Bring along any luck you can find ..This BESHly fred is brought to you by the magic number 3 - come on Hags, we can Foo it!

[Blue2014]

You know the drill by now ...

Rules of Entry - must be over 30, TTC no. 1 for over a year, be suitably evil and Hag like, willing to shout Cunt at the moon on regular occasions, consume extra gin when our fellow hags are unable to, and to get the nipple tassles out for any successful Hag ...

and now we've been trained by the government in our new MI5 roles, we are likely to get a little Ninja on your ass if you babydust round here ...

No admittance without a complete BESHtionnaire - see below.

Blimey that sounds challenging Barking! So do you have to queue up for scans etc, you don't have appointments at all? Hope the cramping settles down and you have a good bleed (if that doesn't sound too weird!!).

I flit from being ok to menkulling horribly. Realised yesterday in my tired confused state that I'd managed to take 2 steroids instead of 2 oestrogen tabs. You're not supposed to double up on anything so managed in the end to squeeze another oestrogen tab at the end of the day so have now only missed 1 and am hoping it will all be ok....menkul menkul. Quite a lot of clinics stop the oestrogen and progesterone once you get diffed so I think mine continues as a precautionary measure more than anything. I hope. I'm not so worried about the steroids as it's only 2 extra in a day as opposed to over a longer period of time. Fingers crossed anyway. 8 days till scan. Tick tock.

Fizz I'm well jell of your weekend - sounds amazing!! For the record, if this all works I shall be 67 when it's 25 so I have 2 years on GBFW!! EEEK.

Hags!!

Barking and Cherry Sorry things are tough at the moment. I do get massive swings from 'we'll be fiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnneeee' to 'it's been 3 years, if it has not happened by now, it will never happen, we are DOOMED!!!!!' ... a few times a day.

Barking How did your scan go?

Fab I guess once you've mc-d, you are going to menkul and menkul for the first 12 weeks at least. I used to rebel against it and get so pissed off that I would never be one of those 'isn't pregnancy just fucking bliss' types. But I've come to accept that if/when I get diffed, I'll be freaked out for a long time. Doesn't make it fun though.

Fizz Your week end sounds lovely!

Sooooo... CD22! Expecting the droid to show her ugly face by the week end and theeeen ... TTC this month! It must have been a long time since we last did because I seem to have forgotten the utter anguish of trying to catch the egg and shouting at Mr Erica to just sex me RIGHT now and then spending two weeks wringing my hands. I am sort of excited. Please don't kick me out, it's one sparkly, baby dusty hell out there.

Also, we've been talking more about IVF, as in practicalities, clinics etc. Whoopie. Ish. No, I'm actually happy about it.

Franks hags, am just pissed off with being ill and slightly frantic to be better ASAP! I'm on full dose oestrogen now, scan on Wed to check on the old womble lining, donor EC either Saturday or Monday.... Things are barrelling along and I don't feel very ready.

So Barking, what's the verdict, droid or no?
Glad you had an amazing weekend Fizz. Eating clean is hard when temptation is everywhere! I've been off gluten and dairy since the new year and just eaten one of ROCH's milk choc truffles he left lying around. Oops. Why? Wtf! I'm such an idiot.

Fab you're doing so well. Keep going girl, we're all hear to dump trawlers of rotting shell fish at your door and generally egg you on.

Arf at Erica, get you tripping in here all goo eyed newly excited TTCer again. I shall turn my cynical gaze away, we couldn't possibly throw you to the huns and baby dusters! Just promise me you'll howl at the moon and take post coital gin to celebrate. Nice work in theIVf progress. I miss gin, there is not enough of it in my life at the moment.

Cherry - imagine I am looking deeeeep into your eyes - I promise I shall drink some post TTC gin on your behalf. The lack of gin in your life shall be avenged!!!

Fab, scans and bloods are done every morning between 8-9.30. It's first come first served. Monday morning is the worst as they don't open on Sundays so everyone that would have come in on a Sunday is there along with the Monday lot.

Erica the novelty will wear off very quickly and you'll return to the BESH weary cynic in no time .

I'm all go! Start injections tomorrow morning. I was a bit concerned when I explained that I'd had two days of spotting but no proper flow (could have easily caught the lot in a teaspoon) so I might not be ready and the nurse did the scan and said my womb lining was thin enough... Hmm. The progesterone will help my lining though, won't it? And they'll know from the later scans whether my womb lining is thick enough. must not find more things to stress about

For those who have stimmed with gonal F (anyone?) can I ask what your dose was? I was told 225 by the consultant and nurse, but when I called for my blood results I was told 300. I don't see why the consultant said 225 if the dose was likely to change according to my bloods?

Womble lining has to start off nice and thin and then will get plumped up with all the drucks but now is also a good time to boost your protein levels - I had lots of chicken, eggs, beans, pulses and also solgar whey to go protein shakes. I was on Fostimon and Merional which are the natural rather than synthetic versions of follicle stimulating hormone and lutenising hormone (each clinic has their preferred choice) and started off with 450 of FSH which then dropped to 375 4 days later when I then added 75 of the LH into the mix. I ended up on 525 of FSH in the end as I wasn't stimming very well. The amounts will always depend on the bloods so sometimes they might say something to you straight away but whatever result you get from the bloods will give you definitive answer. Go Barking!!!

Chez, how's the lurgy going then lovely? Is it worth getting signed off sick for the duration so that you can truly relax and concentrate on wellness?

Erica can you gulp a gin back for me too please? Actually fuck it I'll have a gin and prosecco cocktail please - it's been a while!

Oops forgot - COW AND COE!!!

Fab What concerned me was that your womble should be nice and thin once the lining has been shed during the droid. I shed less than a thimbleful of blood, so that's pretty much as thin as it was through my luteal phase. Droid didn't properly roar until this afternoon, when it arrived in earnest along with fucking horrible cramps
However, all the womble thinness doesn't matter for this cycle just might explain why I can't otherwise get pg if there's nothing to bury into , as this cycle I have DRUCKS

barking I don't know if womble lining sheds evenly from all over, or whether it sort of starts to slump and slide it's way down. If perchance it is the latter, imminently pre droid maybe your lining would look nice and thin overall with a big old glob waitng to emerge at the bottom? I am talking total shit here obviously!
Great that you're on the yellow brick road again (wrong fred I know)!

fab I can send you a whole bunch of boring financial paperwork to keep you occupied if you need something to keep the menkul at bay! Alternatively, I can just dump a load of cockles on you?

erica we need at least one of us round here who's actually excited by and looking forward to ttc sex, maybe you'll rub off on us (fnarr!)

blue are you feeling better yet?

fizz your weekend sounds lovely! I try not to think about the age thing, although I am fairly crap at that. There's reasonably big age differences between me and my siblings (8 and 10 years older than me) so to start I sort of mentally raced them in my heads (have now lost to one of them r.e. how old they were when they had kids) and I also am now racing against my own mother on how old she was when she had me. I am a sad, sad woman!

chez you poor sausage, I definitely think if you can wangle some more time off for R & R, you should take it. Being ill with all this bollocks on top is just rubbish.

Had a lovely lazy weekend, went for a country ramble and sunbathed (in actual warm sunshine!!!) on top of a hill in the middle of nowhere before going for a delicious pub lunch.
Got some major shiz happening at work tomorrow - I can tell you now as its being announced tomorrow anyway but the company I work for is being bought. I've known for over a month now, been hellish not being able to talk about it! All very exciting and not just because I have shares

Glad to hear it Erica, someone needs to have some fun round here!

Barking, under starters orders, whoop, COE! I really don't get the lining thing but mine does the same. Loving the theory Rain! As you say, they've checked it out and you have drucks, all will be well. One of my affirmations is about trusting the process, trusting my body, anything to quel the menkul!

I'm off work at the mo and doing everything in my power to get well. I'd like to get back in ASAP so that I can set stuff right before going off on leave for TX next week. Trying to be cool about it all though.

Rain, what a few days you're having, sounds like you're living the high life, long may it continue.

I will be well, I be well, I will be well..

Stupid question time hags. Suddenly I've hit the magic cusp of being desperate for a haircut and a few highlights to brighten everything up a bit especially looking like death with lurgy . Of course it would be now when everything is upon us. Is it safe to have foils before TX/when PUPO/diffed? Or am I destined to be dowdy until OTD and hopefully beyond?

Cherry, no idea, but surely you're safe to get it done now, before tx?
This isn't particularly helpful as it says it's fine, then says most women avoid it in the first 12 weeks of pg. Highlights are ok though as they don't go into the scalp.

Fab only 7 days now! I'm still menkulling. I don't actually have enough gonal f to take 300 a day until day 10 when I'm back at the hospital. Although I have some left over from iui which might be enough to tide me over....

I had to keep getting top ups of drucks throughout stims Barking as they only gave me enough for the basic protocol which is right as you don't want to have too much as it's so bloody expensive! My druck company was very good at doing next day delivery but as you're doing all your shiz at the hospital they might be able to give you more when you're in for visits? Easy for me to say this but try not to stress about the process - you might stay eith the same amount of drucks or you might need more but the docs will ensure you have the right amount at all times. As chez says you need to trust the process and then let the technical stress go - that's for them to menkul about, not you. Your job is to eat and drink the right things, listen to woo, be gentle on your body (let it concentrate on doing all this work and not be side tracked by repairing your muscles after crazy long cycle rides ) and doing lots of positive affirmations - think plump round healthy follicles and snugly plump womble lining

Chez, I'm sending you the gibberfish of get wells and willing your body to recover swiftly this week in time for important shiz at the end of the week!!

I feel like I'm hungover every morning without even a sniff of booze. Bleurgh. I'm waking up to wee at least 4 times in the night at the mo - that's a good sign right??

Rain, how exciting about your company - you love that place though - won't it be weird being bought out?

Ps I'm already booked in to do my sister's financials this week so I might skip yours Rain and just take the cockles

I'd get your colour in now Chez to be on the safe side. No need to put yourself in menkul once you're diffed! Barking is right about the highlights too - once/if I get past 3 months I shall get my highlights done but apparently it's better to leave off the full colour as it's then putting colour direct on the skin which shouldn't be a problem but...but... I'm currently pondering getting one of those Colour WOW palette thingies to tide me over as my natural platinum lights are coming through a little bit too aggressively for my liking!

Fab That's fantastic signs! 7 days to go!

Chez I am pretty sure you'd be ok with highlights, specially before TX (or so it says every single article I found on the internet). Alternatively, use henna (I know, massively hippie but it makes your hair so shiny and bouncy!) or 'natural' dyes?

Rainy Exciting news!

Hags, I am having a bit of a panic attack. I just realised I got my BFP (before mc-ing at 7 weeks) in May last year. That means I got diffed in April. So nearly a year ago. And still, here we are. I suddenly thought 'I can't do this anymore, who am I kidding? I am just putting myself and my marriage through hell and for what? Even if I managed to get pg again, I will probably mc again!'. I am literally hyperventilating.

This is too fucking hard sometimes.

Now, that was a cheerful post...

Oh Erica, darlin - I have no wise words because although I think there is real hope for us all I know the hope isn't always enough. Hag, I am sending cockles of compassion and hakes of hope your way. Me and you are gonna clusterdiff together hold on my lovely, you'll get through this

Hi everyone else - haven't read whole fred yet, still got the lurgey (cold and a migrane - lovely)

Thanks Blue! Went for a walk and feel a bit better now. Yay, to clusterdiff together.

Cold and migraine?? WTF. Hope you are not at work and staying in, all nice cosy ... watching House of Cards, perhaps ?? :)

Glad you feel better

Nope, in work - am entirely useless here but I'm here

Fab I don't go back to the clinic now until next Tuesday, day 10. They don't change the dose once you've started at this clinic.
I'm just going out on a little plump-up-the-follies bike ride with DCW... Just a gentle one. Then the bike is going away. Honest . It's only an hour. The nurse told me not to stop exercising if that's what my body was used to, just reduce the intensity. So instead of the planned 5 hours out on Saturday I'm doing a gentle hour tonight, but then sticking to walking the dog after that. Aren't I a good girl?

Erica I frequently swing between 'This is going to work!' and 'What the fuck am I putting myself through? Why don't we just quit and live life instead of treading water in quicksand?'

Blue and Cherry hope you both feel 100% very soon .

You may polish your halo on the taking care of yourself front Barking, gold star! Erica My menkul also swings wildly on the will it, won't it; I want to be confident but all the positivity in the world still has to strike the balance between hope and realism. It's a tricky one.

Blue, sorry to hear you're suffering too, I hope you get over it soon, tis shit.

Fanks for the get wells hags, dare I say it, feeling a little better today? I thought that last Saturday too and it came back to bite me on the ass but I'm really hoping this could be wellness in my sights? I should manifest it so with my active mind body connection that I still can't stay awake through .

I've also managed to get a hair apt for Saturday so fingers crossed I'm not needed for a spaff collection at the same time. Justify that to a cancellation policy. Its a tricky thing to keep appearances up in pregnancy hey Fab. So many pitfalls!

Fingers crossed chez! (And a bucketful of get well soon goby just to make sure).

Well hags, I just had the weirdest woo hypno shizzle experience. Still digesting it. To cut a potentially very, very long and woo story short my 'subconscious emotional block' is not the two past miscarriages, it's my fucking mother. Who'd have thunk it? It was a very bizarre experience, not what I was really expecting to come out at all.

Woah. First dream where I had a baby. Really tripped out. Apparently the iui had worked after all. I was a little confused as to why I was still doing ivf when I was carrying the baby around (apparently I didn't bother with the 9 months of pregnancy bollocks , the iui worked and baby appeared). Then someone visited to weigh him (it was a boy) and said he'd lost half his birth weight but not to worry. She asked if I'd been breastfeeding and I realised I'd forgotten to try as I'd been sedated for the birth and it hadn't occurred to me since. I had a thought that maybe DCW had been feeding him, and pondered giving him some banana. Then I realised we hadn't told anyone we'd had a baby, and perhaps I should take a photo to send to my mother. Then I realised with horror that I hadn't told the BESH!!! Then I woke up.

All most bizarre .

On top of the hypno woo shizzle, I'm feeling a little spaced out this morning! And my left nipple is itchy. Yesterday my right nipple was itchy. Is this A Sign?