ready for the PESH yet - feels like I might jinx things if I venture over there. Still taking industrial quantities of drugs, and no symptoms yet either. Am trying to keep the menkul at bay though have just spent half an hour googling whether I can have a bath or not . I've also made a plan to go and see my sis, hopefully having convinced every one in my family that there's no extra risk in doing so. Now crossing everything that nothing does go wrong - I think we might all implode with misplaced guilt if it did.

cooper hope you find a way forward with MrCoop.

erica 3 months sounds fine to me to get your healthy shiz on before ivf. God knows we need coffee and pastries during this ttc lark.

barking I am beyond impressed that you were lovely enough to give the cardigan as a present and staggered that she didn't pay any more attention to it. She can't have known how much it meant to you, but If it's a small consolation, we do.

Ahhhh diffed hags - I luffs you

Urgh, shit day. My GP called to say there was no point in me getting the tests she's lined up for me to get done as the referral guidelines clearly state you gave to have been trying for 2 years before they'll accept a referral

I've asked her to confirm (again) that this applies to people with known pre-existing conditions so she's gone off into a huddle to consult her computer/books/crystal ball. I'm going to phone the bloody clinic myself tomorrow.

If she's right we've little option but to go private, I'm not prepared to wait 2 years before we can get the ball rolling again. Bye bye savings!

Ah cave that is shit! Definitely call the clinic. Is there any space for lying about the amount of time you have been trying? (I know it's not 2 years but you see my point!)

Buggeration Cavey that's rubbish. I second Blue, can you be a bit fluid with the truth or will that be too difficult to wangle?

(Still lurking) Cavey that's crap! I'm wondering if they can only refer you after TTC for two years but if you go private for the initial appointment, given your history, they might put you straight on the waiting list?

bloody rubbish cave and totally illogical when they KNOW you have a pre-existing condition.

please keep lurking PESH, we need you for inspiration and just cos we like you being around

RAF had his spaff test today. Sent me a pic of an ominous black box labelled 'magazines' (he took his own 'materials') and then a hilariously mistimed text afterwards saying he'd popped to m&s for some new work trousers, resulting in me thinking he'd had some sort of dire spaff related accident

2 weeks till appointment now. time will undoubtedly drag....

Sorry Rain, but "spaff related incident" did make me chuckle

Thanks for the sympathy hags, I'll let you know what the clinic says later.

Good luck Cave!

The PESH definitely need to keep on popping by so we know IT CAN AND IT DOES HAPPEN!! :)

CD19. Not too much menkul but the creamy CM has arrived, like every month, so I am assuming nothing has changed and I am not diffed. Fuck it.

Dr is wrong!

The nurse I spoke to said I'd definitely be accepted straight away, though there's a 6 week waiting time for appointments at the moment. She told me to tell the Dr to phone the clinic herself if she doesn't believe me!

Huge relief!

Hurrah!!!!

Brilliant news Cavey!

Good stuff - silly doctor!

Good news cave

And rain, I just snorted on the bus, good work!

Thanks hags. Tad dusty in here tonight ain't it

rain I can't help picturing a dire spaff related incident now .

cave good news that the doctor was indeed clueless .

bugs I don't think I'd have that confidence that everything was going to be ok, no matter how big my bump . I can't imagine me ever being that person that talks about the baby constantly as I'd be thinking I was going to jinx it.

I had to fill the new HR lady in on my history today - I'm on holiday next week but the first day back I may or may not need some time off. A bit difficult to explain that one really... Anyway, I gave her a very brief history to explain why I may or may not need some time off depending on ovulation and arrival or not of AF before I get a chance to get a biopsy at the hospital. She tells me she totally understands as her daughter was conceived with their last frozen embryo, and she'll never forget how hard it was but it was all worth it in the end etc etc. Only she has an older son. Who was an instadiff after a boozy night out. So she may have had secondary infertility, but no, you've got no bloody clue what it's like to still not be a mother when you're in your fourth year of ttc and having to face the possibility that you may never get pregnant and give birth to a healthy baby. Yes, secondary infertility is hard, but you are not facing the possibility of never being a mother it is NOT the same fucking thing

That's what I wanted to say to her. I saved that for the BESH though. For her, I smiled sweetly and sympathised as she told me her story...

Oh barking how shit!

I had hoped when my ivf comes round that it would be my male boss who is too shy to question any of it but manager has just changed to gossipy lady!

It's my one year anniversary as a hag I joined this week last year

Where's everybody at?! Hellooooo??
Hope you're all having a good bank hol weekend.
barking that's rubbish, well done to you for holding it together though.
Happy hag-versary blue

Thanks Coop