Bring along any luck you can find ..This BESHly fred is brought to you by the magic number 3 - come on Hags, we can Foo it!

[Blue2014]

You know the drill by now ...

Rules of Entry - must be over 30, TTC no. 1 for over a year, be suitably evil and Hag like, willing to shout Cunt at the moon on regular occasions, consume extra gin when our fellow hags are unable to, and to get the nipple tassles out for any successful Hag ...

and now we've been trained by the government in our new MI5 roles, we are likely to get a little Ninja on your ass if you babydust round here ...

No admittance without a complete BESHtionnaire - see below.

OK so now this has deigned to work...

Barking, not a good start to a Sunday morning bit you sound like a cool head for a crisis and I have muchomrespect for the domestic godessery. Go girl and enjoy your walk. I say. From bed

Rain I think the who to tell is a very personal choice. We keep our respective families fairly up to date with arbitrary details and dates. Jungle drums beat quicker in ROCH's family and luckily he deals with that! It works for me from a self preservation perspective to keep the emotion out of it. That's what you guys, ROCH, woo coping mechanisms and a small umber of RL friends are for!

I've told on a need to know basis and seem to have a small network of allies across my various walks of life. Not necessarily really close buddies or the people I thought I'd share with but people who I know I can trust and were there in the wrong place at the wrong time when I needed some support or could do with being cut some slack! Shouldering this burden is a heavy one and I'm glad I've got this as sometimes it just helps to let it out without the world knowing my business!

Barking we'll be cycle buddies at this rate, jeez it would be amazing to get two BFP's out of this. Please neither of us be left behind. I was going to say I hardly dare to dream but my actual dreams are full of babies at the moment, can't move for the damn things. TWINZ last night. Oh subconscious please tell me you have this covered and are manifesting this in the universe as we speak.

I'm just hoping the delay to our donor means she is responding and all is well on the egg front so we actually get some . Eeep.

Happy Sundays Hags (totally ignoring the fact that it's Mother's Day, not really in the mood).

Thanks for all your kind words when I was a mess on Thursday. I feel better now. I guess that mood swings between hope and total despair are part of the game. Deep breaths and carry on!

Most people in our life know that we've been trying for babies for a while and that I have mc-d. We'll probably tell family and close friends about IVF if we get there, even though I imagine my family won't be particularly supportive.

Three years later they still think I should just 'relax' and 'it will happen when I stop thinking about it'. On the next breath they'll make it clear that they think that having children is the MOST IMPORTANT THING ANYONE CAN DO WITH THEIR LIVES ... facepalm

Barking Hope your day has improved!

Erica I think it should be socially acceptable to slap anyone who tells you you'll get pg when you stop thinking about it .

Fab am I right in thinking your scan is Tuesday?

My bruise is now green and purple, and painful. Won't be stabbing in that area tomorrow morning!!!

chez take my hand, we're busting out of this joint together to join Fab in differ land soon .

Yea, scan is on Tuesday. Eeeep. Ace been remarkably calm about it for the past week but now starting to feel the worry creeping in again. Please let everything be ok. My SIL announced at our breakfast out for the mum's, ie her and MIL (but MIL couldn't come at the last minute as she was full of cold and didn't want to share it with me!) to the waitress that I was pregnant!! Wtf? I'm not ready for these announcements yet?!! It just all feels a little fate temping IFSWIM?

I second Barking, those bloody awful 'you just need to relax' commenters need to be shot!

Chez, all will be well, trust in the process, your donor's body is doing the business of growing follicles and you just need to concentrate on keeping that womble lining perfect for those embies

Barking that sounds like a horrid stabbing incident! Definitely avoid that area for a bit! Sounds like you must have hit a vein. Ouchy!

Vein stabbing be careful Barkin. Right with you partner, every step...

Fab I can't believe your sis would steal your thunder like that. Surely it's your news to tell when you're good and ready? I'm in disbelief for you. And willing you a good normal scan for Tuesday with everything I've got.

As for relaxing Erica, pah! Yes it's mega important for us all to chill out for our sanity and wellbeing but it won't get us all pregnant now will it!

Well yes Chez that's what I thought! I've told everyone who knew we were doing ivf (to be fair I'm out and proud about that!) but it's still very early days and I'm not ready for the big reveal at all. I need to get past the other tests first before I can go down that route. But she is terribly gobby!

fab at SIL, that's so out of line! Will be yelling COW as loud as possible between now and Tuesday. I have to go oop north tomorrow evening for an early client meeting on Tues, I am not going to be able to concentrate at all tho! Have some cuttlefish of calm (a bit bigger and therefore more powerful than those stinky cockles) in the meantime, you're handling the menkul like a champ!

barking (using this as a sub for a pukey face) at your stabbing mishap. I am so, so, SO not looking forward to the needle elements of ivf. I am such a big baby when it comes to stuff like this. I need to woman up! Love 'stick it in the fuck it bucket' - we're definitely stealing that!

chez will you get any further DE updates before Weds? I really hope it all goes perfectly!

erica and everyone else who shared their 'sharing' stance, thank you! I think I'm just feeling a bit sensitive about it. Sometimes it feels like they're only interested every now and then when they remember while I have to deal with this day I'm day out. I know that makes me terribly U as obviously they a) have their own lives and won't be thinking about me and my woes all the time and b) are probably actively trying not to poke at me too much. Basically, they can't win!
I think I'll try to be open with them, hopefully they won't let me down! Friends are another matter - I have a very close group of female friends but only one of them ever asks how things are going. The rest totally avoid the subject unless I mention it (which I never do now as they never ask - vicious circle I know!)

Pah! I hope everyone's had a good weekend. Got to navigate London rush hour on the tube tomorrow AM with one of those horribly annoying little wheelie suitcases. I am scared of the venomous looks and tutting already!

Good luck with the wheelie trolley tomorrow - I am not of that at all!!!

I decided the best way to be with those I told about ivf is to blind them with details. No-one really understands what's involved with ivf other than there's something to do with a test-tube/Petri dish and it's supposed to be really hard so I've been on a mission to share the details with anyone who will listen so that they'll be able to understand more when the next person comes along. Some people will always change the subject but you'd be surprised by the number that don't and are genuinely interested and flabbergasted by the complexity and amazingness of it all.

One of my 'besties' did piss me off though as I told her we were doing it when I last saw her in December (she lives at the other end of the country now) and she hasn't once contacted me to ask how it was going and then asked our other bestie in Friday whether I was diffed. We shouldn't that question come to me in the first instance? Isn't that my news?? I was really about it on Friday and Saturday but managed to calm myself down about it by the time I saw her on Saturday arvo thankfully. I know it's probably just my hors moning but still!! At least she did ask me eventually.

Ps I love the 'chuck it in the fuck it bucket' too. If I could remember any words at all I'd love to remember that one!!

Ops thanks for the cuttlefish too Rain - much appreciated . I shall shove it up my sleeve for safekeeping.

Fab I love that you have whores who moan on your behalf

I also go for the blind them with detail when it comes to friends. There are only a couple of people who know at work though. The majority of the office are between 18-25 so it doesn't feel appropriate anyway!

I feel ugh this morning. Injection was a lot better than yesterday but still can't get rid of the sodding air bubbles. And the instructions in the box say to pull the plunger out when you've stuck the needle in to check there's no blood (presumably to make sure you haven't hit a vein) but the big poster instructions with pictures don't say to do that. I didn't like the idea of pulling it up so I didn't... After yesterday's nightmare I was more tense though and just hated doing it. But then I didn't sleep well, had weird dreams, then woke up with a headache and nausea. Just wanted to stay in bed all way, feel exhausted. Now at work and just want tomorrow's scan to be over so I know what's happening. I'm really worried it's going to show something bad and the cycle won't happen . Logically there's no reason to think this, I should just trust that the clinic know what they are doing. But that's easier said than done. Need to listen to some hypno woo I think but don't have time before I need to be at my desk.

Barking feeling bleurgh is definitely part of the process! Along with the lack of energy, it means your body is doing the right things . I'm sure tomorrow's scan will be fine - I don't remember you having any problems with follicle growth when you did your iui so I'm sure you'll have plenty of the little buggers! And they can always keep you on the drucks for a little longer if they're a little shy.

Can we hold hands for scannage tomorrow? Think we'll both need it!

Do you do all the flicky stuff at the top of the needle to get rid of bubbles? I must admit it's not my strong point as TWH did the majority of mine but on the occasion that I did, that seemed the best way. I only have clexane to do now and that is pre-packed so we don't have to worry about it. Sorry I can't give any better advise. Call your clinic though and see what they say and if they can give you some advice.

Good luck with the scans tomorrow Fab and Barking!!

Hope you hear from the donor soon Chez! Yeah, I do try and relax, mainly because I don't want to be unhappy and stressed and anxious (does that make me selfish or something?) but you know, women get pregnant in refugee camps, where I know for fact they are not quite just chillin' and eaten quinoa doing Zita West meditations! It is NOT all in the mind.

Rain How was the tube with wheelie thing situation? I used to have to do it, and really, people can be so unsympathetic!

My family and friends can't win with me really. If they don't ask about TTC, I get pissed off and fume thinking they are selfishly avoiding the subject because it makes them uncomfortable. On the other hand, if they ask too often, I also fume and think 'there is more to me and my life than baby making!'. I'm coming to accept that most people in my life are trying to do/say the right thing ... they just don't seem to think it through sometimes (specially my family, I must say).

That said, a bestie should ask directly Fab, no wonder you are annoyed.

I.e my sister thinks she's being supportive when she says things like: 'oh so-and-so's sister s pregnant! I can't wait for it to be my turn to announce YOUR pregnancy!'.

I know it's sort of sweet that she's so enthusiastic but it makes me feel even more of a failure. Then again, I am probably over sensitive too.

Got a flutter of nerves in my tummy for you tomorrow Fab, ferret those cuttlefish away, I hope they bring you all the luck. You too Barking, have a toe hold each, exciting yet massively menkulling times.

I only do Clexane injections which are ready filled syringes so can't comment I'm afraid Barking. Just ow!

I hope you survived your day navigating the tube system Rain!

Quinoa and Zita West, oh you do make me laugh Erica, nice one!

We're good to go for EC Wednesday, ROCH has his orders and I've got extra drucks to add in... More news Wed avo...

I was flicking forever Fab, and squirting out as they said... Got tomorrow to do before the scan then I'll ask the nurse when I'm there if there's something I'm doing wrong. I was almost in tears this morning, had to push really hard to break the skin .
What time is your scan? We're going to start queuing at 7.30, hoping to be one of the first in soon after 8... The 6 week scans are scheduled on an appointment basis for the afternoon though, it's only those during the cycle you have to queue for.

Erica on the stress thing I always go back to when we started - I didn't start this journey like a wound up spring expecting to be an instadiffer! Yes, each month was disappointing but I wasn't stressed and I didn't have high expectations of a speedy bfp, so why didn't I get pg during that first year if all I have to do is relax? I was relaxed then!!!!

chez does roch go in on Wednesday to give a fresh sample?

I was listening to my mediation tracks from catching rainbows while at my desk today (on headphones, not for the whole office to hear) which helped calm me a bit. Need to listen to the hypno woo tonight as well. Feeling rather jittery about the scan tomorrow.

Erica I am 100% with you, it is impossible to say the right thing around us! My bestie (the one who does ask) says similar things like "it's so unfair, you'll be such a good mum" etc which I know come from a good place but ultimately make me feel sad!!

Will be rooting for you tomorrow fab, reckon I can sneakily check my phone during this big meeting??
Also hoping for good folkies for barking, COF!!

chez let's get this show on the road, here's hoping there's just a few of us left on this fred in a few weeks!!

survived the tube, was one slightly hairy moment crossing the road outside work when my suitcase sort of flipped over and started going nuts as a double decker barreled down on me! safely on my train now after day from HELL at work dealing with the biggest arsehole of a client ever. Glad I'm not in to deal with the aftermath tomorrow!!

Oh, and D&G can fucking fuck right the fuck off, and when they get there, they can fuck off some more

Argh! Forgot about that rain heard it on the Chris Evans show this morning (where he made his feelings clear on the matter - said he hoped they never took a painkiller as the would be interfering with the natural order of things as well )

D&G can indeed FUCK OFF and jump off a cliff. I hope their stupid comments result in a hit to their pockets. With the likes of Elton John telling people to boycott them you never know...

hey I fell off the fred! (Again) - it keeps not coming up on 'threads you are on' (probably because I'm not on it really I suppose)

I'm not around much at the mo hags, lots of work, only just got over the poorly, possibly moving house and off on hols for a few days on Wed but just wanted to pop in to throw every fish I can think of at Fab for the scan (I will find more fish I have never heard of on holiday and throw them too) - I have no real words to convey what I'm feeling for you - every bit of luck and hope in the world for you, lets just foo it hey :-)

Barking and Chez - stabbing sounds painful, I'm with Rain, when I get to that stage I need some serious womaning up!

deep breaths and carry on sounds like a good plan to me Erica :-) Its allowed to get shit sometimes though

Where did our newbie go? I dont even care if she fills out the Beshionaire - I need company when you all clusterdiff! come back sweary lady ....

prob wont be back until after hols. Mr Blue due spaff results test soon so we will know soon what we dealing with (or maybe we wont know anything at all but you know what I mean!)

Barking, was it you mentioned the website with IVF provision for all UK trusts on it? Could you point me in the right direction?

Oh and I heard the D&G stuff on the radio this morning whilst with Mr B, we both just curled up laughing. Oh how TTC changes your sense of humour!

I would like to upend a bucket of shite over the heads of D&G. What a pair of ignoramuses.

blue sounds like lots going on with poorliness and potential house moving! Enjoy your hols.

barking, cherry and fab I have everything crossed for you for this week

erica I'm the same. Our families are all preoccupied with other health issues so we don't get questions from them. We have told them limited details, but sometimes I want to tell them everything so that they realise how bloody hard it is and that ivf does not automatically equal pregnancy. And like fab I want more people to know the detail after I'm diffed.

We have been busy decluttering the house. I'm normally a rational person, verging on the sceptical, but a small superstitious part of my brain says that maybe if we get rid of our unnecessary clutter that's clogging up the nursery spare room, the universe will realise we have made space for a baby and deliver one up. Just typing that makes me think I've gorn mad!

Probably makes more sense than my subconscious opening a bird cage and making room for a baby fizz!!

blue I think that was me, but I can't find it now!

There is this site which comes from an old guardian article and might be out of date or this is the website doing the 'fairness' thing.

No idea if those links will work, can't preview in the app....

Oh fucky fucknuts - bloody mn app just booted me out mid message. Arse.

Barking you're up first tomorrow then Hag! Sending you the biggest Lefteye Flounder of luck for the morning for lots of round plump healthy follicles that are all the same size :)

I'm up at 11:00. Bricking it obviously but also felt poorly all day today like I had acid sitting just under my boobs, couldn't stomach my porridge but kept anything worst at bay with well timed gingernuts and carbs. I took this as a good thing. C'mon embie/s. Be a fighter/s. I will update as soon as I can after the appointment (hope you don't get told off Rain for over phone checking!). Thanks once again for your strength Hags. You are The Business!

Cherry - almost there!! Sending you the Daggertooth Piked Conger for your donor :)

D&G can go jump. What a couple of twat faced tossers. (Flounces off with a hair flick)