Bring along any luck you can find ..This BESHly fred is brought to you by the magic number 3 - come on Hags, we can Foo it!

[Blue2014]

You know the drill by now ...

Rules of Entry - must be over 30, TTC no. 1 for over a year, be suitably evil and Hag like, willing to shout Cunt at the moon on regular occasions, consume extra gin when our fellow hags are unable to, and to get the nipple tassles out for any successful Hag ...

and now we've been trained by the government in our new MI5 roles, we are likely to get a little Ninja on your ass if you babydust round here ...

No admittance without a complete BESHtionnaire - see below.

'Allo hags!

Not a bank holiday here so it is a regular Monday at the office for me. Boo.

Not much to report. The droid is due on Saturday/Sunday and I am pretty sure it's on its ugly way. We cannot TTC in June or August so we'll have a last chance in July and then hopefully, hopefully, we can start the IVF process in September.

I think they may propose a pre-IVF lap (hey Fab!) to remove any endo that may have come back in the last 7 months so things may get a bit delayed again but fingers crossed we can get on before the end of the year!

In the meantime... and !

How is everyone else doing?

happy belated hagversary blue! I've totally missed mine!

Tis quiet in here, everyone off having fun I hope? I've mainly got my head in the sand ostrich style at the moment. IVF appointment #1 is next week and an staying to get the fear, not really sure why this is happening now, I've been so excited to finally get going I'm not sure where this sudden reluctance is coming from.
I was all set to be open with my bosses once I knew the plan but recent work events have made that much less appealing so looks like I'm going to have to brush up on my lying skills, that's definitely not helping my enthusiasm levels.

That sounds stressful Rain - good luck with the first appointment!

The droid has indeed arrived... five days early. Fucking nice. It's really really light but red so finding it difficult to get my hopes up about implantation bleeding...

Now I am worried that there is something really really wrong with me ... apart from the endometriosis. And the infertility. And the miscarriages. But something else on top.

I had a 5 day early bright red bleed once, it was directly after taking a fertility cleanse tablet I admit but it wasn't a sign of anything. I was dildocamed soon after (I just typed the letters dil - and my phone automatically offered me dildocamed as an option!)

Rain, I think the way you feel is completely normal, I think it's now i would feel

Thanks Blue! I am probably massively overreacting in a 'omfg, my insides must be completely fucked' way but still... a regular cycle seemed to be the only thing that was sort of working as expected!

Mmmhh... what is a fertility cleanse tablet?

How are you, hag? And Mr Blue?

erica have you altered any supplements you've been taking? My cycle is like clockwork every month, apart from when I cocked about with additional supplements like Royal Jelly, CoQ10 etc.

blue my phone suggests ivf, droid, instadiffer and dildocam ahead of many other more sane words a lot of the time! It also sneaks cunt in quite a lot, which is far more pleasing! I am also intrigued, wtf is a fertility cleanse tablet??

barking I hope you had a good BH after dealing with HR lady, it really isn't anything close to being the same. I'm sure she meant well (don't they all) but I can't see how she'd think your situations were remotely similar.

What excuse can I give for being off every now and then? I don't have enough leave to take it all as holiday. Some sort of minor operation? I really wanted to be able to just tell them, but things are so fucking weird at work at the moment I think I might come to regret it.

I'm watching Outlander this evening. Total nonsense and pretty terrible acting, but the Scottish warrior chap is quite a dish.

Ah Rain, that's pretty much what the fertility cleanse is, a bunch of supplements. Did you ever figure out what supplements do that to us? I can't remember it's exact name Erica, it was from the fertilaid website (which my phone also autocorrects too!). I took them for a month, had a really bright red early bleed but then (this was the days of poas for ov checking) im reasonable sure I then didnt ovulate that month so I stopped talking them. In hindsight it probably just shifted my ovulation day and I missed it. Erica, I can't remember is this a TTC month for you or not?

I'm alright, as is Mr B. This month is a non ttc month as we away with in laws and the walls are very thin! First full on stick dye though my tubes and dildocam me to hell why, considering the low spaff count?? appointment in a couple of weeks

Hi Rain,

No, haven't really changed my supplements, I just take a bog standard pre-conception thingy. For all it helps, I may as well have a daily Ferrero Rocher. (now that's a thought...). I think it was Bugs warning us about some supplement (chaste berry? ) that send her cycles crazy...

However, I have been pretty stressed for non TTC reasons the last few weeks so it could be that. Let's see what happens next month.

Blue We did TTC but obvs didn't work... at least we cannot TTC next month, meaning I won't get all worked up about tracking ov after crazy early period. I had a lap and a hysteroscopy 5 months ago so I am going to assume that anything very very wrong would have shown up then...

The dye thing is not fun but it does seem to increase your fertility for a few months afterwards so who knows? Good luck, hag! :)

By the way, how are our diffed hags??

Erica, I predict the fanjo poking will do nothing for my luck especially considering we have a spaff issue but I'm happy to grab some of that hope you're offering

Oh, I am a true hag. Very cute baby opposite me, am avoiding eye contact like the plague. Suddenly very very interested in my book

blue I know that feeling! Doing it more than ever at the moment.

I'm basically still at least 50% in denial. I've done a couple of tests but none for a week as I'm trying not to get into a cycle of obsessiveness. Also trying not to obsess over lack of symptoms, thought had my first onset of nausea last night. Having been through a mmc and knowing other hags' experiences, I feel like I can't let symptoms reassure me anyway! Scan is next Thursday which still seems like aaaaages away. Having persuaded my family not to fret I am on my way to the airport to go and see my sister. I am in awe of her courage during this horrible cancer treatment and just wish I could be there more. Really really hoping that this pregnancy turns out to be the good news our family could do with.

Fwiw I am deeply suspicious of herbal shiz. Some of it seems really strong! And much of it seems like snake oil. While I'd love to think that my bfp was the result of living in harmony with the universe and keeping my feet warm (and don't get my wrong, I did/ do do it all), in reality it must have been cold hard medical science and industrial quantities of oestrogen wot dun it. I think it was Angus castus that bugs had views on. I say go for the daily Ferrero Rocher instead! (Not ferret Rocher - thanks autocorrect.) Just a point of view, though; feel free to disregard

I have to agree Fizzy. I tried lots of Brazilian nuts, pineapple core, exercising, a lot and not too much, giving up coffee, supplements etc with zero luck last year.

The only thing that worked was to have a lap and get the endo around my ovaries removed.

Off to to get some Ferrero Rochers!

Fizz, best of wishes to your sister. Hope you both do ok at this time.

And thanks for the diffed update, I know it must be terrifying but I still love love love that you are diffed. This is excellent news for us Hags.

As for supplements, I believe they do work when needed (there seems to be quite a bit of evidence for spaff vits) but I've always been really sensitive to that kind of stuff so I just take a general pre-conception vit (the "trying for a baby" one which I last stockpiled 12 months of when it was on offer, shop assistant must have wondered How many babies I was trying for!)

Erica, definitely a Ferero rocher a day. NOT a ferret rocher, that sounds awful. Although my rich phone converted it to Ferrari Richer, which is an excellent porn name if you ask me

Morning hags. Loving the idea of a daily ferrero (Guerrero in my phone) rocher, have to admit, I don't even remember to take folic acid every day anymore...

Hope your visit with your sister goes ok fizz, wishing you both well

When's your appointment blue? I had my hycosy last year, thanks to my very good GP who pushed me through (fat lot of good it did.. ) and it was good to just know there were no blockages..

erica, I know what you mean about cycles, I worry about mine as they have gotten shorter since we started ttc. Dr says it's not a problem but I'm not convinced...

Hi Coop My doctor doesn't think that shorter cycles are huge issue as such, but a very short luteal phase (under 10-11 days) may make it more difficult to get diffed. I was on progesterone last year to make my luteal phase a perfect 14 days long but that didn't help either. In fact, the month I got diffed I didn't take progesterone since no one expected me to get a BFP straight after the lap (I mc-d at 7 weeks but I am sort of obsessed with laps since).

How long are your cycles and when do you ovulate, roughly?

Blue Ha ha at a trolleyful of preconception vits!!

Fizz As Blue said, we need you updiffed hags here so we don't despair too much! :) All the best for the visit to your sister.

What is everyone doing this week end? I am going to have to work a bit but I think I need gin and prosecco in my life right now.

(well not right now-now. It's 8am!)

Wotcha hags. Apologies for absence, we've had a few mega busy days what with work & joining the world of grown ups by buying an estate car

Not much to report here, HWHNN is booked for his spaff test on 10 June so once that is done I can get my bloods taken and the referral underway.

Rain I'd be more inclined to tell your work why you need time off as they're less likely to get arsey about it. If you don't feel comfortable doing that then make sure you make it clear to them that the appts are for a personal medical reason. Leave no room for interpretation!

Hey coop,my first appointment is tues but I assume that will be a "let's have a general chat" appointment then I'll have to book in for all the others. It does annoy me that it takes so long when I really think we should just go straight to icsi considering the spaff (and the apparent 20 week wait at the point of referral!) but what can you do

erica I don't know why I said cycles when what I meant was droid. I only have one full day of bleeding now, the rest is spotting mentioned it to my gp but he said it didn't matter... My cycles are between 28 - 33 days normally, luteal phase 12-13 days long.

Frustrating isn't it blue? Good luck anyway, sure you'll do better than me at my last few appointments (tears )

Everyone had a good weekend?

I'm sure I'll be fine coop, I cry about everything in the world all the time but not hospital appointments. I'm hard as when it comes to medical problems

End of holidays . Had a lovely time away and no Wifi for a week!

Erica/coop I'm also obsessed with cycles, droid and lp length. Bleeding has got heavier post mc 2 I think, more than the previous 1 day of flow and 2/3 days of spotting.

Blue hope the appointment goes ok on Tuesday. Is it an initial nurse appointment or the consultant?

Had horrible news at the end of our holiday, my dad had a bad fall and broke his hip. Had an operation yesterday and we went straight to see him when we landed. He looked so frail . Just got off the phone to my mum to check how he's been. He is no better, couldn't see the physio as his blood pressure was too low and he's still on the oxygen . It's not bloody fair. He's led such a fucking healthy life and this is what happens?

Blue Best of luck tomorrow! Do let us know how it goes also so I can prepare myself for the appointment in a few months time

Barking I am so sorry to hear about your dad. It is unfair indeed. Sending you hugs disguised among arm punches.

Just had the biopsy for the nk cells test. Fucking hell that was painful . Should get the results in 3-4 weeks.

Hags, I've had to cancel my appointment. Life has gone a bit off at this moment, I'm probably gonna pop off the Fred for a week or so but fingers crossed I hope to be back

Blue I am sorry, hag. I am sending you hugs. Hope things get better and to have you back soon